by Kasie West
I wanted to say it didn’t matter if we won the prize or not that night, that we’d won either way. That we’d learned things about ourselves and proven things we couldn’t have any other way. But that wasn’t true. It did matter. And as we sat on the blanket, my back against Brooks’s chest watching the other bands, I wanted the win so bad. Not for me this time. The singing had been for me. I wanted the win for Brooks. For his future.
So when they called our band’s name at the end of the night as the grand prize winner, I cried. And as we stood on the stage, hundreds of people clapping and cheering for us, I’d never felt so proud and happy in my life.
Brooks put his arm around me. “You were right,” he said. “We couldn’t have done this without you.”
“We did it together,” I said through my tears.
Brooks squeezed my side. “If you don’t stop crying, you’re going to make me cry,” he said.
I wiped under my eyes. “I can’t stop.”
Kai, who was on my other side, scooped me up in a lung-crushing hug. “If you think you can walk away from this band now, dude, you need to think again.”
“Don’t crush my girlfriend,” Brooks said.
Kai released me and moved on to Levi and Ian.
“Hey, Avery,” Brooks said.
“Yeah?” I looked at his smiling face.
“Repeat after me. I am amazing!”
“You are amazing,” I said.
“No.” He wrapped his arms around my waist. “You were supposed to say I.”
The campfire was going strong behind the employee cabins. I had my chair as close as possible to Brooks’s chair, a little separated from the group. We watched them throw twigs and sticks into the flames while daring each other to do increasingly dumber things. Lauren was up, and Tia had just dared her to eat a chip that had been on the ground for who knew how long. Days? Lauren was studying it carefully in the fire’s glow.
Brooks was playing with my fingers. “I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow.”
“I know. How are you going to survive the rest of summer without me?”
“It will be very, very boring.”
I slouched farther down in my seat, letting my head lean on the backrest. I stared up at the stars. “But when you get home”—I flopped my head to the side so I could look at him—“we’ll see each other?”
“Is every day too much?”
I smiled. “No.” I brought his hand to my lips and rested it there. “And you got your megasign. You won the festival.”
“We won.”
“So music is in your future.”
“Yes.” His eyes seemed as bright as the fire with that thought. “I’m going to buy some studio time and go from there.”
“Good plan.”
“Will you sing with me? At least for our songs?”
“What’s in it for me?” I teased.
He circled his free hand in front of his chest, as if referring to his entire self. “All this BS.”
I laughed. “Deal.”
Acknowledgments
Every new book I get to put in the world feels like a happy bonus that I am grateful for. Thanks to my readers for making it possible for me to keep writing. This book was important to me. Avery reminds me a bit of myself as a teenager. I was a pleaser. A peacemaker. And while I think this is an admirable quality, I also had to learn that sometimes making someone else happy came at the expense of my feelings or happiness. I had to learn to stand up for myself even when the other person was kind and deserving. Being able to write Avery doing this was very cathartic for me, and I’m grateful for this story and this opportunity.
Thanks a million to Wendy Loggia for pulling out the best in this book and helping me shape it just right. She is a rock star editor and I’m happy to be working with her. And thanks to the whole team at Delacorte Press: designer Cathy Bobak, associate director of copyediting Colleen Fellingham, production manager Tracy Heydweiller, SVP and publisher Beverly Horowitz, president and publisher Barbara Marcus, editorial assistant Alison Romig, managing editor Tamar Schwartz, and copy editor Carrie Andrews. I love this book cover so much (seriously, you should go stare at it for a minute and then come back)! Thanks to the cover designer, Casey Moses! And the talented cover artists, Ana Hard (jacket artist) and Jill DeHaan (custom lettering).
I’ve been with my agent, Michelle Wolfson, for ten years now! Ten! I feel like I’ve known her forever, and am so glad she is part of my life. My writing career and journey wouldn’t have been the same without you, Michelle, and I am so grateful to have you!
As always, thanks to my amazingly supportive husband, Jared, and my kids, Skyler, Autumn, Abby, and Donavan, who have always been proud of me. I’m so proud of them and the fun, unique, awesome people they’ve become.
I wrote this story in the midst of a global pandemic (just like many others who had to keep working and caring for others in uncertain times), and my weekly Zoom calls with my girls, my distanced workout sessions with friends, and my walks with my sister got me through. So thank you to: Stephanie Ryan (who is also my very talented bio-photographer sister), Brittney Swift, Emily Freeman, Mandy Hillman, Megan Grant, Candice Kennington, Renee Collins, Jenn Johansson, Bree Despain, Natalie Whipple, Michelle Argyle, Elizabeth Minnick, Misti Hamel, and Claudia Wadsworth.
Like I say in nearly every book, having a big family helps me write families. And I have a big, fun, awesome, loud, loving family. I’m grateful for all of them. My mom, Chris DeWoody and her husband, Mark Thompson. My dad, who passed in 2006 and who I think about and miss often, Donald DeWoody. My brothers and sisters, Heather and Dave Garza, Jared and Rachel DeWoody, Spencer and Zita DeWoody, and Stephanie and Kevin Ryan. My husband’s parents, siblings, and spouses: Vance and Karen West, Eric and Michelle West, Sharlynn West, Brian and Rachel Braithwaite, Jim and Angie Stettler, Rick and Emily Hill. I also have thirty nieces and nephews. Plus great-nieces and great-nephews! And I love all these people with all my heart. I feel so lucky to have such a big, close family.
Stay tuned for more books coming your way. And please reach out to me on social media. I love connecting with readers! Thank you again for reading my books!
About the Author
Kasie West is the author of many YA novels, including The Fill-in Boyfriend, P.S. I Like You, Lucky in Love, and Listen to Your Heart. Her books have been named ALA-YALSA Quick Picks, JLG selections, and ALA-YALSA Best Books for Young Adults. When she’s not writing, she’s binge-watching television, devouring books, or burying her toes in the sand of the Central Coast. Kasie lives in Fresno, California, with her family.
kasiewest.com
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