by Shannah Jay
‘It’s beautiful,’ she said in a hushed voice. It’d have felt wrong, somehow, to speak loudly here.
‘Yes. Very beautiful.’ He drew her on towards the back of the cave, where it narrowed and the roof came lower, forming a separate grotto. At the foot of the wall was a small pool of clear water, some drinking glasses, dusty now, and a pile of blankets.
Deverith stopped. ‘This is a holy place. Even the Forebears had their beliefs, you know, beliefs like those you’re still trying to deny, Karialla. The people who created this were, I think, the ones who led the others away from machinery.
With the help of some other beings.’
She was instantly tense. ‘If you mean gods, I haven’t changed my mind about that.’
He shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter what you call them. I think our species always tries to find a way to better themselves, at least the sane ones do. They get help from beings more advanced in goodness than ourselves and call them by a variety of names. The name doesn’t matter.’ He took her hand. ‘Would you sit down and meditate with me in here, anyway? In honour of my gods.’
She shivered and couldn’t prevent herself from glancing behind her. It felt as if someone were breathing over her shoulder. ‘I don’t . . . ’
‘Please, Karialla.’
She felt uneasy. ‘Could we go outside to do it? It feels so strange in here.’
‘It wouldn’t be the same outside. It’s in here that some of our Forebears used to meditate and I’d like us to do the same. Please!’ He stared down at her with his beautiful eyes. ‘It means a great deal to me.’
She sat down on the soft blue blanket he’d spread out. Healer’s blue, she noted absently. How strange! Moving in a slow ritual fashion he took two of the glasses, rinsed them, then filled them from the tiny pool. He held them up as if in salute to something, then gave her one. ‘Here, lass. Drink with me.
She took it rather reluctantly and watched what he did.
‘Water is life. Share water, share life.’ He raised his glass again and drained it, so she did the same.
The water was cool and sweet in her mouth, and she could feel it trickling through her body as if it had a separate life of its own. Water is life. Share water, share life. she thought, and the idea pleased her.
Deverith took her glass and set it down again by the spring, then settled on the blanket beside her. When he bowed his head to begin meditating, she did the same. But as her eyes closed she felt fear tiptoe on cold little feet around the nape of her neck.
Faint vibrations filled the air around them. She could feel them pulsing inside her. She couldn’t move but when she opened her eyes, she saw that the light in the cave had started to grow brighter. A column of golden light seemed to coalesce in front of them. Karialla knew Deverith was still there, but couldn’t see him, could only see the golden column, which looked like the life force they’d used to heal Sarann.
The luminosity was increasing every minute. She shouldn’t have been able to stare at such a bright light, but she could and it didn’t hurt her eyes. The golden glow separated into three slender shafts, which seemed to be three distinct entities, though she couldn’t recognise any physical features in them. They meant her no harm, had no evil in them. She could sense that very clearly.
Who are you? She didn’t realise until the words had formed inside her head that she was speaking with her mind only, not with her voice.
There was an echo of a chuckle from the glowing presences. I’m afraid we’re the gods in whom you don’t believe, Karialla, or the nearest thing to it! We’re a stage ahead of you on the ladder of life, past the Discord phase, but we were similar to you once. We had bodies and hungers, doubts and fears, just as you do. And our own people were tempted into Discord at one stage, just as yours have been.
She couldn’t disbelieve them, for the mind-to-mind communication was so clear that lies would have stood out at once. If only everyone could communicate in this way, there would be no misunderstandings.
When the beings said nothing else, she dared to form another question in her mind, What are you doing here?
Again a ghost of a chuckle. Playing gods, I’m afraid.
It was another of the presences speaking, but she couldn’t tell which one. Were these beings really made of light?
How was that possible? Or was there form beneath that brilliance? She felt as if she could glimpse shapes there.
I don’t understand.
We don’t understand everything, either. We’re been trying to help overcome the Discord which fills your world, Karialla. When it grows that strong, it affects every level of existence, you see, and diminishes us all.
Shannah Jay TENEBRAK78
Are the deleff helping you?
Not at our instigation. They’re alien, even to us, and they follow their own soul path. Yet sometimes they help without being asked and the help is usually effective, as when they rescued you and Deverith.
What are they?
We don’t know. Their species took another path entirely.
What do you want with Deverith and me?
Again she heard that undertone of amusement. We think you have within you the seeds of new Gifts which will help your descendants to fight more successfully against Discord.
I don’t understand. She relaxed a little. You could not, she decided, remain afraid of a being which had that gentle sense of amusement. But the next words made her jerk upright in shock and gasp aloud.
What we want specifically at this time is for you to bear Deverith’s children, Karialla.
The familiar band of pain tightened around her heart. I can’t, she thought. Pavlin and I never could . . . Then she remembered the Medi-Centre and gasped. The machines had remedied that problem.
The light seemed to enclose her briefly in a loving embrace and the pain in her heart lessened. At that moment she truly understood that her people were not alone in the universe and she realised Loral was right. No individual should ever feel as alone as she had after Pavlin’s death - without kin - without friends at first - without hope, too.
