You see, in the three years that had passed since then, I’d seen lots of girls like her come and go. They might’ve hung out with the townie boys while their parents were hosting barbecues at their north side beach houses, but then they left.
They came, they played, then they fled back to their white picket fences and their private schools, and they never looked back. Ellie was no exception.
Oh wait, not Ellie. Eleanor.
I found myself fighting a smile at the memory of how she’d said it, teasing me ever so gently by echoing my words, which hadn’t been terribly welcoming, I’d admit.
Ugh, there it was again. That feeling of guilt that made me want to crawl out of my skin. I wasn’t a mean guy. I might’ve fallen in with a tough crowd after my mom died, and I’d definitely made my fair share of mistakes, but I wasn’t some callous jerk who got his kicks out of intimidating nice girls.
In fact, ever since my mom died I’d made it a point to steer clear of good girls like Ellie so they wouldn’t get hurt. Or maybe so I wouldn’t get hurt. Either way, I’d learned my place in the world, and it wasn’t to play Prince Charming to some nice girl who still believed in fairytales.
But Ellie was more than some nice girl, she was a friend. Or she had been before she’d vanished from my life. I headed out of the kitchen to avoid any more of Jason’s annoying questions and maybe even avoid the horrible sensation that I’d been a creep. I was halfway to the door when Jason called out. “You working today?”
“Nope.” Some mornings I worked at the garage downtown but not today.
“Where you headed?”
“Out.” That was all he was going to get from me because I didn’t want to hear his jokes if I told him I was going to find Ellie.
I drove my motorcycle up toward the north end of the beach, parking it by the entrance near the boardwalk because I knew exactly where she’d be.
Or maybe I didn’t. I shook my head in disgust as I realized that I was an idiot if I thought Ellie had come back just for me, that she would be hanging out at our spot. For all I knew she was here with her boyfriend. Maybe she was here for some romantic getaway, or maybe she had some family function, or—
I came to a stop just shy of our old meeting spot. She was there, and I…well, I felt like I’d been sucker punched. For a second there it seemed like the last three years hadn’t happened at all. My favorite person, the girl I never thought I’d ever see again, was waiting for me in our spot...
Trailing her hands in the sand of the shady spot under the boardwalk, she watched the beach volleyball game going on before her and I was free to watch her, to try to make sense of this indescribable sensation. This feeling…the tightness in my chest, the warmth that seeped into my bones…this was the closest I’d felt to coming home since my mom died two years ago. Since her death, our house had felt more like a pit stop—a place where Jason and I slept and ate between school and work. Since I’d graduated a couple weeks ago it was just work now, and the future spread before me like a flat, barren desert. All I could see was a lifetime of dead-end jobs and the same people I saw day in and day out in this town.
But that bleak forecast could wait. Because at this particular moment, I was gazing at an oasis. A little glimpse of heaven—or maybe my past. Definitely not my future, but that was fine, because she was here. Now.
Ellie didn’t see me so I stood there and watched her. She was fair—she clearly hadn’t spent much time in the sun yet. I knew from experience that her skin turned a honey brown after weeks of splashing in the waves and lying out on the beach. Fair or tanned, she was beautiful. Untouchably, unspeakably beautiful. A golden goddess come to life.
Her long slim legs were stretched out in front of her and her gleaming blonde hair was pulled back in a loose braid that fell over her shoulders. She wasn’t paying attention to the game. That much I could see even from where I stood because her eyes were unfocused, looking beyond the shirtless guys who were no doubt hoping to impress the pretty girl sitting nearby.
She was looking through them. Beyond them.
I knew the feeling, and I even had a moment of pity for the volleyball-playing bros, who didn’t realize that while they might be in her line of sight, they weren’t of her world.
That last summer we spent together was filled with moments like that. She’d grown up, I guess. I’d had to share her with the rest of the world, and I hated it. She was old enough to go to the parties her parents were always hosting—parties where I wasn’t welcome. But even when we were hanging out, just the two of us, her friends were always texting, and her boyfriend seemed to need her at his beck and call.
She’d been with me, but she hadn’t been mine. Not the way I’d wanted her to be.
I swallowed down an old hurt that was beyond ridiculous. She’d been a kid. I’d been a kid. We’d been children. I couldn’t fault her for not understanding that my feelings for her had changed, and to treat her like a stranger now when she’d come back, when she was sitting in our spot like she was waiting for me…
My feet were moving me forward, shuffling through the white sand that was already hot from the morning sun. She didn’t look up until I reached her side and when she did she widened her eyes in obvious surprise.
“Is this seat taken?” The words just sort of…came out. The cheesiest line I’d ever spoken.
After a silence that lasted just a second too long, she smiled and I forgot how to breathe.
I’d forgotten her smile.
Well, I hadn’t forgotten. But I’d told myself that I’d exaggerated its power. I’d assumed that my infatuated prepubescent self had blown it out of proportion. It couldn’t be so powerful that it took my breath away and outshone the summer sun. Surely I’d remembered it wrong.
I had not.
