by Kasie West
“You made it!” Maricela said, giving me a big hug. “Your parents were cool with this?”
“Not at all.” My eyes were scanning the others in the group, but none of them were Brooks.
“He’s over there,” Maricela said. I obviously wasn’t as subtle as I’d thought.
Brooks sat on a large rock just outside the glow of the lanterns.
“Do you mind if…?” Was I asking her permission because I thought she and Brooks had something more going on?
“No, go ahead,” Maricela said. “He wasn’t very chatty, but maybe you can crack him. He seems like he could use a friend.”
I wasn’t sure that was me, but I walked over anyway.
He glanced my way, looked back at the fireworks, then did a double take. “Avery?”
“Hey.” I sat down on the rock next to him. “This place is pretty cool.”
“Yeah. And the killer show doesn’t hurt.” A green flower lit up the sky, layered with a red star.
“I’ve seen better,” I said with a smirk.
“Snob,” he teased back, and then, seeming to think I’d take offense, said, “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know.” I stared at the sky when really I wanted to be staring at Brooks.
Last year for the Fourth, Shay and I had gone to the local water park and watched fireworks while sitting in tubes in the wave pool. For the first time since I got here, I realized how bad I missed her. My anger had been masking it before, but it was there. I missed my best friend. And what scared me more than anything was that maybe I’d never get her back; maybe things would never be the same between us again.
“I usually watch the fireworks with my friend Shay,” I said. “Pay phone girl.”
“Is that going to be her new name? Pay phone girl?”
“Only for you.”
He smiled but his eyes stayed glued to the sky. “Before I worked here, I’d watch with my brother.”
“How old is your brother?”
“Fourteen now.”
“You miss him,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
“My mom had to work tonight, which got me wondering if she worked last year or the year before. Has my brother had to sit in our apartment alone and watch fireworks out the window for the last three years? I’ve never asked him.”
“He probably goes to a friend’s house or something.”
“Maybe.”
“You should ask him so you can stop putting more guilt on yourself.”
His eyes left the show in the sky and met mine. “Maybe I won’t like the answer.”
“I understand that fear.” I really did. I mean, wasn’t that part of the reason I was avoiding Shay? Because I didn’t want to know if what had happened had ruined everything? Wasn’t that part of the reason I hadn’t asked Maricela earlier if Brooks was her mystery guy? “But you’re already thinking the worst, so it can only go up from here.”
He gave a breathy laugh.
“Don’t listen to me. I really don’t know what I’m talking about considering I’m in the middle of some pretty major avoidance myself right now.”
“Pay phone girl?”
Among other things. “Yes.”
He nodded, then surprised me by saying, “We should do the ropes course early Monday. Things will be slower next week.”
“Oh, I thought…”
“What?” he asked when I didn’t finish.
“I just thought since we didn’t need to write the song anymore that our deal was off.”
He paused and then said, “That’s right. I had kind of forgotten it was a deal.”
A smile took over my face. “You had? You were just helping me discover myself to be nice?”
“Well, I mean, it seems like all the employees in camp are helping you now. They’ve taken over my gig, but whatever.” His magic smile that I had missed so much made an appearance.
I laughed. “Nobody else is helping me, dork.”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
The fireworks finale halted our conversation as it rumbled through the sky and vibrated in my chest. I watched them light up the dark night and then I watched them color Brooks’s eyes purple and green and orange. He wanted to help me just because. Even without our deal. My heart seemed to triple its speed and my lungs filled to capacity.
“I’ll sing,” I said.
Brooks turned a questioning gaze on me, his eyes still reflecting the colors. He hadn’t heard me. I waited until the night went quiet, until his eyes were back to just one color—their intense blue—and I said again, “I’ll sing.”
“What?” Brooks had gone still, like he thought that if he moved too fast, I would change my mind.
The rock we sat on was digging into my tailbone and I adjusted my position. “There’s still two weeks until tryouts, right?”
He stared at me for a long moment. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Did you find someone else?”
“Yes, I mean, no…”
“You just don’t want me to do it?”
“I just thought you didn’t…Can you sing?”
“You heard me sing.”
He leaned back onto his palms. “Yes, but only one line in a cave with killer acoustics.”
“Fair enough. Well, I can sing. I just hope I will.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have major stage fright, so if you can help me figure that out, I’ll probably be decent.”
“Decent? That’s the adjective you’re going with?”
“I’m not you. I’m not a prodigy or anything, but I’ll do my best.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a prodigy. I just practice a lot.”
“Then I should start practicing…a lot.”
His expression became serious, sincere. “Avery, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say Thank you, you’re the best, and if we win, I owe you all my future children.”
He raised one eyebrow and one corner of his mouth. “You want to have all my future children?”
