The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  Phoris nods as I call forth a seat from the kavi tree. I sit as I look out at Ka and call to him, “I’m ready.”

  For the second night in a row, I find myself in the small room where Lily has remained all day and night. Cessa raises her head from her place next to Lily and gives me a soft purr. She has remained quiet for Lily’s sake. Lily turns slightly as if knowing I’m there, but turns back breathing softly. Her lips part slightly and I feel myself lowering to touch them with my own. Frustration pulls me back. As long as I’m in the drift state and she’s not, I’m unable to touch her. I know that my father and mother both had the ability, but I never thought to ask if they were able to touch during the state.

  Cessa watches closely and the sense that she’s ready to pounce finally penetrates my thoughts. If I didn’t know better, it would seem that Cessa would do me harm should I disturb Lily in any way. I give her a look, but she continues to watch me steadily. “It will be time for you to go soon,” I tell her gently, but I guess not gently enough. For the rest of the night we remain in a silent tug-of-war of will on whether Cessa is to go home. In the end, she gives into her master and is gone before Lily awakes.

  And so am I.

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Nine ~ Lily ~

  I lied in bed in a trance state all night, all day and all through the next night. I stayed in the small room curled up in a ball, oblivious to everything around me. When my eyes did close, I saw Lucas and when they opened, I saw Lucas. I thought I would feel something, anything, but all I felt was emptiness, a loneliness so deep I didn’t think I would be able to come out of it. When I thought for sure I would die alone in a world I didn’t belong in, comfort came to me that first night. The black stealth who I thought had abandoned me slipped into the room, and with lightness that belies her size, Cessa crawled into bed with me. When she lightly made her way toward the head of bed, she settled in, her soft breathing comforting to my ears.

  I remember opening my eyes to see the feline eyes of the great panther staring back at me. There was gentleness and sorrow in them that reflected my own. I hugged her to me and prayed that sometime in the night I would cry. I should be hysterical, out of control crying…nothing. I withdrew deeper. Cessa never left me and I remained that way for two nights.

  On the third day, I awake to find Cessa gone. I sit up to look for her and the stone at my wrist pinches me. I look down to find the ink seeping from it has spread farther up my forearm. Looking closely, I realize I am staring at a panther’s tail and part of a back foot. I smile, rubbing at my tattoo.

  I scan the empty room again, but Cessa must have returned to her own realm. I remember what Tharin told me about how she could only be away for a short period of time. She must have just left because I remember her licking at my face earlier, as she did the previous morning. I guess I had my face washed for the day. Yeah…I think I’ll get up and see about finding a shower.

  I throw the covers off and as soon as my feet touch the floor, there’s a tap at the…I don’t know where it’s coming from. I don’t see a door.

  “Lily?” Sema’s soft voice calls from behind the unseen door.

  “Come in,” I croak. I catch at my throat noticing for the first time how dry it is.

  A door appears and Sema comes in with clothes on her arm and a glass of water in her hand. With a smile, she approaches and sits next to me. Taking my hand, she asks, “How are you feeling?”

  I glance at her with a small smile and nod, “I’m okay.”

  Sema gives me the water and I drink it quickly only to end up choking, going into a fit of coughing. “Slow down, Lily, there’s more where that came from.” She lightly brushes my hair aside, tucking it behind my ear. Hesitantly, she says, “I’m sorry to have been the one to tell you about Lucas. It’s never easy to hear such news.”

  I don’t know what to say. Just hearing his name makes me want to bury my head under my pillow. Instead, I sit and nod.

  “We wanted to give you some time and we knew that Cessa would come for us if you needed anything. She wouldn’t allow us in the room unless it was to bring you some water.”

  “You brought me water?” I ask, not remembering having anyone else in the room.

  “Ziri did. He checked in on you now and then, but only if Cessa allowed it. Of course, she couldn’t stop Tharin from entering.”

  “Tharin was here?” I ask surprised. I thought after I told him how I felt that he wouldn’t want to see me again. I mean, I did say I would marry him, so he’s getting what he wants, why would he come back? Oh my God…don’t tell me he wasn’t even there after I spoke with Lucas? Great, I worked myself up to say all of that for nothing. God, he’s annoying. Now I have to do it all over again.

