The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  “I don’t know, I guess she’s okay,” starts Julia a little reluctantly as she traces a pattern on the pillow top.

  “What?” I ask again, reaching over and grabbing her arm.

  She looks up, finally making a decision. “When I first met her I didn’t want anything to do with her. I mean, I seriously wanted to beat the crap out of her and Tharin. But then she told me that she lost someone she loved recently and she knew what I was going through. And I thought she really meant it. But,” she stops, shaking her head disappointedly, “it was just a lie, for Tharin’s sake.”

  I lean in, “What do you mean for Tharin’s sake?”

  She shrugs, “It was all an act. As soon as she got me away from Tharin, she passed me on to Dalim, her second in command, an older guy. Honestly, I think he should be captain. Anyway, she left me alone with this strange elf who looked like he could break my neck with just his stare alone. And when I was training, she was only interested when she knew Tharin or Tolan would be around.”

  I thought I wanted to hear that Kalis wasn’t as perfect as I made her out to be, but instead I feel sort of sorry for her. It’s bad enough that Tharin hasn’t been honest with her, but I think he’s overestimating the fact that they’re friends.

  “When I realized what she was doing, all I wanted to do was train harder so I could kick her ass,” continues Julia with a frown.

  “You mean you can’t take her now?” I ask jokingly.

  She shakes her head, “Lily, she’s the fricking captain of the guards. She didn’t get to be captain by her looks alone…these guys are dead serious about the whole warrior thing. They just don’t mess around, and even if I practice every day for the next year, Kalis would still kick my ass. She’s been training since before she could even walk.”

  I laugh at her exaggeration of Kalis’ fighting abilities. “How do you know this? Did she tell you?”

  “No, Dalim did, and I’ve seen her work out with five opponents at once. And, no, they didn’t take it easy on her. As for Dalim, at first he was kind of standoffish with me, but as I got more serious about the training, the more he opened up. He’s about the only one I talk to since I’ve been here. All the others keep their distance.”

  I give her a knowing smile, “I bet Tolan has something to do with that.” She rolls her eyes and falls back onto the bed. “What’s wrong with you? I thought you were madly in love with him?” I ask confused by her reaction at the mention of Tolan.

  She shrugs her shoulders, staring at the ceiling. “What do I know of love, Lily? The first guy who comes along and kisses me and I’m completely in love with him? Who does that?”

  The room suddenly becomes quiet and I stare at my friend, not sure what to say. I know what I witnessed between them was real, it had to be. “Julia, are you blaming Tolan for keeping the fact that I was still alive from you? You heard Tharin and Ka, he had no choice.”

  “Life is all about choices, Lily.” She turns to look at me, “Isn’t that what Marilyn’s been telling us all these years? He had a choice. He could have defied Tharin and Ka, but he chose to go along with them. I mean,” she sits up frustrated. “I mean…I get it. They did it to protect you. It’s just that he could have trusted me enough to tell me.”

  I slowly sit up, thinking for a minute before saying, “No. That has nothing to do with why you’re ignoring him… why you’re still ignoring him. You just found out about it tonight, but according to Tharin you’ve been pushing Tolan away since before you reached the tower.” I turn to her, placing my hand on her back. “Tell me what’s wrong. Are you saying you no longer love him?”

  She turns to me looking as if she’s about to break, “I do…with all my heart, Lily.”

  I catch the tear as it rolls down her cheek with my thumb, wiping it away and then hug her to me. I gently push her back so I can see her face, “Tell me, Jules.”

  “When I heard that you died, I went into a walking-coma kind of trance. I could hear and see what was going on around me, but it just didn’t register; kind of like the time when my mom disappeared. I just locked myself away and took a time out from…well, everything and everyone.” She takes my hand, squeezing it. “Anyway, we ended up at that healer’s place. You know, the one Tharin and Tolan mentioned at the doorway to Velesi. Her name’s Mili.” I nod as I recall the conversation regarding the healer. “She helped bring me back to reality by just talking to me. And while she talked, something strange happened…it was like I was hearing my mom’s voice. She somehow reached inside me and used the one thing she found that would bring me back. She stayed with me all night just talking about anything I wanted to talk about. Then we talked about Tolan.”

