I continued to stare at the dagger, knowing that this was the weapon that killed Tawney. This was the one that caused the blood to rush into his lungs and made his last moment's painful ones. It was just a weapon, not the killer. The blade didn't push itself into his flesh. But yet I could not touch it. I could not stand to see it.
Reading the expressions on my face, Axel slowly nodded and twirled the dagger back into his palm and pushed it into a slot on his belt, "I will hold it for you then. For when you are ready."
I gave him a faint nod, unsure of why or when I would be ready to hold that knife.
"What did you find out?" Volorn demanded.
"They were sent to obtain the pendant by Etha." Axel grimly replied.
Volorn's eyebrow rose, shock etching his face, "Why?"
"They didn't know what the pendant was. But they were well trained. Assassins."
"Assassins?" Volorn started to pace, agitation in his every step.
"Definitely assassins." Axel supplied, his face just as upset as Volorn's.
I tried to understand what was going on, "Okay, so its assassin's from Etha. What so worrying about that?"
Volorn stopped and looked at me, his lips twisted in a grimace, "Etha has rarely infiltrated Orbain. The fact that they have now is worrying. To top it off, the fact that assassins were dispatched..."
"Means that it came from a royal decree." Axel finished.
"What would royalty want with the pendant? or Tawney?" I asked, baffled.
"I don't know. But I think we need to find out as much as we can about that pendant." Volorn uttered, running his hands through his shaggy golden hair, "We also need to alert the Elite assassins being sighted."
I tried not to roll my eyes but Volorn caught my expression, "The royal family needs to know. If the sovereign dies, then Orbain falls."
I gave him a reluctant stiff nod.
He continued to study me, "Fawn, I need to know that you are with us on this. Are you willing to join the Crimson Guard, to become a soldier? To be a part of this war? Willingly?"
I thought of what he was asking of me. To accept everything I had tried too hard to not be a part of. To be immersed in the fighting and killing of strangers. To sacrifice my freedom to be a part of a regime, to eat, sleep and breathe war.
But as I looked at him, I found myself wanting it. Wanting to lose myself in battle, in the void of violence and rage that was within me. With Tawney gone, there was nothing left for me here. Nothing I wanted to do with my supposed freedom.
And so I answered him, my solemn voice vibrating in the space between us, "I will take my oath to the Crimson Guard. I will gladly fight for you, Volorn. On one condition."
His lips twisted in a warped smile, "Another condition? What is it?"
"That we find the others who killed Tawney. And I deal the killing blow."
We stared at each other in understanding, the need for vengeance and the anguish of Tawney's murder fresh between us.
"You have my word." He replied.
I gave him a nod, satisfaction racing through me.
Axel stepped to my side, breaking the moment to inquire, "So what is our next step? Should we make our way to the Capital?"
Volorn turned to stare out into the mass of people, his churning thoughts reflected onto his face, "Send a message to the rest of the Crimson Guards. Tell them to make way for the Capital. We will meet them there."
Volorn looked over to me, to the necklace still clutched in my hand and made a beeline through the crowd. "Whilst we are there we will dispatch soldiers to find more information about why this happened. And who did it."
Axel nodded and gestured for me to move forward with a flick of his chin, "Welcome to the team, Fawn."
Chapter 7
We escaped the city walls, thundering through the riding path until there was nothing surrounding us but grass, trees, and oncoming darkness. The horses seemed to know where they were going, no doubt having run between Ebonhost and capital countless of times. I had no idea how long it would take to get there and I couldn't find the strength to care or ask. The anger that kept me going for most of the day seemed to vanish, leaving me in a hole of grief.
My whole world had changed, my reason for carrying on was gone. The man who I saw as a father, was murdered. And I was left alone again in this nasty world.
After the first handful of hours, I kept silent, unwilling to speak even though both of the men tried to make conversation. I didn't want their pity, their kindness. I just wanted to be left alone. I had tied the pendant around my wrist to avoid losing it, the broken chain chafed a little again the skin but the heated presence of the stone helped to calm my thoughts.
Due to my inexperience of riding, I was bundled onto a horse with Axel. At first in my anger I managed to stay rigid on the horse I shared with him. I was unwilling to take comfort in the hardness of his body, torturing myself by staying upright. I held that position until my muscles screamed in protest, the fabric of my dress started to chafe against my thighs.
But after a couple of hours, I gave in to the comfort of relaxing my muscles and going with the motion of the horse like Axel was doing, softly leaning against his chest.
When he felt my body start to soften Axel let out a soft chuckle, "I was wondering how long you could hold out like that."
I started to stiffen again but my muscles screamed in protest. "I was wondering how long you would keep your silence, it's a shame you decided to break it. The sounds of the night were quite soothing."