She realised Deverith now had his arms round her and as she melted into this strange embrace, something hard and painful within her began to dissolve. This was a communion which pulled all five of them close, however different they were.
And Deverith, dear kind Deverith, was as wonderful inside his head as she’d have expected. No dark or murky thoughts lurked there, just kindness, an intense curiosity, a strong determination to do whatever he could to help his fellow humans . . . and love for her so strong it made her feel humble as well as joyful. His thoughts were as sweet as honeyflowers and yet as sharp and stimulating as tingleberries.
After a while, the intensity of the communion lessened and one of the beings spoke again. Deverith carries important Gifts in his seed, Karialla. And he has very few years in which to pass them on. He’s never fathered a child.
His seed was waiting for this time. And there is an affinity between the two of you that is crucial to this world.
She didn’t know what to answer.
Is Deverith to follow Pavlin’s path into oblivion?
The accusation hurt so much she sucked in a deeply painful breath.
I won’t force her. Deverith looked straight at the glowing columns of light. If she doesn’t wish it, then I won’t ever force her. His voice was fierce, and not only was one arm still around her protectively, but a feeling of loving warmth was emanating from him.
No one will force her to do anything, Deverith. But she must face the truth. Karialla, now that the malfunction in your body has been repaired, you should perhaps ask yourself whether you have the right to withhold the Gifts within you from your people? Can you refuse to lead your people along a better path?
‘Lead?’ she asked and this time her words were spoken aloud and echoed round the cave. ‘Lead people!’
Of course! That’s the main reason you’re needed. You have the Gift of leadership. A lost people need a
leader. It’s you who will oversee the building of Temple Tenebrak and lead your people along a path which will encourage them to develop their Gifts and pass them on to their descendants. You and Deverith will begin a Quest to find the Path of Peace and Wisdom that will save your people from degeneration and oblivion through the long centuries ahead. But you, Karialla, are the one who will play the major role.
The light grew visibly dimmer. ‘Wait!’ she cried. ‘Don’t go!’ But it faded slowly, leaving a faint chiming sound in her ears and a feeling of aching loss in her body.
‘I don’t like them to leave, either,’ Deverith murmured, giving her a quick hug. ‘They feel as warm and golden as they look, don’t they? But they never stay here for long. I suspect it may be painful for them to return to this level of existence. But,’ he looked into the distance, then back at her again, ‘they usually leave me with thoughts I can’t dismiss.
As they have today.’
She nodded.
‘It seems a waste not to pass on the Gifts we’ve been given, doesn’t it? My family’s long life. Our healing skills. Your strength and sense of purpose. And who knows what else will develop from that in the years to come?’
She bent her head, her mind a turbulence of grief and love overlaid with the painful growth of new ideas. When the silence had stretched on for too long, she looked up and saw that Deverith had left the cave. And she hadn’t even felt him leave her side. To her surprise, she felt quite bereft without him.
She went to the entrance and watched him walk back down the hill. Alone and upright. He’d had his say. Now he knew she needed time to think, to make her own decision. And he’d not only give her that time, but would respect her decision, whatever it was.
Shannah Jay TENEBRAK79
She watched the solitary figure until he entered one of the ugly buildings. She hadn’t realised until this moment how deeply she loved him. The love had grown imperceptibly, rooted in companionship and fun and purpose. A fine seeding ground.
She went back to the blanket and sat down cross-legged. Though the presences had gone, still something of their golden warmth seemed to linger in the stones around her. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and let the peace wash around and through her as her thoughts tracked slowly towards a decision.
Marry Deverith, yes? She could think of nothing she’d like more. But would she really be able to lead people away from Discord? Bring forth descendants who would matter to her people in the years to come?
That would be a heavy burden.
CHAPTER 20 Pair Bonding
It was more than an hour before Karialla followed Deverith down the hill. She entered the underground village with some trepidation and was relieved to find him sitting by the fountain in the big square.
She felt shy approaching him, but he only looked up calmly and asked, ‘How are you feeling now, lass?’
‘Well enough.’ She sat down beside him, not sure how to reveal her decision, glad when he didn’t press her.
He put a warm hand over hers. ‘Are you all right? Your hand feels cold.’
‘I am cold, Deverith, I don’t know why. Could we go and get a warm drink from that canteen place, or maybe some soup? I’m hungry.’ It seemed an eternity since she had eaten and her body felt as hollow as a blowreed stem.
‘Of course.’
When they were sitting in a corner of the shining white room, she asked suddenly, ‘Are you absolutely sure we carry such important Gifts within our seed, Deverith?’
‘I’m very sure, lass. It’s one of those things I told you about. Sometimes I know things are so. Besides, those beings couldn’t lie to us. They’re beyond that.’
She swallowed hard. ‘Isn’t life strange? You can never tell what’s around the next corner.’
‘Life’s like a long road, lass. Twists and turns and new directions all the time. And the straight stretches don’t last very long, do they?’
‘No.’ They sat quietly for a while, then she asked. ‘Will our people find the right path to follow, do you think? A path that leads away from Discord?’
His eyes grew distant and somehow luminous, and when he spoke his voice echoed slightly. ‘We’ll make some progress, Karialla, but it’ll take many centuries and we’ll need all the help we can get from the beings you’ve just met.