  She throws her head back, trying to keep the tears at bay, “Did you know, Lily, that if Tolan stays with me he would have to give up his right to the throne if Tharin decides to step down? We all know Tharin wouldn’t, but just the fact that being with me would deny Tolan that right, the right to rule his clan, his people, is a bit much to take in. And he would give it all up for me, Lily.” Shaking her head she looks at me with such sadness I am at a loss on how to comfort her. She sniffs and swipes at her nose with the back of her hand, letting the tears fall. “Not only that, but if he decides to stay with me he could be banished. How can I let that happen? To be sent away from all that he loves and cares about, the only home he’s ever known? I know what it feels like to lose so much and have something, anything that belongs to you taken away. I can’t let it happen to him, Lil. I just can’t.”

  “And so you’ve been purposely pushing him away.” She nods while wiping at her cheeks with both hands. “And he doesn’t have a clue that you know?” She shakes her head no and remains quiet. “I think you should tell him that you know.”

  Julia continues to shake her head, “No, Lily.”

  “No? Why? You deserve to be happy, Jules, and damn it, you’re happy when you’re with him.”

  “What do I know about happiness? In fact, what do you know? You just recently got in a relationship, and I know you’re scared as hell, Lil. Dying on me for the last few weeks doesn’t change you that much.”

  I give her a hard look, not appreciating having the obvious called out like that. “Look you, you fell in love with an elf within a matter of days and you’re giving me advice about happiness?”

  Julia gives a little laugh, “That’s my point, I don’t know anything. Maybe what I’m feeling is that Stockholm syndrome where I fall for my kidnapper or something.”

  “Um…yeah, I was kidnapped and not by Tharin or Tolan, which means you weren’t kidnapped by them, either. Listen, I think the whole ‘losing his place in line for the throne’ thing is messing with your head. You need to look beyond that and see how much you love him. You just said so a minute ago.”

  “I know, I know,” she rushes on frustrated. “I know I feel for him and maybe it’s just gratitude and not really love. He’s the first guy who’s ever been nice to me, who didn’t look at me with pity and repulsion at the same time. The first to hear me, to see me and…and I was just really thankful for the attention and maybe that’s all it really was.”

  I stare at her for moment and finally making up my mind, I reach over taking her hands again. “I’ll talk to Tharin. I’m sure he knows what to do and he’ll make it right.”

  “No, Lily. I don’t want Tolan to know, which means I don’t want Tharin to know. I’ve made up my mind. After the wedding I’m going home.”

  “Go home? To what, who? Chris and Frank? You might as well throw yourself out the window and save them the trouble of killing you.” I watch her determined face and resort to a ploy I used to use when we were younger…begging. “Please, please, Julia. Just let me talk to Tharin, I know he can help.”

  She gets up and walks toward the far corner where the sound of running water can be heard. That must be where the waterfall shower is located. Julia turns to me, “What’s in here?” I’ve lost her. She’s done talking and I know it would be useless to cont
inue arguing with her.

  I get up and walk over to her, taking her by the hand. We round a wall that’s camouflaged by the wall behind it to only stop in our tracks. Before us isn’t a small shower area like that of the sisters’ room but a small lagoon with the water stopping inches from where we’re standing. The walls seem to disappear as large ferns and banana trees dominate the borders of the water pool, while miniature kavi trees cover the background as mist moves through them in a ghostly manner. I feel like I’m transported back to the old thela I shared with Sema and Ziri. Our eyes move upward to the ceiling to see the glass dome keeping out the rain. Without thinking, I take a step forward to get a better look and the dome begins to shimmer and vibrate. Within seconds, the rain pours through, falling gently on to a stone ledge platform with scattered stone and pebbled seating – a natural shower from the heavens.