If anything, my memory didn’t do it justice. Here was the thing about her smile—it wasn’t just her lips. It wasn’t her pearly white teeth or the cute creases she got around her mouth. The smile spread to her eyes and made them dance, it made her face glow and her cheeks flush.
Her smile was like a force of nature. A living energy that transformed her and me and everything else in view.
She tilted her head to the side and squinted a bit. “You’d better sit, I can barely see you with the sun behind you like that.”
I fell onto the sand beside her without a second thought.
She eyed me from head to toe. “How did you get so tall?”
“Seriously?” I turned to face her, laughter bubbling up at how uncomfortable this was not. Like last night’s awkward encounter had never happened and three years had never passed. “I haven’t seen you in years, and that’s what you want to know?”
She shrugged, laughter in her eyes. “I didn’t recognize you.”
I grinned at the memory of her standing right next to me and not knowing it. Guilt was tempered by amusement now that I knew I hadn’t hurt her feelings too badly.
“You should have said something.”
“And ruin the moment?”
“What moment?” She was still smiling, and she was close.
She was so close.
I looked back toward the ocean and swallowed down the old, ridiculous emotions that used to overwhelm me when she was near. “The moment when sweet little Ellie finally came looking for her long-lost friend.”
I’d meant it to be teasing, but I didn’t quite manage to fully hide the hurt. I wasn’t such a tough guy that I couldn’t admit that I had been hurt when she’d left this town—when she’d left me—and never looked back.
Her expression was oddly unreadable when I looked over. “You never came looking for me either, you know.”
I tilted my chin down in acknowledgement. I didn’t really want to have the whole who should have done what conversation. Maybe I’d been a bad friend for not calling, or maybe she’d been a bad friend for not returning.
Or maybe we were just two kids with no way of visiting out-of-state friends and the kind of friendship tha
t had never embraced technology.
For a second I thought she’d read my mind because she narrowed her eyes. “Do you know I don’t even have your phone number?”
I felt a grin tugging at my lips because her words pushed me straight down memory lane. “Probably because I didn’t have a cell phone of my own the last time you saw me.”
She nodded. “That’s right. I always had to call your mom’s phone to get a hold of you.”
The mention of my mother had me steering the topic in a different direction, with maybe just a hint of desperation. I so wasn’t ready to have that conversation. Not with Ellie. “Yeah, well, I thought we managed pretty well without technology.”
She nodded quickly. “Oh totally. I mean, we had a secret meeting spot. What more do you need?” She gestured to the rotting wood pillar she sat beside. One that I knew had our initials all over it if one were so inclined to look for them.
I studied her as she studied our former top-secret meetup location with a wrinkled nose. “Hey Deacon?”
“Yeah?”
She turned back so suddenly I felt her gaze meeting mine with a jolt. “Was it always so dirty down here?”
A laugh was startled out of me and she grinned in response. But she was still waiting for an answer. “I think it was always pretty disgusting under the boardwalk. We just didn’t notice.”
She looked around again at the cigarette butts and the empty beer cans with a sigh. “Ignorance was bliss.”
I laughed again and stood, reaching out a hand to help her up. “Maybe we’re too old for this place.”
“Sacrilege!” she said with a gasp of exaggerated shock. But she slipped her hand into mine and got to her feet. I tried not to notice how good it felt to touch her, how natural it felt to hold her hand in mine.
Which was weird because it wasn’t like we’d spent a lot of time holding hands, unless it was me dragging along as we raced through town to the Star Diner for lunch, or the boardwalk arcade where we rapidly spent every spare dime of Ellie’s daily allowance.
That’s right. Daily. The girl hadn’t hurt for money then, and I’d guess she wasn’t hurting now either. How did I know? Money was written all over her. Money and class. This was a girl whose future shone so bright, it made my own look even bleaker in comparison.
She headed right and I let go of her hand, shoving mine into the pockets of my jeans as I trailed along beside her. “So,” I said slowly.
“So,” she repeated just as slowly. I could hear the smile in her voice.
“What are you doing here?” I inwardly flinched at the bluntness of my question. No better than last night, really. But I’d never been one to beat about the bush and I was curious.
I saw her glance over at me at the corner of her eye. “Why?” she teased. “Not happy to see me?”
I looked over at her. “Why do I feel like you’re avoiding the question?” I was surprised to see her smile fade and she bit her lip before she looked away.
Now I wasn’t just curious, I needed to know. “You did that last night, too, you know.”
“Did what?”
I let out a little huff of laughter. She was trying to play dumb? With me? Nice try. “You avoided that question. It shouldn’t be so difficult to answer.”
When I glanced over again I saw that her cheeks were a pretty shade of pink.
Huh. Interesting.
“Are you here with your family?”
She shook her head.
“Boyfriend?”
She glanced over and I steeled my expression, reminding myself sternly that I wasn’t a kid anymore. I didn’t do ridiculous unrequited infatuations and I definitely didn’t do jealousy.
“No,” she said.
Well, that told me…nothing. “So then, what brings you to Sterling Beach?”
She pointed toward town “Is the drive-in still around?”
I stared at her. “Are you trying to distract me?”
