“I’m not sure. How long are y’all staying?”
“I’ll leave when you leave,” Jesse answered.
“I’m supposed to leave tomorrow, but I can certainly call George and let him know it’ll be later.” El tucked a stray hair behind her ear, looking down at her phone, oblivious to the conversation that Jesse and Patrick were having with their eyes. “What do you think?” she asked as her eyes rose to his.
He thought he saw longing in them that mirrored his, but it was just for a second.
“I think another day will be fine.” Patrick wanted to go back to the cemetery today, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to do it alone. “Will you guys come back to the cemetery with me?” he asked.
“Of course, man. Losing your brother has got to hurt, even with...” Jesse’s voice died in his throat.
“All his struggles, he was still your brother,” El finished. She took his hand in hers. “The one who taught you how to play baseball and gave you the love of the game.”
Her fingers intertwined in his and his dick got so hard he thought it might break off. Thank God he was wearing a long, loose shirt over his jeans. He closed his eyes and thought about her words. His brother had been the star of his family until he was shot. Wrong place, wrong time. It had ended all his dreams, his parents’ dreams, their marriage, everything. Shit. At least he wasn’t hurting anymore.
Jesse reached over the table and grabbed his shoulder. “I’m sorry, man.”
El stood up and walked to the bathroom in the back before their food got there.
“Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” Jesse said as soon as she was gone. “It might not be the greatest timing, but…”
“What is it?” Patrick wanted to talk about anything normal, especially if it wasn’t related to Trevor.
“I’m done with ball. I just signed a contract to do a talk radio show in the morning in Atlanta.”
“That’s awesome, man,” Patrick said sincerely. “Congrats!”
“So, um, I’m also starting a football camp that’d run every week during the summer for kids who want to play football, but can’t afford to pay for fancy camps. It’d be in Flowery Branch, I’ve already gotten it cleared. I just have to work out the logistics of where kids would stay and that sort of thing.”
Patrick stared at his friend, surprised and proud at all that Jesse had done.
“I need to hire someone to run it, deal with the charity and fundraising. All that…” Jesse trailed off.
“Jesse, that’s fantastic.”
“Would you be interested in the position?”
Patrick was floored. “What?”
“It’s just that I know you’re kinda done with the government. I’m hoping this is the incentive you need to leave. You’d be doing something good every fucking day.”
Patrick blinked. He didn’t know how to respond to such a generous offer.
“I mean, think about it,” Jesse conceded.
“Why would you want me to do that? I know nothing about running a charity.”
“Oh, I’d have an accountant and a business manager and all that,” Jesse assured him, “but I need someone I trust to be in there and make sure everything’s happening, and I trust you.”
The server brought their food out, which was followed by El sitting back down. He looked at his grits and omelet. If he took Jesse up on his offer, he’d be able to date Marly without keeping it a secret; they could make a go of it if she wanted to.
“Okay,” he said to Jesse.
His white teeth made an immediate appearance. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
This would be his year of re-making himself. He’d left DC with the goal to be different, to move forward. With this new job and a new girl, he was going to be a totally different person by the end of the year.
Hours later they were all sitting at the rooftop bar of the Bohemian, which overlooked the Savannah River. It was a typical spring night in Savannah, hot and humid, but there was a breeze coming off the river.
Marly had texted him earlier that she was on her way and would be there any minute. He wanted her with him, and knew she wanted to be there, but he understood the constraints of her job. He really did. She’d gotten away as soon as she could manage and was on her way, which made him breathe a little easier somehow. He had to admit he couldn’t wait to see her. He couldn’t wait for her to meet Billy and Katrina.
Katrina was sitting next to Jesse and they were talking in hushed voices about who knows what; they were awfully chummy. Billy, Kayce and El were all commiserating about the latest political scandal in DC. Patrick watched the ships float down the river.
“Patrick?” He looked up to see Billy looking over his shoulder at him.
Patrick followed his gaze to a vision of Marly, wearing a blue tank top, a Braves baseball cap, and a tight smile he couldn’t decipher. He leapt up to greet her and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” she whispered in his ear.
He shook his head. “It’s fine, really.” He held her hand and pulled her over to the table.
“Everyone, this is Marly. Marly, this is everyone.” He pointed at everyone. “You know Jesse. That’s my sister, Katrina. That’s Billy and his girlfriend, Kayce, and that’s Stella.”
Marly held her hand up in a wave to everyone, but her eyes stayed on El.
“Marly,” Katrina got up and hugged Marly, “thank you so much for coming.”
“I hate that I couldn’t be here earlier. This trial is just one I couldn’t get a break from.”
“We understand,” Katrina commented.
Patrick kept his hand around hers.
“You look better with your clothes off,” Billy joked. Kayce glared at him.
“Excuse me?!” Marly exclaimed.
Patrick couldn’t believe he’d said that. “Fuck you, Billy.”
“Ignore him.” El stood up and stuck her hand out. “Sorry to have to meet you this way, Marly. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Marly nodded and shook El’s hand, her face blank.
The group stayed on the rooftop bar for the remainder of the night, talking about anything and everything not related to his brother. He could feel the tension in his shoulders relax with Marly there, she gave him a sense of peace that he needed.
