The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  I find myself standing in a living space that’s nothing like his mother’s. Here the furniture is simple, elegantly solid and very sparse. The walls are also made of exotic wood, at least from what I can see in the dark. There are long sideboards along two of the walls, and near them I notice Tharin’s boots. Good, I have the right suite. The far wall is stenciled with what looks like the tree I saw in the war room, only it’s not in a picture frame but painted right onto the wall. I move farther in and look down a short hallway that consists of two doors facing each other – spare rooms. I ignore these and head for the large double doors that lead to the master bedroom.

  I find myself standing in the dark room and the feeling that I shouldn’t be here comes over me. Like the front rooms, the bedroom is sparse with only a large dresser, the huge bed in the middle of the room and a life-sized portrait of a woman. I make my way to the painting and stand close to have a better look. The woman is beyond breathlessly beautiful. The features are there and so are the green eyes, full of life, love and a sense of peace – Tharin and Tolan’s mother. Tall and elegant in what looks like a gold gown and on top of her head is a delicate gold crown with diamonds interlaced in gold oak leaves. In her arm is a mini-me of herself, all smiles. The other, identical to the young boy she’s holding, stands at her side holding her hand. His young face is so serious I chuckle quietly knowing instantly who he is.

  I turn when I hear Tharin moan and I smile at how I would even recognize him even in the dark. I move toward the bed and the closer I get to him the more of him I see. One muscular bare leg is on top of his sheets. The sheets barely cover of him and if he moves in a certain way he will be fully exposed. His arm is at his side and I watch the black panther dance when his muscles ripple and flex as he moves. He reaches for his head as he tries to sit up, exposing his ribs, chest and a flat, hard stomach I remember too well from the clearing. And there’s so much more…so much more that I’m almost afraid to move in closer. Almost.

  I take a step as he sleepily tries to rise, still holding his head as if to shake off the cobwebs. I feel excited and happy to see him only to jerk to a sudden stop mid-step. “Kalis,” he calls out at the same time reaching out for something or someone. Nothing can explain what I’m feeling at this moment and nothing can feel worse. But I’ve been wrong before. Another hand, smaller and more feminine, moves up along his arm until it reaches and intertwines fingers with his. Coming forward to lay her head on his bare shoulder is Kalis, hair mussed and rumpled, and she’s obviously as naked as he is. Sleepily she calls his name, “Tharin.”

  I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe. Someone please help me breathe. As if noticing her for the first time, Tharin moves away from her sleepily, dropping his exposed leg to the floor as if to get up. He turns away from her and turns to face me, freezing in place. His eyes wide with shock, his mouth drops open and it’s as if time has come to a standstill. Now wide-awake, he looks down at his nudeness and grabs the sheets to cover himself. He then looks back at Kalis who reaches for him again only to have him push her away. He turns to me stunned and shaking his head in denial stumbling toward me, “No…it’s not what you –”

  I don’t let him finish. I run toward the front rooms and I almost make it to the suite doors when Tharin appears in front of me now dressed in what looks like loose sweat shorts. His hands are up trying to keep me from leaving, but it’s too much for me as the air I was trying to catch earlier is now slamming down my throat, forcing me to take it in gulps. I can feel the hot tears threatening to spill over. I try to keep my eyes on anything but him. Damn it. How do I disappear and return to my own room? I can’t remember and I can’t think, can’t concentrate.

  “Lily…please…it’s not what you think…this isn’t real…”

  This isn’t real? She looked pretty damn real to me and so does he in all his goddamn nakedness. Anger…no, a rage, a deep angry rage from inside burns through me and I throw out my hand. Tharin is thrown back, hitting the door with the force of my emotions, slamming him against it. He gathers himself quickly and his own hands come up. A force much stronger than mine catches my next attack, and the next and the next and every one thereafter. He takes slow steps toward me brushing off everything and anything I throw at him. I can feel my energy draining until I’m finally exhausted and he’s standing directly in front of me, his face hard but calm. Suddenly, Tharin drops heavily to his knees and falls unconscious at my feet. Panic takes over and fear grips at my heart. Oh God…I killed him!

