“Are those the Better than…” she asked.
“Better Than Sex muffins? Yes, and no. Same muffin, different name, because I figure our audience is now PG. So I renamed them Sinfully Delicious. There’s a new one, Hazel’s Nut, which of course has hazelnuts.”
“If you’re selling stock in your business, I’ll buy some,” Thomas said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
Hannah laughed.
“I’m serious,” Thomas said, and Ruth and Hannah looked at him. Apparently, he was.
Then the bell began to ring endlessly, and Ruth headed back to the front of the store as the family of regular customers poured in, followed a few moments later by Lauren Greene and her crew from NPR, who’d gone to Elaine’s for a bite before launching into work for the next six hours. Lauren was a tall woman, who Ruth judged to be in her mid-thirties, and who reminded her, ironically, of herself back then, with her long peasant skirt, high black boots, and dark, wild hair caught back with a clip.
Ruth was thankful the show wasn’t running live. They would be taping throughout the day then edit the material and put together what was to be a thirty-minute segment to be aired in a few weeks. She gave Lauren free reign to interview staff and customers alike, with the exception of Larry Porter’s surprise proposal. When the time came, Ruth asked that the crew take a break, or perhaps just go outside for a few minutes. Ruth didn’t want anything ruining the big moment.
She stood in front of the store as the crew set up then, happy to see Main Street alive with pedestrians for this First Friday Downtown Walk, which didn’t officially kick off until later in the afternoon. They’d advertised like crazy during Applefest, hoping the crowds would come back, and here they were.
“We’re here today in the Village of Warwick,” Lauren Greene began, “to celebrate the 150th anniversary of The Book Lover, an independent bookstore that’s been owned and managed by Ruth Hardaway for the past thirty years. As is often the case with properties that change hands, the history of The Book Lover was a mystery to Ruth, until the store’s assistant manager Megan Crockett began doing a little snooping…”
Against the background noise of the door opening, the bell tinkling and people chatting and browsing, Lauren Greene finished taping her introduction. Then they moved inside, where she interviewed Megan, asking her what her thoughts were for surviving in a future where megastores and online shopping seemed to be closing one independent after another.
“The way of the future is educating the buying public,” Megan began. “Here in Warwick, our downtown revitalization committee has begun a ‘Buy Warwick’ campaign that we hope will help people who live here realize finally that if they spend their money here, it helps everyone.”
Megan showed her copies of store receipts and newsletters, as well as e-mail printouts as she read out loud what they were now handing out. “If you spend $25 in your town at an independent store, $13.75 stays in your community. If it’s a big box or chain store, it would be $3.90. If you spend that same $25 on the internet, you’re giving $0 to your community. People have to think beyond saving a few cents, or even a few bucks. This is where we live. No one wants boarded-up shops on Main Street, but in some places, that’s what you have.”
Just then Lynn Anderson came in with her daughter Melissa. Ruth hadn’t seen her in a few months, and she was dressed as nicely as ever. Melissa went to pick out some children’s books and Lynn came over to Ruth with a gift bag in her hand.
“This is just a small token of my thanks for giving me so much pleasure over the years. It was like having my own personal book shopper. You always knew exactly what I wanted. And sometimes needed.”
“Thanks, Lynn.” She opened the bag and pulled out a tiny gold music box. As she lifted the cover, she recognized the tune immediately: When you wish upon a star… “Oh, it’s just lovely, Lynn.”
“I’m glad you got to keep the store open. I just couldn’t imagine Warwick without The Book Lover. Or The Book Lover without you.”
Lynn gave her a quick hug and went to join her daughter, who was sitting at a bistro table sampling some of Hannah’s muffins. Lauren was there, interviewing several others. In fact, Hannah’s corner of the store was packed. Ruth turned away, an ache in her heart. There was something missing in Lynn’s eyes already, as if a bit of the light had already begun to fade.
As she walked toward the front of the store, where Thomas was sampling some of Bertha Piakowski’s pierogies—she’d arrived with two platters of them while Ruth was being interviewed—she saw Colin finally arrive. She’d been wondering where he was. He kept insisting he wasn’t angry with her, but she had her doubts.
When she went to the lake last week and knocked on his cabin door, he didn’t seem surprised to see her. He was sitting at his dining room table, which was covered with papers. She sat across from him as he explained that he was finalizing a program at The Raptor Center for wounded vets.
“But you’re not here about this,” he said with a little smile, his head tilted to the side, which she’d always found so endearing. For a moment he looked like the Colin who used to wow his father, that mischievous twinkle in his eye before he’d jump into the freezing lake.
He thought she’d come because of Gloryanne.
“She’s doing the right thing,” he said then. “It’s been over a long time. She was just too sweet to admit it.”
“I’m not here to talk about her, Colin. I’m here to talk about Lucy.”
He’d looked startled. For a long moment she said nothing, praying he wouldn’t hate her. She told him then that she knew about the affair. “To be honest, I felt betrayed.”
“She wanted to tell you, Mom. I asked her not to.”
“When she came back from Florida, you assumed she was divorced, but she wasn’t. Her husband was fighting it.”
