by Kirsten Lee
“When I put the phone down, I realised what it was that made me fall in love with you. It was your intensity, your passion and your absent-mindedness that drew me to you, but it was your compassion that made me fall for you. The whole town has fallen in love with you, Al.” He smiles crookedly. “Maybe with the exception of Zondra.”
“What...” Wait. What? What is he talking about? The whole town falling in love with me?
“No, you listen and I talk. Let me finish and then you can have your say.”
“Ok.” Most unusual for me to agree to this, but once again Adam is not saying what I expected to hear and I’m scared, yet curious, to hear where this is going.
“I interrogated Ray who told me that Zondra came to the office. I eventually spoke to her and after a few false starts got her to tell me what she said to you.” I must admit that I’m glad I was not on the receiving end of that conversation with him. “She will apologise to you in person, but asked me to send her apologies when I see you.”
“Adam, you’re not my father who has to fix things and intimidate people into apologies.”
“I don’t see myself as your father at all. But this situation needed fixing. And you are still not allowed to talk. So just listen.”
“Okay.” I push the last piece of the toast in my mouth to keep me from talking.
“You never saw the need to tell me about your past and I also didn’t see the need, but since Zondra so kindly brought Elle into this, I will explain to you.” He stops a comment from me with a raised finger, so I lean back in my chair and wait. “Elle and I had a good relationship. She was everything I needed in a wife. But she was not anything I wanted in a partner, in a wife. We had a very amicable break up and not very soon after that, when my grandfather died, it seemed the perfect time for me to make a life change as well. I moved to Villsburg and Elle bought my flat because she liked it and it saved her from moving.” I’ve finished my coffee and am totally enthralled in what he is telling me.
“I had enough of the rush of the city. After fifteen years of fighting the corporate war and winning one after the other battle, there was nothing challenging in it for me any longer. I didn’t like the power that my position gave me over people and I really didn’t like the way my peers abused that power. I wanted to get out of it. I also wanted to have someone in my life who is real. Someone that I can share experiences with, can laugh with and someone who has compassion. The last being a quality sadly lacking in the world I was so involved in until then. And a quality that was not part of Elle’s world or character.”
Now I’m too scared to say anything. He is saying things and I think I’m understanding things, but I’m too terrified to open my mouth and ruin the moment. I pour myself another, my third, glass of orange juice.
“And then you appeared on the side of the road with your inability to be something that you are not. You were like a breath of fresh air in my life and once I got to know you, realised that you’re everything I want as my wife.”
His what? I swallow a mouth full of orange juice too quickly and start choking. It takes a few moments to clear my lungs from juice and I look at Adam with bloodshot eyes, one which is still a vomitey yellow-green and slightly swollen, and he continues as if he didn’t just say what I thought I heard him say.
“We never talked about this and I never thought that my previous relationship might become a problem. Maybe if I’ve been clearer on how I felt about you, you wouldn’t have taken heed to Zondra and her malicious talk.”
He reaches across the table and takes my shocked limp hands in his. “Alex, let me be very clear right now. I love you.” He whats me? “I want you to be there when I wake up in the mornings and when I go to bed at night.”
“No, you don’t.” I pull my hands back and cross my arms. “Adam, you don’t know me. You don’t know why I left.”
“Oh, but I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I…”
“No, now it is my turn to talk.” He nods, dutifully sits back and listens. “I left because this thing between us would destroy you. It would bring shame on your reputation and damage your career that you’ve worked so many years to build. And then it would break my heart.”
“Are you talking about your criminal record, the married boyfriend, or your adventure with the special investigation unit? Or are you talking about dating Jesus?” The corner of his mouth is now giving me a little hint that he might be getting annoyed. “Alex, do you really think that I care about your past?”
“Yes, I do and if you don’t, you should.” I shoot back, furious with him for knowing this about me and enraged with Erin, the only one alive who knows all this, for obviously being the one who told him my deep dark secrets. “Erin told you.”
“Only after I badgered him. Don’t be angry with him Alex. He’s only got your best interests at heart.”
“By telling you my secrets?!”
“Oh, come on. These secrets are not as deep and dark as you think.”
“Hmph.”
“How many more times must I tell you that I don’t care about your previous boyfriends? I don’t care that you have a criminal record.” He’s beginning to sound exasperated.
“You should care. You of all people should know what the corporate world is like.”
“I just told you that I don’t care about that world.”
“But you should. You’ve worked so hard to be where you are today.”
“Yes, I have and now my career speaks for itself. Have you not seen me on this month’s cover of Business and Finance?”
“Of course I have and that is exactly why I think you should stay away from me. I’m bad news as you so obviously know.”
“My private life and my professional life are two different worlds. Alex, I want you in my life. Both my lives. I love coming home to the shoes in the foyer and the half-empty coffee mugs staining my antiques.”
