How the hell did I get home last night?
When did I leave the bar?
Why does my face feel like someone took a baseball bat to it?
I try to sit up, but my body is achy, and my head is pounding.
“Fuck! What did I drink last night?” I say to myself rolling over onto my side on the bed.
Bam! Bam! Bam! I’m not entirely sure if that’s the heartbeat bashing around in my head or if someone is at the front door. But when the same sound happens again, I can tell that it’s the front door.
“Come in!” I shout from the bedroom, and even that was hurting me. The pounding on the front door came again and I knew that it wouldn’t stop until I answered the door. I brace myself as I push up from my position on the bed and wobble on my feet as I take my first steps since waking up. With each foot placed in front of the other, I can feel every fiber in my body screaming at me as I approach the front door.
Just as I place my hand on the doorknob, more pounding ensues, and I pulled the door open to see Madison standing on the other side looking pissed. The same expression that she has on her face right now, flashes into my mind. Was that from last night?
“Fucking finally,” she says pushing past me.
I shut the door and slowly turn toward her. She’s looking in my fridge and comes out carrying some orange juice. She grabs two glasses and fill them, pushes one towards me and then gulps her own.
“Is everything okay? Listen, if you’ve been trying to call me, my phone is,” I look around the space, “around here somewhere.”
“Well, a part of me is happy that you made it home, the other part of me hoped that you were still passed out on the sidewalk where I left you,” she says.
“So, I was with you last night?” I ask.
“Not all night. I came around when you were likely blackout drunk and then you fell at some point and I left you there.” she explains.
“You, you left me there? What if I was to get run over? What if some rabid animal decided to chew on my leg?” I say dramatically as she laughs running her hand through her red mane.
“Last night sucked. I don’t like drinking and you know it,” she says.
“I know you don’t, but if you could just understand my shitty day yesterday, you would see some reason behind my drinking last night. I got fucked over last night,” I say in means of an explanation.
“I don’t think that I can listen to any of this right now, I’m sorry if I’m being closed minded, but the drinking and how drunk you were last night, I’m just not sure this is something that I want, that I need in my life. My family is still recovering, will be recovering for a long time.”
“I told you that I’m not an alcoholic,” I say firmly, pushing through the pain in my head as I straighten my posture, or at least I hope I am.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but now I’ve seen you shit-faced twice. That’s two times more than I wanted to think you did when we first started this thing,” she sits down on the wooden chair next to the small table in the corner that I use as more of a second office than somewhere that I eat.
I sit at the opposite end of the table, leaving enough space between us, to give her enough room to figure shit out.
“Sure, you’ve seen a few of my bad days, and yeah - I go to the bar and drink a few extra beers than I normally would. But I do not, I repeat, do not have a drinking problem. What you’re seeing here is usual relationship shit. You see people in their good times and in their shit times. Congrad-u-fuckin-lations, you’ve seen both.”
“Is that how you normally cope with a bad day? You go to the bar and drink?” she questions.
“I’m sure there are other ways to cope, but that’s the quickest and I’m surrounded by people instead of wallowing in my sorries alone. I told you, I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a casual drinker.”
“What kind of casual drinker needs a tab?” she asks coldly.
“If you would look at what’s on my tab, you’d notice that I rarely owe high amounts, but either way, it’s doesn’t matter. What matters right now is that you are judging me for how I deal with shit,” I say quietly shaking my head.
“Maybe, just maybe we should cool things off, maybe I need to reframe everything.”
“Reframe? What’s there to reframe?” I ask.
“Maybe we should take a step back,” she says, “I think we’re moving too fast, too soon.”
“A step back?” I repeat.
“Yeah, I wasn’t too sure about the future when we first began dating, but maybe I need to see if I can manage dating someone who hangs out at a bar, and not let it affect my own personal judgements.”
Too late for that! I think to myself.
I nod, not really wanting to say anything as well as giving into the hangover.
I can’t force her to see it my way and I really don’t think I would have any power over her decision. She feels one way and no matter what I tell her, I don’t think that she will listen. So, there’s, no point.
“I’m just going to let myself out,” she says standing.
“Do we just leave it like that and go our separate ways?” I ask turning and walking behind her to the front door.
“I mean, we’ve existed in this town before without really knowing one another, why not?” she shrugs.
“Right,” I respond. “Mads? Do you really think that I’m an alcoholic?” I ask.
“I’m not saying that you are, but I think overall what I am saying is that I can’t deal with the little bit of drinking that you do on an occasional basis as it stands.”
“So, the standard line of, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’?” I say.
She avoids my gaze and then nods.
“Okay then, well, just to be clear, this is not something that I want,” I tell her.
“I know. And you are a great guy, but I can’t be around someone who–”
I hold my palm interrupting her, “I know, you don’t need to say it again.”
The front door opens and she steps over the threshold, then stops before turning around again.
