The soft hum of conversation petered out as the lights dimmed and the curtains opened. An instrumental of a German love song played, filling the theater with lovely sound. The movie was to be a lighthearted romantic comedy. But before the feature film, a short came blaring onto the screen. There right in front of them all, larger than life, was the face of Adolph Hitler ranting about his hatred of Jews. Red faced, with hands flaying about in anger, he raved. As the movie clip continued, one by one the audience left the theater in horror.
Viktor stood up his voice rose “What the hell is going on here? Who is responsible for this outrage?”
No one answered. The film continued.
Manny turned to look at Alex who sat glued to the screen. Anna watched Alex as well. His face contorted with fury. With a firm grip on Alex’s upper arm, Manny tried to break the spell.
“Come let’s go from here. We’ll go up on the deck and get some air.”
Viktor turned to the others. “I am terribly sorry about this. I am going to the projection area to find out who is behind all of it.” Viktor left.
The girls stood ready to leave. The lights in the theater had been turned on and someone had silenced the film but had not turned it off. Hitler’s face remained frozen on the screen as Alex remained frozen in his chair.
“Alex.” Manny shook his arm “Alex... Alex...”
Alex shook Manny’s hand off him. Tears began to slide down Alex’s face. Then Anna walked over to the chair on the other side of Alex and sat down. She gently placed her hand upon his. For several moments she did not speak. But once he noticed her presence by the heat of her palm in his, he looked at her face.
“Alex, it’s all right.” With her other hand, Anna wiped the tears from his cheek. “We should leave here. Please...come with us.” She smoothed the skin under his eye with her thumb. “Let’s go up on deck? Yes? Come please?” she urged as she squeezed his hand.
From the distance, they could hear Viktor shouting in German and the voice of another man apologizing as the screen went white.
Alex nodded. He rose and the group left the auditorium.
That night, although he did not speak much, Alex stayed with the other three and watched carefully. Tonight’s incident had only served to increase his distrust. He sat on deck with Anna and Manny as Manny smoked Cuban cigars and told stories of his escapades traveling around Europe. “Better times,” Manny called them. “Before the New Germany.”
Elke walked over to where they were sitting. Her platinum blonde hair took on a silver hue in the moonlight, and it did not go unnoticed by Manny. He found her to be ravishing. With her curvaceous figure, high heels and blue eyes, he knew he would have enjoyed a night sharing her bed. But so unlike his usual self, Manny decided against the seduction because of his feelings for Anna. In the past, he would have already been pursuing this magnificent creature, and because he wasn’t, once again he wondered if he had fallen in love.
It was over an hour before Viktor came up on deck.
“I thought I might find you here,” he said to Elke. “Again, please, all of you, accept my apologies for tonight.”
Manny and Anna nodded. Elke did not meet Viktor’s gaze. Instead she looked out across the ocean.
“Elke, will you take a walk with me?” Viktor asked.
She nodded.
They got up and walked as the moon began to rise in the sky.
“That should never have happened. The man responsible will be punished.”
She nodded.
“Elke, what are you thinking?’
“The truth?”
“Of course.”
“I’m wondering what it is that you want from me Viktor. And…I am afraid of you, of your power to cause me trouble.”
“I would never cause you trouble.”
“Even if I told you to go away and let me be with my friends, and to stop trying to act as if we were living in normal times? I am a Jew and you are a Gentile, a Nazi too. This could turn out very badly.”
“Do you really want me to leave you alone? I will if you tell me to.”
“And then what will happen to me? To my friends?”
“Nothing. The only thing that will happen is my heart will be broken.”
“I am sorry for your feelings, but yes, Viktor, please leave me alone. This is not a good thing for either of us. Why begin something that can only cause us pain and suffering? You are going back to Germany. I am going to America. I can never return to Germany. We have only a few days left together before the ship docks in Havana. It’s best if we don’t even start a romance.”
