Make Love Not War

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by Margaret Tanner


  He was two years older than her, but no brother and sister could have been closer, even though their jealous mother had tried to drive a wedge between them. He was her only living relative now. Their father had been killed in the last days of the Second World War.

  Their mother had died about three years ago. While she lived, things were relatively easy for them financially, as the government provided her with a war widow’s pension and allowances for their education. On her death the government money stopped, and by the time the estate had been settled there was nothing left.

  Andy had volunteered to throw in his studies, but she couldn’t let him do it. His heart was set on following in their father’s footsteps and becoming an army officer. After much arguing, she had finally persuaded him to stay in school until he got his commission.

  Many of his army mates received allowances from their families as well as their government payment. He didn’t, but somehow managed to survive on his army pay. She smiled when she remembered him saying, “I don’t take girls out, so that saves me heaps.”

  After flicking through several racks of clothes she found an ice-blue dress with a pleated skirt, the pure silk yolk was embossed with gold. It was frightfully expensive, but a justifiable extravagance because she wanted Andy to be proud of her, and she didn’t need to spend money on accessories because she had shoes and a matching bag at home. With her dress box in her hand, she hurried outside to catch a bus back to work.

  The mad race to her office had her breath coming out in labored pants. The phone rang and she dashed towards it. “Mr. Harrington’s secretary. May I help you?”

  “Good afternoon, Alexander Harrington here. Put me through to my son, please?”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington, but he won’t be back from lunch until about two. May I take a message, or ask him to ring back?”

  “Yes, my dear, get him to call me as soon as he comes back, er, it’s Miss Dennison, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, I’m Caroline Dennison.”

  “I thought so. My wife liked the black opal you helped my son choose.”

  She almost said your son didn’t help; I went shopping on my own, but restrained herself. “I’m glad. I thought it was beautiful.” So it ought to be, considering the price, sinful spending so much money on a piece of jewelry. “Is there anything I can help you with, Mr. Harrington?”

  “No thank you, this is a family matter. Get him to call me the moment he arrives back. Goodbye.” The phone went dead.

  Harrington Senior seemed a nice man, never anything but polite. A pity his son didn’t take after him. She hurried to the kitchen, made a cup of coffee and took it back to her office. I’ll have to stop this rushing around all the time otherwise I’ll end up having a nervous breakdown.

  She made several telephones calls, chasing up a consignment of missing timber they needed for a new housing estate. How several loads of timber could get lost was a mystery. Someone stole it most likely.

  At three o’clock Bryce strolled into her office. Why he always came through here instead of using his own private entrance she could never fathom. Wanted to catch her slacking on the job, maybe?

  “Any calls for me?”

  “Yes, your father rang. He wants you to call him straight away. Other than that, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.”

  He scowled. “What on earth does he want? Couldn’t you help him?”

  “I offered to, but he said it was a family matter.”

  “All right, thanks.”

  “I’ve finished your typing. Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

  “I have to give a speech at a business dinner on Monday night. I’d like you to type it up for me.”

  He strode into his office and returned with a sheaf of papers. “Do it in double spacing, will you? A rough draft will be fine, thanks.” He turned on his heel and went back to his office.

  Caroline glanced at the notes. He always used black ink and wrote atrociously. How on earth would she be able to decipher any of it?

  She started typing on a plain piece of foolscap paper, stopping every now and again to study what he wrote. On the second page of the speech an alteration had several extra words squeezed in. No matter how hard she tried, even using a magnifying glass, she couldn’t decipher it, so she’d have to go and ask him to clarify it.

  She crossed the carpeted floor of her office and knocked on his door.

  “Come in.” As she pushed open the door and walked in she heard Bryce snarl. “I’m not taking her to the dinner. I don’t give a damn whose daughter she is. I already have a date.”

  He stopped speaking, but scowled. The person on the other end of the phone didn’t seem to be saying what he wanted to hear.