“Oh shit!” El cried a little after midnight. “I can’t find my phone. I hope I didn’t leave it at the restaurant this morning.” She dumped out her purse out on the table, cursing.
“When’s the last time you had it?” Katrina asked helpfully.
El looked over at Patrick. “I think when I was showing Jesse pictures of Liam this morning.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. He squeezed Marly’s hand twice.
“Where?” Katrina followed up.
“In Patrick’s room.”
Marly pulled her hand out of Patrick’s without looking at him.
No one ask her where she stayed. No one ask her where she stayed.
“Why don’t you guys run up and look real quick?” Katrina suggested innocently. “Marly needs to put her luggage up anyway.”
Sighing, Patrick stood up and grabbed Marly’s luggage before she had the chance to get it herself.
This would be interesting.
Patrick opened the door to let Marly, and then El, into his hotel room. His shoulders slumped as he followed them in and sat on the bed, waiting for El to grab her phone and leave. He knew he’d have to tell Marly how El’s cell phone ended up in his room, to tell her that she’d stayed with him last night and that’s all that happened—she stayed. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them he saw El carefully pull her phone out of the sleeve of her dress while acting like she found it under the bed. What the fuck is she up to?
“Marly, it was so nice to meet you,” El said with a smile.
“You too, Stella, I’ve heard a lot about you, as well,” Marly countered. She was standing behind where Patrick was sitting on the bed.
Silence.
“Listen, Marly, Patrick is one of my best friends, like a brother to me. He…”
Patrick opened his eyes and saw El standing at the entrance of the room, looking at Marly with determination. She fidgeted for a few seconds, wringing her hands a bit before she spoke again.
“Patrick’s important to me and always has been…always will be. Things have gotten tangled and twisted a few times with us, but I love him and want what’s best for him.” She swallowed hard. “It seems like that may be you, and if that’s the case, I’m going to cheer you on. If not, I’m going to be the one that helps him pick up the pieces and move on to the person who will make him happy in a way he deserves.” She paused and looked at Patrick, fiddling with the seam of her shirt showing him her nervousness. “In a way I could never have made him happy.” She smiled, her eyes evidencing the sadness she felt by this reality.
Marly stood there, stunned and unmoving, taking in the exchange that was directed to her, but so obviously for Patrick.
Silence.
The silence was so thick, he thought he might choke on it.
Patrick’s mind felt a tug, a give, and then a release of what he’d been holding since that day on the porch when she’d left him there, destroyed. She did love him in her own way. She’d loved him enough to protect him…from her. Her eyes, now glistening, gave away how much she did, in fact, love him. They gave away the remorse she had over the fact they wouldn’t be together. They showed the determination that he get what he needed and the knowledge she wouldn’t be able to give it to him.
Patrick rose and wrapped his arms around El, maybe for the last time. “Thank you,” he whispered in her ear.
“You’re my person,” she whispered back. They broke off the hug and she turned to leave. Stella nodded to Marly, meeting her eyes. “It was really nice to meet you,” she said before she walked out of the room.
Patrick turned around and faced Marly. Her face was a mask, hiding her emotions from him, her baseball cap pulled low on her forehead.
“Let me have it,” he said, bracing himself for Marly’s anger.
“Patrick, she’s…” Marly sunk to the bed. “That was sort of amazing. She basically said ‘hey, I know this is sort of fucked up, but if you make him happy, cool, if not, I got his back. We didn’t work, we couldn’t work, but I hope you two can.’”
“Yeah, she did.” Patrick stood in front of Marly, looking down at her. Please don’t freak out. He was finally free; he hoped that Marly could see that.
Marly gazed at him, her warm blue eyes curious and wary. “She loves you.”
He nodded. “In her way.”
“You love her.” It was a statement.
“I did.” Patrick caressed Marly’s jaw with both hands, rubbing his thumbs on her bottom lip.
Silence.
“I did love her, Marly, and I wanted more than anything for us to work, but we didn’t and she let me go. I’ve been trying to let her go for a while, but being with you has been what I needed to see that she and I weren’t meant to be like I thought.” Patrick dropped his hands. His mind was warring with his heart; they’d been fighting since Marly surprised him with her charm, humor, and willingness to wait for him. He sat on the bed and put his hands on hers. “I’m thinking you and I might be the ones meant to be. I would’ve never met you if I hadn’t moved to Atlanta.”
Marly was looking down at their hands. She turned her hand over so that it was palm up and threaded her fingers through his. “You think?” she asked sincerely.
“I do.” And he did.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here yesterday.”
“I’m sorry for so many things. I’m sorry I haven’t shared more of myself with you. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet Trevor before he died. I’m sorry you haven’t met my momma.” I’m sorry I have secrets I’ll never be able to tell you.
Patrick leaned in and kissed her bottom lip; she moaned like he knew she would. He pressed her back on to the bed and took off her hat, maneuvering himself above her, bracing himself with his forearms, and kissed her again.
“I should’ve been the one comforting you,” she said as he moved his lips to her neck, nipping and sucking.