“So that part was true.”
“Yes.”
“What else?”
“Did you know she was writing a book about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“The character was a paraplegic, obviously modeled after you. There was some very intimate detail. And of course the birds.”
She was surprised to see him smile then, shaking his head. “And that upset you?”
“I felt like she was using you.”
“She wasn’t using me. If she writes about a paraplegic, it can only raise awareness.”
“So you don’t care?”
He shook his head. “I love her.”
And she sat there, remembering Lucy saying the same thing, “I love him, Ruth.”
“But you’re right, she did lie about being divorced. I never wanted to do what Dad did. I know how much he must have hurt you. I swore I’d never do something like that to anyone, whether I knew them or not.”
She felt her face flush with embarrassment. Although it was a small town, she often wondered how much her kids had heard over the years. None of them had ever brought it up, though. Until now.
“I’ve made peace with it, Colin, finally, after all these years, so let’s not talk about that.”
“I loved Dad, nothing will change that. Maybe he was like Thomas, a good man who made some bad choices. Maybe if he’d lived long enough he would have learned to appreciate what he had.”
She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “Thanks for saying that, honey. I think maybe you’re right.”
“And I’m not mad at you. Lucy knows where I am. If this is right, she’ll come back, no matter what you’ve done.”
Now Colin pushed himself through the store, which took a while because it was getting crowded, the counter and register hopping as browsers took advantage of the anniversary sale. She waited, and when he finally reached her he sat there a moment, unable to get up and hug her. So he took her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it.
“You’re an incredible woman, Mom.”
Dammit, she started to cry.
* * *
SOON THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT U
P WORKING. She lost track of Lauren, looking up occasionally to see her interviewing a customer as Kris recommended particular reads, and Harry talked about his sci-fi expertise. She went back to the café to check on Hannah, who was thrilled to report she had more than twenty orders for Book Lover Gift Baskets, each of which included a hardcover book.
“Eddie called to tell me that it’s really hopping there. I guess advertising this during Applefest was a great idea. He knocked twenty percent off all his appliances and he’s moving a lot of inventory.”
“Did you tell him how well it’s going here?”
Hannah nodded and gave her a huge smile. “Believe it or not, he told me he’s proud of me.”
“Good. He should be.”
When Ruth had her hair done yesterday, she was prepared to say something to Dee about being a little too friendly with Eddie. But before she could, Dee began to gush about running into an old boyfriend she hadn’t seen in years, and they were now dating. So apparently whatever had gone on with Eddie was over.
“Oh my God, here comes Larry Porter,” Hannah whispered loudly.
Ruth turned to see Larry coming through the front door with a dozen red roses, which Kris stashed behind the counter.
“Okay, I’m going to clear this place out. I don’t want them to be part of the show.”
“Isn’t it romantic? Proposing to her here?”
“Do you know almost every Friday since they met they’ve come here before going out for dinner? I can’t tell you how many times they had to get take-out instead, because they bought too many books.”
The NPR crew went back to Elaine’s for a half hour, since she was open late for the festivities, and Ruth had the staff ring up the rest of the customers as quickly as possible, telling them they were closing for a short dinner break. Larry paced nervously and Ruth saw the square bulge of a ring box in his blazer pocket.
“She’s a lucky woman,” Ruth told him.
But he shook his head. “No, I’m the lucky guy.”
“She’s here!” Megan whispered, and as Larry nonchalantly walked back to the history section, the door opened and Angela came in, wearing a red coat and a long black skirt. She waved to them all, blissfully clueless, then headed back to the fiction section, stopping along the way to give Larry a kiss. A moment later, he glanced at Megan and nodded. She slipped his CD into the stereo, which normally played light classical music during store hours. Megan turned up the volume and Sam Cooke’s “You Send Me,” Larry and Angela’s favorite song, filled the store.
Ruth saw that none of her staff could look at each other, afraid they might smile, giving it away. Surprisingly, Thomas and Jenny were chatting quietly near the counter. She peeked over and saw Angela glancing around with a look of surprise, then turning to Larry, who pretended to be riveted to a huge volume of history. Angela went back to perusing a novel. Then Larry quietly came to the counter and got the red roses. A moment later he tapped Angela’s shoulder and they all heard her gasp. Now they all watched as he gave her the roses, and as she stood there holding them with a look of astonishment, he dropped to one knee.
“Oh my God,” Angela whispered, loud enough for them to hear.
“I thought it only fitting to ask right here where we had our first date, if you would do me the honor of being my wife?”
“Oh my God. Yes!” she said and burst into tears.
Ruth’s eyes filled, and she saw they were all smiling and laughing with tears in their eyes, even Thomas and Harry.
“We’ll never be rich,” Larry said, slipping the ring on her finger. “But we’ll have lots of books.”
Ruth suddenly noticed that Colin was missing. She turned, just as Larry and Angela began to kiss, and scanned the store, realizing in that moment that of course this would be difficult for him to watch. How thoughtless of her. She spotted him then, sitting in his wheelchair in the front corner opposite the door, and was relieved to see that he wasn’t watching Larry and Angela at all. He was staring out the big front window across the street, where a group of people were clustered in front of the municipal parking lot.