  I get off the bed irritated, but before I can move away, Sema takes hold of my hand. “It’s all right, Lily. He was in the drift state. He’s not able to touch or say anything to you unless you’re in the drift state, too. Besides, he was worried about you. He came to see that you were all right. He stayed each night until the following morning before he had to go back. In fact, he and Cessa argued about her to returning to her own realm in the mornings. Let me tell you, she was not happy when he ordered her to leave.”

  Confused, I turn shaking my head asking, “Why?”

  “Well, I believe Cessa can only stay here for a time before her energy begins to wane.”

  “No, I mean…why would Tharin come to check to see if I’m okay?”

  She gives me a bewildered look, shaking her head, “Like I said, he was worried about you. You just experienced a terrible loss, Lily. He was concerned. Is there something wrong?”

  I sigh resignedly, shaking my head again. “No. I’m just tired. My body feels stiff and I’m hungry.” I look up at her quickly. “Wait. You can see and talk to people in the drift state?”

  “Of course, I can. So can you.”

  “No, I can’t,” I reply.

  “Yes, you can,” she counters.

  I stare at her as she looks at me challengingly. “Fine, I can. I’m sure you’ll teach me,” I answer a bit annoyed. My stomach growls and I rub at it, “I’m starving.”

  “Wonderful!” says Sema as she gets off the bed. “Here are some fresh clothes. If you strip out of those, I’ll take them and burn them. And I made you your favorite, chicken pasta.”

  I laugh and ask, “Why would you burn my clothes?”

  “Well, you have been in them for a few days now. And even though I did wash them, I think they’ve had their use…don’t you?”

  “No,” I answer a bit amused. “I like my clothes. They’re the only things I have from home. I’ll change, but if you can tell me where I can wash these I’ll put them away until I’m ready to go home.”

  Sema becomes quiet, looking me over thoughtfully, head cocked to one side. After a moment, she smiles, “Okay, Lily. If you say so, but for now, strip and jump into the bath. Today you’ll start your lessons.”

  “My lessons?”

  “Yes, your lessons. I will teach you how to use your abilities that you’ve recently discovered, and bring out the ones you haven’t. Then, you’ll be with Ziri.”

  “Ziri?”

  “Yes, Ziri will train you on how to defend yourself physically,” she replies.

  “You mean…self-defense? Ziri is going to train me in self-defense?”

  “Yes, yes…if that’s what you want to call it. Now, get in the tub before the water gets cold.” She pushes me forward and I take a step away from her.

  “What tub?”

  “The one in the corner, Lily,” she’s replies quickly. She stops and looks at me exasperatedly, “Really, Lily, you need to be sharper than that if you want to get far with your lessons. I know a lot has been going on and everything is coming at you from all directions, but you must find your center, focus and, most of all, pay attention.”

  I turn to see a wooden tub at the corner that wasn’t there a moment ago. I stare at it for a second, and then give up on figuring
out where it came from. I turn to Sema asking, “You don’t believe in giving time to grieve, do you?”

  Sema is wearing clothes similar to those of Ziri: dark pants and jersey top, soft boots and a belt made of what looks like tree bark. Her entire outfit makes her look active and fit, but for a moment she seems small and frail. With sad eyes, she catches my own and says, “I’ve grieved many, many times in my past, Lily – more times than I care to remember. I’ve cried enough tears to rival a thousand seas. I know what it means to lose someone who means the world to you. But I’ve learned that Death comes whether or not I want him to. I can step over the edge of the abyss until Death comes for me, or I can take what life I have left and make the most of it. It’s all about choices, Lily. You must choose to live. I’m not asking you to stop grieving – you will do that on your own. What I’m asking is that you don’t let grief hobble you in life. There is too much that need to be done, and not enough time in which to do it.”

  I move forward and hug Sema tightly. Her thin arms wrap around me and I feel her warmth and strength. She steps back and we laugh at each other with misty eyes. Then she moves away, swats my butt and disappears out of a door that’s not there.

