Lose Control (Firebacks Book 3)

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Lose Control (Firebacks Book 3) Page 17

by Linda Verji


  Maybe he was just over-diagnosing.

  Maybe he was wrong.

  He hoped he was wrong.

  To Lucky, he said, “If she isn’t back by tomorrow for Harper’s case, I’m going for her.”

  “You don’t even know where she is in Oregon,” Lucky berated.

  “I’ll find out.” He not only needed to make sure she was alright, but he needed answers too.

  “You’re wasting your time. I still think she’s probably in some spa somewhere laughing her ass off at how she’s got you acting like a pussy.”

  “You’re one to talk,” Eli scoffed. “You haven’t left this hospital since your wife gave birth.”

  “That’s different. I’ve already put a ring on it.” Lucky shrugged. Zain had had to go through a C-Section and so was still in the hospital. Looking over at Eli’s still full plate, he asked, “Do you need help with that?”

  “Do you have a hollow in your leg or something?” Eli derided as he pushed his plate towards Lucky.

  Once he clocked out, he took the elevator up to check on Zain. He pushed the door open only to realize that Zain wasn’t alone. She sat propped up on the hospital bed while beside her Chryssa chuckled to something she’d just said. They both turned towards the door when they heard it squeak.

  Chryssa.

  His first emotion was relief then happiness. She’s back. That quickly changed to disappointment when he saw the smile fall off her face. It was replaced by a wary look. Even her voice sounded a bit shaky as she called out, “Eli?”

  He closed the door behind him then quickly walked towards her. Forgetting his questions, he took Chryssa in his arms. “Baby, where’ve you been?”

  She didn’t answer him and her body was stiff against him. But Eli kept holding her to him until finally she responded to the embrace. She wound her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

  It felt so good to hold her, to know that she was okay.

  Stroking her hair, he whispered, “I was so worried about you.”

  “I’m sorry.” She lifted her gaze to his. He bent to kiss her but paused midway when he saw it. If he wasn’t looking for it, he probably would’ve missed it. But he was and he didn’t miss that tiny involuntary muscle spasm beneath her right eye.

  With absolute certainty he knew.

  He hid his discovery from her by, pecking her lips with a fake smile. He gushed about how glad he was to see her, but he couldn’t help standing a little bit further from her.

  The moment Chryssa walked out of the room to go and get herself a glass of water, he turned to Zain, “Which one is it?”

  CHAPTER 23

  “Which what?” Zain tried to maintain a blank expression, but it didn’t work. Eli could see right through it. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

  Ignoring the harsh taste of betrayal in his mouth, he asked again, “Which one does Chryssa have?”

  The symptoms Chryssa was exhibiting were common to several mental disorders. He had his suspicions, but he wanted confirmation not only about what it was but that Zain hadn’t told him. Zain dropped the pretence. “Why don’t you ask her?”

  “She’s not going to tell me.” Eli’s face was the picture of calm, but on the inside anger, frustration and disappointment warred. Chryssa didn’t trust him enough to drop her bomb. He wasn’t surprised after all despite all their pretenses at friendship she’d never pretended that he was high up her trust list.

  That didn’t mean it hurt any less.

  Playing with the blue covers on the bed, Zain hedged, “I haven’t asked her which one it is.”

  “You’re a doctor and you’ve been with her longer than me,” Eli dismissed. “Which one is it?”

  “Eli, I don’t feel right talking about her when she’s not here.” Zain eyes met his.

  Under normal circumstances he would’ve understood her loyalty to Chryssa but these were abnormal circumstances and she was being disloyal to him. He persisted, “Which one is it?”

  Thick tension roped its way around the room as Zain maintained her silence. Eli watched and waited. However long it took, she was going to talk. She sighed heavily. “I think it’s bipolar.”

  He nodded curtly because that was he thought too before asking, “How long have you known?”

  “A year or two.”

  “A year or…” Eli chuckled self derisively. The laugh echoed harshly in the room grating on the nerves and ending as abruptly as it had started. A small smile that didn’t reach his eyes played on his mouth as he asked, “You’ve known this long? You saw me getting both feet into this relationship with her and you didn’t feel the need to tell me?”

