“James, that must have been very hard to hear,” Grace said.
James smiled at Grace. “It was, but I’ve had an excellent life. I know my adoptive parents love me and they gave me everything I wanted. All my mother knew was that the birth parents were Amish and were from Winfield Falls. Other than that, she knew nothing else.”
Samuel scratched his beard. “That would have been about nineteen years ago, maybe twenty. I don’t recall any babies that were put up for adoption at that time.”
“I don’t either,” Barbara said, shaking her head. “News like that would have traveled very fast around here.”
“Ever since I found out, I just had this feeling inside of me that I needed to know who I was, what my history was,” James said. “Since I have been here, I have felt a sense of belonging that I can’t explain nor can I understand.”
“How does your mother feel about you coming here?” Barbara asked.
“Oh, she’s fine with it. She understands I need to find out my heritage,” James said. “She will always be my mother no matter what, but I just need to find answers to some of the questions I have.”
Barbara smiled. “I understand completely.”
“I can’t thank you all enough for your generosity and your kindness,” James said, almost in tears. “I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
* * *
“He’s living at your place?” David questioned Grace. “Why?”
“Because he needed a place to stay and my family wants to help him,” Grace said. “Why are you so upset by this?”
“I don’t trust him,” David said. “This strange Englisch shows up claiming to be adopted and wants to find out about his past, and you take him in without asking any questions?”
“Ach, David, you must open your heart more. Gott would not want us to ignore him,” Grace said, putting her hand on her hips. “Besides, my daed checked up on him before taking him in.”
“I hope for your sake you are right,” David said, frowning. “You just seem more involved than you should be with him.”
Grace smiled. “Ach, David, don’t you worry, everything is just fine. And I’m sure once he finds out who his parents are, he’ll return to Boston.” Grace shrugged. Secretly she had grown used to having James around these past few weeks and found him amusing and loved to listen to his stories of his growing up in Boston. When he did decide to leave, she would be very sad indeed.
“I suppose,” David said, then he turned and left.
Grace frowned as she watched David walk away. God taught them to be kind to one another and help each other. Why was he acting like this? That wasn’t like him. He had been acting strange the last few days, but Grace just thought it was because it was so busy at the Museum and everyone in the community was getting ready for Becky and Hans’ wedding.
Going back to the gift shop, Grace shook her head. She didn’t have time to worry about what was bothering David. She had way too many other things on her mind. She had tours to prepare for the day and she was also helping Becky with her wedding.
Grace looked up when the door bell jingled to see Becky and Sarah walk in.
“Are you getting excited, Becky?” Grace asked, smiling at her friends.
“I can’t believe it. In a week I’ll be a married woman,” Becky squealed.
“I think David and you are next,” Sarah said, walking over and perching herself on a stool.
Grace made a face. “David and I? I doubt it. He hasn’t even mentioned anything nor does he seem interested in getting married.”
“Ach, he’ll come around,” Becky said. “All it takes is one wedding, and he’ll start thinking about his future. Gott will give him the sign when it’s his time.”
“How is James doing?” Sarah asked. “Has he found any new information?”
“He’s doing gut. He seems to enjoy living here. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him to not know where you are from or who your parents are,” Grace said. “I honestly hope we can find some answers for him.”
“If he knows his parents are from this area, then someone must know something,” Becky said, getting up off her stool. “It wasn’t that long ago.”
Grace nodded her head. “It is indeed a mystery. Hopefully, with Gott’s guidance, we will be able to help him.”
After her friends had left, Grace walked over to the window and looked out into the main yard of the museum. In the distance, she could see James walking across the way toward the Museum. Smiling to herself, she thought, he does look handsome dressed in his Amish clothes and he is so very kind and thoughtful. I wonder what it would be like to be married to him… Shaking her head to free herself from the daydream she was about to have, she went over to the display shelf and got busy organizing it. She was going to marry David one day. She shouldn’t be thinking about other men, especially men she knew she could never have.
* * *
Chapter 9
“Daed, did you find any information from the Elders?” Grace asked her father when she and James came into the kitchen.
“Ah, I was just about ready to come find you. I have some news.” The Elders have given me a name of someone who might know something.”
“Really? Who?” Grace asked, sitting down at the table.
“Her name is Katherine Stoltz, and she is the daughter of Jeremiah Stoltz who founded Winfield Falls,” Samuel said. “She’s moved and is now living in Rosemound, but apparently she knows everything about Winfield Falls.”
“Ach, Daed, can we go visit her?” Grace asked excitedly.
“Jah, I’ve already made arrangements, and we can go tomorrow. If we leave early in the morning we can be home by supper,” Samuel said, looking over at James. “If anyone is going to be able to give you answers, Katherine can.”
* * *
The next morning, the three of them set off to Rosemound in search of the answers that weighed heavily on James mind.