  “Lily,” calls Tharin to the right of me now in the drifting state. I gasp with relief and I don’t know whether to start hauling more energy blast or rush into his arms and hold him for dear life. Anger won over and I rush at him aiming to hit him across the face. He easily catches my wrists and pulls me to him, holding on tight.

  “Tharin?” Her voice is soft, slightly confused and seductively sleepy. Kalis calls for him from the bedroom doors. I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to see her naked and I turn my head away. “Tharin!” she yells, probably noticing for the first time his body lying on the floor. I feel Tharin lift his arm and send a burst of energy that knocks Kalis back into the room and I hear the double doors slam shut. For a moment, all is quiet.

  “Lily,” he says softly, but I shake my head at him and cover my ears refusing to listen. I shrug off his arms and step back, turning away, not wanting to look at him. Instead, I face his prone body on the floor. I quickly look away, setting my eyes on the door and without waiting, I move toward it. “Lily, please…just…” I’m outside of the suites and I finally remember that all I need to do is think of my body and I’ll be there.

  I sit up with a knife in my chest. This pain…this is the pain…the one the girls in the bathroom cry over and want to kick that “bitch’s” ass; the pain that causes the heroine in every rom-com movie to run away to distant, foreign countries; this is the pain that destroys love, trust and leaves you falling in a pit with no bottom. What I thought this pain was before was only a test drive for the real deal.

  I turn toward the doors when they open on their own. Tharin. I jump out of the bed, refusing to go into the drifting…why? What more can be said? The bastard was caught red-handed and then he continues to treat me like a kid by saying it’s not real? Yeah, that’s it…it’s all my goddamn imagination.

  “Leave me alone, Tharin. I need to rest for the big event tomorrow. You know the whole damn Seating thing to save your damn realm. You got what you wanted, I’m here and I’ll stick to my promise. But after all this is over I never want to see your ugly, pointy eared face ever again you…you ho!”

  I jump when a jewelry box goes flying across the room smashing into the wall. I grab my chest, actually frightened by his anger. I look at the contents from the box lying all over the floor, the box smashed into pieces. My anger returns and looking up I point at the shattered pieces, fuming through clenched teeth, “That was your mother’s, you idiot. Go throw your tantrum with your warrior goddess lying naked in your bed.”

  I stand breathing hard and I can almost feel him breathing hard, too, and then it stops. A moment later the doors move slowly to close and the room is empty. I know he’s gone because I can feel it.

  I refuse to cry over him. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all of this. I’ve lost so much already…so much. I hate him, hate him, hate him. I lost my parents, my brother, my aunt and uncle, Marilyn and Julia. But I didn’t lose him…no, I have to actually have him in the first place to lose his loser-ass. He was never mine to begin with and vice versa. And that will never happen – ever.

  I nearly jump when I hear her voice from behind me, “My princess, are you all right?”

  I turn to find Milina in her golden form standing near the bed. I stand staring at her dumbfounded, not knowing what to say to her. I nod, overcome with the need to be alone, but I don’t want to be left alone. Whatever courage I was feeling a minute ago fell to the side and now I’m emotionally drained, exhausted. When next I lo
ok up, Milina is standing in front of me, trying to get me to look at her. She puts her arms around my shoulder and walks me to the bed. As we sit, she asks, “Who has done this to you, Princess?”

  I sigh, “Milina…please don’t call me that. I don’t like it. Lily, just Lily.”

  “Yes, my princess. I mean, Lily.” She gives me a small smile waiting for me to answer her.

  “It’s nothing. He’s, he’s…” I reply quietly, not able to finish.

  “Give me his name, Lily, and I shall take care of it for you.”

  “Tharin.”

  She sits back, a little unsure as she says, “Oh. Well, I can’t really slit the throat of the prince, Lily. Perhaps someone else?”

