The Drifting

by L. Filloon

  “Great. So even though I felt that I could’ve done something to help Phoris, I would’ve only been in the way. Even Tharin stayed with me until I told him to go because he knew I was helpless, as you say.”

  She gives me a curious look, but then looks as if putting a thought away. “That’s not what I’m saying.” She turns toward the trees, “Look at the trees, Lily. Do you know what their purpose is?”

  “Um…everyone knows what their purpose is. They take in carbon dioxide and produce oxygen in order for us to breathe,” I answer, shrugging.

  “No, Lily. They produce oxygen so the earth can breathe. Mother created the trees and plants so that she can breathe, so her First children and the beasts and birds and all the creatures before Sidhe and man were ever a thought in the Creator’s conscious can breathe. She was here first, before all else, she was here.”

  I think back to the clearing the first time Tharin took me there to return to his body. I remember when I opened myself to the trees to feed them back energy from Milina and Glynnis’ attack. I felt the weight of time and its passage when there was nothing…only her. I felt her ache of loneliness, her joy of her creation and the creations that came after her; I felt her pain of loss, tears of mourning from the wars of her First children, to their own realization of loss and truth. Truth that nothing is forever, not even her.

  “We are killing her, Lily. And saving Velesi is only a part of it.”

  “I don’t get it,” I say confused.

  “What did you think Tharin meant when he said we’re all connected?”

  I shrug, “That we share the same energy?”

  “No, we share the same earth. You’re in the Velesi realm, but where do you think this realm and Eirrell’s realm exists?”

  “I never really thought about it. All this time I just thought we were in a different dimension in space…you know, somewhere out in the universe.”

  She gives me an arched look, “What kind of education did you receive in Pathen?” I blink at her and she moves on, but not before giving me a look, “What you need to know is that if Eathos returns to Eirrell, he will destroy it after he destroys Velesi. He will then use the key to find his way to Malainisi, Nortinli, Omakei, Sutha and finally to Pathen. He will destroy every realm until he has killed Mother Earth and every living creature on every one of her plains. You can’t let them open the doorway…but you have to be there as if you’re going to.”

  “So, you want me to take them to the doorway, but you don’t want me to open the door?”

  “Yes, that’s correct.”

  “Are you going to share the reason why you want me to do that?”

  “You know of the story of Tileanith and her lover? The Sidhe with no name? You and Harlu are the last of his blood, but he will come to the aid of his queen. That’s why Ka needed you to be queen of the realm before taking you to the doorway. But you must remain a virgin or he won’t come. If you and Tharin should consummate your marriage, the Unnamed Sidhe will allow your mate to save you, either that or Tharin would have to be killed. But Tharin is very good at what he does and he has Alorn, Mellis and Phor…” She stops, realizing that Phoris is no longer with us. “They are very good, but they won’t be able to save you.”

  “Seriously, that’s how I’m known? As the ‘virgin queen’?”

  She smiles warmly. “I don’t know, I’m very proud of you.” She reaches over and moves a lock out of my face.

  I turn away, shaking my head. “I just want to know why? Why did they have to kill Phoris and his father? Why didn’t they go after Tharin or his dad? Or Ka, himself?” She gives me a troubling look and I hurry to correct myself. “I mean, I don’t want anyone to die, it’s just that Phoris was one of the kindest and sweetest people I knew. He was my friend…and I just want to know why?” My voice becomes high and I choke back the tears. She takes my hand and rubs it gently.

  “Because Madeas –” She hesitates before going on, “Madeas is the realm’s Summoner, the descendent of the original Summoner from the rendering. His line carried the secret to the location of the doorway to Eirrell. Once the location is found, you would then use the key to open the doorway.”

  “But why me? Why not a true Sidhe?” I interrupt, remembering Kalis’ words.

  Her face becomes serious as she says, “Although you have your father’s blood in you, you are a true Sidhe in the eyes of the healers…and of your mother’s. It’s the blood of the Unnamed Sidhe that is needed for the opening to Eirrell. You will be challenged and in danger, that’s when the Unnamed Sidhe would come to your aid. When he does, you must give him the key so that no one but a few will be able to enter Eirrell and the other realms.”

