by Vaughn, Eve
“Pregnancy certainly suits you. You look lovely.”
“Thanks.”
“I, er, see that your cast is still on.”
“Yeah, two more weeks and I’ll have it removed. Then I’ll wear an arm brace for a little while.”
“Oh. I stopped by your office a few times. They said you were taking some leave?”
“Yeah. I needed some time off to deal with personal issues. I stayed with Lily this past week. It’s only my first day back home actually.”
“And I trust the baby is doing well?”
“Yes. Look, Rhys, I’m sure you didn’t come over here to make small talk, so I’d rather you just tell me what you wanted to say. I’m really tired and I have a lot to do around the house today.”
An awkward silence fell between the two of them. What could he say to make amends for the wrong done to her? “Yes, of course. First…Sadie….I owe you an apology. The things I said to you, were inexcusable. You came to me about your pregnancy and I acted like a complete jackass. If it would make things right I’d cut out my tongue.”
“You don’t have to go that far, Rhys. I accept your apology.”
“That easily?”
“Of course. We’ll have to get along for the baby’s sake won’t we?”
His heart lurched in his chest. “Only for the baby’s sake?”
“What other reason could there be?”
“You and me maybe?”
“There is no you and me. It’s you and Carys. She’s your daughter, but I’m not going to pretend to like her. And I’d never make you choose between me and her. She’s a child and she needs you more than me.”
Rhys closed his eyes against her matter of fact tone. “I’m sorry for being so blind. For not seeing what was going on.”
Sadie raised a brow. “So you finally realized what she was up to?”
“Carys confessed. She felt horrible about what she’d done to you.”
“And she should have.”
Rhys took a deep breath. Sadie had every right to be upset but he realized he needed to tread carefully with this topic. “Had I known what was going on, I would have nipped it in the bud. I’m terribly sorry for what she did. And I apologize for my willful ignorance in ignoring the fact that things weren’t always great between you two. I never suspected she was capable of the things she said and did.”
“You’re her father. No parent would suspect their child of what she did to me, but I can’t hate her for that. You have a scared little girl on your hands who needs some serious psychological help.”
If Sadie would have said that to him a couple months ago, he would have told her she was crazy, but now he knew better. “You’re right and I’m getting that help. We’re both in counseling actually. Something happened….” He couldn’t bring himself to tell her about the suicide attempt in case she thought it was his way of trying to gain sympathy. “Anyway, Carys is sorry for what she’s done and is looking forward to being a big sister.”
Sadie sighed. “Actually Rhys, that’s something I actually wanted to talk to you about. I don’t want your daughter anywhere near my child. I intend to apply for sole custody. You, of course, may have supervised visits with the baby, but after what she’s done, I can never trust her alone with a child of mine.”
Rhys shook his head to clear his ears because there was no way he’d heard her correctly. “I beg your pardon?”
Sadie pursed her lips, crossed her arms over her chest, a hardened gleam entering her eyes. “I believe you heard me just fine, Rhys. I don’t want your daughter anywhere near my child. She’s made my life a living hell for months nearly got me arrested, and could have caused me to miscarry. Do you think I’d want to risk my child’s safety in the hands of someone who is clearly unstable?”
Deep down he could understand where she was coming from, could even empathize with her, but he wouldn’t sit here and let her tear Carys down. “That’s enough, Sadie. My daughter is not unstable. As you yourself just pointed out, she’s a frightened little girl. Yes, what she did to you was inexcusable, but I’m deeply insulted that you believe she could hurt an innocent child.”
She raised a brow. “Oh? Like you were deeply insulted when I suggested she was something she’s not. Cut the offended parent act. You’re too little too late. Like I said, I won’t keep you from this baby. Every child deserves to know both of its parents, but I’ll be damned if I put this baby in harm’s way.”
”Stop!” he roared. “Supervised visits indeed. Do you honestly think I’d agree to that? You don’t trust that I’d protect our child?”
“I never said I couldn’t trust you, it’s Carys I don’t trust. Considering her history, what court of law wouldn’t side with me? And I’m sure if my lawyer found past girlfriends to attest to her behavior, they probably wouldn’t allow you supervised visits.”
Rhys opened his mouth but closed it. Maybe he deserved it for the way he’d treated her in the end or ignoring the signs that his daughter was troubled. But this stranger sitting before him wasn’t Sadie. Not the sweet giving woman, whose smile reached her eyes: the woman with the heart of gold. She’d changed, become hard. And what killed him the most, was that he’d been the cause.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Sadie. Is that your final word?”
She nodded, wordlessly.
He stood up. What was there left to say? “If that’s it then, I guess there’s only one thing for me to do.”
She stared at him for a moment until it seemed she could no longer stand the silent state between the two of them. “What?”
“Fight you of course. I have just as much right to this baby as you do. My word as its father should mean something to you Sadie, hell, what we shared together should at least tell you I’m not a total bastard.”
“Like I said, it not you. It’s her.” With a sigh, she stood up and walked to the door. “I guess we’re at a standstill.” She opened the door. “I think you’d better go. I’ll see you in court.”