  Julia takes a step back, leaning to look around the camouflaged wall and then returning to stare at the “bathroom” before us. I think about that for a minute before looking at Julia asking, “Where’s the toilet?”

  We swam in the pool before making our way to ledge. There we found a small alcove with bath soap, oils, perfume and dark towels that look like tree bark within the rocky wall. With the towels are green bark-looking robes, but when we put them on, they feel like silk against our skin. Farther back is a smaller private shower area which Julia used while I took advantage of the rainfall that reminded me of my training in the rain-belted kavi forest. I loved it.

  After showering, we face our first dilemma. We didn’t know how to turn off the rain, or close the dome ceiling. It was soon remedied when Julia sat on one of the rocky benches. The ceiling closes, cutting off the natural downpour and we watch in awe when the lagoon area starts to drain. As the water descends, round dark rocks and a pebble footpad lift from the bottom allowing us to walk back to the entrance nice and dry.

  We enter back into the bedroom area to find two long beautiful nightgowns on the bed. Julia automatically goes to the longer of the two, a beautiful soft rose-colored piece. She lifts it to her shoulder twisting back and forth to let the skirt swirl at her feet. I lift the muted gold-colored one, displaying it before me, admiring the beauty in its simplicity. We quickly remove our robes and put the dresses on. We look down at ourselves before looking at each other appreciating how the gowns makes us look older, more sophisticated…more like women. We then twirled around in the nightgowns like little girls, never having worn anything like them.

  Julia stops twirling and looks at me saying, “These are nightgowns right? We sleep in these?”

  I nod giving her a smile, feeling clean and fresh for the very first time since coming through the doorway with Ziri. I move to the bed and Julia does a running leap to land right in the middle, facedown. I laugh at her as I climb on. “Move over,” I say nudging at her side.

  She lifts her head slightly without looking at me, “No. Go find somewhere else to sleep, I’m taking over the bed.”

  “No you’re not. This is a huge bed and you can be comfortable on your own side,” I say as I shove at her again. She turns over on her back, stretching her arms above her as I move the pillows around trying to adjust myself so that my gown doesn’t get caught under me. And for a moment we say nothing, just looking up at the leafy ceiling. All of a sudden, the branches above shake and a thick blanket of leaves drops on us. We both scream and laugh as we dig ourselves from underneath. We sit up, staring at each other with our mouths open, and then fall back pulling the foliage comforter over us.

  For the first time since arriving in Velesi I slept soundly. Until in the middle of the night a serpent came to call on me.

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Thirty

  ~ Lily ~

  When she came to me I was in a deep sleep. At first, I thought it was Julia, but the mystery voice was soft and gentle, nothing like the loud snoring coming from beside me.

  “Lilianethia, wake daughter of Senestra,” calls the distant voice softly.

  My eyes fly open, my heart in my throat and I grip at my pillow. I slowly peek over the leafy comforter, scanning the dark room, but I don’t see anything or anyone. I move closer to Julia, trying not to make too much movement and shake her arm. She grumbles in her sleep, abruptly cutting off her snoring and she turns her back to me. Seconds later the snoring starts again. I nudge at her back, but the snoring continues. “Julia!” I whisper harshly as I nudge her harder.

  “Ugh…Lily, go to sleep,” she grumbles sleepily.

  “Wake up! Someone’s in the room with us.” Julia comes instantly awake. I look at her bare chest surprised to see her naked, asking, “Where’s your gown?”

  She whispers back over her shoulder, not bothering to cover herself. “It kept getting caught up under me so I took it off,” she answers as she continues to scan the dark room. “Screw this,” she mutters as she throws the cover off and quickly makes her way to her bag near the door. I jump out of the bed too, going for my own bag when the voice comes again, “Lilianethia, come to me.”

  “Like hell she is,” says Julia out loud. I look her way, seeing that she already has her pants on and is now quickly slipping her top over her head. She grabs her boot and hops on one leg as she puts it on. All the while, I’m standing like an idiot watching her. A panswa flickers on and floats to us giving enough light, but by now Julia is completely dressed. She looks over at me, saying “Lily, what the hell? Hurry up and get dressed. I’ll keep an eye out for whoever the creepy voice belongs to.”