  I throw her a glance and I chuckle at her sincerity. Shaking my head, I said “No.” Kalis did pop in my head, but I truly believe Milina would follow through with her threat so I keep the thought to myself. I give her a curious look asking, “You really would slit someone’s throat?”

  She nods casually, “Yes, just give me the word and consider the deed done. That is, as long it’s not your betrothed or any immediate relation to him…you know, his brother or the king.”

  “The deed?” I shake my head again. I want to be distracted, to think and talk about anything else but what I just witnessed. “This whole place is not what I expected. I mean, the elves in The Lord of Rings movies are kind and beautiful and honorable, but the ones here are lying cheats who aren’t even good looking, just ugly and…and all ears.”

  I realize Milina isn’t saying anything and when I turn to her, I find her watching me with a concerned look on her face. I sigh, “Sorry. I mean…I just thought it was all…I don’t know what I thought.”

  Milina nods looking off in the distance. “I see. You assume that because we live in a different realm, we would be more enlightened, wiser and at peace with each other?” I blink at her then nod. “I’m sorry you are disappointed, Lily. But the truth is there is more dark here than light. Here, in the Oak Clan and a few others, the kings are good to their people and actually make an effort to meet their needs, no matter their race. Here, we are all Velesian. But there are a few, and recently the Willow Clan, that mistreat their people, ignoring their cries for justice and equality.”

  She gets off the bed and moves to sit on the floor to look up at me. She continues, “My sister and I were born to a family of twelve. Our older brothers and sisters were either sold or ran away never to be seen again. As for Glynnis and me, we were close in age when we were sold, we went as a package deal.” She smiles at me and shakes her head when I gasp in shock. “Slavery is all we knew until the day we were sent to follow Prince Tharin into the clearing, the day you freed us. We are of the Willow Clan, your clan. And we would like to see you take it back from the Black Prince…I’m sorry, Lily, I mean your brother.” She turns slightly red at her slip of tongue.

  “No, Milina, you’re right. He is the Black Prince, not my brother. A demon took over his body and now controls his words and action – that’s not my Lucas.”

  She gives me an arched look, “That explains a lot. When your brother first came home four years ago he gave us hope and we looked forward to a bright future. My sister and I hoped that we would be able to escape the life we knew and start anew. But nothing changed. In fact, it got worse. When my little girl, Plia, was taken, we despaired. And in trying to gain back her freedom, we stayed with the man who owns our papers, working to free my daughter.”

  I stand, shocked to hear that Milina is a mom…but she’s around my age. I walk up to Milina and sit in front of her. “I’m so sorry, Milina. I had no idea what you and Glynnis have been through. I guess I really don’t know much about the people here. Listening to you, my own problems seem petty.”

  “You have a purpose, Princess, we all know it, even if you don’t…yet. Would you like me to take you through the city once the Seating and coronation are over?”

  I give her a smile, “I would love that, yes. Maybe we can do it the day after. We’ll take Glynnis with us.”

  She smiles, nodding, “Yes, she would very much enjoy it.”

  I think my words through before asking, “What of Plia? Do you know where she is? Can you get her back?”

  She shakes her head, “They took her when she was three. They often told me how she was doing during the first year she was taken. It’s been four months now since we heard of her whereabouts. The man who we worked for, Molker, he only allows us news after we’ve completed a mission for him.” She looks over my face carefully and I guess she notes my distress over hearing about her daughter. She takes my hands and shakes them gently. “It’s all right, Lily. With Prince Tolan to be crown king of the Willow, maybe I will get my Plia back.”

  Again, I’m shocked. I know that Glynnis is a year older than me and Milina is a year older than she. I do the math quickly. Milina was only fifteen when she was pregnant Plia. Fifteen. I look her over and can’t imagine having a kid or having my life owned by someone else.

  “Isn’t there something you can do with your…you know, your new abilities?” I ask.

  She smiles again. “We are as we are because of you. We have been given a chance to do good with what we possess, but we have no special abilities.”

  I shake my head slowly, “I don’t even know how I did it.” I smile and shrug at her. She laughs and I feel the tension ease out of me.