  “I’m telling you, I’ve already asked someone to accompany me,” he ground the words out. “And no, she’s not some empty-headed actress.” His anger bounced off the walls of his office. He gripped the phone, obviously trying to keep his temper in check but failing miserably.

  “Who?” He shot her a ferocious look. “Caroline,” he snapped. “Yes, my secretary. I might need her to take some notes. I’m busy. I’ll see you Monday night.” He slammed the phone down.

  “My father,” he growled. “If you’re doing anything on Monday night, please cancel it. You’re accompanying me to a business dinner.”

  “I am?”

  “That’s what I said, isn’t it? I’d rather put up with you than some bimbo my mother has lined up for me.”

  “I could have another engagement on Monday night.” She wouldn’t have cared if royalty were visiting. She’d have put them off to go out with Bryce, but pride stopped her from saying so.

  “You’ll have to cancel it. I’ll call for you about seven. Have you got something suitable to wear? You’ll need an after-five frock.”

  Before Caroline could frame an answer, he continued. “Give me the sundry accounts checkbook. I’ll write you out a check so you can go buy yourself something decent.”

  “You don’t have to pay for my clothes.” How humiliating. Did he think she was trailer-park trash who didn’t know how to dress properly?

  “I’m not buying your clothes.” His lip curled with derision. “The company is. We’ll claim it as a tax deduction.”

  Dumbstruck, she meekly handed over the checkbook and he wrote out a check. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Surely he couldn’t mean it—four hundred dollars?

  “It’s too much. I don’t need to pay that much for a dress.” She felt so embarrassed her face was probably as red as a beetroot.

  Momentarily his eyes registered surprise, then his lips compressed. “If I’m escorting you anywhere, you’ll need at least that much. I won’t be seen with a woman who isn’t elegant.” His voice had an edge to it. “What did you come in to see me for? Not my scintillating company, I’m sure.”

  “Oh.” She had forgotten about his speech. “I couldn’t decipher your writing.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with my writing.”

  Who was he trying to kid? She pointed out the words she couldn’t understand.

  “Let’s see.” His sudden grin chased away the somber shadows marring his handsome face. “I can’t read it myself. Oh, well.” He gave a careless shrug. “We’ll change it.” He proceeded to do so. “There, when you’ve finished typing that out, you can leave early and shop around for a dress.”

  “Mr. Harrington, I don’t need the money. I bought an after-five frock at lunch time because I’m going out to dinner at Marianne’s tomorrow. I’m sure it would be suitable for Monday’s dinner.”

  “Well, well, fancy that, a woman who isn’t trying to squeeze as much money as she can out of a man.”

  “Not every female is trying to see how much she can gouge out of a man.”

  He gave a cynical laugh. “All the women I know check a man’s bank balance before going out with him. You’re a rarity, little Miss Prim, and I still want you to buy a dress. Call it an early Christmas present. You’
ve earned it. I’m the first to admit I’m not an easy man to work for.”

  “Thank you.” Caroline accepted the check and returned to her desk. When she had finished typing out the speech, she took it in to him. “Is there anything else that needs doing?”

  “No thanks. You might as well go now. By the way, what number is your apartment?”

  “Three.”

  “Good. See you around seven.”

  At four o’clock she gathered together her dress box and bag. Standing in the elevator, she debated about what type of dress to buy. If she got something sophisticated, he might see her as a woman. What foolishness, thinking he’d notice her. That wouldn’t happen, regardless of what she wore. It was pitiful, this yearning she felt for him, this obsession to be more than a mere secretary.

  She wanted to be the woman he loved, the mother of his children. Stop torturing yourself? You can’t even attract and hold an ordinary man, let alone one as extraordinary as this.

  It seemed ridiculous to be buying another dress. She alighted from the bus in the city center and wandered around until she found a small boutique specializing in after-five wear. She approached the saleslady. “Could you help me select an after-five frock? I’m going to an important function with my boss, and I haven’t a clue what to wear.”