“Fine, I wouldn’t want you to feel pushed into anything.” He turned and walked away without looking back.
That night, as Elke lay in her bed trying to sleep, she remembered everything that she’d been forced to do with the men from the Gestapo. She was just a child when it began, only twelve. They were so taken with her Aryan appearance that they’d avoided arresting her or her mother in order to continue the “evening dates” with Elke. That was how they referred to the nights they would bring sausages and bread, or sugar and flour. There were four of them, all friends, all in agreement as to how much they enjoyed their time with her. Often they came one at a time, but once in a while they all come together. Sometimes they would bring dinner, but she could never eat. Because she knew what was to come next, and she dreaded the physical union. When the men were ready, they would take her to the small bedroom where she still kept her dolls and stuffed bear on the shelf over her bed. It had only been a few years since she’d stopped playing with them. And then it began. The first few times the pain had been terrible, lasting well into the following day. But as time went by, the pain ceased, and she learned that she could use her beauty to manipulate men. And so she did. That was how she’d gotten on to this ship. She’d promised them all something very special in exchange for her freedom. She’d delivered, and surprisingly they’d kept their promise. Once she‘d set sail, she assumed that her mother had probably been arrested. It saddened her, but in some ways, the resentment she felt for her mother’s allowing these men to have the evening dates with still lingered. Perhaps someday she would find it in her heart to forgive her mother, but for now, she couldn’t.
Viktor… What a puzzle he presented. She thought about him. He was a man, and men wanted only one thing, and he was a Nazi, to boot. If she were placing a bet, she would bet that Viktor was no different from the other Nazis she’d known. Best to be done with him now.
Now, Manny, he was a different story. Manny, had grown up with money and class; he reeked of it. When he’d told the stories of his travel through Europe, she knew that he’d never wanted for anything. The hotels where he’d stayed were the most luxurious. He didn’t even realize that he sounded as if he was bragging. To Manny, this was his way of life, plain and simple. He knew no other. Well, this was the life Elke yearned for, a life of opulence, of plenty. His family waited for his arrival in America. They were rich, no doubt. If she could win Manny’s affection, her life would be mapped out for her, once she left the ship in Cuba. She would go off to America at his side, marry him, and forget her past. Yes, Manny was the one she wanted.
Chapter 12
In the morning, while all the passengers were in the dining room having breakfast, the captain’s voice rang clear over the loudspeaker, offering an apology for the behavior of his crewmember in the theater the previous night. He assured the passengers he’d had no knowledge of the film that aired causing such distress among the passengers.
“It is my promise to you that the perpetrator of this offense will be punished. And while I have your attention, I would like to extend the offer of Shabbat services on Friday nights, if anyone would like to attend. We have a rabbi on board who is willing to officiate. The services will take place before dinner in the main ballroom. Once again, I apologize for last night. I remain your captain, officially in charge of the MS St. Louis.”
“Shabbat services? He seems like a dec
ent fellow.” Manny smiled at the girls.
From the side of her eye Anna glanced at Alex who remained silent, but looked at Manny as if he were a fool.
“Would you believe I have never attended a Jewish service? My mother tried to raise me like a Christian. She said that with my coloring I would pass for a German. I even wore a cross,” Elke said as she ran her hand over the white tablecloth.
“Even when you were little, before the Nazis?” Anna asked.
“Yes, she wanted to be a part of “their society,” always. Before it was Hitler’s henchmen, it was Hindenburg’s crowd. My mother had high aspirations for me…but mostly for herself. However, once the Nazi’s took power, they knew instantly from our background that we were Jewish. So, my mother’s pretense had no effect on them at all. Cross or no cross, to the Nazis we were nothing but Jews.”
“If you would like to see a Shabbat service, I would love to go with you.” Anna smiled. “It is very beautiful.”
