by Patti Larsen
She glanced back over her shoulder. “Yeah, just got back from surfing.” She tossed her long, black hair over her shoulder, still wet from her swim. “You have to come visit this summer. We'll have a blast.”
“Done.” I let out a long sigh, not meaning to, but the relief of talking to someone who knew me really well tapped into my emotions.
“Uh-oh.” Her expression fell, concern all over her pretty face, dark eyes fixed on me. “You okay?”
I nodded quickly. “Yeah, fine,” I said. “You put up with me dumping on you all semester. I'm not doing it now. Besides, it's nothing you haven't heard before.”
Sashenka's lower lip popped out at she nodded in sympathy. “Quaid.”
“And Liam.” I sat back and grinned at her, though I felt like a total idiot. “Why did you let me drop all that Quaid stuff on the guy who thinks he's in love with me?”
She snorted softly, rolling her eyes, white teeth flashing against her dark skin. “Like you would have listened to me,” she said. “Besides, Liam is a great shoulder.” She paused. “Two shoulders, actually.”
Go away, stab of jealousy. Sashenka meant her compliment in the best way.
“I know,” I said. “He kind of gave it to me tonight. Finally told me he was tired of it.” I let her see my guilt. “I feel terrible. Why didn't I ever think of his feelings? I'm such a jerk.”
Sashenka didn't say anything for a long moment, so long I was starting to feel sorry for myself after all, despite my choice otherwise.
“It's really hard to see what's right in front of us sometimes,” she finally said, voice thoughtful. “How the one we want is bad for us, but the one we need is so familiar and there all the time we don't even realize what could happen if we just let go of one and embrace the other.” She flushed, pink rising to shine in her dark cheeks. “That came out stupid.”
“No,” I said, “it didn't.” She was so right it made me want to shake myself. “You're saying I only want Quaid because I can't have him, but I don't want Liam because I can?”
Damn it. I hated psychology. Especially when the twinge in my gut said there might be something to it.
Sashenka's smile was gentle. “Just something to think about, maybe? You've been struggling with this for a while—it might be time to ask yourself why.”
Like I didn't have enough to think about. I quickly filled her in on my pending visit to Dad's plane and got the same warning and concern mixed with partial excitement from her I had from Liam.
I was ready to sign off, climb into bed and try to get a good night's sleep when Sashenka stopped me.
“Syd,” she said, hesitant, face scrunched as though she struggled with what she was about to say.
“Just say it,” I said with a smile. “I won't take it the wrong way. I promise.”
She nodded quickly and sighed. “I'm jealous,” she said. “Of you and Liam. Of how much he loves you. I just wish you'd see it, too.”
She hung up the video call before I could answer.
It was a long time before my churning thoughts let me finally fall asleep.
***
Chapter Five
I had just set one stumbling foot on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing sleepily at my face after a night of tossing and turning, when my progress was suddenly blocked by a very cranky old lady. Gram grasped the railing with one hand, putting herself in my way so I had to stop and take what she was about to dish out.
“Listen to me, girl,” she said, voice almost a hiss as her blue eyes trapped me with their intensity, no longer the faded color I was used to, but flooded with magic. “If you let anything happen to yourself over there, I’m bringing you back from the dead and kicking your skinny ass.”
Her whole body shook, lips turned down into a frown so deep her mouth almost disappeared completely in the folds of her wrinkles. I’d never seen her so upset.
No, not upset.
Afraid.
I reached out and hugged her, pulling her resisting and stiffened body against me, feeling the boniness of her through her pink fluffy housecoat, how she trembled, a relentless statue of anxiety.
Gram, I sent. I love you.
If I’d wondered why she’d not touched my mind to deliver her message, something much more common than her actually opening her mouth to speak, I understood the moment my thoughts reached hers.
Gram’s body crumpled into mine as she finally clung to me, her heart wide open, the terror and frustration she felt raw and anguished.
I love you too, Sydlynn Thaddea Hayle. Her mental voice shook as much as her frail body. Don’t you ever leave me.
