Sam
By the time we got dressed and headed out of the trailer, it was pitch black outside.
The wind had picked up, and the clouds covered the moon and the stars.
“It looks like it’s going to start raining. We better hurry up,” Hugh said.
It was only eight thirty, but it looked like it was the middle of the night. A gust of cold wind blew through me, and I shivered. Hugh noticed and hugged me to him, almost shielding me from the cold with his body. Having him so close felt nice, and it made me feel even more inebriated. My body was still riding the sex high.
I felt satisfied, and yet at the same time, I needed more.
We didn’t speak. The wind filled our silence at first, and a few minutes later, the rain took its place. It started pouring out of nowhere, as it often did in Scotland, and although we were both wearing waterproof jackets, it was hard to see and walk in the dark.
There was a road between our set and the village where we stayed that wasn’t lit, and it felt like walking right into a black hole. The only things that made me not feel scared were Hugh’s hand holding mine and the certainty that I was safe with him.
The rain subsided slightly, which made it easier for us to reach our condos. I wasn’t wet underneath my jacket, but my face was freezing, and my legs were definitely soaked. We reached my place first, and our little street was deserted. I figured most people were probably huddled inside with a glass of whisky. I gave Hugh’s hand a squeeze and said good night, but he pulled me back into his arms and kissed me—first a peck, and then two deeper, longer kisses.
“I would invite you over if I didn’t have to learn my lines,” he said against my mouth, his warm breath washing over me.
I caressed his face and nodded, trying to hold back a smile. “We have another long day tomorrow, and I really hate when the guy I have to work with acts like a little bitch.” He smiled at me, biting his bottom lip. After a few seconds, he finally let go of me. He stepped back and bowed slightly, just as he would have done during a scene on set. I picked up my imaginary gown and curtsied.
I giggled as he walked away and kept laughing because he turned every so often to look back at me. I stood on my porch watching him until I could barely see him down the little road.
I went inside the house and found Cecilia curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and her kindle in her lap, which surprised me—she was rarely alone these days.
“What? No Oliver tonight?” I asked.
“Good heavens! You’re soaked! What were you doing out there? Are you bloody insane, Sam? Why are you just now getting home anyway?”
“I had to stay after you left because Hugh had reshoots…and then I went for a walk. He was in a really pissy mood today. I had to get it out of my system. I was fine until it started raining.” I felt bad lying to Cecilia, but it wasn’t a complete fabrication; he had been in a terrible mood all day.
“Do you know why he was in such a bad mood?” she asked.
“Maybe he was just tired. I honestly have no idea.” Things had gotten so out of hand, I had completely forgotten to ask him why he’d been so cranky.
“Jake came looking for you,” she said with a smile, raising her eyebrows.
“Huh, really?” Jake was persistent. Had he not gotten the gist after I’d left without even a good-bye? Besides, it’s not like there had been anything going on between us, ever. We flirted the first week, but after I turned him down and he moved on to the redhead, we only hung out in groups. We had seen each other in social settings, but I didn’t think I had been friendly to the point that he’d think it would be okay to stop by…until the night before. We had hung out, I had sort of given him a lap dance, he’d put the moves on me, but I had shut him down and left. Why was it so hard to get the message?
“I wonder what that’s about.” I hung my jacket and started taking my wet shoes and clothes off by the door.
“Um, I know what that’s about,” she said, cupping her hands in front of her breasts to mimic the size of mine. I shook my head.
“There’s plenty of this to go around here. He could be hitting up just about anyone else,” I replied.
“Oh, but he wants you. I saw how he looked at you last night. He’s really attractive, although way too much of a flirt. I’m sure he’d be perfect to just fuck here and there…if that’s what you want…which you don’t.” I laughed at her ramblings. “Then again, it’s obvious why you couldn’t care less—why bother with Jake when you can have McHottie?”