“You know, until Kristallnacht, my mother never made much reference to the fact that we were Jewish. I knew I was, but not really… I mean all of my friends and our family friends were Gentiles. In fact it wasn’t until we had a visit from the Gestapo that I realized what I was.” Elke looked down avoiding Alex’s accusing eyes.
“Well, don’t worry too much about all that. You were just a child. You had no idea.” Manny smiled at her.
“I hope you realize now what it means to be a Jew. No matter how hard you might have tried to hide your identity…Hitler has decided that you are a Jew. And you will suffer the same fate as the other Jews.” Alex glared at her.
“Alex, don’t be cruel. It isn’t her fault. She was just a little girl.”Manny took a sip of water.
“We should be proud of our Jewish heritage. If more of us had been proud and stood up for what we believed in, before they had the chance to put us into camps, all of this might never have happened.”Alex glared at Manny.
Anna’s eyes filled with admiration as she listened to Alex speak.
“I too, am guilty of not standing up.” Manny looked over at Alex. “Not because I was ashamed, but I just never thought it would turn out to be this bad. I had Jewish and Gentile friends alike, and my religion never seemed to be of importance. We weren’t religious…my family, I mean.”
“Neither was mine, but we were Jews…and when the Nazis started their miserable propaganda against us…well…I stood up. I wrote… I wrote to the papers…” Alex hung his head. “Ahhh, Manny, maybe you’re right. All my writing...so what did it do? Where did it get me? It got my family killed; that’s what it did. And it got me a first-class place in a filthy, disease-ridden bunk in Dachau. Things are not good for Jews in Germany now, but somehow, I feel this situation is going to get a lot worse. We haven’t begun to see the Nazis in full force…”
“I hope not, but at least we won’t be in Germany to witness it.”
“Yes, Manny we won’t be there…but what about all the Jews that will not be so lucky?”
Manny shrugged his shoulders. He had nothing to say.
For a long time everyone was silent. Thoughts of Anna’s parents weighed heavily upon her mind. If things got worse in Germany, it would greatly affect their lives. Silently, she said a prayer for their safety, but even so, the little voice of terror inside of her could not be quieted.
Chapter 13
Unbeknownst to the passengers aboard the doomed, MS St. Louis, as the vessel sailed out of the port of Hamburg, all of their visas were already invalid. It was due to a change in the Cuban Government. This new leadership ruled that only 28 of the passengers had valid passports. They would be the only ones allowed to leave the ship and enter the country.
To make matters worse, Goebbels had been successful in creating a strong anti-Semitic climate in Cuba. Word spread like a plague to the Cuban people that a group of Jewish criminals was on its way to their harbor. Five days before the ship was scheduled to dock, 40,000 Cubans participated in a demonstration that strongly opposed the entrance of the Jewish immigrants to Havana. This had a marked effect on the government’s future decision to refuse entrance to all but 28 passengers.
Chapter 14
The days slipped by with ease as the ship sailed toward her destination. Aboard the MS St. Louis, one could forget that Hitler lurked in the shadows. Good food, clean water, music, SUNSHINE, and dancing helped the passengers to leave the past behind and to once again allow themselves to have hope for the future.
At close to midnight one evening, the ship’s bell clanged loudly, awakening the passengers. It was an alarm so astoundingly loud that within moments everyone had come on deck to see what had caused the ruckus. Alex felt his body tremble uncontrollably, even though he stood in the warm tropical breeze of the Atlantic Ocean. Manny, Anna, and Elke stood beside him. Manny tried to give his friends strength by appearing confident that nothing serious had taken place. Anna’s eyes were still half closed with sleep, and Elke looked surprisingly young and vulnerable without all of the makeup she wore during the day.
Together, the four friends stood awaiting an announcement as to why the bell had summoned them. As he glanced around him, Alex saw people crying. Some of the men had begun praying, swaying as the Hebrew words of prayer were whispered into the night.
It felt like hours, but within a few minutes, the captain appeared at the front of the deck. Perfectly dressed in his uniform, he stood before the crowd. His crew stood behind him in their white uniforms. From where Elke stood, she could see Viktor. His eyes met hers, and then he quickly turned away.
