by Linda Verji
“You can pick your things up at the counter. Better keep off that park next time,” the cop flunking Carter admonished. “The mayor doesn’t take too kindly to vagrants scaring tourists away.”
“I’ll do that officer.” Carter nodded politely. “Thank you.”
The cop had barely inched away before Chryssa was on Carter’s case, “What are you doing sleeping on benches? With the money I’m paying for that apartment you better have a hell’a good ex-”
“I got kicked out,” Carter’s explained.
“Kicked out?” She narrowed her eyes at him before pronouncing judgment. “What did you steal?”
“I didn’t pinch anything.”
“I know you Carter,” she insisted her voice rising with each word. “Don’t lie to me.”
“Chryssa.” Eli butted in before she could go into a full on rage. He pulled her back with an arm around her waist. She threw him an irritated glance over her shoulder. He berated her, “Let the man explain himself.”
Chryssa opened her mouth to protest, but Eli swooped in smoothly before she could speak. “Give him some breathing space.”
She went silent though the angry barbs her eyes were throwing at her father were anything but silent. There was momentary curiosity in Carter’s eyes as he looked over Eli before explained, “Neighbors got word that I’m an ex-con. They started a petition to get me kicked out.”
What a way to take the wind out of her sails.
Petition?
It wasn’t what she was expecting. She asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Carter just shrugged.
She berated him, “You should’ve told me. I’m a lawyer I could’ve had that petition thrown out somehow.”
“It’s okay.” Carter’s lips tilted slightly, but there was a whole lot of sadness to that smile. “I don’t like staying where I’m not wanted anyway.”
If there was any double entendre in his words, she ignored it because that was just what would be happening anyway. She couldn’t let him sleep another night on the street and a hotel cost more money than she was willing to pay for him. He was just going to have to stay with her until they could get him a new apartment whose contract stated clearly that ex-cons wouldn’t be thrown out.
About thirty minutes later they got to her apartment.
She was silent as she straightened out the sheets on the bed in the guest room. Eli threw her a concerned look before tucking in the fabric on his side of the bed. “Are you sure you don’t want me to spend the night?”
“It’s okay.” Chryssa smiled self-derisively as she shook out a pale blue duvet then threw it over the bed. “You don’t need to protect him. I’m not going smack him or anything.”
The subject of the conversation, Carter, was in the kitchen wolfing down the remnants of the pizza she and Eli had bought for their movie night like it was the first meal he was having today. It probably was.
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Eli said.
Sighing she sat down on the edge of the now-spread bed. He probably thought she was being unreasonable with Carter. Every time she’d spoken to him tonight, it’d been to snap and order him around even though the arrest was not his fault. Feeling the need to explain herself she said, “I’m just so angry at him.”
Her head was bent as she played with her fingers so she didn’t see him cross to her side. The bed dipped slightly as he sat beside her then pulled her to his lap. Unresisting, she settled across his thighs laying her head on his shoulder. Soothing his hand over her back, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She wanted so badly to tell him why all her self-control disappeared whenever she was close to her father, but then that would mean also exposing her secret. She shook her head, “No.”
He was silent for a moment before raising her chin with his fingers until they were eye to eye. He said, “You know I’m always here for you if you need to talk right?”
“I know.” The small kiss on his lips before she lay her head back on his shoulder was as instinctive as it was primal. It felt good knowing there was someone there for her even if she wasn’t ready to take advantage of his offer yet. Her breath whispered over his neck, “Thank you.”
***
It was harder to find an apartment than she’d anticipated. Chryssa was too busy with work to go searching for one herself and Mickey wasn’t around. She’d asked Carter to look around, but when he’d shown her the hovel he’d picked out for himself, she’d nixed that idea. It would just have to wait until the weekend.
Living with Carter was like living with a ghost. He barely spoke, cleaned after himself so well she rarely even knew he’d been anywhere before her and whenever she came from work, he’d already cooked. If he was anyone else she would’ve said he was the perfect roommate.
If he was anyone else!
His being so close must’ve been what was stressing her out because the first signs of the stress appeared three days into his stay. Friday morning, she woke up at three in the morning instead of her usual time. She was hyped up and ready to start her day.
She was practically humming as she fired up the stove and started to fry some eggs. No! She wanted bacon. So it wasn’t healthy! A girl could treat herself once in a while, couldn’t she?
She drove all the way to the twenty four hour supermarket to get that bacon. The attendant looked at her funny when she asked him how his family was doing and gave him her card just in case they needed something. On getting home, she fried the bacon up then because she felt like it, threw in a handful of grapes into the pan slathering them in oil.
If I ever quit law, I bet I’d make a good chef.
She spent the whole day umpped up. It was a good day. She talked down Mrs. Newman into letting her husband keep his Ferari and having three days of the week with their kids. She even offered to drive the kids back to Mrs. Newman’s house herself. When Bradshaw asked her if she would give a talk at his elementary school in his place, she agreed with a smile. She felt generous enough to let Linden stand in for her at Kian, Hanna and RJs DNA testing appointment. She was on the roll.
Mickey was the first to call her out, “Something’s wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong.” She chuckled into the phone. “You worry too much.”
