Up by Hearth House we heard a scream. We could all recognize Cissil’s voice. Then a metallic clang. The slam of a door. Another scream. Silence.
“The goat door,” whispered Sister Nummel. “They have come through the goat door.”
“Hearth House.” I could barely get the words out. That is where Cissil, Joem, and Sister Ers slept.
Two figures came hurrying down Moon Steps followed by a dark, flapping shape. Mother, Dori, and Bird.
“Up to the Temple Yard,” Mother called without stopping. “They have surrounded us. I saw them from the Moon Yard. Some are waiting outside the main gate in case we try to escape. But they cannot have got through there. They must have come through the goat door.”
Jai and I were back into Novice House before she had even finished her sentence.
“Get out. The men are here. Up to the Temple Yard this instant.”
I picked up Leitha, the littlest one, took Heo by the hand, and ran. Jai came after me leading Ismi and Paene by the hand, and I saw Ennike pulling Sirna along with her. I could hear the sound of running feet behind me as all the other novices followed behind. Sister Nummel was waiting for us outside, counting us as we ran past.
Eve Steps had never felt so long. Leitha gripped my neck so tightly I almost choked. I had to slow down so that Heo could keep up. I could barely see where to put my feet in the darkness and I stumbled many times, hitting my shins and stubbing my toes.
At last we got to the top. Mother and all the sisters were gathered in the Temple Yard.
“I cannot allow that,” I heard Mother whisper to the Rose as I stopped beside them. “Never.”
“They are going to do it anyway,” said the Rose. She looked very rigid and pale. “You know it. This way at least I can protect the others.” Her eyes ran over me and the other novices behind me and back to Mother’s face. “The little ones.”
“Eostre,” Mother said, her voice barely a whisper.
“I am not Eostre any more. I am servant to the Rose, I am the Maiden incarnate. This is my domain.”
“We have to block the stairs,” said Sister O brusquely. “Now. They are already down in the central courtyard, can you not hear them? They are searching Novice House and Body’s Spring.”
“That is impossible,” said Sister Loeni. “We will never make it in time.”
“We have to try.”Mother turned to me. “Maresi, remember what I asked you. Take the children to Knowledge House. Take them down into the crypt. It is the safest place on the island. We can only hope they do not realize too soon that it is a door. Barricade it from the inside if you can. And take Jai. Goddess be with you.” Mother looked sternly at the other older novices. “Do you want to go with Maresi and Jai?”
I hoisted Leitha farther up on my hip. “Come! Hurry up!” I could hear aggressive shouts and vulgar laughter coming from down in the central courtyard and started edging back toward Knowledge House.
Ennike shook her head. “Not me. If no one of Jai’s age stays here they will be suspicious. They will search for you. But if some of us stay here maybe we can fool them.”
“I will stay too,” said Dori. Toulan nodded without a word.
I could not wait any longer. Once I had opened the doors to Knowledge House and ushered in the little ones I glanced over my shoulder. The sisters were in the Temple Yard facing the steps, forming a wall in front of the novices. Mother stood at the front with arms raised high.
None of the novices came with us.
Jai and I locked the door behind us and hurried into Knowledge House with the little ones in our arms and holding our hands. We stopped at the door to the crypt. The only way to distinguish the door from the rest of the corridor is by the writing, which was difficult to make out in the dim light.
“How do you open it?” Jai whispered.
“I have never been inside,” I answered quietly. Standing so close to the realm of the Crone was making me feel dizzy. “But Sister O said that all you have to do is know it is a door.”
I put my hand over the writing and pressed. Without a sound, a large section of stone slid inward and revealed a staircase leading down into pitch-darkness. An ice-cold draft made the little girls shiver. Otherwise they were very calm. Maybe they did not entirely understand what was happening. They did not cry or complain. But I could feel the Crone’s breath and I gulped.
“Are we going down there?” asked Heo.
“Yes, but we need light,” I answered. “Otherwise we could fall and hurt ourselves. Jai, take the girls inside while I fetch lamps. If you hear anything shut the door behind you immediately.”