It’s a hard path to follow. The true path of wisdom lies a long way beyond our level of existence. In this life, we can only begin to learn a little sense.’
When he fell silent, she prompted gently, ‘But we can - improve?’
He nodded. ‘Oh yes. Though I’m sure there will be other times when our people will go astray and lose the path.
The seeds of Discord lie within our species, I’m afraid.’
She stared at him in awe, knowing instinctively that he was prophesying, and that what he’d just foretold would happen in the long years to come. She let the words echo into silence and the silence settle around them as she waited for him to recover.
Eventually he blinked and the strangeness vanished from his features, then he hugged her and gave her one of his loving smiles. ‘I didn’t frighten you, did I? Sometimes I can’t help knowing the future.’
‘Nothing about you could ever frighten me, Deverith.’
They sat quietly for a moment or two, then he said in a more normal tone, ‘Your idea for a centre of learning is good, I think. We must see that it’s built.’
‘Yes.’ She’d forgotten about that.
‘I asked the machines here for help while I was waiting for you. I explained that we needed something of value to pay for building a centre of learning, not for selfish reasons but to help our people - and they gave me these.’ He fumbled in the pouch at his waist and pulled out a handful of dull-looking stones. She heard others rattle softly inside the leather bag.
‘What are they?’
‘Jewels. The sort that rich people pay high prices for.’
‘But are there any rich people left to buy them?’
He chuckled. ‘Oh yes, there certainly are! Gold can often save a person from the attentions of a fighting faction when reason will not. Even Discord couldn’t wipe all the rich people out. And others grew rich from the wars and now want fine houses, beautiful objects, jewels. As times improve, silversmiths and jewellers will find buyers for their choicer
Shannah Jay TENEBRAK80
wares again.’
She touched the pile of dull pebbles, a scornful flick of her fingertips. ‘I care nothing for such things.’
He put the pebbles back in his pouch. ‘Neither do I. Real riches are in the head and heart. But I do care that we have enough coin to support our task, to further our quest. So when we get back, we’ll ask Sarann to sell some of these jewels, which should provide enough coin to give us a start. Once we have that, we’ll be able to buy her a trader’s wagon, hire help, buy some dressed stone and make a start on building our centre of learning.’
‘It’ll be a temple,’ she corrected quietly.
He raised his eyebrows. ‘I thought you didn’t believe in religion any more, lass?’
‘I don’t believe in it in quite the same way as Pavlin did, or as the members of the One Circle do. But now I understand the need for it, Deverith. Loral helped me to start understanding that a while ago, though I didn’t know it at the time. And your beings have made me realise that gods needn’t be formed in Rojan’s pattern. To me it’s goodness we search for, whether we call it god or not.’
She stared into space, not looking at him, simply voicing her thoughts aloud. ‘Gods should be more,’ she frowned again, trying to think it through, ‘like one’s family. Like wiser, older relatives.’
She had caught his interest. ‘Father? Mother?’ he asked.
‘No, too much authority, too much distance.’
‘Brother? Sister?’
‘Yes. That relationship would be less likely to lead to a harsh, dominating religion. I want people to learn to think for themselves, not follow behind others like
milk nerid calves.’ She tried the idea out. ‘The God, my Sister.’ There was something not quite right about that.
‘I hate to say this, Karialla, but most men wouldn’t respect a god whom they thought of as a Sister.’
‘The God, our Mother?’
He shook his head again, still frowning.
She looked at him and pulled a wry face. ‘You’re right. Unfortunately. There are still a lot of men who treat women as servants. Rojan does. Pavlin didn’t.’
‘I’m sure he didn’t.’ Deverith allowed silence to fall again like a soft caress. They needed time to think this through.
Strange, he thought, the less time I have left, the more I realise that some things just cannot be hurried.
‘I think,’ Karialla started walking up and down, gesticulating with her hands as she spoke, ‘I think we must develop a new idea of what a god is. Those beings were as near to gods as we’ll ever meet, but they wanted to help us, to work with us, not dominate us.’ After a few moments, she stopped in front of him and said firmly, ‘We’ll call our god
‘Brother’, then, and use him as - as a Mentor, like we do in the Healers’ Courts.’
‘Hmm. That might work. Why a temple and not a centre of learning?’
She shrugged helplessly. ‘I don’t know. It just - seems right. We’ll need rituals and beauty to attract people, to make them happy to be there.’
‘You know it’s right, as I sometimes know things with utter certainty.’
She nodded, accepting this new meaning to the act of knowing.
‘How will you use your temple?’
‘How shall we use it?’
‘No, lass. I shall be gone long before it’s finished. Face that fact now.’ His expression was serene and it was Karialla’s face which reflected pain.
She suddenly remembered the happiness with which the congregation of the One Circle had long ago celebrated her public declaration of marriage to Pavlin and immediately knew that it would be one of the keys. Her eyes began to sparkle. ‘We’ll have a religion of joy and happiness, one where we celebrate ourselves and our god, who is like an older brother helping his younger siblings. Our Brother the God.’