“For what it’s worth, you’re a great guy. But I think that you’re just not the guy for me,” she says sadly, lowers her eyes to the ground and walks away.
One more thing to add to my hangover, a break-up.
Chapter One Hundred Fourteen
A few days of radio silence from Madison and I’m crawling out of my skin. We were only dating for a few weeks, but I felt that we grew close and sort of bonded something powerful.
One part of me is pissed off that she can be so closed minded the other part of me understands. She dealt with some horrific shit, losing her dad due to someone drinking, but she also cannot put restrictions on someone as soon as she meets them.
I never showed her any disrespect or show her that I didn’t care. I was open with her about why I hung out at the bar and truth be told, I was hanging out less at the bar than I normally would since she and I began dating.
Before starting something with her, I was there daily, as soon as I finished my work for the day. But since we started dating, I worked a little longer and would spend more time with her.
I’m sitting in my normal stool at the bar, with a bottle of beer in one hand and my phone in the other.
“I bet you could save a lot of brain cells by just putting down your phone and stop thinking about her, man,” Noah says putting a fresh beer in front of me.
“Yeah, probably. But there was something refreshing about being with her,” I explain.
“You mean, refreshing as in you were getting laid on a regular basis?” Noah says with a laugh.
“Possibly, but she is the opposite of what I thought about her,” I say taking a sip of my drink.
“Were you falling in love with her?” he asks.
“I’m not sure. We were in the beginning of our relationship and basically just had our first fight, but it was totally one-sided so I’m not sure if that even qualifies as a fight.”
<
br /> “I think a fight is a fight. Even if it is one-sided. But it would have been cool for you to be able to fight back. Heard you were shit-faced, but why?”
“I had just finished my third project for a huge client, when I finally got them on the phone, they broke the news to me that they’ve gone bankrupt and wouldn’t be able to pay me for two of the programs that I created for them.”
“Oh shit man, isn’t there some kind of insurance that you can get for shit like that? There’s insurance for everything.”
“They’re going to startup another company and they were planning to use the software that I created for them, for these new ventures. Said that they would pay me then. Suing them would mean nothing, they have no money, I’d just be wasting money of my own.”
“Have you already delivered the products to them?” he asks.
“I delivered the first and the second, but not the third. However, without the third, the other two would be obsolete. I was smart thinking with that one.”
“What does the program do?”
“They’re all under the computer science element. But one cannot work without the other. They paid for the first program, so I can’t really resell all three as a bundle.”
“Can you recreate and rebrand? Is there any non-compete with your contract with them?”
I think about his question and smile immediately.
“Noah, you are a brilliant businessman!” I stand, chug the rest of my beer and walk to the front of the bar with swagger.
It’s been a week since my conversation with Noah at the bar. Day and night, I’ve been inside my cave of an apartment working on the changes to the programs. I’ve gone through the first two programs and rebranded all the elements and changed some of the paths for a functional program that any corporation could use on the mass scale. I call a marketing company to set up a zoom meeting to make packaging plans and about showcasing this product series to prospective clients. Now that I had spent time getting to know Madison and had spent time with her, I’ve started to miss her. I’ve had to stop myself a few times from having a meal at the diner versus my usual spot at the bar.
My next move is the implement a plan to get the girl back.
Chapter One Hundred Fifteen
I’m dressed in a nice button-down shirt, with my sleeves rolled up my forearms. My jeans are hole free and dark with converse shoes. I look polished and it’s the first time that I’ve been out in public in a week.
I’ve got a solid plan for my future and a way to secure myself financially for several years, if my plan goes well. I just need someone to share my life with.
I spoke with Nydia and she gave me a short run-down on Madison’s schedule. I know that she is here right now, Nydia is also working which will be helpful to give Madison and myself some privacy to take our conversation outside.
I take a deep breath, shake out my arms and open the diner door. I step inside and look around to not see Madison anywhere. Nydia angles her head towards the back and just as I look to the doors that divide the space, she walks out fanning her face.
She stops immediately as soon as our eyes connect, and I see her lips straighten into a forced frown.
I walk up to the breakfast bar where she is frozen in her steps and lean in towards her.
“Can we chat for a few minutes?” I ask quietly.
“I’m at work right now, and no, we cannot chat. I don’t think right now that there is much to talk about,” she whispers back to me.
“You forgot that there are two people in a relationship, and you didn’t give me a chance to speak. It’s your break time, so how about we take that break out back and have a quick chat?”
“It’s not my break,” she protests.
“Yes, it is,” Nydia says reaching for Madison’s elbow. “Go out back, have a quick chat with him. I think that it would be good, for the both of you.” Nydia looks between us.
“Why are you taking his side?” Madison asks.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side, but just listen to him. You at least owe that to him. And if you don’t give him a chance which you know you are dying to do, then you guys go your separate ways like before.”
I see hesitation as Madison looks between us, but I watch the moment that she relents, and she nods.