I pulled back and tried to smile, though it was hard through the tears choking me, the tightness in my throat threatening my air supply. I cleared it twice before I could speak out loud.
“You really need to learn to trust me.”
Gram’s tension eased slightly as she blew a raspberry with her thin lips. “Trust you? You, I trust.” She pinched my arm so hard I let out a yelp and covered the offended area with my other hand. “That demon bitch? Never.”
Okay then. And while I couldn’t bring myself to chalk Gram’s attitude up to jealousy, I wondered at her attitude.
“Something I should know about what’s happening here?” I was done playing. Time for answers.
Gram crossed her arms over her chest, tried for stern crazy lady with a heart of stone. I knew better.
“Just watch yourself.” She shook her head, white fluff of her hair swaying as she did. “I don’t like her or her politics. Hell, Harry doesn’t like her and she’s his mother.” Gram softened, fingers stroking over my cheek. “Just be careful. Promise me.”
“I promise.” There the warning was again. Like I was running off to do something stupid. But now she had me really worried. There had been times in the past a good dose of worry actually saved my butt, so I wasn’t really complaining, but it definitely took the fun out of my anticipation.
Gram turned and stumped her way back down the hall, going into her room and thudding the door shut solidly behind her. I wouldn’t call it slamming, exactly, but she was pretty close.
Okay then.
Things were forcefully lighthearted in the kitchen as Mom served up pancakes with her false smile telling me loud and clear she just wanted everything to be okay. There was a time I almost bought her act, mostly because I didn’t want to know otherwise. But the older I became, the more experience I had, the easier it was to see right through her.
I hugged her around the spatula and bowl of batter in her hands, letting my magic out to her for the first time in a long time. Her power embraced mine swiftly, almost desperately, as though she’d been waiting for me to make the first move.
Mom, I sent. I love you, you know. It’s going to be okay.
Oh, Syd. Her power held me as much as her arms did. We have so much to talk about.
I pulled back, met her eyes. Like?
I’ve been a terrible mother. Her face crumpled a little, but she still clung to her smile, more for her own sake I was thinking than Meira’s or mine. These past few months have been hard on you and your sister. And I haven’t been there for you the way I’ve wanted to.
All the resentment and bitterness washed away as she smiled at me, really smiled, and when she pulled free her magic remained with me as she dished out another batch of pancakes.
We spent the morning talking about everything from school to politics to the newest batch of dancers on my favorite competition show, sitting in the living room, curled up on the sofa in our pajamas, the three of us laughing and sharing like we used to when I was young. Gram even joined us, her smartass comments mixed with Sassy’s dry humor filling me up with so much love for my family I almost reconsidered going with Dad.
Meira finally left to get ready, but I lingered, watching Gram totter off, Sassy swaying his fat cat way behind her. Before I could leave, Mom reached out to me again.
Quaid. She said his name in my head paired with a
rush of love and protection drawing out sobs threatening to crush my chest. I know he hurt you. I wanted to be there for you. But I wasn’t.
Mom. I could only get that one word out before I crumpled sideways, my head in her lap, and cried over my still-broken heart. I told her everything, how I’d given him all of me and it just wasn’t enough. She didn’t judge, didn’t get upset, just stroked my hair and let me feel how much she loved me.
This was what I needed, what I’d craved since Quaid broke up with me months earlier, after I’d been foolish enough to surrender my body, heart and soul to him. I just needed my mother to tell me everything was going to be okay. Weird how I held onto it for so long.
I finally sat up as Mom leaned close and stroked my hair away from my tear-stained cheeks. “It is, you know,” she whispered. “Going to be all right. But you and Quaid have a destiny, my beautiful, powerful, amazing child. Whatever that destiny turns out to mean for you both, I don’t know. Only that I’m here for you, always. Always.”
I hugged her and nodded into her hair, heart the lightest it had been in months. “Thanks, Mom.”
She sighed softly and kissed my cheek before letting me go. “Now,” she said. “Promise me something.”