“I am so excited, I hardly slept last night,” Grace said. “Aren’t you excited, James?”
“Yes, excited but a little scared. This is the closest I have ever gotten to actually finding anything out.”
Katherine Stoltz lived in a big farmhouse with her daughter and son-in-law. As Samuel knocked on the door, Grace’s heart pounded and she was sure everyone could hear her heart beat. She could only imagine what James was feeling.
A pleasant looking Amish woman answered the door. “Gut morning. Can I help you?”
“Jah, my name is Samuel Yoder. We’re here to speak with Katherine regarding a young man named James seeking information about his parents,” Samuel said, tipping his hat.
“Ach, jah, Samuel. This must be your dochtah.” She looked at James. “And you must be James. Please come in. My mamm is expecting you. My name is Elise,” she said, stepping aside so they could enter.
They followed her into the kitchen where they saw an elderly woman sitting in a rocking chair by the window.
“Mamm, the people are here. You remember, the ones that wanted to talk to you about the bobli,” Elise said softly to her mother.
The old lady turned and squinted her eyes. “Come and let me take a look at you,” she said, looking at James.
James walked softly towards her and smiled.
“Ach! You are the spitting image of your mamm. I had a feeling it was so, but now that I’ve seen you, I have no doubt,” Katherine said, holding out her hand. “Come and sit by me, boy. We have lots to talk about.”
“Please, everyone have a seat. I’ll make some tea,” Elise said, pulling out the chairs.
“Did you know my parents?” James asked, sitting down beside Katherine.
“I did, and it was a very sad story,” Katherine said, holding his hand. “Your parents’ names were Peter Hamish and Estelle Lapp. They were very young and very much in love but also very curious about the Englisch.”
“Were they married?”James asked, mesmerized with what the old lady had to say.
“No
, they decided to leave Winfield Falls to try the Englisch life for a while before they decided to settle down. It was during their Rumspringa years, and even though their families were heartbroken, they agreed, so the two left.”
“Did they ever come back?”Grace asked.
“Well, that’s where things turned sad. During their time away, Estelle found herself with child. After the bobli was born, they wanted to come back to the community but were told by one of the Elders they would not be welcome,” Katherine said. “Having a child out of wedlock was, and still is very much frowned upon.”
Grace looked at James. “So your parents are still alive.”
Katherine shook her head. “Nee, child. On their way back home, unfortunately, they were both killed in a car accident. No one knew what happened to the bobli and no one looked,” Katherine said, squeezing James’ hand. “Both families were devastated by everything that took place and they moved away. I have no idea where they are today.”
“They must have given me away so that they could return to the community,” James said. “That would explain why there were no names on my birth certificate.”
“That could very well be.” Katherine smiled.” It’s amazing how much you look like your mamm. I can see her in your eyes. She was always smiling and laughing; and she and your daed were inseparable. They were very much in love, and I have no doubt that they loved you too. I’m sure it was extremely difficult for them to give you up.”
“Well, thank you so much. You have answered so many of my questions. It all makes sense to me now,” James said. “I know I was loved and that is why I feel such a connection with the Amish.”
“Katherine nodded again and looked at James tenderly. “Have you had a good life?
“Yes, I have. I was adopted by a good Englisch family, and it was only after my father passed away that I discovered my real roots,” James said. “I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to talk with me.”
“Your parents were good people,” Katherine said, smiling weakly. “Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are.”
* * *
Grace’s head was reeling as they drove back home. Part of her was happy that James had found his answers, but another part was sad because it would probably mean he would be returning to Boston.
“How are you feeling James?” she asked almost afraid of the answer.
“I’m not sure. I feel relieved I guess.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Samuel said. “Take all the time you need to decide what you want to do, James.”
“Thank you. I have never met a better group of people who have welcomed me and made me feel comfortable,” James said. “I have a lot of thinking to do.”
Grace sat quietly in the back of the buggy. If he decided to go back to Boston, she knew in her heart she would miss so much about him. The many nights they sat out on her porch talking and laughing; how eager he was to learn everything he could about the Amish and the faces he made when he tried doing something by hand the first time. In their short time together, they had created so many lasting memories. The only person who would be glad that James went back to Boston would be David, and she dreaded the thought of his rejoicing in receiving that news.
* * *
Chapter 10
The next morning, James came downstairs for breakfast and Grace could tell right away what he was going to say. She fought back the tears she felt forming in her eyes.
“I’ve decided to go back to Boston,” he announced. “I owe it to my mother, and I can’t leave her all alone.”
“I understand, James,” Barbara said, going over and hugging him. “At least you now know your story, and it is one to be proud of. You come from a good family.”
Grace excused herself and went outside on the porch. She couldn’t fight the tears any longer and didn’t want anyone to see her cry. Sobbing into her hands, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Grace, but I need to go home,” James said, trying to comfort her.
