by Judith Pella
“Nothin’ will be makin’ me feel better except to get back on me feet.”
She smiled sympathetically. “That’ll come in time, darling.” She put the tray down and poured him a cup of tea. Taking it with her to the bed, she sat down beside him, careful not to disturb his body. Smiling at his battered face, she offered the cup. “Won’t you please drink this?”
He shook his head ever so slightly. “I told ya, I don’t want it. I don’t want yarself here, either.”
He’d been saying awful things like that ever since the doctor reduced the amount of laudanum Kiernan was to be allowed. Kiernan handled the pain in his own way, which was to counter it with anger. Victoria tried not to let his words affect her. He didn’t mean them, of this she was sure. But sometimes they hurt.
“Li’s going to stay with us for a while,” she went on as if he’d never said anything hurtful at all. “Xiang has gone out on the line to find a suitable place to set up his business and bring his family.”
“There are no suitable places for families on the railroad,” Kiernan declared bitterly.
Victoria shook her head. “As I recall, Greigsville didn’t seem so bad.”
Kiernan grimaced. “If yar mother would have kept ya to home in Baltimore, ya’d not be all miserable here with me. Why don’t ya leave, Victoria?” He looked at her with grim intensity. “Go on to New York and let yar father care for ya. I don’t seem to be able to do the job.”
Victoria put the tea on the night table and reached out to touch Kiernan’s face. He turned away, but she refused to be discouraged. “You are the man I love and the one I want to spend my life with. Do you know how grateful I am to have you alive and here with me? Can’t you see? This will pass. You’ll regain your strength, and you’ll heal.”
“And what are we to be eatin’ in the meantime? We have no money.”
“We have some,” she told him, realizing there wasn’t all that much. “I’ve been helping Li with mending, and since she’s coming to stay with me, we might as well take on more laundry, and I can help her with that as well.”
“I don’t want ya workin’ like that,” Kiernan protested.
“Well, right now your job is to get well,” Victoria ordered with as much force as she dared. “There’s nothing that says I shouldn’t take on responsibilities for making money while you’re laid up. Honestly, Kiernan, you can say what you like, but you aren’t going to drive me away.” She smiled at his scowl. “Looking like that won’t do it either.”
“I don’t want ya here anymore. Don’t ya understand? I want ya to go home where you belong.”
Victoria forced herself to remain strong. “I am home, Kiernan. Wherever you are, that’s where I belong.” She gently stroked his face until he reached up to stop her. He said nothing, but she saw the pain in his expression. Leaning forward, she placed a kiss on his lips. “I love you. Now and forever. For better or worse.”
“But it’s always worse, never better.”
She smiled and shook her head. “You know that’s not true. We’ve had a hard time of it, but it hasn’t all been bad. Perhaps we have made mistakes, poor choices, but it doesn’t mean we can’t hope for better. I’ve been praying a great deal since your accident, and I firmly believe that God is working to get our attention. There are things we’ve done and things we’ve failed to do. Maybe we need to get our house in order, Kiernan.”
Still Kiernan said nothing, and Victoria got up to leave. “The tea is right here, well within reach. If you need anything else, just call me.” She paused at the door and her heart nearly broke for the sight of him. Please help him, God. He’s so defeated—so wounded, and he’s pushed me away so completely. She tried not to be hurt about it, but it did hurt. She missed her husband and the love they had shared. This stranger in her husband’s body was a difficult soul to live with, and she could hardly bear to imagine what she would do if the Kiernan she had loved and married refused to return to her.
17
Mr. Crocker,” Victoria said as she happened upon the man coming up her street. She had taken the opportunity of a beautiful summer day to go to the market for what little they could afford.
“Mrs. O’Connor,” he said, tipping his hat. “How is our invalid?”
“Better, I think,” she said, shifting her empty basket. “I was just on my way to the grocer. Kiernan’s starting to eat a little more, so that has to be a good sign.”