“Let me guess.” I rolled my eyes, but grinned as I swiped at the wetness on my face with the hem of my t-shirt. “Be careful on Demonicon.”
Mom’s little smile back was brief as fear flashed in her eyes. “You are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself,” she said, shocking me right to the tips of my toes. Really? She thought that? “But I’m your mother. And I worry. You and your sister are very important to me, you know, no matter how things have been between us lately.”
“I know,” I said. “I can live with that.” A tiny flutter of my own fear raced through me. “Is she really so bad?” Dad didn’t talk about his family at all. In fact, I’d never really even thought about how he had to have parents, siblings, cousins. Not until Sassy’s father, Theridialis, mentioned them to me when I was on Demonicon, trying to save Dad.
What was I walking into?
“Your grandmother is… a powerful demon.” Mom’s hands tightened into fists in her lap. “She has been Ruler for so long, it’s all she knows. And that affects her choices. Her actions.”
Did Mom worry she might be falling under the same influence? Maybe. But if so, she didn’t confess it to me.
“Look after your sister.” She patted my hand and rose to her feet, as tall and elegant as always, though the sunlight streaming through the window highlighted the deepening lines in her once flawless face and the strand or two of silver now running through her midnight hair. “And whatever happens, come home before dark.”
“We will,” I said.
I spent a reflective half hour in the shower, thinking about Quaid, Mom, Gram, my sister. About Liam and Sashenka and my dad. The trip I was about to take. And even though it should have left me swirling with confusion and mentally worn out, I found myself refreshed, almost light-hearted, when I emerged from the steam and hot water.
Maybe I was growing up finally.
I chose my clothing carefully, slipping into a nice blue sundress, my best color, and cute silver shoes, even wearing the lovely pentagram necklace Mom gave me for my fifteenth birthday, a match to the one she’d always worn. I stared at it as I stood in front of the mirror, realizing I’d never actually had it on my body. How had I not sensed the thread of Mom’s magic running through it, the touch of her present in it? No wonder I’d rejected it back then when I didn’t want anything to do with magic. But it reminded me of the one Meira and I replaced, and as I held the shining silver in my palm, I promised myself I’d never again take it off.
With my simple layer of mascara, lip gloss and my mother’s power to fortify me, I descended to the kitchen, reaching the bottom of the stairs just as I felt Dad’s power flood the basement.
He emerged in the sunlit kitchen as I entered, hugging Mom who looked like she was doing her best not to cry. Gram was nowhere in sight and when I tried to reach her with my magic she cut me off.
Her leave me alone sign was hung and I wasn’t about to push her.
Mom followed us down the stairs, Sassy scampering first as Dad let Meira and I go ahead of him. I glanced over my shoulder at Charlotte who padded silently behind me, head down, face pale.
The familiar tingle of family magic ran into my feet and up my legs as I stepped onto the concrete floor and approached the pentagram. Before Mom could ask, I reached out to the coven, my coven, and let them feel me with them.
Meira and I have been invited to meet my grandmother on Demonicon. I’d thought long and hard about what to tell them and decided straight forward was the way to go. We’ll be gone most of the day, but Gram is still here for you if you need anything.
I half expected her not to show, but her magic surged through mine, as powerful and balanced as ever.
Good thing, too. The sudden press of concern and anxiety from the family made my stomach upset. I kept my own power calm, steady, level and they soon relaxed though their clinginess gave me the willies.
Safe travels, coven leader. Gram’s mental voice gave away none of her own worries.
I let them go, softening the connection before I cut it off. Not completely. Never completely. I was their leader and they were with me always. But enough I could have my own thoughts, my own life. Back to the usual.
Gram’s mind caressed me before she cut me off abruptly.
Sign firmly in place again. Gotcha.
Dad stepped into the middle of the pentagram, close to his effigy. I moved to join him, Meira and Sassafras already crossing the space when hands grabbed me and held me back. I turned to see Charlotte’s face compressed into a tense mask of stress, her blue eyes pleading with me.