  “There’s a markdown rack over there,” the woman said helpfully. “Anything on it would be suitable.”

  “Thanks. I’ve got a check here from my boss.” Caroline pulled it out of her bag.

  “No problem at all. We’d be happy to accept it.”

  Browsing through a rack of markdowns, she found an apricot silk jersey dress, fitted at the bust, with shoestring straps that left her shoulders bare. The skirt fell into soft swirls at knee level. A wispy see-through bolero top completed the outfit.

  The price took her breath away. Even though it had been marked down there wasn’t much change left from four hundred dollars. Thank goodness she didn’t need to buy new shoes or a bag. With the two boxes clutched in her hand, she strolled to the bus stop.

  On arrival home, she hung the dresses up. Wait until Kerry saw them, she would be green with envy! Every Friday Kerry brought home hot fish and chips. It was a late shopping night and the department stores stayed open until nine o’clock. Trevor often worked late, so the girls caught up on their housework instead of spoiling their weekend by having to do it.

  Kerry arrived home right on six o’clock, bringing the fish and chips with her. Caroline rushed to greet her, eager to tell her friend about the dresses.

  “Fancy Mr. High-and-Mighty giving you the money for a new dress,” Kerry said. “It’s reasonable when you think about it, though. After all, you are on company business, and he wouldn’t want you to look shabby. Could reflect poorly on him,” she sneered. “He does have an image to live up to, or at least he thinks he does.”

  “He’s picking me up at seven on Monday,” Caroline went on happily.

  “Yeah, well, don’t get too worked up about it, he’s only using you. He’ll have you taking notes all night.”

  “I can’t decide how to wear my hair on Monday. What do you think?”

  Kerry snorted. “What about Saturday night? Look, Caro, Saturday should mean more to you than Monday. Andy doesn’t have much money, but he wants to take you somewhere special. Harrington is loaded and he’s taking you to some lousy business dinner that he’s not even paying for.”

  “Sorry. I’m acting like an idiot. I seem to lose control of my faculties whenever I think of Bryce. It’s pathetic.” Caroline held her head in her hands. “I only wish I could stop loving him.”

  Chapter Four

  “Hi girls.” Andy greeted Caroline and Kerry with his usual enthusiasm when he arrived at their apartment on Saturday morning. “I have to be back at camp by Sunday night.”

  “You can sleep on the couch here, it’s quite comfortable,” Caroline said.

  “Thanks. One of my mates dropped me off about ten miles from here, so I hitched the rest of the way,” he explained with a grin.

  He was very fair, with corn-colored hair and deep blue eyes. Their mother used to gush about his prettiness when he was a child. Nothing feminine about him now, Caroline decided, after surviving a rib-cracking hug.

  He had matured over the last twelve months and now had a determined jut to his chin, his youthful features disappearing as the army molded him into a man. Her heart filled with pride. But what if the army sent him to the jungles of Vietnam? His potential might never be fully achieved. Icy fingers of dread played up and down her spine. Fear filled her heart. War and Dennison men were a tragic mix.

  “What’s for lunch?” He flung himself down in a chair. “I’m starving.”

  “Spaghetti on toast.” Kerry grabbed a can out of the cupboard and waved it around.

  “That sounds good to me.”

  Caroline had once hoped Andy and Kerry might become an item, even with Kerry’s anti-war views, but he treated her in a casual, big-brother fashion, and she reacted like a fond sister. It disappointed her that there were no romantic sparks between them whatsoever.

  They ate their spaghetti, washed down with cups of coffee.

  Trevor arrived at about one-thirty to take them for a drive. He hadn’t met Andy before, but after an initial period of awkwardness between army officer and pacifist, they got on well.

  “Where will we go?” Trevor asked.

  “What about Elwood Beach, even if it isn’t hot enough to swim,” Kerry suggested. Trevor wore casual jeans and a T-shirt, Kerry and Caroline jeans and lacy tops. Glancing at Andy in his faded jeans and too-tight T-shirt, Caroline knew no one would pick him out as an army officer. Safer that way. Violent elements had infiltrated the ranks of genuine anti-war protesters, and she didn’t want him caught up in any nastiness.