“But you told me Winfield Falls felt like home,” Grace said, looking up at him. “Your roots are here, your history. Can you turn your back on it all?”
“If I still had family here, I would stay, but they are all gone. I really have no one except my mother and my Boston family,” James said. “That’s where I belong.”
“When will you be leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning,” James answered. “That will give me a chance to say goodbye to everyone who has been so kind to me.”
“I’ll miss you.”
Reaching over, he brushed a tear away from her cheek. “And I will especially miss you. You were the only one who believed in me at the beginning. I’ll keep in touch, I promise.”
Grace didn’t know why she felt the way she did. James was just a good friend, and she was so elated that she had an opportunity to help him find out about himself. As much as she knew deep inside he would be eventually going back to Boston, there was a small part of her that hoped he would stay. He was fitting in so well. It was as if he had lived in Winfield Falls all his life.
The next morning, after they said goodbye to James, Grace and her parents drove to the Museum.
“It’s nice that James was able to find the answers to his questions,” Barbara said. “I’m sure that Gott was pleased that we gave him the help he needed.”
Grace just nodded her head and continued to look out the window.
“Is there something wrong, Grace?” Barbara asked.
“I don’t know, Mamm. I just feel sad inside.”
“Sad because James has gone?” Samuel asked, getting involved in the conversation.
“I don’t know. Perhaps. I’ve just become used to him being around. It just won’t be the same around here.” How can I tell my parents that I have developed feelings for someone I can’t have? And what about David? I have feelings for him too, but he doesn’t seem interested in marriage. Will I ever find someone who truly loves me?
* * *
A few weeks later, Grace was shining the glass cases in the gift shop. James was all but a memory now, and life had returned to normal.
“I’ll be right with you,” Grace called out when she heard the jingle of the bell announcing a customer. Finishing the last glass panel behind the cash register, Grace stood up to come face to face with David.
“Ach, David! You startled me. What brings you here?” she burst out when she saw him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I wanted to ask you a question,” David said, nervously.
Grace smiled. “Sure, what is it?”
David looked around as if checking to make sure there was no one around. He cleared his throat. “Um…we’ve known each other for a long time, haven’t we?”
“Jah, David, since grade three,” Grace said nervously, wondering if this was the moment she had been waiting for.
David hesitated before saying, “well, we’ve been friends for so long, and we get along really well.” I was wondering if you would want to formally court me, and then become my wife?”
Grace stood looking at David. The moment that she had waited for had finally arrived, and she was confused as to why she didn’t feel the excitement she thought she would.
“I just believe that it’s time. All our friends are getting married, and I think it’s only natural that we do too,” David added.
Grace nodded her head. “Jah, David, of course I’ll court you.”
“You will?” David said, surprised. “I mean, that’s great. I guess we will need to make arrangements soon. We’ll need to get baptized and then set a date for the wedding.”
“Jah, we should tell our parents soon.”
“We can do that together after work if you want,” David said, walking towards to the door. “I better get back to work.”
Grace stood for a long time after David left. She was getting married. David had finally asked her. But why did she not feel the excitement and happiness she always dreamed she would?
She had been waiting for this day for a long, long time.
David will be a good husband, she said to herself. I’m probably just feeling this way because he caught me completely off guard. I’m sure the excitement will come eventually. Perhaps after we get baptized and choose our wedding day. Either way, I’m getting married, and I can be a good Amish wife, just like my mamm.
She was thankful it was going to be a busy day today. With four tour buses expected, she wouldn’t have time to think about David or the fact he had asked her to marry him.
Gott, please give me a sign that I have made a good decision, and I’m not making a mistake. David is a good man but why don’t I feel happy inside? Please show me why.
* * *
Chapter 11
Grace opened her closet door for the third time that day and stared at her wedding dress. She had been courting David for four months now. Most brides would feel excitement at the sight of their wedding dress, but Grace didn’t feel anything. In fact, even while she and her mother were making her dress, she thought something was wrong with her because she just wasn’t showing any enthusiasm. She had asked God many a night what was wrong with her but hadn’t received any answers.
In just a few weeks she and David would be baptized into the Amish church, and then three weeks later they would become husband and wife. She should be feeling the excitement and happiness, but she wasn’t, and she didn’t know why. She hadn’t even felt it when he proposed to her. But one thing that confused her was that David also didn’t seem excited about his wedding and always changed the subject when it was brought up. She remembered when her friends Becky and Sarah were preparing for their weddings— they were so excited, and all they wanted to talk about was their plans and about being good Amish wives. Grace felt none of that.
Going downstairs, she went into the kitchen and grabbed a cookie out of the jar. Her parents had gone away for the day to visit a man who specialized in Amish furniture. They wanted to look into buying more tables for the museum. Grace was responsible for opening up the museum and giving everyone their assignments for the day, and Becky had agreed to pick her up in the morning.
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