Charlie nodded. “I know times are hard, Mrs. O’Connor. I’ve already spoken with Hopkins and Stanford. They agree we need to see this thing through. The CP may be low on funds, but we do not turn our backs on one of our best and finest.”
“That’s very kind of you to say.”
“Well, kind or not,” he replied with a grin, “I intend to see you cared for. The Central Pacific can surely do no less.”
“I’ve allowed a friend, a Celestial, to come and stay with me. She and her small son are living with us, and she is helping me with the endless chores. In turn, I’m helping her with her laundry business. It’s giving us a little bit of income. Not much, but it’s something.” She smiled and could see the concern in his eyes. “The worst part is climbing all those stairs,” she continued, trying to sound lighthearted, “but the water is plentiful, and Li and I are both young enough to endure the work. You mustn’t worry overmuch. I know Kiernan wouldn’t want that.”
Charlie nodded, then his face lit up and a grin spread from ear to ear. “Say, I have an idea. And it’s quite a capital one if I do say so.”
Victoria shook her head. “What is it?”
He nodded enthusiastically. “I have a modest property just two blocks away. It’s a small house, and in the back is a covered walkway attached to a chicken coop. At least that’s what the last owner did with the place. I acquired the property about a month ago in lieu of pay from the Central Pacific. It’s mostly on the ground level, and there’s a pump right in the kitchen, with another one under the walkway. I was going to advertise to rent the place out, but instead, I think it would be perfect for you and Kiernan, and your little friend too. You could very easily set up a laundry business by converting the chicken coop.”
“I couldn’t do that,” Victoria replied, although the idea sounded wonderful. She could only imagine how much easier their job would be if everything were on one level.
“Nonsense. Consider it part of the railroad’s compensation. It will be months, maybe longer before Kiernan will be able to get back to the line.”
“Truly?” Victoria’s heart sank. “Do you honestly see it taking that long?” Her tone was downcast, for she had tried many times to convince herself that Kiernan would be back on his feet in a matter of weeks.
Charlie smiled sympathetically and took hold of her arm. “Now don’t fret, my dear. Come along with me and let me show you the house. You never know, our boy just might surprise the lot of us, and if he does, then I say, ‘Three cheers!’ But until then, this might well serve as a beneficial solution for both of us.”
“But we aren’t paying very much in rent where we are,” she said, almost embarrassed to discuss financial matters. “I’m sure what we’re scraping together now is hardly what you could make from a true renter.”
“My dear, the money is hardly the issue. What matters is that we keep Kiernan on the mend and the wolf from the door. Besides, I’ll just get the Central Pacific to reimburse me, if and when we ever get our government funding. Ah, here we are now,” he said, totally dismissing the subject of money. “What do you think? They tell me it’s a Gothic Revival. You can tell because of the steeply pitched gabled roof. And just look at the upstairs window.”
Victoria looked to the only window gracing the second floor. It reminded her of a church window with its pointed arch. “I’ve seen this house when coming to the apothecary.” Indeed, she had wondered many times why it sat empty.
“Yes, it’s right here in the midst of such workings that everyone will be sure to know of your laundry service,”
Charlie declared with a sweep of his arm. “You have the apothecary’s business to the left. He’s a quiet little man who lives above the store with his elderly mother and aunt. Then there’s a small furniture store to the right. Both are fairly quiet businesses, and you shouldn’t have any trouble with either one. My house used to belong to a doctor and his wife. They kept their bedroom in the upstairs and ran his infirmary out of the downstairs rooms.”
She eyed the place with great consideration as they walked around to the rear entrance. The small wood-sided building was narrow in width but long in depth. The back was graced with a canopied walk with long slender posts that went from rock support to the flat roof and attached to another small building about ten feet behind the house.
As if seeing where her gaze had traveled, Charlie said, “We could always close that in to protect you from the elements when passing from one building to the other.”