“It will lose its charm all too soon.”
“No, it won’t. I love sitting in the den and listening to you putter around the house, speaking to yourself.”
“I don’t speak to myself.”
“You do, and I love it. I even love the little snoring noises you make when you sleep. When you’re not in the office, I look forward to going home, because you’ll be there.” My tear ducts are working overtime again, but this time it’s because every word Adam says is what I’ve so desperately wanted to hear, but never allowed myself to hope for. He takes my hands again in his and squeezes them. “Now when I walk into the house that previously felt like a hotel, it feels like I’m coming home.”
“Because I make such a mess.”
“No. Well, maybe a little. But it’s because you are there.” He leans forward and wipes a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “Alex, I don’t want you to be anyone you are not. Your eccentricities drive me crazy at the best of times, but that’s part of why I love you. You’ve challenged me on levels that no other ‘perfect’ woman has ever done.” He cups my cheek with his hand and I can’t help but lean into him. “And I really don’t care about your past.”
“But I still get calls from the special investigation unit.”
“That’s no problem.”
“I also get calls from William’s wives.” He frowns and I explain, “He’s the polygamist.”
“Are they friendly calls?”
“Not always.”
“Then we will deal with it.”
“You’ll get tired of the mess I create.”
“We’ll get a housekeeper.”
“I’ve lost my smart phone again.”
“We’ll get another one.” He laughs into my eyes. “How many more excuses do you have to prove to me that we won’t work?”
“Plenty.”
“And I’ll have a solution for all of them. Come home. Come live with me. Let’s try to make this work – as crazy as we might make each other.”
“Oh Adam, that’s... you... I... you’ll get tired of m
e.” I take his one hand in both of mine with not a little sadness.
“If I were to get tired of you, it would’ve happened by now and I would not be here trying to convince you that I love you and I want you to be my wife.”
“There! You said it again.” I throw his hand back at him in an accusation.
“What? Wife?” The corner of his mouth tells me that he is amused and that pisses me off. Where are the flowers and the candlelight? I mean, really!
“Yes. Wife. What do you mean with that?”
“Well, when two people love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together, they usually get married.” He says very slowly in his old-people-small-children tone. Then he gets serious. “I’ve told you that I love you and I want to grow old with you. It is your turn.”
“I...oh...I...” I close my eyes in total confusion and wish that Blossom would fart, the toaster would explode, a meteor would burst through the window, or any other distraction would take this pressure off me right now.
“I thought so.” I open my eyes and can see that I’ve made Adam sad and I hate myself for it.
“Oh Adam, I’m so sorry. I’m just so very confused at this moment. I’ve told myself a million times that you wouldn’t want me if you knew about my past and then you come in here knowing all my horrible stories and you propose. It is just too much for me to process.”
“I know.” It looks as if he does. “I also know that you love me. How ever difficult it might be for you to admit, you do. I will, however, give you time to work this through. I have to get back to the office in any case – there are a few last minute things to finalise. The opening is tomorrow evening as you well know, and you’re still on the programme to give the opening speech.” He gets up from the table, bends over and plants the softest kiss on my lips. “Please be there.”
I watch him walk to the door and already feel the loss of his presence. He opens the door and as strongly as I want to stop him and tell him how much I love him, I just can’t get myself to do it. He turns around and looks at me for the longest moment and then looks down at Blossom who’s sitting with his head on my lap. “Bring that dog with when you come.” And then he’s gone.
I bury my head in Blossom’s fur once again and surrender to all the emotions that wash over me. It’s only when Blossom starts getting restless that I lift my head, spit out a few of his hairs that I didn’t inhale and walk to my bedroom. I pick up the beautiful dress and bring it to my face as I sit down on my bed. The bed that Adam cleaned and made up. I think of all the things that he’s done for me in the last six weeks. Things that were not asked of him, but showed that he cares, and in hind sight it shows that it was motivated by more than just simple caring.
He told me that he loves me and I believe that. I can see it in how he treats me. The fact that we have amazing physical chemistry and that I’m always lusting after his body doesn’t help to dissuade me. In fact, it leans harder on the point that we seem to balance each other out. He certainly brings a balance to my chaotic mind. He seems to bring order to it and he calms me down.
A million thoughts race through my mind as I press the soft fabric against my cheek and weigh my options. There are many options and give them all a thorough consideration before I dismiss it and move to the next one. I play with the dress on my lap and marvel at how well Adam has me figured out. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that he, or I for that matter, understands me. But this dress, his speech and the last six weeks proves this one thing to me. Mr Adam Montgomery gets me.
I don’t know for how long I sit like this, but it is late afternoon when I fall back on my bed exhausted, yet decided.