  I spent the next two hours listening to Milina tell of life in the Velesi realm. She tells of the people of the Willow Clan, especially of those she grew up with in the Molker Guild. Even with all I’ve gone through in my own life, I will never know the level of hardship and pain that Milina and Glynnis lived. I feel humbled and small. There are moments of anger, sadness and happiness as she recreates her world in her own words. And in the end, she tells me what she’s shared is only a small part of what life is like in the Willow Clan. Without coming out and saying it, she looks for a promise, a promise to help her people, my people, to a better life…a life like that of the people of the Oak Clan.

  Once in bed, I’m in and out of sleep and every time I come out…I see Tharin. Each time that happens, I would repeat the oath for the Seating first in my head and then in a whisper so as not to wake Milina. She’s lying on the sofa near the doors leading out to the garden, eyes open and staring at the ceiling.

  The darkness above me begins to fade and each time I open my eyes, it gets lighter and lighter until I realize it’s already morning. The oath seems to run on automatic pilot now, running on its own in the background of my mind. And it continues to play as the vision of Kalis’ hand moving along Tharin’s arm replays over and over again. And every time I think I’m going to lose it, I feel Tharin taking that same arm and pull me close to him. Despite hating myself for even dreaming of him in such a way, it does comfort me. That and I’ve decided if I’m going to be his wife, I’m going to make him miserable as hell. As I drift off I actually smile, looking forward to making my future husband regret he ever met me.

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  ~ Tharin ~

  The instant I’m back into my body, I’m on my feet and rush at the bedroom doors slamming against it hard, knocking them off their hinges. It is seldom that I use my abilities with energy when I’m in a state of fury, but betrayed by one I considered a friend, a loved one, is beyond all my reasoning.

  The instant I enter, all panswas in the room light up. I stand, chest heaving, searching for Kalis and when I don’t see her, I let go an energy force that slams the bed upward hitting the dome ceiling, breaking the headboard from the force behind it. I let the bed drop, ignoring it as it crashes to the floor, splintering all four posts. Next, I aim at the closet and everything in it flies out, but no Kalis. I step forward to face the shower area and with another wave of my hand the rainwater gushes out in a wave and floods the room, but still no Kalis. I hammer down the urge to roar in frustration and instead crush the dresser down the middle with the force of my will. />
  I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself enough to reach out for Tolan but discover he’s nowhere to be found in the city. He must have already left for the Willow Clan with Ziri. Damn. I reach out for my cousins, and then walk out of the room and head to one of the spare rooms to look for some dry clothes. Still angry, I hit the walls as I pass.

  Why Kalis? Have I hurt you that deeply you would betray me in this way? Are you working for Eathos? Was that Eathos who helped you drag, me up here? Or was it Harlu? I take another deep breath as I enter the spare room. No…not Harlu, even though the voice sounded familiar, it wasn’t him.

  It takes me a minute to find some clothes and get dressed. As I pull a jersey over my head, I hear a low whistle from the front area.

  I walk in to find Phoris, Alorn and Mellis standing at the entrance to the master bedroom. They turn to me as I make my way to a chair, sit and pull a sock on. Alorn moves and takes the chair next to me, Mellis goes to the sofa and Phoris remains where he is. After looking at me, he turns back toward the bedroom and stops the rain in the shower areas as he pushes the water back.

  “What has happened?” asks Alorn, straight to the point.

  “Kalis,” I answer, yanking the second sock on.

  “Kalis?” questions Mellis with a puzzled look.

  “She drugged me, dragged me up here, stripped me of my clothes and then got into bed with me.”

  “Kalis? You’re saying Kalis did that?” This time it’s Alorn who questions me.

  I stop what I’m doing and stare at them angrily. “What’s the matter with you two? I said it was Kalis.”

  They look at each other, remaining quiet. It’s Phoris who speaks as he comes around to sit next to Mellis. “It couldn’t have been Kalis, Tharin,” says Phoris. “She was with us all night. In fact, we just left her and the others down at the hall after we got your call.”