  He could understand why Chryssa might want to keep her secret. Zain, however, was a different matter. They’d been friends for more than a decade and if she had any value for his friendship she would’ve warned him about Chryssa.

  “It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Zain tried to explain herself. “I thought she’d tell you when she was ready. I still think she will when she learns to trust you.”

  “What am I supposed to do while I’m waiting for that to happen?” he asked, “Keep falling in love with her?”

  His shoulders slumped and his gaze fell to the floor, seeing but not quite seeing. Was it too late to take a step back? Maybe it was the coward’s way out but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t watch someone he loved get destroyed by their own mind again.

  When he finally raised his head, there was nothing but blankness in his eyes replacing the pain of betrayal. His voice was icy as he said to Zain, “You let me fall in love with her. You knew about my mother and you let me fall in love with her.”

  “Eli, she’s my friend,” Zain pleaded.

  “And I was your friend too.” With those words he stood up and walked out of the room letting the door close silently behind him.

  CHAPTER 24

  “Thank you,” Tasha said as they stood outside Family Court the next day.

  “Don’t thank me, yet,” Chryssa returned. “It’s not over until we’ve agreed on the parental agreement.”

  “But we will,” Kian said. “I have faith in…”

  His words drifted off as Hanna passed them on the stairs. The petite woman didn’t even acknowledge them. After the backroom shenanigans she’d tried, Chryssa wasn’t surprised.

  Chryssa kissed her teeth. “We should report her.”

  “What for?” Kian shrugged. “It didn’t work.”

  “You’re right.” What was the point of dragging Hanna into another fight? Kian was officially RJ’s father and there was nothing Hanna could do about that.

  After she parted ways with Kian and Tasha, Chryssa made her way to the hospital. She wanted to share her victory with someone and couldn’t think of anyone other than Eli. It took her only a few minutes to get there. He wasn’t in his office, but she’d missed him too much not to wait for him.

  For a minute when he’d walked into Zain’s hospital room yesterday, she’d been afraid he might know. Nevertheless, when he’d held her in his arms like he still wanted her and her suspicions had been assuaged. They hadn’t had a chance to talk much yesterday because he had to work. Chryssa couldn’t wait to say a proper hi and then tell him about their surprise.

  Smiling, she pressed a palm to her tummy as she thought of his baby inside her. He’d told her that he wanted kids so she knew he was going to be happy and he’d make an amazing father. Of that she had no doubt.

  The door swung inward and Eli walked into the room. Her heart lurched at the sight of him. What was it about this man that set her pulse racing whenever she saw him? The smile still dancing on her lips, she said, “Hi,”

  “What are you doing here?”

  No ‘hello’ or ‘hey’. Just a ‘what are you doing here’. Her smile dropped. “I just wanted to say hi.”

  “Okay.” There was no teasing grin to accompany the words or even a stride over to kiss her. “Look, I’m having a busy day. Can we talk later tonight?�


  “Oh, okay.” Deflated, Chryssa rose to her feet and allowed him to hustle her out of the office. As they walked towards the parking lot she asked, “Can we have lunch, then?”

  Eli shook his head. “I’ve got rounds today. Maybe tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow seemed so far off. She wanted to be with him today. She suggested, “Why don’t you come over to my place today? Maybe we can watch a movie or do something together.”

  “I don’t think so.” Eli led the way to her car. Usually he’d guide her with a hand on the base of her spine. Today his hands were firmly tucked in his pockets as he said, “It might be too late.”

  Lateness had never mattered to him before. Chryssa was quiet as they came closer to her car. Her mind was spinning. Was she wrong? Did he know after all? Was he pulling away from her?

  Still silent she rummaged through her bag for her car keys. There was a slight beeping sound as she pressed on her keys to open her car doors. Struggling to hide the flicker of panic from her voice she asked, “Have I done something?”