“As your captain, it is my responsibility to inform you of any goings on upon this vessel. So it is with great regret that I must tell you that someone has fallen from the ship. We believe it to be a crewmember; however, that has not yet been confirmed. There is no evidence as to how this happened. Perhaps it was a suicide, or maybe an accident. We don’t know at this point. We may never know. I have dispatched a rescue crew. I will keep all of you up-to-date as to the outcome of this tragic event. Please return to your rooms and try to get some sleep.”
After the captain left, the crowd began to disperse. Then a woman of middle age, her salt-and-pepper hair wild with the night wind and her face ragged with premature wrinkles, began to scream.
“I think it’s a murder. I think they plan to kill us all… They’re Nazis. Look…” She pointed with a quivering finger to the Nazi flag that flew at the front of the ship. “How can we trust them… How?” She wobbled on the brink of hysteria as a man who appeared to be her husband put his arm around her shoulder leading her away.
Now, as Alex glanced over at Anna, he saw that she was crying. It amazed him that after all the tragedy he’d witnessed in the camp, he could still feel such compassion for this small, fragile girl. He loathed sentiment; he hated to allow himself to feel. It was dangerous. In Dachau, he’d learned that to care was to hurt deeply, to die inside. To love meant loss. It left you weak and vulnerable, even more open to cruelty. Alex could bear his own pain, even his own death, but not the death of a loved one, not again. And yet, he couldn’t help himself. Whatever had come over him was well beyond his control. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he reached out with trembling fingers and touched another person. His hand rested tenderly on Anna’s upper arm. This gesture, although it was small, was monumental to Alex. The warmth of connecting to another human being sent tingles of electricity through his entire body as he stood paralyzed by the realization that he was still alive. He could still feel he could still care. The Nazis had taken so much, but God had given him his humanity and no one could take that away. She turned to him, surprised at the gesture. But she, too, felt the shock waves that ran through her with a startling emotional bond. Then, through her tears, she gazed up into his eyes. There she saw great empathy and knew the true essence of Alex. Neither of them spoke.
For a long while, the noise all around them muffled in their ears and they could no longer hear the outside world.
In this strange and magical moment, something significant had occurred.
Chapter 15
The following morning at breakfast, Anna moved from Manny’s side to sit between Manny and Alex. For the first time since he’d boarded the ship, Alex had a smile on his face and his skin seemed to have lost its chalky pallor. In fact, he appeared almost radiant. But his eyes still reflected the depth of a dark world few had ever known. Still, because of Anna, Alex had joined the living. And he’d begun to allow himself a small sliver of joy.
After they finished eating, the group went up to the deck to enjoy the morning. There was a great deal of excitement on board because they were coming close to Havana. The ship had been at sea for ten days. It would only be four more days before they would enter Cuban waters. Then their new lives would begin in earnest. As the group of friends looked out over the ocean where it met with the blue cloudy sky, they were each lost in their own thoughts. Soon this friendship they had built together and come to lean on like surrogate family during the voyage would be done, and they would go their separate ways. There could be no telling if they would ever see each other again.
Manny watched as Alex and Anna seemed to speak to each other without words. The tenderness they felt for one another reflected in their eyes. His own feelings bubbled up in a quiet rage of jealousy. He’d wanted Anna. They had been together first. Then Alex came along with his neediness and something had stirred within her. Manny could not bear to watch them together. Instead, he suggested that they all go for a swim.
“I am going to have to decline. I’d like to spend a few hours in the library.” Alex got up and stretched.
“Would it be all right if I went with you?” Anna asked.
Manny was livid.
“Of course, if you’d like,”Alex said.
“Well, only if you would like me to…”
“Yes...I would,” he replied.
The Voyage: A Historical Novel set during the Holocaust, inspired by real events Page 5