Rhys squared his shoulders and made his way to the door.
Sadie raised her chin defiantly. As he prepared to move past her, he caught the slight quiver of her bottom lip, telling him that his Sadie was still there somewhere behind that wall she’d erected between them.
Rhys pushed his palm against the door, slamming it closed. “Fuck this. I will not let you shut me out like this, Sadie. We’re going to work this out like two adults.”
She seemed taken aback by his action before her composure returned. “What’s to work out Rhys? I’ve already said what I needed to say. What’s left to talk about?”
He clutched her by the forearms. “Us, Goddammit. There’s still the matter of us. Can you honestly say there’s nothing left?”
She attempted to push him away, but Rhys refused to be moved, tightening his grip on her. “Of course there’s something between us. This baby. Don’t make something out of nothing. There are plenty of parents who raise their children in separate homes. Grow up Rhys.”
“I think you’re the one who needs to grow up if you think I’ll go along with you cockamamie plan. And you damn well know I wasn’t talking about the baby. I’m talking about you and me and what we felt for each other. I can’t believe that what we had is no longer there, especially when my heart still tells me, you’re the missing piece of me.”
Sadie stiffened in his hold, her eyes, widening. “Don’t Rhys.”
“Don’t what? Tell the truth.”
“No. Don’t bring up things better left buried. It’s over between you and me. I knew it the minute I sat in the hospital with a broken arm caused by your daughter. As I lay there, I realized how much more I could have lost because of her and realized that you’re just not worth the aggravation. I’m tired of taking care of everyone else but myself. I gladly sacrificed myself for my sisters so they could have the lives they deserved. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating facts. I gave up my scholarship because someone had to stay behind to keep an eye on my brot
her, so my mother wouldn’t beat the crap out of him. I was the one who offered to do the jocks homework in school so they wouldn’t get kicked off the football team. I was the one gave my all in relationships to men who just wanted to use me. I’ve been made to feel like I’m nothing by the person I believed was my mother and yet I still begged her to love me. I don’t want to be that woman anymore. And I sure as hell don’t want to be the woman who spent months trying to win a little girl’s approval who was never going to give it. And for what? I ended up broken-hearted anyway. I’m tired of looking out for everyone else but myself. I’m putting my peace of mind and my child’s safety before everything else, and I don’t give a fuck how you feel about it, what you think about it, or what you believe we had. It’s over Rhys. I will not put myself through that bullshit again.”
By the time she was done, tears coursed down her face, but her gaze remained locked with his, not wavering, almost challenging him to naysay her.
For the first time since he’d walked in the door, he looked down at her arm which was still wrapped in a cast up to her elbow. He released her and took a step back, feeling as if he’d been punched in the stomach. She’d never gone into detail about her past except how close she’d been to her sisters. It was no wonder she’d never talked about her mother or why she and her mother had seemed so awkward together.
“I had no idea.”
She shrugged. “Why would you? It’s not something I advertise. Do you expect me to walk around with a t-shirt that says I had a shitty childhood?”
“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that, Sadie. That isn’t you. Don’t let what happened make you bitter. You’re sweet, loving—”
“Stop talking as if you understand what I went through. You lost that privilege.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose as if she was fighting off the beginning of a headache. “Rhys, just go. Please. I can’t deal with this or you right now.”
He should have honored her wishes, particularly in her heightened emotional state. The stress couldn’t be good for their child. But he had to know more. Needed to know. “I’ll go, but I need to know about your childhood.”
She turned her back to him and walked toward the living room. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“You can’t just drop a bombshell about abuse and expect me to just forget about it. Whether you believe it or not I care about you very much and if this is a burden you’ve been carrying around since your childhood, don’t you think it’s better to talk about it?”
Sadie took a seat on the couch, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “And exactly what do you think telling you would accomplish?”
“It may make you feel better. I’m pushing, I know, but please tell me. About your mother and your father. You don’t talk about either of them much.”
Sadie popped one eye open. “I still don’t understand what difference my telling you makes.”
“It would make a difference to me. Look, tell me and I’ll be out of your hair.”
She opened the other eye. “For good?”
“Not a chance.”
“God, you’re a pain in the ass, but if it gets you to leave me alone so I can have some me time, then fine. Here it goes. Jackie and my father had one drunken night together which resulted in my sister Lily. I guess my Dad felt like he had to marry her. He died when I was little, but I always got the sense, she didn’t like the attention he lavished on me and my sisters and brother, especially me. She’s wasn’t particularly maternal with any of us, but she had a special hatred for me. For as long as I can remember she’d make no secret of how ugly, fat and worthless she thought I was. I honestly thought my name was stupid when I was a child because that’s all she called me.” She paused getting a faraway look in her eyes.
Rhys was horrified that any mother could treat her own child so abominably. It was no wonder he’d disliked Sadie’s mother on sight. If he ever saw that woman again, he wouldn’t bite his tongue. “Sadie?” he prompted.