He let out a snort, "I'm sure they were."
I didn't respond to him, allowing the darkness that came with Tawney's death seep into me, to create a fog around my senses.
My hand clenched around the gem, Tawney's dying words rotating around and around in my head.
You look just like your father. My son.
I couldn't seem to comprehend his meaning. If I was his son's child then...The soldier who met a tragic ending, the one who was killed along with his wife, was my parents. The boy that Tawney had fondly spoke of with tears in his eyes, the mischievous daredevil who bravely fought in the war and found the love of his life, was my dad. I tried as hard as I could to remember more of the wide smiling man I vaguely recall as my father, but a void was there. The figure was featureless, with the exception of that smile and blue eyes. And my mother...Tawney never really mentioned her. Just that she was my father's love.
I clenched my jaw and tightly closed my eyes to stop the rush of tears and resentment that flushed through me. How could he not tell me? Why had he never explained that I was his grandchild? I had so many questions, and the one man who could answer them all...was gone.
"It's not healthy to dwell in your pain, you know."
Anger sparked within me and I bit out, "What do you know."
He was silent for a while, thinking of his response before replying, "I know the pain of death. The pain of losing family."
It wasn't just the pain of losing Tawney that settled deep into my soul. I thought bitterly, It was his final deception that left me a conflicting mess of anguish, rage, and pain. But I listened to the little comfort that he supplied to me, this little bit of pain he shared. "And what did you do?"
He went silent again, reliving his own past. He made a small noise and hesitated as though he was contemplating on what he should tell me before continuing, "My family was massacred. I was the only member to survive, only because I was staying at the palace at the time. When I returned..."
He resumed his silence, lost in his own pain. I fought the urge to lay a hand on his forearm in front of me in comfort. He may be sharing his history with me, but I still remembered he had captured me against my will to force me to be a participant in the war.
Gathering himself, he continued, "I became a soldier. I promised myself that I would find those who killed them. I trained nonstop, day and night. I left little else in my life but the determination to become the best soldier, the Illusionist ever seen in Orbain."<
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I thought over all he said, "Did you? Become the best Illusionist I mean?"
"Yes." He answered nonplussed, as though it didn't mean anything.
"That's a big boast, stating you're the best," I replied.
"It's not a boast. It's a fact. I am the best Illusionist in Orbain. I trained sixteen hours a day, every day. I put my blood, sweat, and tears into my training so I could be the best." He waited a little while longer before continuing, "During that time I planned my revenge. I planned on how I would make those who killed them pay. On how I would restore their honour."
I turned to look at him before asking, "And did get your revenge?"
He looked at me, his ocean blue eyes catching mine with an intensity that blew my breath away, "They never stood a chance." Satisfaction dripped off his words and a bloodthirsty part of me was satisfied for him.
I turn back in my seat and stared off into the distance again. The truth Tawney kept from me didn't matter. I would get my vengeance for his death. I would make his murderers pay if it was the last thing I do.
"Don't let the darkness take you Fawn. Train, become the best that you can. Then defeat your enemies." Axel rumbled behind me, his words wise for someone so young.
"But I don't know who my enemies are." I softly whispered back, insecurity clouding me.
"We will find them." Axel carefully clasped one of my hands, giving me time to pull away. But I didn't. "I will help you."
I clutch onto that solemn promise, of the compassionate way he spoke.
Before long, the silence reigned out and that's all that was said for hours.
_________________________________________________
We carried on traveling until the sun had started to set, the darkness descended until I could barely see in front of my face. We had stopped at a small meadow, the only light visible was the small lantern that Volorn had lit to find some shelter for the night. He found us a small clearing that was surrounded by trees with a trickling stream for the horses.
My thighs cried out in pain from riding and my back twinged from staying in the same position for so long. But I didn't make a peep of protest. I couldn't let them see another one of my weaknesses, not after being so vulnerable before. The men hopped off their horses and tied them up to a tree whilst I waited on top of my horse. I didn't think I could get myself off the horse, my muscles had locked and screamed in protest at the movement.
"Do you need help, Milady?" Axel asked, his voice carefully neutral.
My pride demanded that I say no, however, the pains of my body screamed that I say yes.
"It seems I am stuck."
"Stuck..." A small glimmer of emotion twinkled in his eye and he drawled out the word.
I could tell he was a little amused and for some reason, I had to stop myself from the small smile that curved my lips. Feeling guilty at smiling so soon after Tawney's death, I felt the expression drop and I gritted my teeth against the self-loathing that followed. How dare I feel even remotely happy after Tawney had been murdered.
The grief seemed to punch me from nowhere and I muttered in reply, "It seems my muscles have ceased."