He looked up from what he was doing. “You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
Epilogue
A year later…
Patrick pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and sat down. He gazed out at the majestic view and couldn’t help sighing. Taking a sip of his thermos of water, he smiled as he realized he was content. It was a hard feeling to appreciate in his daily life, but sitting here with nothing to do but know that there was something greater than him out there was kind of awesome. He hadn’t been content with his life in six years, and now here he was, blissed out and calm. And happy. Marly had made his life better. He felt at peace, almost high because of her.
“Can you believe this shit?” Billy dropped down next to Patrick and put his hand over his eyes to shield them from the Arizona sun.
Patrick shook his head, unable to put into words what he was feeling as he stared out, mesmerized by the dips, crannies, and colors that made up the Grand Canyon.
“You…speechless? That’s something,” Billy commented and leaned back against the bench where they sat.
Both men were silent as they took in the view and each contemplated where they’d been and where they were going. Patrick was pretty sure that’s what everyone does when gazing out at one of the natural wonders of the world.
“Hey, bitches! Y’all just going to sit there all day or you want to do the helicopter tour I just arranged?” Jesse yelled from a few yards away, motioning for them to come get into the Jeep he’d rented.
“Your friend is a pain in the ass,” Billy commented as they walked over to the Jeep.
“He wasn’t a pain in the ass when he flew you here via private jet last night.”
“No, then he was awesome…now, a pain in the ass.” Billy climbed in the back seat and Patrick got in the front passenger seat.
Jesse smiled like a four year old as he backed the Jeep out of the parking space. “This shit is gonna be awesome, they fly you over the entire thing.”
“You’re ruining the peace and tranquility I feel while I look out at this shit,” Billy responded, irritated.
“Oh, you want to sit on the bench and look at it while me and Patrick get an aerial view?”
“No,” Billy muttered.
“You guys are like an old married couple,” Patrick commented when they arrived at the helicopter landing area.
Patrick felt at peace as Jesse parked the car and they all climbed out. This is exactly what he’d wanted, his two best friends, the Grand Canyon, and beer.
“Any of you going to pussy out?” Jesse hit Patrick in this arm.
“Fuck you dude, it’s a helicopter ride,” Patrick said. “We’re not skydiving from it.”
Jesse went over to the pilot and began talking enthusiastically about the flight. Billy pulled Patrick by the arm so that Patrick walked a few steps back toward the Jeep.
“If we die, my porn stash is in my closet in a boot box, please hide it before anyone else finds it,” Billy said with a serious expression on his face.
Patrick burst out in laughter. He’d missed Billy. He grabbed him and did a one-arm hug. “So are you glad we’re doing the bachelor party here?”
Billy’s expression changed to serious in an instant. “Yeah, man, you don’t know how much I needed this break. Work is fucked…personal shit is fucked…”
“Come on, bitches!” Jesse yelled from the helicopter, which he was hanging out of by one arm, already wearing a headset.
“To be continued…” Patrick said, walking Billy toward the helicopter with his arm over his shoulder.
All three men sat around the fire pit in the back of the house that Jesse had insisted he rent for Patrick’s bachelor party. He was marrying Marly in two months in New Orleans and was excited to
start a brand new life with her. Asking her father had been emotional for them both—her father’s a big part of Marly’s life and Patrick wanted to do right by him. After he got the okay from her dad, he planned a vacation for them both to Grand Bahama Island for a long weekend. He’d been a nervous wreck about losing the ring and making everything perfect.
They’d gone to Luciano’s and both had steaks and wine. He had too much to drink and Marly was tipsy as well. As they were making their way back to their hotel, he ducked inside a restaurant and paid a server $100 for wine, glasses and a corkscrew. They sat on the dark beach and listened to the waves come in.
Marly was wearing a white sundress with her perfect ivory breasts on display, her blonde waves falling down her back. He opened the wine and poured her glass, then pulled out a necklace that he’d bought with a one-carat diamond for her. She was elated and was hastily putting it on her neck when he got down on his knee. Confused, she looked down at him, her eyebrows drawn together adorably.
He gazed up at her, locked onto her doe eyes, and told her to listen. “You are the love of my life,” he began. “When we met, I wasn’t a good person. I was all the wrong things, but you were patient and perfect. You saved me.” He looked down at his sandaled feet and swallowed the lump in his throat. “You saved me from all the things that were tearing me apart. You swooped in and made me realize that I wanted to be whole again because I wanted to be good enough for you. I wanted to be the man you thought I was. Marly, I don’t know where I would be without you.”
Marly had tears running down her porcelain face. Then he pulled out a grey velvet box and held it out to her. She stared at it, shocked.
“I don’t want to know what it’s like to be without you again. You make my morning better. My days seem endless until I’m back home with you. You are everything, my beginning and my end. Everything…” He had different things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t remember them now, waiting on her to respond.
Instead of responding with words, she full-on tackled him and kissed him. As it happened, fireworks exploded all around them—it was midnight and there were fireworks every night at that moment. He couldn’t have planned it better. Their mouths, tasting of wine, opened and they drank each other in, drank the moment in. Once they separated, Patrick raised up on his elbow.
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