Mickey’s tone was grave. “Did you take your meds?”
“Yes. I just took them right now.” Her voice turned angry instantly as she snapped at him. “Get off my back.”
“I’m only worried about you.” Mickey softened his tone. “If you were okay would you ever offer to go anywhere near those kids, let alone make a speech?”
“Maybe I’ve decided to be a better person,” she argued. Mickey simply kept quiet because he knew she was still just in the initial stage of hypomania and could work it out on her own.
Chryssa knew he had a point. In her heart of hearts she knew something was wrong, but she didn’t want to believe it because she had been taking her meds religiously and doing everything right. Sighing deeply she finally acknowledged, “No, I wouldn’t.”
“Okay,” he soothed. “I’ve got a match tomorrow so I’ll fly in the day after. But when you get off the phone I want you to call your doctor and tell him what’s going on. Okay?”
“Okay,” Chryssa said. Since it was already Friday and Mickey had a weekend friendly, he wouldn’t be able to fly in until Wednesday. After winding down her conversation with him, as promised, she called Dr. Stiles. They agreed for her to come into his office the next day so that they could talk about upping her dosage.
Feeling deflated, Chryssa finished up the call then curled up in bed. She couldn’t help the slow tears that seeped into her pillow as she tried to quiet her mind.
She hated being sick.
Barely two hours later she woke up, sleep completely gone. Grapes.
Go to sleep Chryssa. She tried! She really did but the insane craving for grapes throbbed incessantly in her psyche until finally she gave up and pushed the covers
away from her body. She padded out of her room through the dark and silent hallway.
She didn’t even put the kitchen lights on. She made her way to fridge and opened the door, its light illuminating the shadowy room. The box of grapes was sitting right on the top shelf. Keeping the fridge door open for light, she sat on the kitchen island and started popping them one by one into her mouth.
“Betty loved those.”She heard his voice behind her.
Startled, she abruptly turned with grapes bulging from her left cheek, to find Carter leaning against the door. Finishing what was in her mouth, she asked, “What are you doing up?”
“Heard you walking around.”
“Loved her grapes, your mother.” There was a far away look in his eyes as he reminisced. He could reminisce on his own time. Chryssa didn’t want him talking about her mother. He’d lost the right to do that, so she silently hopped off the counter then shoved the box back into the fridge.
She was just closing the door when he added, “I remember when she was pregnant with you. Made me go get her boxes in the middle of the night.”
She paused in her actions.
What? No! Not me! No way!
CHAPTER 20
She refused to believe it.
It just wasn’t possible. She’d done everything to prevent it. How could it happen?
“You don’ know anything about my mother.” Chryssa pushed past her father angrily marching back to her room. She slammed her door hard just to let Carter know that he wasn’t allowed to say anymore stupid shit if he wanted to continue staying in her house. The banging sound as wood met wood reverberated all through the house almost like a declaration of war.
Chryssa didn’t even bother trying to go back to sleep. She simply sat on the bed stewing.
There is no possible way I could be pregnant. I’ve always been so careful. Carter’s just fucking with me to see how far he can push me before I break. He always did that with Mama too. I won’t break. Periods? Nah! They’ve always been so irregular anyway. Should I get tested? For what? No way in hell I’m pregnant. I’d know. But what if I am? No…..
Chryssa closed her eyes tightly. Her nails dug into the covers as she tried to reel in her chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order, but it didn’t work. Her eyes snapped open then swung to the stereo beside her bed. It would be so easy to turn the knob and drown out the thoughts like Betty used to do. But Chryssa knew she wouldn’t stop turning that knob once she started.
To avoid the temptation she rose from the bed then spread it. It didn’t take her long to take a cold shower then dress up in a pant-suit. Afraid that if she went into the kitchen she would end up gorging on grapes and proving Carter right, she left the apartment without taking any breakfast. She took the elevator to the parking lot before driving off towards the office.
So it was only five in the morning! Getting to work early wouldn’t hurt her. If anything the senior partners would see her putting in extra hours as a sign of commitment to her work.
Apart from a few stragglers, the roads were deserted at this time of the morning and she arrived at the office just as the night and day guards were exchanging shifts. They gave her a nod as she passed the security desk, their eyes following her curiously as she made her way towards the elevators. Unlike normal days, The Pit was as silent as a graveyard. Even the tapping of Chryssa’s heels as she made her way to the office sounded eerie.
As soon as she sat down at her seat, she put on her computer and immediately started googling. Pregnancy Symptoms , Bipolar & Pregnancy, Effectiveness of Condoms, How to know if a condom broke…
Chryssa knew she was driving herself crazy with all this research, but she couldn’t stop herself. The more searches she clicked on, the more questions she had and the more she felt compelled to start another search. The cycle went on and on and on, never ending. At one point she considered going to the pharmacy in the next building, even made her way up to the door, but she changed her mind.
Why should I get tested? I’m not pregnant.
She barely noticed her environment until around nine a.m. The printer’s whirring in warning as it coughed out the printout she’d just sent to it of all her ‘research’ was what alerted her that the office was still much too quiet yet it was already high morning.