Jai ushered the girls in through the doorway and I ran down the corridor to the classroom where we keep lamps and tinderboxes for our occasional evening lessons. As, with shaking hands, I picked up two oil lamps, I heard a sound coming from the yard that I had not heard for years.
The sound of a man’s voice.
I had to know what was happening. I put the lamps down on the table quietly and crept over to the window.
The men had come up Eve Steps. I could not see their faces properly in the light of the thin crescent moon. They were like a dense mass of darkness in front of Mother, who stood with raised arms and her gray hair loose down her back. The sisters stood behind her, and behind them were the novices, shivering in their nightgowns like petals on apple flowers. The men were an undulating mass of barely restrained violence, ready at any moment to rip the petals apart and throw them into the sea, dash them against the rocks, spear them on their sharp weapons that glinted in the moonlight. I saw wild blond beards, shaved heads, hands tattooed with peculiar symbols.
Mother had no defense against attack, only her outstretched hands.
“Men are forbidden on this island.” Her voice was so clear and sharp that it cut through the rattle of steel and angry voices, through the windowpanes separating me from the yard.
“Men are forbidden in this Abbey.” Her voice did not falter. It was as clear as the clang of the Blood bell. “Leave at once. Go back to your ship. Sail away and you will live as long as your life thread allots to you.”
I could see Mother’s profile. She looked resolute and authoritative. Her voice made the men hesitate. It stopped them drawing their daggers and advancing. They remembered the eerie lull before the sudden storm. They backed up.
Then one man pushed past the others. He had fair clipped hair and a well-trimmed beard. I could not distinguish the color of his clothes but his jacket had a richly embroidered collar and his dagger had a decorated shaft. I knew who he was at once.
Jai’s father.
“Where is she? Where is that little whore?”
When he came face to face with Mother and all her strength and solemnity, he hesitated but did not retreat. He tightened his grip on the shaft of his dagger.
“Give me what is mine, woman, and I will leave you unharmed and in peace.”
But the look in his eyes told a different story.
“You are mistaken,” said Mother calmly, her hands still held high. They did not quiver. “There is nothing of yours here. And it is you and your men who will suffer harm.”
Jai’s father raised his hand and knocked Mother aside, and his men gasped in fear, but nothing happened.
“Stop whimpering like dogs,” he roared. He leaned in towards Mother. “Where is she? Where is my—” he spat out the word “—daughter?”
“She is my daughter now,” Mother answered calmly. “Leave.”
“Quiet!” bellowed Jai’s father and turned to his men. “Search the buildings. Okret, take one group. Vinjan, take some men with you. You know who you are looking for.”
The men drew their daggers. A few came and surrounded the sisters and novices. One of them, who seemed to be the leader, stood very close to Sister O and the Rose. He was wearing a jacket that shone like silk in the moonlight and he had a two-pronged beard that was so blond it was almost white. A saw-toothed dagger as long as my forearm hung from his belt. He had
many tattoos on his hands and forehead. He stared hard at the Rose. The Rose was turned toward the ocean and staring out with unseeing eyes.
The other men were led away by two men in similar clothes to Jai’s father, one old, one young. They soon returned.
“The houses are empty, Brother,” said the older man and stood next to Jai’s father. “Nobody is there.”
“But that house is locked, Uncle,” said the younger man, pointing at Knowledge House. He wore a black jacket like Jai’s father. He did not look up at his uncle; instead he looked over to the sisters, then down at the ground, and ran his fingers nervously over the dagger in his belt.
“So go and get something to break down the door!” roared Jai’s father. “Now!”
I jumped down from the windowsill and snatched the lamps and tinderboxes.
I kicked off my sandals and ran silently through the corridor back to the crypt. I could hear the sound of men’s voices outside the door, more muffled than before. I could not make out the words. They would soon find something to break down the door. Very soon.