I laughed and blushed. “That’s what it sounded like, didn’t it? I say dumb things sometimes.” My attention was drawn back to the dark sky. “I need to find my sister. My parents are expecting us right after fireworks.”
“Tomorrow night practice? Nine p.m. on the stage?”
Nine was going to be hard to justify to my parents but half the time they were in their room for the night at nine anyway. Having no television had aged us all thirty years in our sleeping habits. “Okay, I’ll see you then.” I stood and started to walk away.
“I owe you all my future children!” Brooks called after me.
I spun, walking backward for two steps, and said, “Yeah, you do,” before I turned and left in search of my sister. As I went from group to group with no luck, I realized I couldn’t stop smiling. It was Brooks’s fault.
I saw Kai disappear behind a tree on the far side of the clearing and I wondered if Lauren was with him. They were probably about to do his bear prank again on someone, with Lauren recording it this time.
I smiled and as quietly as possible made my way over to the tree I’d seen him duck behind. When I made it, I rounded it with a big “Roar!”
Kai jumped back but not before I saw his lips smashed against someone else’s. That person let out a sharp scream with my imitation bear sound. At first, I thought it was Lauren because that’s who I had expected to see. But as my brain caught up with the scene in front of me, I saw it was Maricela.
A panicked look took over her face. “Avery,” she hissed in a low whisper. “You scared me.”
Kai was her mystery boy? A huge amount of relief and happiness poured through me. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”
Kai looked over my shoulder, obviously checking to
make sure nobody else had followed me. “You won’t talk, right?” he asked.
“Please,” Maricela said. “You can’t tell anyone about this. If people start spreading this and Janelle finds out, we’ll both be fired.”
I looked over my shoulder too, but nobody else had seen or followed me. People were hanging out in different groups, each group having been drawn to a lantern and now lit by a hazy glow. And that’s when I finally saw Lauren. She was talking and laughing with Levi. Was she really just friends with the band? Kai’s feelings were apparent now, but would Lauren be sad to learn about this? “No,” I said back to Kai and Maricela. “Of course not. I won’t tell anyone.”
Maricela gave me a hug. “Thank you. You’re awesome.”
“I’ll see you soon,” I said, backing away. “And be more careful.”
Lauren was in the middle of explaining some editing software to Levi when I joined them. “Hey, you know Dad will search the whole camp if we’re not back soon.”
She gave a drawn-out sigh. “Fine.”
“Hi, Avery,” Levi said. Last time I’d seen him, he was storming out of band practice.
“Hi,” I said. “How are you?”
For a second I thought about telling him and Lauren right there that I was going to fill in for Ian. That the audition was still happening. But something stopped me. I wasn’t even sure if I could pull this off yet. I hadn’t had a single practice. I didn’t need the added pressure of my sister recording and the guys fighting.
“So much better,” Levi answered. “It feels more like a vacation here now that I’m not dealing with band practice.”
Oh, right. Levi had quit the band. He wasn’t coming back just because I was a part of it now. Brooks and I would have to make this work on our own. And I was perfectly fine with that.
“What?” Lauren asked. “Why do you have that goofy smile on your face?”
“Do I?” I let it drop off. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.
As we made our way back toward the cabin, I looked over at Lauren. “Hey, you and Kai—”
“Gah. Avery, seriously, you’re going to go on about this again?”
“No, I’m not.” Because I’d just promised Maricela I wouldn’t tell anyone. “I just worry about you.”
“Well, stop. It’s annoying.”
I wished it were that easy.
“Nobody is in there,” D said the next night as I walked toward the theater a little after nine. The day had dragged on, but it had been just as easy as I’d hoped to leave the cabin—my parents had been in their room, and Lauren had crashed after a day in the sun.
I could’ve sworn D’s shift ended at nine. I thought that was half the reason for the time Brooks had chosen.
I turned. “Oh. I know. I think I left something in there the other night.”
“What?”
“I think I left something,” I repeated.
“No, I mean, what did you leave?”
I was a crappy liar. “My hair clip.”
She lowered her eyebrows.
“It’s my favorite.”
“Okay, good luck.”
“Thanks.” I opened the door to the theater and the room was dark. No stage lights, like there usually were. I held the door open with my foot and turned on my phone flashlight. Behind me, D stacked a few piles of papers together and said a few words to the night-shift person. As she rounded the desk for the exit, she caught my eye. I moved my foot, letting the door close between us.
“Hello?” I whispered, shining my light ahead. It only lit a ten-foot area around me. “Brooks?” Where was he?
With my hands stretched in front of me, I made it to the edge of the stage and felt my way along it to the stairs. Off to the side, I saw a tiny sliver of light from a small gap between two curtains.
Once backstage, the light led me to a room down a short hall. The door was cracked open and I poked my head around it to see Brooks sitting on an old couch, his guitar in his lap. I let out a sigh of relief.