Where was Aaron? Usually he was here before eight carrying Chryssa’s morning decaf. She used the office line to dial his number. It took about six rings before he picked up the phone with a sleepy, “Aaron Montgomery.”
“Where are you?” Chryssa berated him. “I don’t pay you to sleep around. Do you know how much work we’ve got to do today? Bradshaw’s going to be here anytime asking-”
“Chrys,” Aaron interrupted gruffly. “It’s Saturday.”
“It’s not Saturday,” she protested. She could hear a man in the background asking Aaron who was on the phone.
“Check your calendar,” Aaron insisted. Chryssa moved her mouse, letting the cursor hover on the right hand bottom of her computer screen. The day of the week popped up. It was Saturday.
She was momentarily stunned because she was not this forgetful. She stammered, “Uh… uh…I’m sorry for waking you.”
“No big deal.” Aaron yawned tiredly into the phone. “I just got into the bed right now anyway. Hey have you ever been to that new club Intox? That place was packed to the roof yesterday and the music…”
While Aaron filled her ear, her mind whirred in panic. It took everything to keep her breathing calm and listen to Aaron’s voice. By the time they finished the call, she had gotten some semblance of control. She picked her bag and headed for the elevators. Just as she was starting her car, she remembered that she had an appointment with Dr. Stiles for ten. She would be cutting it close, but if she hurried she would make it in time for her session.
No! She decided. She wasn’t going.
He would just try to convince her that she was pregnant or sick or both. And she wasn’t!
For a while she just drove around town. Dr. Stiles called but she ignored his call letting him go to voicemail. Eli called, she cut his call. They kept calling and calling and calling until she hurled the phone out her car window. The car behind her hooted madly as the device connected with the tarmac with a satisfying shutter and crunch.
She ended up at the park staring at the kids making castles in the sandboxes, the ones swinging from the monkey bars and the ones screaming as they came down the slides.
I am not pregnant.
That night she didn’t take her meds. She was sure they were only adding to the confusion that was playing its beat in her mind. Her research had also revealed that some of them might have an adverse effect on a pregnancy.
She didn’t sleep either.
She spent the night with earphones, attached to the stereo, in her ears while she rearranged her closet. Come morning her eyes were itching sleepiness but she was too amped up with excitement to sleep. Today she was helping Tasha look for a house. She almost hit a pedestrian as she raced to their meeting point.
“Are you okay?” Zain asked in concern as they walked behind the realtor and Tasha.
“Yeah! I’m good.” Chryssa smiled brightly. “Why?”
Zain looked at her searchingly, “No, there’s just something about…”
“You guys come look at this bathroom,” Tasha called out interrupting their conversation. “I could live in here.”
They followed her into the sea-blue bathroom. Ignoring the concerned looks Zain kept throwing her, she oohed, ahhed and gushed cheerfully about how the house was beautiful and if Tasha didn’t take it, she would.
It was a good time to move anyway.
The cost? Pshh. What’s money for if you can’t use it?
“So how are you and Eli doing?” Zain asked when she cornered Chryssa alone in the kitchen.
“Good, good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why? Did you hear something?” Chryssa asked, her heart beginning to beat an anxious tune
and her temper flaring. “It’s that bitch Kayla isn’t it?”
“Who’s Kayla?”
“Just some bitchy nurse who’s been trying to snatch Eli!”
“Oh!” Zain gave her a searching look. “I’m just asking because you seem a bit stressed out.”
“Me. I’m not stressed out. I’m happy. Very happy.” Out of nowhere Chryssa announced, “Eli just proposed to me.”
“Eli propo-”
“Did I hear you guys right?” Tasha said as she came into the kitchen. “Eli proposed?”
Chryssa had only said it to get Zain off her back about being stressed, but now that the word was out there it seemed good. Her and Eli engaged? It could happen.
Swearing them to secrecy, she made up a quick story about how last night he’d proposed to her at an extravagant dinner. There was a wide grin on her face as she accepted her due congratulations.
She pretended to ignore Zain who was silent unlike Tasha who was showering her with praises. However, she caught Zain’s skeptical look. Chryssa brushed it away. Jealous bitch.
“You know what we should do?” Chryssa suggested on the spur of the moment. “We should go to Las Vegas tonight and celebrate. I’m buying.”
Mickey was supposed to fly in tomorrow, but he could wait.
Tasha laughed, “Chrys, you buying? Impossible.”
“Um guys,” Zain interrupted as she clutched the bottom of her belly. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to do that.”
“Why?” Chryssa said prepared to call her out for not being supportive.
Zain pointed to the ground between her feet. There was a trail of fluid already pooling there. She huffed between gasping breaths, “I think…I th…I think my babies are against gambling.”
Her labor pains had started.
“Somebody call Lucky.”
In the midst of the panic of trying to get Zain to the car so they could get her to the hospital, Chryssa’s news got lost and everyone’s attention shifted to the pregnant bitch. Why did she always have to hog the limelight? Chryssa whispered to Tasha as they drove to the hospital, “Have you ever noticed how much of an attention seeker Zain is?”