When I joined the others, Jai had already heard the men’s voices and did not waste a second in closing the door behind me. It shut without a sound. Only then did I dare light the oil lamps. Pale faces met me in the low light. The flickering flames lit up gray stone walls and a winding staircase. We dared not speak; we just went down one by one in silence. I had no choice but to swallow my fear and go first. The staircase was not long and when we came to the bottom I think we were about level with the central courtyard. The stairs led into a long, narrow room with a low ceiling, natural stone walls and alcoves along both sides. The room was cold and undecorated, but it was not abandoned. The floor was swept clean and a little altar was set up in the middle of the room with gifts to the Crone: a winter apple from last autumn, some beautiful moonstones, and a shed snakeskin.
Jai and I held out our lamps and took a few tentative steps inside the room. The light glowed in the alcoves. The recesses contained the remains of all the sisters who had lived and died on Menos. The Crone’s shadows were hiding between the bones and in the skulls’ dark eye sockets. I had never felt her presence so strongly before, not even during Moon Dance. I could not see the door to her realm, but I knew it was there, ever waiting, biding its time. The little girls kept close to me and Jai, quiet and solemn. The room was very long and the far end was in darkness.
“I cannot see anything to barricade the door with,” said Jai, lifting the lamp. I swallowed and shook my head.
“We can only hope they do not find it.”
When we reached the far end of the room we saw that it was not a room at all, but a natural cave, part of a whole cave system, which the sisters had chiseled and shaped into a crypt for their dead. The short side of the cave was blocked with a large wooden door, rotten with age. Next to it there were seven alcoves, which were a little bigger than the others, each laid with fresh flowers. The names of the dead were written on brass plaques. Kabira. Clarás. Garai. Estegi. Orseola. Sulani. Daera. After each name there was an ornate mark. Maybe an I.
I told the junior novices to sit down, and Jai and I put our lamps down on the ground. The girls arranged themselves in a neat little circle as if they were having a picnic on White Lady’s slopes. When I sat down Heo immediately crawled into my lap.
“Will the men come down here?” asked Ismi.
“Don’t be silly,” answered Heo assuredly. “Maresi is here. They would not dare. And if they do try,” she gave a great big yawn, “don’t you remember the Moon women? They will probably come and roll boulders down on them again.”
Soon they all fell asleep resting on one another, with heads on knees and arms around waists.
Jai could not keep still. She walked the length of the crypt until she disappeared in the darkness, turned around and paced back, over and over again. Her eyes were wild and her fists tightly clenched.
She saw me watching her and came up to me.
“It is my fault that the Abbey is being destroyed. You are all going to die, and I am the one who brought death here. I should never have come.” She stretched a hand toward me. “Give me the key to the main door. I will go out now and surrender myself. Maybe he will spare everybody else.” She smiled an unbearably hopeless little smile. “If there is anyone still out there to spare.”
“You are not going.” I carefully shifted Heo’s head and she sighed lightly in her sleep. “Not now, not ever. Mother is taking care of us. You must have faith that she will not let anything happen.”
I did not even know if I believed what I was saying. I wanted to believe it. Mother had already chased the men away once.
But this time she had failed. The men had gotten onto the island. They were in the Abbey with their shining weapons.
Jai stood in front of me with her hand still stretched out and jaws tightly clenched.
“Give me the key! I do not want your blood on my hands!”
“Shh. You will wake up the little ones. The men cannot get in here. Do you not remember the story? We are protected in Knowledge House.”
At that very moment there was a terrible crash. It came from the house above us, and the sound echoed all around the mountain.
Jai’s eyes met mine.
“The main door!”
“You cannot go anywhere now or the men will discover our hiding place and find the little ones. We stay here until Mother comes and gets us.”
I sounded more decisive than I felt. The chill of the door, the breath of the Crone. She was waiting. She was craving her offering. I did not even know if there was anyone left to come and get us.
Anyone who was not carrying shining weapons.