I flinched. “McHottie? What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, Sam. Do you really think I’m blind? Hugh, of course! You two have been dancing around each other for weeks. It didn’t sound like you were alone on the porch. You were with him, weren’t you? Are you guys going to have sex any time soon or not? The sexual tension around you two is unbearable. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe,” she said, fanning herself.
I took a deep breath and told myself to put into practice what Amira had taught me about acting. “What? Did you not see him being a complete asshole to me this morning? Yes, he walked me home, but nothing happened.” Hopefully, she missed the kissing…
She frowned, deep in thought, as if trying to figure something out. “Ha! I remember now! He was at the pub last night, briefly. He saw you and Jake during your ‘Pony’ performance. You should have seen his face when you were singing and giving Jake a lap dance. I almost felt sorry for the bloke.”
“Okay, maybe I was teasing Jake—it was his song choice after all—but I wasn’t trying to lead him on.”
“I know, but come on—Jake was totally into it, and Hugh looked pissed. He stormed out of there a few minutes after. I mean, the guy is usually a joy to be around, and he was livid. You should have seen him.”
“Well, now I am pissed. I still don’t believe he was jealous, but even if he were, he had no right to treat me so coldly. He was a total jerk all day,” I said, feigning exasperation, hoping Cecilia would believe me. I did feel bad for not telling her the truth, but Hugh and I had been hot and cold so many damned times in the last couple of weeks, I honestly didn’t know what was in store for us the next day.
“But you made up, right? Did he apologize for being an ass?” she asked.
“Y-yes,” I lied, realizing he hadn’t actually apologized for anything. The dude owed me.
Hugh
I just realized you never apologized to me for being an ass. That’s pretty shitty.
The screen flashed with a text from Sam. She was right. I unlocked the home screen and typed a response.
You’re right. I’m sorry. I was a total ass. Come here now and I will apologize a million times. :-)
No way, man. You will never learn your lines if I come over there.
I sighed, disappointed. She was right.
You’re right. You can’t come over. I would end up devouring you all night. I would never learn my lines, and tomorrow I’d suck so bad I would just make everyone waste a bunch of time.
If you’re good to me tomorrow, I’ll come over in the evening.
I’ll be looking forward to that all day.
Sam
As weeks went by, I hoped I would start feeling more at home. I wasn’t as homesick as I had been in the beginning, and my evenings weren’t quite as lonely anymore. Hugh and I didn’t have much time to spend together after work, but we tried to make it count. He wanted to tell Nora so we wouldn’t have to hide as much, but I convinced him to sit tight for a couple of reasons. The first was that after their media campaign, we’d have reporters show up for interviews and photo shoots from time to time, and I didn’t really want to deal with all that.
The second—and most important—reason was that Nora knew about me. She knew what had happened back in LA. If Hugh wanted to tell Nora, it meant I would have to tell him the truth, and although I wanted to get the weight off my chest, I was afraid of his reaction. I was scared of what he’d think of me. I wasn’t used to having to hide anyt
hing, and sometimes I worried he could see on my face that something was wrong. I needed to tell him the truth, but I wasn’t ready.
Despite lack of time together, things were going great between us. On our days off, we’d meet up on the hill where we met the first time and go for a hike. It was nice to be able to hold hands and kiss him out in the open, even though we still tried to be careful. A couple times, we met in Edinburgh and went to visit Margaret in the hospital. Her baby had to stay in the incubator for a few weeks, and the new parents had momentarily relocated to Scotland. Margaret was staying in Edinburgh, and her husband came up on the weekends. Posy Lake was growing and doing well, and Margaret looked happy despite the stress of not being able to go home with her newborn yet.
For the first time in a long time, I felt happy, but I still couldn’t say I had gotten used to the climate. In fact, I liked to joke that Scotland and I were in a love/hate relationship. As much as I was falling in love with Scotland’s amazing scenery and the warm and infectious people, the weather never ceased to be a thorn in my side—and not for lack of trying. I observed my colleagues at work, and I did everything they did. I dressed like them, using the same type of gear, yet it wasn’t enough. When we had outdoor scenes, my teeth would not stop chattering. I didn’t complain, but on more than one occasion, I felt I was the weak link of the crew.