  After a short drive, they arrived at the beach and spread their rug on the white sand. The girls rolled up the legs of their jeans to let the sun warm their bare skin and Caroline was glad she had recently shaved her legs.

  “We should have worn hats,” Trevor said. “It’s hotter than I thought.” He pulled a packet of cigarettes from his jeans pocket and offered them to Andy.

  “No thanks mate. I don’t smoke.”

  “Looks like I’ll have to enjoy a coffin nail on my lonesome.” Trevor lit his cigarette and smoked it with enjoyment.

  Elwood Beach being a short drive from Melbourne was popular and crowded, even on a day like this. Several children paddled in the water, although most of them built castles or dug in the warm sand.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” Trevor suggested.

  As Caroline sauntered along the water’s edge with the others, the waves lapped over her feet. Seagulls flew around them, squawking loudly. Some of these birds were tame, having been fed scraps of bread from beachgoers.

  “Sorry, mate, I haven’t got anything for you to eat,” Andy said to one venturesome gull hopping near his foot. Obviously finding this human a lost cause, the bird flew away.

  On the way back to where they had left the rug, Kerry and Trevor held hands and whispered together.

  “How have you been?” Andy asked Caroline.

  “Fine.”

  “You seem different, sort of sad or something. You wouldn’t be keeping anything from me, would you? I mean, if anything is troubling you, you’d tell your big brother, right?”

  “I’m okay, honestly. Except, I’ve got a crush on someone who doesn’t know I exist.” She gave a rueful smile.

  “Is that all?” He laughed with relief. “But I mean it, you have changed. It’s subtle, but there is something just the same.”

  “Do you think they might send you to Vietnam after you graduate?” she asked, trying to keep the worry out of her voice.

  “I don’t know, but I hope so.” He thrust his hands in his pockets. “They’re conscripting thousands to increase the size of the army, so they’ll need officers to lead them. I’d prefer to fight with volunteers, though.”


  “You don’t agree with conscription?”

  “No. None of the men I’m with like it. We don’t think it is right, conscripting men to fight overseas against their will. Drawing their birth dates out of a barrel is criminal.” His eyes burned fiercely. “It could turn into a death lottery. I wouldn’t want to have that kind of blood on my hands.”

  She was glad when they caught up with the other two and the discussion ended. The whole Vietnam War issue worried her as she battled with her conscience. If it wasn’t for Andy being in the army, and being disloyal to him, she would probably have joined the anti-war protesters.

  They lounged around until the cool wind turned cold. Trevor dropped them off at the apartment. “I’ll be back about six to pick you up.”

  Andy was showered and dressed in his uniform, sitting at the table reading the evening papers, when the girls finished getting ready. He whistled his approval on seeing them.

  “Wow, Trev and I will have to fight off every male under forty,” he teased.

  Caroline felt pleased with her appearance. The dress certainly flattered her figure as it clung in all the right places, and the pale blue material emphasized the color of her eyes. She had applied a light liquid makeup, blue eye shadow and a pink pearl lipstick. Her hair, newly washed and dried, fell in a soft cape about her shoulders.

  Kerry’s cream georgette tunic had a metallic gold trim. She strutted up and down in front of Andy, pretending to be a model on the catwalk. “Aren’t you the handsome soldier boy?” She gave him a mock salute.

  Trevor arrived a short time later, looking smart in a brown suit and tie with a beige self-striped shirt. “Wow, you girls look terrific.” He turned to Andy with a grin. “Do I have to salute you?”

  “No, mate, I’ll let you off this time.”

  They arrived at Marianne’s restaurant, where without any fuss or fanfare a dinner-suited waiter escorted them to their table. All the tables were set around a circular dance floor. A pink piano reposed on a stage up at the front.

 

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