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Ten

  ~ Lily ~

  After the most wonderful bath I’ve ever taken, I sat to eat with Sema. And true to her word, we had chicken pasta. I didn’t want to tell her that, yes, it’s my favorite food, but not for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I kept it to myself, however, because after the first spoonful, it didn’t matter. Once I started eating I couldn’t stop. Two plates later, Sema led me outside.

  We watch the rain from the landing outside the tree’s shelter, which Sema calls a “thela.” Where there’s no coverage the rain falls like sheets, yet in other areas, it run down from leaf to leaf in streamlets. Sema moves forward and with a wave of her hand, large branches with thick large leaves move toward us, intertwining like huge braided ropes. I can hear the strain of wood twisting and turning accommodating Sema’s wishes. Before I know it, a stairway made of the twisting branches is at our feet. The large heart-shaped leaves move neatly on top of each other to create steps rising far above us. With another wave of her hand, the stairway shakes furiously like a wet dog. When it settles, the leafy steps are dry. Above the stairway, more branches and leaves intertwine to provide us with a natural awning against the rain.

  Without a word, Sema nimbly take the steps. I watch, amazed at her agility despite her age and I follow at a slower pace. I can’t help feeling vertigo knowing I’m several feet up in a tree. At one point, my foot slips and a small branch nearby catches my wrist until I regained my balance. I look at the branch as it gently unwinds from me and I give it a smile of thanks. Before my eyes, small shoots of leaves appear on it as it trembles with delight at my gratitude. For the rest of the way, the small branch stayed close, following my every step.

  When I finally reach the top, we’re on a large leaf similar to the one I shared with Lucas, only slightly bigger. Sema is standing in the middle staring out, hands moving slowly before her. I watch as the giant trees around her bend to her will. Slowly, leaves the same size as the one we’re standing on, pull in to make a large platform as big as a high school gym. Above us, the same thing is happening, providing us coverage from the rain. With more waving of her hands, the leaves seamed themselves to each other to provide a smooth surface.

  Next, she whistles gently and I hear the sound soft clapping. Thousands, if not more, large butterflies the size of giant eagles flying gently toward us from all directions. They gather in a circle creating a wall of brilliant colors around the platform. I steady myself as the wind generated by the flapping clears all the rainwater from both the leafy surface and its ceiling. Once done, as quickly as they appear, they fly away like sprinkles of watercolor drops, the rain not affecting their flight. I thrill at the wonder of such beauty, of these large creatures full of colors that I don’t believe exist in my realm.

  Sema turns slightly to me, a smile on her face and a look of cockiness in her eyes. I laugh at the old woman and go to her when she beckons me forward.

  “The first thing you should know, Lily, is that this world belongs to you.” I nod my head thinking of Lucas. He said the same thing, but he said it belong not only to me, but to Tharin as well. “And, Tharin, of course,” Sema finishes as if reading my mind.

  Taking my hand, she leads me to the center of the platform and turns me so I am facing away from the makeshift stairs. Before me and beyond our canopy, the trees part to allow the rain to fall unimpeded.

  From behind me, Sema says softly, “Close your eyes, Lily. I want you to feel the coolness on your skin, the moisture in the air and the breeze spreading it all over you. I want you to imagine being wrapped in it, as if wearing the air and the moisture like a second skin. I want you to feel what you cannot see, but know that it’s there.”

  I close my eyes and tilt my head upward, trying to catch the breeze as the cool moisture settles on me, around me and through me. Sema’s voice comes again, even softer than before and hollow as if from a distance, “Listen, Lily. Listen to what the trees are saying about you, what the rain is singing about you and how the energy of the forest feels about you.”

  I am no longer standing on solid flooring, nor is there a leafy canopy above me. I feel weightless and free. The sense of flight captures me prisoner and time has lost its meaning. I listen for the songs of the mountains that I heard on my journey here, only to hear a different song. A soft vibration of notes, of rhythm and of cadence slips quietly, subtly and freely through me. I feel the rain dance about me in quiet serenity, and the breeze softly echoing with the subtlety of delicate fingers strumming a harp. I open my eyes and I laugh as nature herself waltzed me before the trees of Velesi. I hug myself as the rain washes away my sorrow, my chains, my old life and all around me rejoices – and I rejoice with it.