He looked up with the noise.
“Was this my first test?” I asked.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hide. I just saw D hadn’t left, so I made sure she saw me walk out the front. Then I came in through the back.”
I stepped all the way inside and pulled the door shut behind me.
“Is your sister coming? I wasn’t sure.”
I cringed. “I didn’t tell her yet. I don’t need my failures posted online.”
He flashed me a smile. “Such positive thinking.”
I walked the perimeter of the room, letting my hand run over the stacks of boxes that lined the walls. One of the boxes was open, revealing piles of colorful T-shirts.
I wanted to think positive, to know that I could do this, but I was struggling. “Where do you find your confidence?”
He held up his hand and circled it over his chest. “Somewhere under all this BS.”
I let my eyes travel the length of him. “That’s a lot to wade through.”
He gave a single laugh. “It really is.”
“So, seriously? You’re not going to tell me your ways?”
He tilted his head. “You just have to stop caring.”
“About what?”
“About what anyone thinks about your performance.”
I finished my lap around the room, then lowered myself next to him on the couch. It was threadbare and smelled of dust. “So you don’t care what anyone thinks about your music?”
“No.”
“What about your mom? Do you care what she thinks?”
“She doesn’t really listen to my music, so no.”
“Your brother?”
“No.”
“Your teachers? Or the girl you like, what about her?”
“What about her?” he asked.
I looked down, then back at him. “You don’t care what she thinks?”
He gave me a slow smile. “If she likes me back, she probably doesn’t do a lot of thinking.”
“It really is a miracle you can get through all that BS,” I said, circling my hand close to his chest like he’d done earlier.
He grabbed hold of my wrist and directed my hand back to me until it covered my heart. “Try this. Repeat after me.” He raised his eyebrows and I nodded. “You’re fun, brave, and hot.”
“You’re fun, brave, and hot.”
He dropped my wrist and rolled his head. “No, you were supposed to say I.”
“You said repeat after you.”
“You’re right, I did. Well, in that case, thank you.”
I whacked his arm. “You’re such a punk.”
He picked up his guitar again. “Now that we don’t have a full band, I’m going to play acoustic instead of electric.”
“Okay,” I said.
He strummed a chord. “You ready to try?”
I smiled. “No.”
“But you’re going to do it anyway?”
“Yes,” I said. “Because you’re fun, brave, and hot.”
He barked out a laugh. “And don’t forget it.”
“You have the lyrics? I want to make sure I remember them right.”
He reached over and pulled the loose pages out of his guitar case and handed them to me.
“Okay, count me in because I don’t know my cue yet.”
He strummed several chords, then said, “One, two, go.”
I opened my mouth and then shut it. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Again.”
I grabbed hold of the edge of the cushion on either side of my legs with both hands. And when he counted me in this time, I sang. I sang while staring hard at the lyrics, so hard that my eyes started to water. But I was doing it and it didn’t feel foreign at all. It felt like something I did. Because my sist
er was right. I sang in the shower and with my AirPods in and while I did homework. It wasn’t perfect—I stuttered and went off-key a couple times—but I made it through the whole song. I didn’t look up from the pages of lyrics for three long beats, and finally, I raised my eyes to his.
He was staring at me, his unreadable expression back. “You can sing,” he said with a hint of relief and a hint of excitement in his voice.
“I told you I could sing. That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Oh, right.” He looked up as if replaying our conversation in his head. “Stage fright. We need to work on that.”
My legs were jittery and I realized that even though the singing felt better than I expected, I was still beyond nervous about this. “Can we go through it again?”
“Of course. As many times as you want.”
“It feels…I don’t know, fast?”
He hummed. “Yeah, I can see that. We don’t have a band to fill it out. You want to try it slower?”
“It would feel less punk rock,” I said.
“I’m okay with that. Are you?”
“This is your thing.”
“This is our thing now, Avery. We’ll make song decisions together.” He held his fist out.
“Are you asking for a fist bump?” I said with a laugh.
He bumped his fist against my hand that rested on my leg. “Was that so hard?” His smile made me happy inside.
He pulled on a piece of string hanging off the bottom of my flannel shirt, but it was attached and stayed very much in place.
“You know what else we need to work on?” he asked.
“My wardrobe?”
“No…Well, I mean, obviously we’re not wearing camp clothes to the audition.”
“You’re right. Just let me go to the section in my suitcase I packed knowing I’d need something other than camp clothes.”
“Huh. Maybe Maricela will have something you can borrow.”
I wondered if Brooks knew about Kai and Maricela. Kai was his best friend; he’d probably told him. “I’ll ask her. So if it’s not my wardrobe, what else do we need to work on?”
“Figuring out how you’re going to disappear all day for the audition.”