  “Why would you think that?” he hedged. But he wasn’t looking at her. In fact he studiously avoided her eyes as he opened the driver’s door for her. Chryssa wasn’t stupid. She’d seen this too many times not to recognize the behavior for what it was.

  He knew and he was pulling away.

  She wanted to rail or even curse him out. But she was too hurt and the lump gathering at the back of her throat wouldn’t let her talk anyway. Silently, she got into the car. When she moved to close the door, he kept a hand on it and bent towards her. He tilted her chin up then softly kissed her lips.

  The brief the soft touch of their lips was enough to send a flutter along her nerves and even a brief moment of hope that she was wrong. When he separated their lips, Chryssa opened her eyes to find him staring at her. Tilting his lips to the side in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes he said, “I’ll see you around.”

  And with that, he withdrew from the car and shut the door. In shock Chryssa watched him walk away.

  Is he serious? What the fuck is that?

  I’ll see you around.

  Was that his equivalent of a kiss-off? If he was going to cut her out of his life she would rather he’d been a man about it. He should’ve told her straight to her face instead of that stupid kiss and the ‘I’ll see you around’.

  I’ll see you around.

  Yeah! He’ll see me fucking around.

  She backed the car from her spot, the tires squealing as she turned. Angry and feeling a perverse urge to make this as hard as possible for him, she found herself driving towards him. He turned when he heard the car hum beside him. His forehead furrowed in a frown when he saw that it was her.

  She rolled down her window then with a tight smile on her face yelled out, “I’m pregnant.”

  Enjoying his shocked expression in her rearview mirror, she sped up.

  Take that you son of a bitch.

  CHAPTER 25

  She had to be kidding!

  Who announced their pregnancy in a parking lot? Eli wanted to believe she was playing with him, but deep inside he knew she wasn’t. The one thing Chryssa had never done was lie to him. Sure, she’d held back a lot of things but she’d never lied to him.

  “Chryssa. Chryssa. Chrys.” He pounded on her door for the sixth time this evening. In frustration, he’d since moved from pressing on the buzzer to fists meeting wood. She was in there and wasn’t opening up. “Chryssa, can we talk about this.”

  She didn’t answer.

  “I’m not going anywhere until we talk this out.” He punched the door barely flinching at the immediate pain. Gone was the calm Eli. She wanted him to lose control? Well she was getting her wish today. He was spinning in emotions.

  Chryssa was carrying his baby.

  Chryssa, the woman he’d resolved to walk away from, was carrying his baby.

  “Open the damn door.” Eli slammed his fist into the door again as he threatened, “If you don’t, I’ll find a way to get in and you won’t like it.”

  He raised his hand to pound on the door again, but it unceremoniously swung inwards. He almost fell in when a whoosh of air met his fist instead of hard wood. Only fast instincts kept him from accidentally knocking out Chryssa.

  She stood at the door in just her sleeping shorts and a t-shirt. She had a tub of ice-cream tucked underneath one arm and a spoon hanging from her mouth. The expression on her face was inscrutable.

  “Can we talk for a min-” He took an instinctive step back when he saw her hand move. Instead of hitting him, she slapped a yellow sticky note on his shirt then stepped back into the house and slammed the door in his face so hard he could feel the vibration of its hinges in his sensible oxfords. He peeled the note from his snow white shirt. It read:

  I’ll see you around.

  He stared at the note in confusion until finally it hit him. Those had been his last words to her in the parking lot.

  “Damn!” Eli ran a frustrated hand over his close shaved hair as he paced in front of her door. How could he have been so stupid?

  He hadn’t meant to break up with her like that. He’d planned a dinner where he would calmly explain why they couldn’t date anymore.

  He was going to tell her why he just couldn’t stand the thought of watching her hurting during her depression periods and not knowing how to make her feel better. He couldn’t stand being the one who had to make the decisions to commit her when she broke – as she surely would. He couldn’t stand the thought of other people watching her with pity in their eyes and branding her defective and not being able to yell at them that she was a confident, strong woman. He wouldn’t be able to handle those times when he couldn’t hold or touch her when she turned on him. He just wouldn’t.