  “Only a few? Why not let everyone travel between realms?”

  “I don’t know…maybe corruption, the destruction of our world as we know it by outsiders who want to destroy our way of life? The realm of Pathen becomes aware of Velesi there would be war, lives needlessly jeopardized and taken. It won’t just happen to our realm, but the other realms, too.”

  I nod understanding, “So, I just need to get the key to the doorway, open, but don’t allow anyone to enter, including me. The Unnamed Sidhe will appear and I just hand him the key. He’ll take it and prevent the doorways to any of the realms from opening.” I think for a minute before continuing, “So…I really don’t need to marry, Tharin, then. Right? The realms would be saved and I can go home.”

  She shakes her head, “No, you must marry him. You have to be queen of Velesi to open the doorway. Not only that, but it’s a part of the treaty; to go against it would bring war among the clans. With the strongest clans united as one, it strengthens the throne of the Oak with the combined military force of both houses. Also, the Willow throne will not accept another ruler, leaving the seat up for all challengers. We knew, Thilthen and me, that you were the last of my line to the throne. We were also aware of the plans to have me assassinated to prevent the union between the clans.”

  “Wait, Sema told me they came for you but you were able to send me to safety before they took you. They weren’t there to kill you were they? They were there to kill me?”

  She places her hand on my cheek, a sad smile on her face, “No, not kill…to take as their own. But I would have died a thousand deaths for you. You are destined to marry Tharin, to become the realms queen. To do so means the Willow throne will be open and the king of the realm may ascend another from the royal bloodline to be the new ruler. It is the only way that the Unnamed Sidhe will allow it to happen. Tolan will make a great king, and Ziri his First Greaneth.”

  “That doesn’t make sense, what about Harlu. He’s your heir, too. Why won’t he be king?”

  “The throne won’t accept him. There is too much darkness, too much evil in your brother for the throne to accept him now. I knew it the day he was born. It broke my heart and although Lea’ith wanted him dead at the time, I stayed her hand. I couldn’t take a life that your father and I created out of love.” She bows her head, looking down at her hands as she twists them.

  “But now you wish you had,” it wasn’t a question but a fact. I can see it on her face along with the guilt of many lives lost because she allowed her son to live. I change the subject, knowing talking about Harlu hurts her. “What is this key you keep talking about?”

  She delicately clears her throat and smiles at me before continuing. “You gave the key to Julia, the Manui stone. You have to find her and take the key back. Only you and Tharin can take it from her. Otherwise, when Harlu finds out she has the key he will cut off her head to get it.”

  I sit up, startled to hear first that the Manui stone is the key and that Julia is in danger. “What do you mean cut off her head? Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I am. The Manui stone, the one Tharin gave you…that’s the key to the doorway of Eirrell. Actually, Tharin doesn’t know it, but it’s the key to all the realms. It belonged to Kalinest until he gave it to your betrothed. Now that you’re queen, Harlu will come
for you again, and when he discovers you don’t have the key, he will torture the location out of you. And when he does, he will go after Julia.”

  “I’ll never tell him,” I blurt out harshly.

  “But you will. You see, Harlu knows who your father is – or at least he thinks he does, and because of that he will torture an innocent in front of you until you give in. If that doesn’t work, he will go on to the next person you love…Marilyn, and eventually he will get to Julia.”

  “Why is he this way? How could someone be born evil?”

  “He was marked at the time of his birth by Eathos. Eathos is powerful and extremely dangerous. When he was banished to the UnderRealm by his brother, his hate twisted his soul and blackened his heart. It manifested to an evil like nothing seen before in Velesi and Eirrell alike. He overtook those in the UnderRealm who ruled before his arrival and bowed them to his will. His hatred of Kalinest nearly destroyed Eirrell and left Kalinest no other choice but to create Velesi and then seal Eirrell from us. Eathos left him no choice.”