I didn’t want to fail, especially with all that had happened back home with Eric. I needed this to work out. However, on those trying days, everyone could read the struggle on my face, Hugh more than anyone else. After a particularly long and cold day, he asked me if I was doing okay.
“I thought Scotland and I had an understanding, a deal of some sort,” I grumbled, frustrated. He broke into a rich, deep laugh, which made me feel even sillier about the whole thing.
“You don’t strike a deal with Scotland,” he replied, trying to rein in his laugh. “Scotland is like a maddening woman you can’t get enough of. You’re supposed to give in and accept everything, the good and the bad,” he said with a gleam in his eyes, his expression a mix of amusement and mischief. I scoffed, taken aback by his words. He leaned down to kiss me on the lips, and his were warm, soft, and inviting, but I didn’t reciprocate the kiss. He stopped and met my glare.
“Am I the maddening woman in this scenario?”
“Maybe,” he joked as he leaned down to kiss me again. I almost wanted to give in, but then I pulled back.
“I would watch what you say, Mr. Actor, unless you want your chest accidentally waxed again.”
“Ouch. No.” He patted his chest with his hand, his face scrunched up in a pout, remembering how bad it had hurt the last time. The frown turned into a dangerous-looking smile when his eyes met mine. He reached for me, this time lifting my chin and kissing me again. He possessed my mouth in every possible way, leaving me breathless before too long.
He broke the kiss and pulled me to the couch, motioning for me to straddle him. As I leaned closer to him, I was ready to crash my lips against his, but he had other ideas. His thumb traced the contour of my bottom lip as we both panted for air, and just like that, my body was awoken again. His eyes seemed to capture every detail of my face, as if he hadn’t memorized it yet. Then, as if suddenly coming out of a haze, he started taking my clothes off urgently, making me feel as though he couldn’t get me naked fast enough. I enjoyed his excitement and loved the high that came from feeling wanted. I didn’t know what turned me on more: the way his breath came in fast and ragged, the concentrated look in his eyes, or his hands covering every inch of my body as clothes were shed. My throat went dry, aching for him, needing to feel him everywhere. His blue, steely eyes were searing as a blaze when they met mine. How could I resist him when he looked at me so ardently? How could I ever be indifferent to him now that I knew the way it felt to be touched by him? He slowed down again, placing a kiss on my lips and then letting go. I stroked his erection above his clothes, and the strangled moan that escaped his mouth caused my belly to tighten with a delicious ache. His thumb caressed my top lip then went down my chin, tracing my skin from my neck to my clavicle, all the way down to the swell of my breast, down to my erect nipple. He took it between his thumb and forefinger, teasing it, and gave me a burning look before dipping his head to suck on it. I arched my back against him, a low, guttural moan escaping my lips as I rocked my hips against his. His lips left my nipple, and he placed soft kisses between my breasts as his warm breath washed over me.
“You’re not maddening, Sam. What’s maddening is how much I want ye all the time.”
Sam
“You know, we’ve slept together, but I’ve never been to your place.” He said it in a low, hushed tone, but I still glared at him. I was working on him, applying touch-ups between scenes, and we were outside, surrounded by the crew. I gave him a horrified glance.
“Would you shush? Do you want someone to overhear that?”
“I haven’t even been invited to one of your parties…yet.” He gave me a cheeky grin, one that was so stupidly irresistible it made me break into a fit of giggles. I shook my head in disbelief, trying to stop myself from smiling.
“I thought we agreed it was best to stay away from each other in public,” I whispered as soon as I regained some composure, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention.