Victoria nodded and allowed Charlie to direct her to the back of the property. “We can go inside, but first look here,” he said, quite delighted with himself. “Now just see if this wouldn’t make a wonderful place to set up your business.”
My business? Victoria thought it sounded quite silly. She was only looking for a way to keep food on the table and see Li and Jia provided for at the same time. She’d never once considered that she herself was truly starting up a business. But once again, Charlie’s suggestion had captured her imagination. Why, the chicken coop, as Charlie had called it, was a nice little ten-by-ten-foot building with a pump just outside the door.
Charlie dropped his hold on Victoria’s arm and peered into the chicken house. “It’ll take some cleaning. The former residents didn’t have time to pick up after themselves. They received word that their son had been killed in the war. Their daughter-in-law was left a widow with seven small children. They took the first boat to San Francisco, pausing only long enough to sell their possessions—this house included.”
“How awful,” Victoria replied. How often had she worried that her mother would write to tell of the death of some loved one in that cursed war. How senseless it seemed, yet from the distance of California it also seemed quite unreal.
She pushed aside such sad thoughts and smiled. “So the doctor had a liking for chicken, eh?”
Charlie laughed. “He worked extensively with the Chinese and was often paid in goods. At one point he had over one hundred chickens. Sold most of them to the butcher down the way, but he had to have someplace to keep them in the meantime. If you look behind the coop, you’ll see a little pen where he kept a pig or two now and then.”
She nodded. “It looks wonderful, Mr. Crocker. I just don’t know how we could ever convince Kiernan.”
“Well, you leave that to me. Come, and we’ll make certain that the inside is as fitting to your needs as the outside.”
Victoria smiled and allowed the older man to lead the way. She had no doubts the inside would more than meet her expectations. With a sigh of relief, she was beginning to see some light at the end of the same tunnel that had nearly taken her husband’s life.
“The Central Pacific can let you have enough fuel to see to your needs, the business included. After all, the railroad took your livelihood; it can just as well help see you cared for in the meantime. I plan to talk to the others, but I’m sure they will have no problem with this. Then, too, we plan to bring over food. The railroad is feeding workers on the line, and there’s no reason we can’t share a portion of that with you. It won’t amount to much, but it should help a little.”
“Oh, I don’t know what to say,” Victoria declared, looking in awe at the front parlor. Why, it was nearly bigger than her entire apartment. There was a wonderfully large stone fireplace against the east wall, and through an arched opening on the west side, she could see a lovely little kitchen. The walls had been papered with a delicate pattern of spring flowers and bold green stripes. It wasn’t exactly what she might have chosen, but she wasn’t about to protest. Especially given the fact that her present home didn’t even have paper on the walls.
Crocker allowed her time to explore, and with each step, Victoria felt her burden grow lighter. God had truly seen her need. They wouldn’t be left alone, and she wouldn’t have to write to her mother and admit to Kiernan’s failings, and they would be given a home fit for a king. She grinned to herself. Maybe not a king, but it suited her just fine.
All in all, there were five good-sized rooms on the first floor. Two were bedrooms, which Crocker told her had once been used for examinations and medical procedures. They were pristine and white with a thick coating of paint on the walls. Victoria easily saw their use as bedrooms. A third room was on the back side and led out to the walkway. It had apparently been used for storage and contained built-in shelves from floor to ceiling. In front of this was the kitchen, with a huge black stove that contained not two burners but four and an oven large enough for her to roast a tom turkey in. If she’d had one.
Upstairs was a large open room with slanted ceilings to match the pitch of the roof. Victoria went to the large arched window and gazed out on the street. Instantly she knew that if they were to move here, she would want this room for their bedroom. Of course, with Kiernan unable to climb stairs, she would probably have to see to him on the first floor. But eventually they could share this room. She felt a silly anticipation at the thought of creating rag rugs for the wood floors and curtains for the windows.