  She looks around and with a wave of her hand she says, “All this was created by one Sidhe king and thirteen of his most faithful guards, the Ancients. But with Mili now gone and Nedleid, Kurm and Car’ithi also dead, there are only three left. And when the last one is gone, including Kalinest, this realm will be no more.”

  “Are you serious? If that’s the case, why am I here? Shouldn’t Tharin and his dad start evacuating the realm?”

  “To where, Lily? To Pathen?”

  “Well, why not? I mean, would it be so bad? There are humans here, why not just take everyone back to my realm if it means saving them?”

  “Do you believe that your government or any other government in Pathen would allow a species with the ability to manipulate energy in without going to war with each other to gain those abilities?” She shakes her head as she leans back, “I don’t think so. It would be the same with the other realms as well. You and Tharin will have some time to think about what to do when the time comes.”

  “How long?

  “For as long as Ka and the Ancients live.”

  Great, at their age, they could all drop dead tomorrow. Again changing the subject I ask, “Tell me who this Unnamed Sidhe is.”

  She turns to capture my gaze, “He will come to you if he believes you to be in mortal danger, and you will be at the opening. He will take out all challengers including Eathos, and will fight beside your husband, Tharin.”

  “Right, husband…but as long as he doesn’t sleep with me. A virgin queen of the realm of Velesi. Got it,” I say sarcastically, but change my tone when a look of pain crosses her face. “I’m sorry, it’s just that…well, you don’t need to worry about that. He loves someone else. I thought that he loved me, but it was only for the sake of the realm.”

  She tilts her head at me, giving me a crooked smile, “You believe that to be so?”

  I nod, “I caught him in bed with Kalis last night. And then tonight while holding Phoris, I…I was so devastated. Even though Mellis was holding me, it was Tharin who I needed. But when I looked up, he was walking away with Kalis. I called out to him, but he wrapped his around her…and just walked out.”

  After a moment’s thought she says, “Hmmm, you have much to learn, Lily, especially knowing when all is not what it seems. You’re so young and I know that you didn’t have the opportunity like most girls to learn about boys, or in Tharin’s case, a grown elf. Just because he is the future king of the realm and that he is a great warrior and leader doesn’t mean he can’t hurt. He feels the devastating pain over the loss of a cousin who was more like a brother he’s known all his life. He, too, would need comfort and solace in a warm embrace.”

  I suddenly wish I was with Tharin, to hold him close. “Then why didn’t he choose me? Why did he leave with her?”

  “Maybe you should ask him.”

  I shake my head, I’ve cried enough. Trying not to dwell on my self-pity where Tharin is concerned I change the subject again. “Why now? Why didn’t they tell me what’s really going on?”

  “It is as you say, Lily. They think of you as only a child, and it is up to you to prove them wrong. They have trained you to be physically stronger, to bring forth your natural abilities to work the energy around you. It is now your decision to take all that you’ve learned and become the queen I know you truly are. You are of the blood of the greatest healers of all realms. You are queen of the Willow and soon of the Oak and then of Velesi. It is time you grow up, my lovely Lily.”

  She takes my hand and pulls me up when she stands – so tall, so regal, so beautiful…my mom, the queen. She makes a fist, places it on her chest and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she offers forth her hand and in its palm are tiny diamond stars twinkling in the evening light. I make an “ah” sound and she takes the stars and places one on each of my ears. I don’t have pierced ears, but when I touch the earrings they are hanging from my earlobes, pierced in place.

  “They were your grandmother’s, passed on to her by her mother and by her mother, who received them from her grandmother, Tileanith. They were a gift from the Unnamed Sidhe. Wear them with pride, my love. They are your heritage, a reminder of who we are.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper, honored by the gift and truly touched.

  She places her hands on my shoulders, “Now, go get your betrothed and find your friend before anyone knows she has the key to Eirrell.”

  She reaches over and kisses my forehead as I think about what I need to do. As she turns to leave but I grab her hand. She turns to look at me and it feels strange when I address her, “Mom?” I guess it isn’t too strange as we both smile at the sound of the simple word. I breathe deeply before asking, “I need a favor.”