“Thank you,” I whisper to Nydia.
“Hey, don’t thank me yet. I just pushed a little. You’re the one who has to do the work”
And she’s right.
Completely right.
I follow her out the back of the diner and into the back parking lot. I walk us over to the park benches that are back there, and we sit on opposite sides.
“I have fifteen minutes before I need to be back inside,” she tells me.
“Okay, I’ve rehearsed this a bunch, so if it sounds rehearsed, it totally is,” I clear my throat. “We are a relatively new couple, and when you came over that morning, the morning after, you did all the talking, all of the insinuating. You broke up with me and that was that. I want a chance to talk and I want you back.”
“Well, then talk,” she says.
“You mentioned you’ve seen me twice, drunk. The first time was a celebration of our friends getting engaged. Then the second time was when I had one of the worst days in my career. A day, that I had banked on financially and in one phone call, it went down the drain. I know that you have something about drinking, but I would never put anyone in harm’s way. I’m not an alcoholic, but I’m an adult and I can make my own decisions.”
“I’m sorry,” she offers.
“I like you, a lot. But if I have a drink here and there and you’re judging me, calling me a bad person because of it, then maybe breaking up was the right choice. But you shouldn’t define me or our relationship from just two nights.”
She takes a deep breath, her eyes never faltering from my own.
“I will admit that I ran at the first opportunity. I know that I didn’t give you a chance to fight for us and I didn’t let you talk. I know you’re not an alcoholic, and I didn’t listen to you about why you were drinking so much that night, if for any reason at all. I saw you drunk, and I acted horribly.” She pauses and then asks sincerely, “what happened at work?”
“A client who I had created several programs for went bankrupt and my money was tied up in them for at least the next six to nine months, so I went to the bar and drank. I was upset and pissed. You can ask Miles and Noah, it’s not often when I get that hammered.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. What are you going to do for work now?”
“Well, Noah and I had a conversation last week and I decided to pull back on the software rebranding and put it on the public market.”
“So, you mean, you’re going to list a software product that you designed for someone else to the whole market?” she asks.
“It’s a bundle of programs that work together.”
“Why couldn’t it be just one program?” she asks.
“The information is too large.”
“What if someone buys only one of the three?”
“They will be prompted to purchase the other two. There would be a better price point for the companies to purchase together. My marketing manager is going to assure that the program gets in all the leading tech companies. My goal is to be a household name in the computer science industry and to be the go-to for future design products.”
“Is that how it works?” she asks.
“I have no idea, but we’ll see.”
We’re quiet for a moment. I’m watching her and she’s nervously biting her lower lip and playing with a piece of her hair.
She looks up at me and smiles.
“So, you and I?” I ask.
“Yeah? What about us?”
Epilogue
I am currently contracted with the government for a hefty price tag to have my programs dedicated solely to them for a period of five years. Coming straight out of the individual contracts into this mega contract with such a st
rong entity was not something that I was expecting, but I am definitely glad to have mentioned trying it to my marketing guy and so, here I am.
I am no longer struggling for business. I am no longer wondering where my next pay day will come from and I am one hundred percent focused, okay ninety percent focused on maintaining the interface of the programs with the updates as needed as well as creating new software content for fun, for side projects.
I sit at my workstation in the house that I purchased just outside of Mercy, on the piece of land by Nydia’s house once I received my first check. My monitors are going through a scan of one of my fun projects just as hands wrap around from behind me and cover my eyes.
“I’ve got something for you,” she whispers into my ear, then playfully pulls at my ear lobe with her teeth.
“Yeah? What do you have?” I ask.
“Do you know what today is?”
I shake my head.
“Today is the 1-year anniversary of when you and I got back together,” she says unwrapping her hands from me and then coming in front of me to sit on my lap as I push out a little bit from the desk and wrap my arms around her.
“Is that so? Are you sure?” I ask her.
“I am. I added it to my calendar so that way I can remind myself how lucky I am that you decided to come to the diner that day.”
“Oh, do tell me how wonderful it is, that you and I are together?” I tease her kissing the side of her neck.
“It’s pretty wonderful, but you don’t have to be a douche about it.”
“You know what, I did remember today was that day. In fact, I got you a little anniversary present,” I say maneuvering so that I can reach inside my desk drawer.
I hid the box from her eyesight and then I kissed her gently before placing my palm with the ring in the middle in front of her.
She looks down and sucks in a breath.
“Madison, you gave me a chance when it went against your original thoughts, but I did what I could to get you to see that I wasn’t that guy you pinholed me for. We moved into this house together and made it our home, made each other our home. I want to be with you day after day, through all the good and even the bad. I want to grow old and be forgetful with you. Ultimately, I want you to be my forever and I really, really want to be yours. So, what do you say? Will you give this guy a chance and risk your forever with him?”
The Neighborhood Series (The Neighborhoood) Page 41