“What happens at these house parties everyone talks about anyway?” His eyes sparkled with a wicked gleam, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
I laughed. “What do you think happens? There aren’t any spin-the-bottle type of games if that’s what you’re asking.”
“You guys don’t play spin the bottle, aye?” he teased.
“No, it’s more a game of empty the bottle,” I joked, thinking about the many empty bottles of wine I’d thrown away a couple weeks before.
His eyes were full of mischief, and when he combined the smolder with a heart-stopping smile, I had no choice but to give in. “Fine. Why don’t you come over tonight? Bring a few actors with you so it won’t look suspicious.”
“He really likes you,” Melissa said to me later that evening as we cleaned up the kitchen. I had made a Crock-Pot pot roast with potatoes. Dinner at our place had become such a hit, people had started bringing food over to accommodate the growing number of people attending. Hugh came over with a couple of actors, and we kept our distance, as torturous as it was. We only allowed ourselves to talk a little bit and have a seemingly normal conversation, trying not to gaze into each other’s eyes for too long. It was hard to pull back and keep my hands to myself, especially with the way he always looked at me, all brooding and longing. The smolder was on at all times, even though he didn’t need to charm me any more than he already did. I was constantly starving for his touch and his kisses.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said to Melissa, trying to act surprised, but she reassured me right away.
“Don’t. He told me about you two.” Well, that would have been nice to know. “Oh, don’t look so worried, Sam. It’s just that we have so many scenes together, I noticed the shift in his mood. You make him really happy.”
“Um, thanks?” I frowned. I had no idea where this conversation was going. She was the one who was supposed to be his potential girlfriend in public.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I don’t have any intention of following through with the network’s request. To be honest, I think it would be a disaster.”
I gave her a quizzical look.
“Look at all the TV and movie couples who’ve been asked to ‘act it up’ for the media. I mean, this isn’t a reality show. This is my job. I love it, but that doesn’t mean I want it to take over my entire life.”
“I understand.” I did, but I was also a little surprised by Melissa’s comment. As a rising star herself, I thought she’d jump at the opportunity to fake a relationship to create more buzz about the show and establish her status in Hollywood.
“Of course, it wouldn’t be hard to pretend to be attracted
to Hugh…if he was my cup of tea, that is.” I laughed at that, because it was hard for me to conceive that other people might not find him sexy or interesting. The man had charm in spades, and it wasn’t just his pretty face that got me all hot and bothered. He was also goofy and funny, a natural storyteller. I loved his self-deprecating humor, and he was kind, attentive, and generous—Margaret had told me he’d let her stay at his apartment so she wouldn’t have to stress about finding a place while she was in Edinburgh for the baby.
“So, who’s your type, Melissa?” I asked her, curious to find out if there was any other guy whom she found sexier.
“Please, call me Issa.” I had heard some people address her that way on set, but we hadn’t worked together at all, even before Margaret left for maternity leave, so I didn’t want to be presumptuous. “I hate my name. It’s so…generic.” I laughed at that, because all my childhood I had wished for a name as generic as Melissa.
She suddenly looked serious. She briefly looked around, and when her eyes were on me again, she said, “I hope you can keep this to yourself, Sam. I am not ready for everyone to know…yet.” I stared at her in confusion. “My type is more...feminine. I like women. I’m gay.”
Oh.
I looked at her a bit surprised, because I’d had no idea whatsoever.
“I see,” I said with a smile.
“My sexual orientation is another reason I don’t want to agree to this charade. If we go along with it, even for a little bit, we’ll be trapped for years. People will expect it from us, they’ll want to see us together, and if we decided to stop acting away from the set, they will lose their goddamned mind. Don’t get me wrong—Hugh is a fantastic actor and a beautiful person, and I hope we can be friends for years to come, but I have no intention of pretending for the cameras. I’m honestly a bit disappointed they even asked us to do that. They should know better than that. Fake relationships always backfire anyway.”
Lost in Scotland Page 17