  Wanting to share it with her, I turn to look for Sema and find that she’s watching me with wonder and awe. And that’s when I realize I am several yards away from the platform and a few feet above her. I’m startled to find myself hanging with nothing to hold on to or anything holding on to me.

  Fear suddenly grips me. The rain, no longer gentle, continues its downpour and with it, I drop like a rock. I gasp, desperately reaching out to Sema, but I’m falling too fast. I quickly drop past her and the platform on my way down. I glance over my shoulder behind me and I still can’t see the ground. My hands are flailing, trying to catch anything to stop my fall, but everything is wet and slippery. I think of the small branch that helped me earlier and picture it in my mind. I look upward and see the same branch spearing toward me, and just when it’s about to reach me, it reaches its limit and comes to a sudden stop. I try to stretch upward for it at the same time it strains to pull downward to me. Falling farther away from the small branch, it finally dawns on me that I’m about to crash and die. Not knowing what else to do but let the panic overtake me, I open my mouth to scream, when I suddenly hit a net of tightly woven vines…hard. The wind knocked out of me, I grab the vines, arms spread out and I hang on for dear life. It takes me a moment to trust that I’m still alive.

  From a distance above me I hear Sema call out, “Lily? Are you all right?’

  I take a second to catch my breath while trying not to drown in the downpour. I swallow hard and then call back at the top of my lungs, “What the hell! You crazy old woman! Are you trying to kill me?”

  I wait for her to reply, but all I hear is the loud beating of my heart, the harsh heaving of my chest trying to get air into my lungs, and the continuous sound of rain. It takes another second before I hear both Sema and Ziri laughing uncontrollably. I shake my head promising the first chance I get…I’m going to kill them both.

  Trying to keep her voice steady and doing a lousy job of it, Sema calls out again, “Don’t move, Lily. Ziri will be down to get you. And, um, I think that will be all for our lesson today.” She continue
s to laugh as she moves away from the edge of the platform. Not that I can see her leave, but because the sound of her laughter fades as she moves away.

  I lay on the vines trying to catch my breath, afraid to let go. The trees have moved back to their original position cutting off a large portion of the downpour. I close my eyes against the rain but even it feels as if it’s laughing at me. In fact, the whole forest seems to be laughing at me. “Whatever,” I whisper and then bust out laughing myself. I laugh as the fear and excitement of it all eases out of me. It rains in San Diego, but nothing like this. The rain here feels so clean, so crisp…and there’s so much of it. I love it.

  The vine shakes and I know Ziri is here to get me down. I turn my head toward him smiling, feeling completely happy. The smile dies on my face instantly. On the net with me is not Ziri, but some sort of creature that sends a frightening chill through me. I lift my head, trying to see through the rain, making sure I’m not seeing things.

  Before me is what I think is a man. He’s covered with leaves, mud, loose tree bark and he has twigs sticking out everywhere. I can’t tell if he’s naked or not due to the amount of debris covering him. He’s short, a little over four-feet, stocky and hairy. His head is covered with matted, coarse brownish red hair with a full beard. His brows are so thick and long, I can’t tell where they begin and where his hair ends. The soil on his face seems to defy the rain and doesn’t wash off. Even his bare feet have long matted, coarse hair growing from them, including his toes. Speaking of his toes, I wish I didn’t look at them. His toenails are long, ragged and black making them look like talons. And then there are his eyes – wild and intent…and they were locked on me.

  I sit up slowly afraid to make any sudden moves. The vine of the net is large, but wet and slippery, making it difficult for me to scoot farther away from the man-beast. He suddenly moves his head from side to side like a snake seeking his prey. Is he blind? And that’s when his ears sticking out from under his coarse hair twitch. He sniffs the air, trying to locate my scent, and when he does he sneers at me. Another chill runs through me and I look about for Ziri. I try to call his name, but when I take a breath, the man-beast focuses on me suddenly and without hesitation…he charges.