I was woken by an indistinct noise. I was sitting with my back against the cool stone wall and Heo weighing on my legs. I could not believe I had actually slept. It felt like a betrayal of everybody else outside. I was sure none of them was sleeping. If they were even still alive.
I carefully leaned forward to turn up the oil lamps, and I realized one of them was missing. So was Jai.
I gently lifted Heo off my knee. She woke up anyway and made a sleepy little noise like a kitten.
“What is it, Maresi?”
“Shh, do not wake the others. I am going to see where Jai has gone.”
“She is probably exploring the caves,” said Heo in a muffled voice. She curled up with her head on Ismi’s feet. “I saw her looking before.”
At first I did not understand what she meant. But then I noticed that some of the rotten boards in the door at the end of the crypt had been broken off.
I looked around. I could not take the lamp with me because the girls would be scared in the dark. One of the dry, brittle board stumps lay on the ground.
I carefully poured a dash of oil from the lamp onto the board and held it to the flame. It caught fire immediately.
“Heo, I will be back soon,” I said. She mumbled in response. I ducked through the hole Jai had made and into the darkness.
The cave was even narrower here; more like a long passage with an uneven floor that sloped gently upward. I held the board high enough that the flame would not dazzle me, though in reality it was more for a sense of security than to light my way. I ran my free hand along the wall. I could not leave the little ones alone for long. But I could not let Jai surrender herself to her father.
I thought of what Sister O had said about people’s responsibility for their own lives, and the evil things they do to one another. I quickened my pace.
The flame flickered and died. I stopped still. Darkness pressed in on me from all sides. A darkness as dense as the one I knew was on the other side of the Crone’s door.
Or almost as dense. Far off in the distance there was a faint glow of warm yellow light. I threw down the board and began to run toward the light, feeling my way along the walls of the passage with my hands.
I eventually found Jai standing still and looking up with her lamp raised high. “There, you see,”
she said when I reached her, out of breath. She pointed upward. “The night sky. There is a way out.”
“You mustn’t, Jai,” I said when I had caught my breath. “You are one of us now. You do not belong to him anymore.”
“That is why I must do it,” she said and turned to me. She was incredibly calm. “Because I am one of you. Because you are as dear to me as Unai.” The lamp lit her face from below and her eyes looked like inky black wells. “You have to help me up.”
“Never.”
We looked at each other. She was not going to give in, I could see that. But without my help she could not reach the hole in the ceiling. I looked up and saw that the sky was pale with the first hour of dawn. Some spidery branches were swaying in the light sea breeze.
“I know where that is,” I said slowly. “It is on the mountainside just above the Temple of the Rose. I found the hole yesterday.”
I had to think of a way to stop Jai surrendering to her father. She had made up her mind and nothing I said could sway her. If I did not help her out here she would go back and leave through the main door.
The Crone was murmuring in the darkness around us. Her words tasted of death. Above my head there was light, sky, and fresh sea breeze—a way to escape the Crone’s door.
“I could climb up and see what is happening. Maybe they are giving up.” I looked at Jai and hoped she would not protest. “But then you have to stay with the little ones. Keep them safe and calm. They are your sisters now, Jai. I will come back soon and tell you what I saw.”
Jai was quiet for a long time. The lamp’s glow distorted her features and I could not read what she was thinking. At last she gave a quick nod, set down the lamp, and interlaced her fingers. I put my foot in her hands and, with arms strong from months of hard work around the Abbey, she heaved me up. I grabbed hold of a tree root and found footing in a dent in the craggy rock wall. I climbed up a little way, and clung on tight between darkness and light. I could not find any holds so I had to grope around with my hand until I found something I hoped would take my weight. I lifted myself farther up and got some purchase on the tree root. I was not far from the surface now. I could see the roots and branches that had stopped me from falling the night before. The rocky wall was not entirely vertical and I found holds for my fingers, knees, and toes, and scrambled my way up. As I reached the roots I used their hairy tangles to pull myself farther up and out into the dawn. Once I had emerged I turned around to poke my head down the hole.
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