Her gaze snapped to his direction. She continued as if she hasn’t paused. “I wasn’t the only one to get it though. My sisters had it pretty bad as well. We tried to protect each other, but it only seemed to make her even madder. We never invited friends over because she’d go out of her way to humiliate us. She had these little nicknames for us. Let’s see, Lily was the whore, Daisy was mental, Rose was boy, because Jackie said she looked like one, and she called Thorn a retard. And me, I was stupid. I’m not going to bore you with the details, but for years we lived with that monster. If something was accidentally broken, I’d take the blame even if it wasn’t me, because I couldn’t stand to see what she did to them.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And they let you take the blame?”
“Not really. Most of the time they tried to speak up, but Jackie wanted to believe the worst in me so I just took the punishment anyway. I remember Jackie beat me with one of her four-inch stilettos, and Lily threw herself on top of me to stop her….she still has that scar on the side of her head. I just knew the next time she beat me, I wouldn’t cry or scream so no one else would get hurt.”
Rhys covered his mouth with his hand, astonished. He’d heard about abused children, but to know his Sadie had been one of them tore his heart to shreds. “How often were you beaten?”
“Honestly, the physical abuse wasn’t as often as the verbal.”
“But I can imagine the verbal was worse.”
She nodded. “Much worse. But anyway, as each of my sisters were old enough to leave, they did. They each tried to take me with them, but I couldn’t leave Thorn behind and there was no way Jackie was letting him go, especially since she received a monthly check for his care. They knew it and I knew it. Each of them even tried to fight for custody, but Jackie was cleaver. No one could find any reason why Thorn should be removed from her care. And Thorn, God rest his soul loved her, even when she called him mongoloid and a blight on humanity. He didn’t understand these things. He just loved everyone and everything. So I stayed and made sure she didn’t hurt him. By this time I was big enough to defend myself, she never laid a hand on me, but the hurtful words never stopped.”
“And Thorn?”
“He died in his sleep. Congenital heart failure. He’d had it since he was a baby. The doctors say it was a miracle he’d lasted so long. I didn’t mind giving up going to school to make his last years happy. It made me happy to do it.”
“I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, Sadie, but you mother deserves to rot in hell for what she’s done to you and your siblings. I don’t understand why you continued to be in her life.”
“Because I stupidly told myself that she’s my mother and I had a misguided sense of loyalty in name of family. Well, fortunately for me, I learned she’s not actually my mother. But that’s another story I’d rather not get into right now. I told you what you wanted to know. So now are you ready to leave?”
She said it so matter-of-factly, he knew there had to be more to it.
“Not quite. Tell me about the bastard who hurt you?”
Sadie laughed without humor. “Besides, you?”
Rhys flinched. “Okay, I deserved that. But this other man. What did he do?”
She laughed without humor. “There were a couple but the one before you, I gave him everything I had and all the time we were together he was still seeing his daughter’s mother behind my back. I thought we were going to be married, but he married her instead without telling me. I guess I’m an asshole magnet.”
“Another hit in my direction?”
“Take it as you will, Rhys. Look we had a deal. I tell you my sordid past and you leave.”
“Okay. But one more thing.”
She groaned. “For real?”
“Just one question.”
“What?”
“Do you still love me?”
Sadie sat up. “Of course I don’t.” Had she said it too quickly?
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I guess I’
ll be going then.” He stood up.
Was it really that simple? She’d told him to leave and now she was getting what she wanted, yet something inside her ached. Why did this have to be more complicated than it was? Why couldn’t she simply flip a switch and it all be over just like that? Sadie stood up to follow him to the door.
As Rhys reached for the doorknob he stopped, pulling his hand back. Then, he turned around. “Okay, I know I’m being a pain in the ass, but just one more thing. I need to make sure of something.”
She frowned. “What do you want now? I’ve answer—”
Before she could get the words out, Sadie was in his arms again, his mouth, smothering hers. She tried to push him away with her good arm, but the man was like a rock. Unmoving and kissing her in earnest.
She kept her lips sealed, in an attempt to keep his probing tongue from the entrance it sought. When she tried to turn her head away, he cupped the back of her head, forcing her head back. “Open your mouth for me. Don’t deny this. Don’t deny us.”
Rhys nipped on her bottom lip, causing her to gasp. Taking advantage of her parted lips, he slipped his tongue inside her mouth, seeking, and dominating her. His taste was so familiar and good, like mint, candy and a fine aged wine rolled into one. It was so totally Rhys. She’d forgotten this and how it had felt to be in his arms
No! She didn’t want this. Couldn’t want this. So why was her hand slowly creeping up his back? And why did she press her tongue against his, giving him as good as she got? Sadie found herself melting against him. Her pussy tingled with that old familiar stirring. Her nipples tightened, pushing painfully against the confines of her bra.
She didn’t know how but she was floating as Rhys moved them through the living room and back to the couch. He lowered her onto the cushions, their mouths never separating. His hands were frantic against her body, cupping and molding her shape as he reacquainted himself with her curves. He moved his hand in a downward motion until he cupped her sex through the thick material of her jeans.
“So hot. Is all this heat for me?” he muttered against her lips.