For the first time I felt it, the thin and shallow thread of magic holding her to me. But not me to her. This attachment thing she’d created when she swore herself to me was a one way street. No wonder I hadn’t been aware. But it was crystal clear to me now as she stood there, shaking, the wolf inside her flashing in her eyes over and over as she fought for control of herself.
“You can’t go.” Roughness colored her words, a half growl echoing softly from her chest. “You can’t.”
I glanced at Mom who nodded, face grim, and slowly approached my bodywere.
“I have to, Charlotte.” I hugged her on impulse, was surprised she didn’t stiffen and pull away, but sank against me. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be back soon.”
“No,” Charlotte said, voice firm, hands tightening as she pulled away and latched onto me. “I won’t allow it.”
Mom was closer, focused on the girl, moving slowly, clearly not wanting to startle her.
“We could cut the connection,” I said. “Then you would be free.”
Charlotte’s whole body jerked so violently I cried out from her grip on me.
“Never,” she snarled.
Oh dear.
What would my leaving do to her? I had no idea what the magic she’d created meant, not really. Why had I never explored it before? Suddenly worried, I met Mom’s eyes. She settled her hands on Charlotte’s shoulders, letting her power envelope the werewolf girl.
Charlotte sighed softly and stepped back. The connection was still there if I really hunted for it, but Mom had somehow dulled the edges, calming Charlotte down.
“You’d better go now,” Mom said. “I’ll take care of her.”
“Will it hurt her?” I hesitated one last moment. The last thing I wanted was to damage the weregirl.
Mom frowned a little, focusing before shaking her head. “I don’t believe so,” Mom said. “Just make her unhappy for a while.”
Charlotte’s eyes flickered to wolf again and she seemed to struggle a little in Mom’s grip.
Right. Time to go.
“Okay,” I said, “but when I get home tonight, we’re looking into this. I’ve put it off for too long.”
Mom nodded
and drew Charlotte closer even as I turned and joined Dad and my sister, demon cat poised at my feet.
“Be well,” Mom said, sadness in her voice, but a little smile on her face, a real smile. “Take care of them, Harry.”
“I will, my love.” One of Dad’s big hands settled on my shoulder, the other holding Meira to him. “We’ll be back soon.”
I felt him reach for the veil, added my power to his. This was no simple parting to slide inside and ride it where I wanted to go on my plane. Cutting through to Demonicon took a great deal of power. Dad’s movements back and forth were easier because it was only his spirit traveling. To get Meira and I across in our physical bodies would take much more.
I was surprised then to find how easily the veil parted for us, until I felt an answering magic on the other side. Had to be Theridialis, Sassy’s father, giving us the energy boost we needed to break through.
Just as we slid toward it, I felt Quaid’s mind reach for mine, but it was too late, far too late to find out what he wanted. Besides, as the veil sealed around me, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to hear him over the sound of Charlotte howling.
***
Chapter Six
I’d crossed enough times I was used to the falling feeling in the pit of my stomach, the way everything wobbled slightly as my feet found solid ground again. At least I didn’t have to pitch forward onto my hands and knees and puke this time.
That would have sucked. Not because I cared if Theridialis saw me throw up. He’d been my main witness the first time it happened. But because his tower laboratory wasn’t as empty as the previous times I’d visited.
Meira wobbled next to me, but Dad’s firm grip on her saved her from a face-plant. Damn, hadn’t I warned her? Maybe. I guess there was no real way to adequately explain the experience. One had to go through it personally. I was pretty impressed she was upright and a little jealous, to be honest.
All of those thoughts flickered and fluttered through my mind as I tried to grasp the large group of what looked like guardsmen and the tall, slender female demon standing next to Theridialis. Sassy’s father looked rather uncomfortable even as the woman surged forward with a huge smile, her black hair tied severely at the nape of her neck, tiny triangles of gemstones winking from her right cheek. She wore a flowing gown of gold and red floating from her like a cloud, though the tall and imposing collar seemed slightly ridiculous.