  ~ * ~

  Chapter Forty-One

  ~ Tharin ~

  Kalis led me to the Summer Garden, a favorite place of hers to spend our time away when we were once lovers. Even with the Garden being out in the open, I felt claustrophobic. In the past, having Kalis next to me soothed my rage, my anger, my frustration…whatever irritation it may have been at the time. Tonight, however, she seemed to be a part of irritation.

  “I’m sorry, Tharin,” she says softly as she wraps her arms around my waist, holding me close. Without thinking, my arms go around her shoulders, comforted by her warmth. “He was a great warrior, kind and beautiful.” She continues soothingly and I nod against her hair, feeling my emotions over Phoris’ death come over me. Suddenly, the need to be back in the hall with Phoris and Lily pulls at me. I gently push Kalis from me, but she resists, looking up at me. “No, Tharin. This is where you belong, here with me. I know you’re obligated to the treaty…to marry the new queen, but I also know deep down you love me. If you could just see me, see me as you used to.”

  Kalis leans up at the same time she wraps her arms around my neck bringing her lips to mine. She kisses me slowly, seductively and for a moment I’m lost in her tenderness, in the familiarity of her touch. The kiss turns desperate and begins to heat up when Lily’s face appears in my mind, pulling me away from her. Kalis lays her head on my chest as I catch my breath, remembering who I’m holding. What the hell am I doing? I know that Phoris’ death has knocked the wind out of me, but I should have more control than this. Kalis’ kiss took me back to a safe past, but Lily’s image brought me back to the here and now. Damn it, I’m holding the wrong girl.

  I place my hands on Kalis’ shoulders, pushing her gently from me. I can see the desperation in her eyes, desperate to make things the same between us once again. I shake my head, “I’m sorry. I need to be with Lily.”

  She grabs me, stopping me from leaving. “You can’t tell me what happened last night wasn’t real.”

  I let my arms drop to my side, stunned by what she just said. “Then it was you.”

  She nods, confused. “Of course it was me. But Tharin, you didn’t need to drug me to have me in your bed. I would have come willingly, you know that. I’m not quite
sure what happened when we woke, but I figured you pushed me back in the room so that we weren’t found out. I knew then that you were in your drifting state and were only trying to protect me. I left as soon as I was dressed.”

  I stare down at her, trying to make sense of her version of last night’s event. So she was used – to a point. How else to make it real when Lily discovered us?

  I place a hand on Kalis’ cheek and she snuggles her face against it warmly. She stops when I say, “I’m sorry…it wasn’t real. I was drugged, too, and we were placed in my bed for Lily’s sake. I had nothing to do with it.”

  I left her standing in the garden alone, unable to humiliate her any longer by witnessing her pain and frustration.

  I find my father and uncle Colsea alone in the hall with Ka. The bodies have been removed, including Madeas and Phoris. I was hoping Lily would be here, but I know she’s probably back in her suites, alone.

  I make it a mental note to go straight to her when I am done seeing to my father and uncle. I call out to Alorn and Mellis with no success and decide to leave them alone for now. They will find me when they are ready and have dealt with Phoris’ death in their own ways. Phoris. I catch at my emotions as they threaten to escape from within. I make my way to where the three elders sit quietly, my father and uncle comforting the old man who I called Ka, but in actuality is my blood and king, Kalinest. I should have known, all the signs were there, I was just looking at the wrong ones.

  They had gathered in a small circle and I grab a chair as I make my way to join them. I place the chair next to my father, looking at each face. Colsea, Mellis’ father, nods solemnly at me in greeting and my father, eyes red with crying, reaches over and takes my hand in a hard grip. “We have sent word to your aunt,” says my uncle. “She will be here tomorrow. Be sure Alorn is here to greet his mother – she will need his strength. Tolan and Ziri will also be here in the morning. They would have been here late tonight, but they still have matters to take care of before leaving the Willow.”