A moment later, they walked away and it was then that she noticed the small woman with the shoulder length hair, still standing there alone. Staring across at the store.
It was Lucy.
50
IT OCCURRED TO LUCY WHEN SHE’D READ RUTH’S E-MAIL, that she couldn’t possibly have scripted things more ironically in a work of fiction than they were unfolding in her life. Once again she imagined an editor saying, “This isn’t realistic. No one will believe it.” And yet, it was true.
The morning she opened her laptop to find Ruth’s letter, apologizing for telling her to leave, she’d been waiting for David to arrive. They were going to the cemetery to put flowers on Ben’s grave, where neither of them had been since the funeral. And then she was going to tell him her news.
It was bittersweet, reading Ruth’s words that Colin and Gloryanne weren’t planning a future, after all. That he was free and told her he loved Lucy. Because she was pregnant by David, something that felt at once wondrous, and cruel.
Maybe how you felt didn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things. Maybe some things simply were meant to be, as David had often insisted.
Now, as she stood across the street from The Book Lover, the afternoon sun was setting, hitting the front window with a golden glare so she couldn’t see what was going on inside. She’d watched the NPR crew leave a short while ago—which she imagined must have thrilled Ruth— and then a steady stream of customers. Lucy wondered if the store was closing early, which seemed silly given the throngs of people walking through town. Even the weather, mild for early November, seemed to have cooperated for this First Friday.
Despite Ruth’s e-mail, she hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to write back. Now she found herself glued to the sidewalk, despite her intention to cross the street and go into the store. She’d been standing there for nearly half an hour and was growing chilled. As she made up her mind to just do it and not think further, the door suddenly opened and Ruth came out. She stood in front of the store, folded her arms, and stared straight at her. Lucy’s stomach began to vibrate, her knees turning to Jello.
Ruth brushed her hair from her face, a familiar gesture Lucy had seen her make countless times, and then began to cross the street. Lucy nearly turned around because she was terrified, despite Ruth’s apology. Whatever Ruth may have done wrong, Lucy was still ashamed of her dishonesty. She needed to make it right.
A moment later Ruth was there, right in front of her. “Hello, Lucy.”
“Hi, Ruth.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
They stood there, looking at each other for a long moment, as Lucy’s heart thudded wildly. Then Ruth smiled and it reached her beautiful brown eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She pulled Lucy into a warm embrace.
“Oh, Ruth.” Suddenly she was crying, then laughing because it reminded her of the first time they met, when she began to cry as Ruth pulled her into the bathroom. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
“It’s water over the bridge. Or under the dam. I never could quite get that straight.”
They looked at each other and laughed.
“You remembered the anniversary. I’m so glad.”
But Lucy shook her head. “Actually I realized when I got here what was happening. With everything going on, I guess I forgot.”
“Well, let’s go inside, it’s too cold to stand out here,” she said, taking Lucy’s arm and leading her across the street.
“Is Colin there?”
Ruth stopped and looked at her. “Yes, he is.”
Lucy hesitated, not sure how this was going to unfold. But she had to. This was the real reason she’d come. “All right. Let’s go.”
She was so anxious as they walked in the store it felt as if her already thudding heart was now ricocheting off her rib cage. The little bell tinkled cheerfully, just as she remembered, and Megan, who s
he didn’t recognize at first, was the first person she saw and greeted her warmly.
“This is just perfect,” Megan said, though Lucy had no idea what she meant.
As her eyes scoured the store for Colin, and she said quick hellos to Harry and Kris, she noticed Ruth walking toward the back, then waving her over. She walked slowly past shelves of books and in the corner of the store opposite the new café, Colin sat with his back to her, a book on his lap. Ruth nodded, and Lucy walked toward him alone.
He looked up at her, unsurprised.
“Good book?” she asked, unable to hide the tremble of nerves in her voice.
He held it up. It was The Good Soldier. “Yes, but not an easy read.”
She nodded. He was still looking up at her and she knelt down then, so they were eye level. “I’m sorry I left without saying anything to you.”
“From what I understand, my mother asked you to.”
“That’s no excuse.” She hesitated. “I was ashamed. And confused.”
“I can imagine. Although I’m sure the choice between me and your husband was an easy one, after all,” he said, and gestured toward his lower half.
“Oh, Colin, it wasn’t that at all. When Ruth began telling me that what I was doing was selfish, that I was going to ruin your future, I…I never meant to hurt you.”
He looked at her, but didn’t say a word.
“I know I wasn’t legally free, but I felt emotionally free, and the other just seemed like… a minor technicality. Something I was planning to rectify as soon as David gave up.”
“It wasn’t a minor technicality to me,” he said, looking away, anger in his eyes now. She couldn’t blame him. “But it’s a moot point, Lucy, isn’t it?”
“I love you.”
He blinked, startled.
“And yes, now it is a moot point.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Do you love me?”
He tilted his head then, a gesture she loved, that meant he was thinking about something hard, all the while looking at her.
“Yes, I love you.”
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