Axel reached up to grab my waist and lifted me down. But as soon as my legs hit the ground, they crumbled from beneath me and he had to catch me before I fell.
"Your first long-distance ride on a horse is never fun, especially if you have never ridden before." Axel murmured, "I'll see if we have any ointment that will ease your pain for you."
I blinked, surprised by the gesture. I looked into his face, seeing if he was making fun of me but his face was strangely compassionate.
"Thanks," I replied.
He nodded and let me get my feet back under myself before we strode towards Volorn.
"We will sleep here for tonight and hopefully we will get to the capital within a handful of days." Volorn declared, sweeping the area with his piercing gaze.
I looked around too, finally realising we had been directed to a small clearing, shrouded by thick bushes and overgrown trees. The men busied themselves with setting up the bedrolls whilst I gathered the items needed for a fire. I guess being on the streets for the first handful of years of my life have taught me some vital survival skills. As I gathered a variety of stones and dry branches, I couldn't help my thoughts from directing back to Tawney's unexpected revelation.
Why hadn't Tawney found me before? I had spent so many hard years on the streets, alone and scared. Why hadn't he come for me before that? In the end, it was I who found him, unexpectedly and possibly by a touch of fate.
Moving through the motions of making a fire, I dwelled on the possibility of who my mother and father were. Tawney had never mentioned any names and I had never asked, not when it seemed to cause him so much pain. Even when we were tracing my supposed ancestry, Tawney's line had never turned up, and I knew my father was a cerulean. I remembered his blue eyes, eyes I had inherited.
The only way to have a cerulean power would be for it to be passed down your ancestry. Those who had a dormant cerulean gene tended to be members of the Elite or a bi-product of a promiscuous Elite.
Did that make Tawney an Elite? For an old man with a hovel of a shop, he was well educated. He also had many books when the average home couldn't even afford one. I had assumed that they had come from heists before me, but now...
And what of my father's mother? Again there was no mention of her, and she must have been a cerulean, or else my father wouldn't have had any powers. A child from two non-ceruleans couldn't make a cerulean child. Unless they both carried the dormant gene. Maybe she too was an Elite.
I settled myself down on the hard, unforgiving dirt floor and stared into the fire as unanswered questions failed to vanish from my mind.
In the space of a day, my life had completely changed. I rapidly blinked, stopping the rush of tears that wanted to flood my eyes and took a couple of swallows to rid my throat of the sudden lump that lodged there. This was not the time to cry, to wallow. Axel was right, it wasn't healthy to dwell. And I wanted to remember Tawney for all the wonderful memories he gave me, not the memory of his death or resentment for the secrets and answers he held.
A faint buzz of conversation hummed through the camp but I ignored it, watching the vivid orange and yellows dance together in a seductive trance.
"-early tomorrow."
"I will sleep then," Axel replied.
I turned and studied him, but he too was staring into the fire, the flames illuminating his sharp cheekbones and the orange glow reflected in his clear eyes.
"When will you sleep?" I asked inquisitively.
He twisted toward me, "Someone needs to take watch and we only have two bedrolls. I will take watch tonight."
I felt my brows slam down and I asked, "Will you not be tired tomorrow?"
He nodded, "That's why I will wake Volorn halfway through. Then it will be his turn. That way we both get some sleep."
I gave him a faint nod before asking, "What about me? I can take watch."
He gave me a soft, sympathetic look, "You've had a long day. You need your rest."
I scowled at him, "I don't need your sympathy. I can pull my own weight."
"I'm not suggesting you can't. But you're not trained to our standards and until you are, you can't stand watch.
I knew what he was saying made sense, but for some reason, it seemed to rub me the wrong way and before I knew it, a challenge spit from my lips, "The day I pass all of your little tests, I bet I can best you."
He lifted an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips, "That sounds like a challenge Fawn. One I don't think I can back out of." He gave a nod in agreement, "What are your terms?"
"If I win, you owe me a favour," I instantly replied. As second in command, Axel would know where I could find any official information on Tawney. And I could use the extra help to discover more about him and who my parents were.
"That's a very open statement." He studied me, sensing I had a purpose behind the challenge, "
I will owe you a favour as long as it doesn't interfere with my vow as a guard."
"Accepted."
"If you lose..." He dragged out, making a show of thinking it over before snapping his fingers, "If you lose then you owe me a thought."
"A thought?" I replied in confusion, my defensive anger diffused in a blink.
He nodded, leaning back on his elbows and crossing his long legs as he thought it over, "Yep, a single thought at the moment I ask for it."
I struggled not to smile but a small one stretched across my face at the ridiculousness of his request.
Crimson Guard Page 7