  He didn’t know if she would’ve understood, but he had the feeling that she would’ve understood that talk much more than the curt dismissal he’d given her.

  I’ll see you around.

  How could he have been so stupid?

  ***

  Go fuck yourself. Eli stared at the message Chryssa had just sent him in response to the one where he’d asked for a chance to talk to her.

  “Are you sure she’s the one you want?”Bradshaw drew Eli’s attention. “We have several other associates who deal with personal accounts. In fact someone in finance would be more suited as your liaison with our firm.”

  “I’m sorry I just wouldn’t be comfortable having someone else handling my account.” Eli smiled politely.

  “You’re the boss,” Bradshaw said before ordering his PA to call Chryssa up to his office.

  Minutes later, she walked into the office. The moment she saw him seated across Bradshaw’s desk, she came to a screeching halt. “What’s he doing here?”

  “Come in. Come in, Chryssa.” Bradshaw motioned her into the room. Chryssa didn’t move from the door but Bradshaw, either unaware of the tension slowly but surely winding its way around them or ignoring it, continued speaking, “You know Dr. Stone don’t you? He tells me that you two are good friends.”

  After days of trying to talk to her, Eli had decided to take drastic action. She couldn’t refuse to talk to him if she was working for him.

  Chryssa looked amazing. The knee-length royal blue shift dress brought out the rich tones of her skin and snugly fitted over her curves. His eyes lingered over her belly. There was no discernible bump yet, but he knew what was in there. His baby.

  Her gaze took a slow tour down his body before the side of her mouth lifted derisively. “Does he?”

  Bradshaw explained the situation to a silent Chryssa. She didn’t need to say anything for Eli to feel the anger rolling in waves off of her.

  “I don’t deal with personal accounts,” she snapped when Bradshaw finished explaining what Eli wanted.

  “I’m sure you could make an exception for Dr. Stone.”

  “I don’t think so.” The sharpness would’ve cut into steel.

  “Excuse us for a mo
ment while we talk about this.” Bradshaw smiled at Eli as he stood up. He led Chryssa outside his office. Eli could see the two of them arguing through the half open door with Chryssa gesturing towards the office and shaking her head.

  As expected, when they came back, Bradshaw was smiling and Chryssa was in full sulk. Bradshaw said, “Miss Williams will be glad to handle your account. I’ve asked my assistant to set up the boardroom for you so that you can discuss the specifics.”

  Chryssa didn’t speak as she took the file Bradshaw handed her. Silently, she walked ahead of him towards the boardroom. Once the door closed behind them, she paced the length of the boardroom angrily. Tense silence hovered between them as Eli watched her.

  Finally she stopped pacing the room and turned to face him, sparks of anger snapping from her eyes, “You are fucking unbelievable. This is low even for you.”

  Eli explained calmly, “You wouldn’t let me into your house. You wouldn’t pick my calls. I just want to talk to-”

  “We have nothing to talk about,” she interrupted, her voice tight with anger. “You said everything you needed to.”

  She threw the file at him. Sheets of documents spilled from the black folder as it hit his chest, fluttering to the floor. “Chryssa, please.”

  He pulled her a seat but she pushed it towards him with her foot in a huff. “We have nothing to say to each other.”

  Shrugging he pulled up one for himself and sat down, turning it slightly to face her. He said, “Pregnant is not nothing. You drop a bomb like that on me and you expect me to just walk away?”

  “You were walking away anyway, you asshole.”

  “I didn’t plan to do it that way.” His voice softened. “I shouldn’t have done it that way. I’m sorry.”

  His words seemed to deflate her. The anger drained from her eyes replaced by hurt. Shaking her head, she dropped to the seat she had just a minute ago pushed away. “I can’t believe I thought you were a man.”

  He could’ve handled the anger, but the hurt and disappointment was far worse.

  She shrugged. “Fine if this is the only way to completely get you gone then let’s talk. Let’s talk about the fact that a crazy woman is pregnant with your baby. “

 

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