Chapter 26
The converted barn is filled with people, all of them looking fabulous. Admittedly, some of them look too fabulous, like only people in the countryside who seldom to never have a formal function to go to can look. Take for example the lady sitting at the table to the left of me. It looks like she came from a fruit orchard with that hat of hers. If this shindig were held outside, Lady Fruithead would have had a swarm of birds and bees circling her head licking their lips – if they had any.
I’m standing at the back of the barn, which was fastidiously turned into a ballroom, with great success. It helps ease the feeling of guilt for leaving Ray with everything. I’m not surprised that he’s done such a good job of overseeing everything. Fortunately it was all arranged and he just had to make sure that the contracts were carried out to the letter. When Blossom and I walked from the parking area to the ball room, I took note of everything and standing in this room I am convinced that everything is as it should be. I need to talk to Adam about a bonus for Ray.
Soft classical music drifts from the speakers and there is a pleasant hum of conversation. Ray also did a good job with the seating arrangements – so far everyone seems to enjoy their table companions and it seems like most conversations are aimed at the barn conversion. A lot of people are looking around and pointing at the details that were worked into the design. The ‘ceiling’ gets particular attention and I must admit that it looks wonderful. Long strips of white fabric have been used as a makeshift ceiling and hang in loops hiding the barn’s unsightly roof from sight.
All the hay has been cleared out and the wooden floor washed, treated and somehow they got it to shine. This gives the barn an elegance that I’m sure was never in its original plans. Each table has a meter high lamp bathing it in a soft light and highlighting the beautiful flowers around the bases of the lamps. The lamps provide sufficient lighting for people-watching and attire-criticising while softening hard lines and hiding wrinkles. Blossom seems to sense the importance of this moment and is sitting quietly next to me. He shuffles a bit closer and I scratch his favourite spot behind his ear while I take the rest of the scene in.
There are twenty tables seating ten people each and the two VIP tables at the front end of the barn play host to the committee members, sponsors and me. All the chairs, except for two, are filled with carefully dressed bottoms. Everyone has been seated and according to the programme, I will get on the stage in the front within the next three minutes to open the event. No one knows I’m here, except for Erin, and since I haven’t announced my presence I suppose Adam will be the one getting on the stage to give the opening speech. He doesn’t know that I have different plans for this evening. I’m just not quite yet sure what those plans are.
The stage is big enough to hold the five piece band that will play jazz standards a bit later and has a mike stand in the middle for the guest of honour who will sing a few songs and for the person who will give the opening speech. I see Ray nervously looking around for anything that could be wrong while politely trying to have a conversation with Erin. A face that I can’t find anywhere is Zondra’s and I must admit that I’m rather glad that she isn’t here.
No, I lie. I’m delighted that she isn’t here. One of the biggest obstacles I had to face coming here tonight was the possibility of walking into her. I’m not scared of confronting her. I’m more afraid of what I might say and especially of what I might do to her if I were to face her. It’s better for the decorum of this whole event that she’s not here and no one will ever have to find out what I’m capable of when provoked.
Erin tried to get me to go and sit with him, but I couldn’t get myself to do that, so at the moment I’m carefully hidden from view with Blossom now sitting on my right foot. Erin arrived late yesterday evening at my home and had to let himself in because I refused to open the door for him. I don’t know why he has two spare sets of keys for my house, but he does and once he let himself in, he started softening me up.
It took a lot of talking and explaining from him before I was willing to even consider forgiving him. Of course I understand his rationale behind telling Adam about my past, but I made it very clear to him that if he were to remain my best friend he was never to tell another one of my secrets. Ever. After our tiring conversation, he went home and I was left with worrying about
tonight.
I spent the best part of last night and this morning arguing myself in and out of coming. Part of me wanted to run away and still does. Part of my dilemma was not being able to decide what to wear. I tried on and discarded every single outfit in my cupboard and eventually at one o’clock this morning, in sheer desperation, tried the dress on that Adam brought yesterday morning. Another few hours of agonising indecision followed and only the hour of the morning stopped me from phoning Juan to enlist his help.
Now I’m hiding behind one of the pillars at the back of the barn, thinking that I could still make a run for it – my sandals might slow me down a bit, but this pair is quite a bit more humane than the torture chambers Juan chose for me previously. I have Erin’s promise that I look a million dollars, but the hollowness in my stomach does nothing to help my feet from wanting to run. At least this time my stomach isn’t bloated – a cold comfort if you take into consideration the huge hole I feel where my stomach should be. I wipe my sweaty hand against my thigh and feel the soft fabric of my dress under my hand. Oh dear! I hope I don’t have too many of Blossom’s hair on my dress. After too much deliberation, I eventually decided to wear the dress that was waiting for me on my bed yesterday morning and even I think I look gorgeous.