She gave me a sheepish little smile. “Maybe.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, for the first time really realizing that three years had passed. Three years. The girl I thought I knew had grown up, and maybe I didn’t really know her after all. “Ellie…”
“Eleanor,” she shot back.
I smiled. “You’ll always be Ellie to me.”
Her smug smile matched mine. “Fine, Deacon.”
I winced. My friends at school had started calling me Deek in junior high, then Jason had caught on and called me that too, but it wasn’t until after my mom died that I’d stopped going by Deacon altogether. She’d been the only one who still called me that and I hadn’t wanted to hear it from anyone else.
I glanced over at Ellie out of the corner of my eye. Coming from this girl it was all right, I guess. Hearing my full name might’ve brought up memories, but hearing her call me by my nickname would have been too weird.
“How’s your mom doing?” she asked. Her sudden shift in the conversation brought me back to reality with a jolt.
“I’ve missed her,” she continued.
Join the club. I turned my gaze to the ocean and cleared my throat. “I have a proposition for you.”
“Proposition, huh?” She nudged my arm with her elbow. “What kind of proposition?”
I looked over in shock at the flirty tone and caught her blush before she ducked her head. Well, that was new.
I ignored it, partly because I didn’t want to embarrass her further, but mainly because the thought of flirting with Ellie triggered a red flag. Danger.
“What do you say we take a little reprieve from the whole catch-up portion of this reunion,” I said.
She peered over at me, her head still tucked down as she cast me a suspicious look. “What do you mean? Like, just pretend the last three years didn’t happen?”
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
When I glanced over, I was rewarded with one of her epic smiles. “That sounds perfect.”
I told my heart to quit being a wuss and remain calm. It didn’t listen.
I blamed the smile.
“It does, doesn’t it?” I murmured. I had to admit, I was a little impressed with my own genius. Nothing could actually erase the last three years, but for right now, I had no desire to dim her smile with talk of death and struggle. For just a little while I wanted to remember what it was like to have this girl at my side. No cares, no concerns, just a great friend who made me laugh and who shared the same love of adventure that I did.
Of course, I hadn’t had an adventure since I was fourteen and Ellie and I decided to sneak into the boardwalk’s haunted house while it was closed, but still…
The memory had me steering us away from the ocean’s edge and toward the boardwalk.
“Where are we going?” Ellie asked.
I didn’t look over at her, but I could hear the smile in her voice. Even without seeing it, that smile had a way of knocking me on my butt. It filled her voice with warmth and made me feel like a freakin’ hero in some kids’ story.
She’d always made me feel like that, but I guess I’d forgotten.
“We’re going to the arcade,” I announced.
She giggled as she scrambled to catch up at my side. The sound was adorable. A blast from the past and a reminder that for a little while, we could at least pretend that we were kids again.
Chapter Four
Eleanor
Hours later as the sun was starting to set I fell onto a boardwalk bench with a happy sigh and an overfull belly. Deacon sank down onto the seat beside me with a similar sigh of contentment.
“I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun,” I blurted out.
He grinned down at me and I forgot to breathe. I was still getting used to this whole grown-up, muscly, hot-as-Hades Deacon, and every once in a while his newfound sexiness struck me anew. I’d been torn between comfortable friendliness and crippling shyness all day as I tried to come to grips with this new Deacon and the fact that at times it seemed like nothi
ng at all had changed between us.
But other times? It felt like absolutely everything had changed.
It was confusing. Awesome…but confusing.
I looked away from him and focused on the former feeling, the one that had made this day so crazy fun. “I can’t believe you lost your skills at skee-ball, Deacon.” I shook my head. “Seriously, I’m disappointed in you.”
“Hey,” he said with fake indignation. “Who won the rematch, huh?”
He had. But it was still fun to tease him. I shifted to face him again. “Dude, you live here. You have no excuses for falling behind with your arcade game skills. What have you been doing these past three years?”
Oops. I’d accidentally broken the golden rule that had made this day so perfect. We hadn’t once talked about the past three years. Instead we’d hung out like we used to. We ate junk food and played games and swam in the ocean and then dried off by lying out in the sun…and then we did it all over again. Just like old times—except for the fact that I’d never once drooled over Deacon’s bare chest before. But other than that…just like old times.
I bit my lip at my slip-up, but luckily he laughed it off as he took a swig of his soda. “I’ll tell you what I haven’t been doing these past three years. I haven’t been playing games.”
I snorted with amusement. “Clearly.”
“What about you?” he demanded, turning to face me. “What have you been doing these past three years because you clearly haven’t been playing Donkey Kong.”
I feigned a serious expression as I met his gaze. “You caught me. I have not been playing Donkey Kong.”
“Clearly.” His mock disgust and the way he’d mimicked me made me laugh, and he grinned in response. Man, I’d missed that smile. Everything else about him might have changed—his voice was lower, his body bigger and covered in ink, but his smile hadn’t changed a bit. And when he grinned at me like he was doing now, it truly did feel like nothing had changed. That connection was still there and it was palpable.
“What next?” I asked, and then with a jolt I realized how presumptuous I was being. “Unless you already have plans,” I added quickly. “Or maybe work?”
Beach Town Bad Boy: A Briarwood High Novella Page 3