She returned to the first floor and went once again to the kitchen. There Charlie was testing the pump.
“So what do you say?” he inquired as she made one more inspection of the kitchen cupboards.
“It’s rather like dying and going to heaven,” she breathed, turning to beam him a smile. “If you can talk that cantankerous husband of mine into it, then I would be most gratified to take you up on the offer.”
“Consider it a done deal,” Charlie replied. “Kiernan will listen to reason—if not, then I’ll simply tell him he’s not up to fighting the matter.” He grinned. “I’m glad I could help. You don’t know how I’ve fretted for both of you.”
Victoria lifted her gaze to gratefully meet his eyes. “Your kindness won’t be forgotten, Charles Crocker.”
——
That afternoon, Victoria stood inside the little chicken coop with Li and Jia at her side. Charlie had dismissed them both while he discussed the matter of the move with Kiernan. Victoria was secretly glad that she didn’t have to be in on the announcement. Kiernan would fight against it; she knew that as well as she knew her own name. But she also knew Charlie Crocker was a determined man. He would make her husband see the sense in the matter.
“We do good work here,” Li declared. “This plenty good.”
“I thought so too,” Victoria replied. “I figured we could get some spare lumber and build a counter. Maybe Mr. Crocker could help us.” She hated to impose further on Charlie’s good nature, but they would need to do certain things if the laundry business was to run efficiently.
“I get cleaned up,” Li told Victoria. “This no problem. Jia and I stay right here.”
“No, Li, you can have one of the bedrooms in the house. This will strictly be for doing the laundry.”
“I have room in house?” Li’s eyes grew wide with wonder.
“Absolutely. I only brought you here to see what you thought of the building. I wanted to make sure you thought it would work for the laundry business.”
“Oh sure. It work plenty fine. This nice room. I clean up now.” She began to gather up pieces of crates and started to hum as she worked.
Victoria smiled at Li’s confidence. Leaving Li to consider the coop, Victoria wandered back to the main house and eyed it critically. There was a great deal she could do to make this place into a home. Curtains at the windows, maybe a few pictures on the walls. If Kiernan started to feel better, maybe he could even make them some more furniture. The potential was limitless.
The bedrooms sat just off the back of the parlo
r. The first was the smallest and would make the perfect place to position Kiernan. It had a window that looked out on the furniture store. It would give him a chance to see what was going on there and maybe even encourage his healing. He loved working with his hands, and maybe if he saw other creations, he would be encouraged to get busy with his own.
The second bedroom was larger and would work nicely for Li and Jia. Later, after Li left to join Xiang, it would make a nice guest room or sewing room. Of course, once Kiernan healed, Crocker might well want them to move on. Victoria frowned at the thought. I’d best not get too attached to this place, she thought. There was just no telling how long they would be able to enjoy the well-kept little house. But it was a pleasant gift and a blessing that she credited God with having provided. Temporary or not, she intended to enjoy the place for as long as she could.
After opening all the windows in order to air the place out, Victoria went back into the kitchen and nearly clapped her hands at the idea of having so much space to work. She would be able to have company sitting in the front room while the work of the kitchen went on out of their sight. But there was room for a table and chairs in the kitchen for more informal gatherings.
Shaking her head, she laughed out loud. “And who were you expecting to have as company?” Her father and mother came to mind, and this naturally led her to thoughts of Brenton, Jordana, and Caitlan. Only then did it dawn on her that she’d not even written to Kiernan’s sister in regard to the accident. Caitlan should know what had happened. In fact, it might be the one thing to hasten her to California.
She had often wondered what Kiernan’s sister might be like. Would she look like her brother? Would she be kind and gentle, or rambunctious and wild? The very thought of having Caitlan come to live with them filled her with both apprehension and joy. What if they didn’t get along? What if Caitlan resented Victoria’s relationship with Kiernan? On the other hand, if she cared so much about having a place in her brother’s life, then why was she taking so long to get here?