  Suddenly, the doors burst open causing both Julia and me to drop to low crouches, a blade as big as one of Alorn’s appears in Julia’s hand. Where the hell did she get that? Milina comes in with her own blades at the ready, followed by Glynnis. They’re both dressed and ready for battle. How are they able to get dressed so quickly? Fear tosses out any shyness I may have about dressing in front of the sisters. Like Julia, they stand alert in a circle, shielding me from the voice.

  Julia turns slightly toward Milina, “Did you hear the voice, too?” Milina nods, not saying a word but keeping her eyes on the shadowed corners. “Damn it,” says Julia under her breath and then finally out loud, “Lights.”

  All the panswas in the rooms light up, chasing the shadows away. I’m now fully dressed and I step between Julia and Milina. “Who’s there?” I call out. No answer. “What do you want? Why won’t you show yourself?”

  “Shhh, child…you will upset her. Tell your ladies to stand down.” The woman in my head whispers as if the others would hear her. Stand down? I look at each of the girls with me and realize that all of them, including Julia, are ready to fight – to protect me. A sense of pride comes over me.

  Julia glances my way, giving me a wary look. “What’s wrong? Do you hear something?”

  I know the woman wants me to keep her to myself for now, so I shake my head at Julia. “No, just thinking.” God, I hate lying to her.

  “Now what?” I ask the woman. Okay, I can’t keep calling her “the woman in my head.” “I’m sorry I didn’t ask before, but what’s your name?” Silence. “Hello?”

  Julia moves to stand just behind me leaning forward and whispers, “What are you doing? Is someone here?”

  I throw her a look and she backs up, hands up as if warding off any trouble. “Hello? What kind of game are you playing? Was that you who woke us?”

  “No, Lily, it was not me, but I do know who the voice belongs to. But first, you must leave your ladies in arms behind. She has called Phoris to help you this night. He is waiting for you now near the city gates.”

  “Julia goes with me,” I say determinedly.

  Again silence, then, “All right, Lily, if that is what you want.”

  I sigh, understanding my role as princess a bit clearer each day. I turn to face Milina, “I want you to stay here and don’t leave until I get back. That goes for you, too,” I tell Glynnis. Milina moves to protest, but I raise my hand at her and she stops immediately. “Don’t worry, Milina. J
ulia will be with me.” Milina looks at Julia sizing her up for the millionth time since their first meeting. She gives me a reluctant look, obviously disappointed, “Yes, my princess.”

  I walk up to her and put my hand on her shoulder the way Tharin does with the others when they weren’t pleased with his orders. “I’ll be back. We’re connected, Milina, and if anything goes wrong I will call for you. Besides, Cessa is always with me.” This seems to appease her a bit and she bows her head, resigning to my wishes. I walk over to Julia who’s been waiting patiently. She gives me a raised brow and then moves to follow me when I head toward the door.

  We make our way out of the room, past the living area and finally out to the hallway. After the doors to the suite close, we pause to look at each other. Whispering, I say, “You know, they have more experience than we do and they have probably killed people.”

  Julia purses her lips, nodding thoughtfully. She looks up at me saying, “You might be right, but I’m not going back in there and admitting it to them. We can do this, Lily. Obviously, you think we can or we wouldn’t be standing out here with them in there.”

  I squint at her purposely, “When did you become a badass?”

  “The day you died. Come on.”

  She grabs my hand and we quickly, but quietly, make our way down the hall. I trust Julia to find our way to the main gates as a mixture of excitement and fear runs through me. When the hall panswas brighten as we near, I mentally dim them without effort. We make it to the back of the foyer and Julia takes me down a flight of stairs like the one Ka used to take us to the war room last night. After what seems like hours of stairways and passing numerous doors at each level, we finally make it to the bottom floor. However, by the time we make it to the bottom, we’re winded and we sit on the last step to catch our breath.