by Patti Larsen
She shook her head, face pressed into my shoulder. “I love Mom and Gram and everyone,” she whispered. “But I love it here, too.” She looked up, eyes wide. “Even the fighting.” Like she was saying something bad. “I feel whole for the first time in my life.” She sagged against me. “I'm a terrible person.”
I rested my cheek on the top of her head and sighed. “No, you're not,” I said. “You're allowed to be happy, you know that, right? On your own terms?” I shoved aside the image of her so aged and tried to just be there for her without my own fears spilling over and making things worse.
“It's just... you get everything.” Meira backed away, face contorted as she struggled with what she was feeling. “I don't mean to be jealous of you, Syd,” she said, more tears flowing down her cheeks, “I really don't. But I can't help it sometimes.”
Jealous? Of me?
“You're the coven leader,” she said, shoulders sagging. “You have two guys in love with you, both amazing.” Okay, kinda true. But way off base, if she knew how I struggled with them. “You're beautiful and don't have to hide it.” Sigh. “And now you get to live forever and be Ruler and everything.” She threw her hands up in the air. “And I get to stay home and die. That's just great.” She stared at me with her heart in her eyes. “Can't I just have one thing?”
I'd done everything I could, or thought I had, to make sure Meira knew how important she was to me, how much I loved her. I always thought I'd done a good job, was a good big sister. But obviously there were things I'd missed, perceptions she had I couldn't begin to fathom.
“Meems,” I said, opening my arms as she rushed to me again and held on. “I never, ever want you to feel like you're second best.”
“I am,” she said, almost a wail.
“No way,” I shot back. “No. Way. You are amazing and beautiful and unique. No one is like you and never will be. I love you so much, you know that. And I only ever want for you what makes you happy.”
She snuffled. “Even if that means I want to stay?”
“Absolutely,” I said, heart breaking. What would I tell Mom?
Oh, right. Trapped. Problem solved.
“I love fitting in here,” Meira said as she pulled away, wiping at her cheeks with both hands. A little smile emerged. “No one stares for the wrong reasons and those demons I fought, they were scared of me after.” She went a little pale. “That's bad too, isn't it?”
“Not here,” I said. “You want them to be afraid. And they should be. You kick ass.”
She giggled. “I do.” Her amber eyes glittered with almost evil glee as she shed the last of her upset. “So do you.”
“Not according to Mr. Bossy Pants.” Meira giggled again at the nickname for our demon cat.
“I'm a really good fighter,” she said, “and I know I'd do well here. Make it to Second Plane someday, I'm sure of it.”
“You should be there now,” I said.
Meira hesitated before blurting, “Grandmother offered me an advance in status to match yours if I stayed.”
The bitch. As much as I understood my grandmother's political motivations, it pissed me off to no end she manipulated my sister and her need to feel like she belonged—and now to keep herself from a human lifespan—in order to get what she wanted.
“She said I'd have a place at her side, be royalty. Second to no one.” Meira blushed. “But that's not true, is it? The only way I could be first is if I was Ruler.”
My stomach clenched. “I'm sure she was just trying to help.”
Meira nodded slowly, face falling. “She's been playing me, hasn't she?”
“She's really good at it,” I said.
My sister had always been sheltered, acted younger than her age for a long time, loved and coddled by the coven. But the last few years had undone most of that. The mature young woman who met my eyes, despite her mere ten years, made me feel old.
“Let's go talk to Dad,” she said.
As we headed for the platform and Dad's quarters below, I knew we had to find a way to get home even more now. Before my sister took her new knowledge out on someone.
I reached for Dad as we stepped onto the platform.
Coming your way, I shot at him, not pulling my anger.
What's happened? He reached for me, but I shoved him aside.
You have some explaining to do, I sent. No more secrets.
He pulled away and severed the connection, but not before I felt the sadness in his mind.
So it was true, then. He already knew what I was going to confront him about.
Wonderful.
When the elevator slammed to a halt, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I almost didn't catch myself, falling to one knee instead of flat on my face. Meira cried out, keeping her feet, but swaying like she'd been struck.
Fear grasped me by the throat and shook me as my mind went immediately to falling. Something was very wrong and all I could think of was plunging, the useless platform underneath us, the mile or so straight down to the street below.
The sight of four masked figures landing in our midst drove the fear out and let my anger take over. I welcomed it, surging to my feet, my demon emerging full throttle, roaring in rage, leaping for the first one who slid sideways and went over the side with a cry.
No shields. The fear fought my fury, trying to crawl out my throat and scream itself to death, but I couldn't fall apart, not with my sister fighting a masked assailant, two more coming toward me.
I drew in my power, calling on all of my magic, Shaylee and the vampire coming to my call just as the two entered my personal space. Vines of magic snaked out, taking first the female, then the male around the ankles, jerking their feet out from under them, sending them sprawling. In that moment I knew who they were, but the information did me no good as the girl, recovering first, dove for me while her partner shot at me with a bolt of amber fire.
It was easy to block his attack, but I was too slow to avoid her completely. She tackled me, pulling me down, rolling over on top of me, so close to the edge I could barely breathe. I heard Meira scream my name just as the male side of their little team pounced, the girl sliding away, his feet impacting my hip and sending me spinning over the edge of the platform and into open air.
My fingers caught the lip, just barely, power of earth burrowing deep into the stone as Shaylee caught and held me with her energy. Panting, terror slowing everything down like a horror movie, I couldn't scream because I couldn't breathe.
I had to pull myself up. Use magic. Do something. I felt my demon energy roar, the pooling of my witch power, reaching, pulling, shoving me back up.
Only to have my link to the platform severed as the wards came back on.
I had one final glimpse of my sister reaching for me, screaming my name, before I fell.
***
Chapter Twenty Seven
There was an odd excitement to falling I hadn't expected once the initial terror burned off. The air rushed past me in a gale, whistling in my ears, though the passion of its passing tore at my clothing and forced my body to ripple uncontrollably. It took me a few seconds to get past the idea of dying before my demon roared and shook me, taking control of our magic, diving for the veil.
Only to meet the same stone wall as before, even the rubbery membrane out of reach.
This time she wasn't taking no for an answer and neither was I, damn it. Forget this dying shtick—not while I had power to fight it. I reached deep, pulling from all of my magicks, leaning into the veil as hard as I could. Shaylee and my vampire core poured energy into my demon, now more powerful than she'd ever been.
And in that moment, while my body slowly spun sideways, as I now faced the ground rushing toward me, what was once tiny and antlike now alarmingly large and growing bigger by the second, I felt the veil soften, weaken.
And part.
We were inside in a flash, about a breath before the ground made me into something gooey, the slickness sucking me along in the dark, welcomi
ng me home. My demon roared again, in delight this time, even as my body quivered in reaction to our near death.
Meira. I didn't have time to think of myself. I let my anger have its head, surging through the edge of the veil to the platform, slicing through the wards and landing next to my sister as the three assailants tried to pull her off the elevator and down a dark tunnel low on the mountain.
She'd done well, her power blazing around her, but I wasn't about to let her fight alone.
One of them ran at the sight of me, disappearing inside, but the other two took one look and flickered into the veil.
Oh hell no. I grabbed Meira and tore the edge open, flying after them. It was different inside this time, trying to track them. But I could feel them still, the echo of their passing, though by the time I figured out what I was doing they were long gone. Their persons, anyway.
They left their fear behind for my demon to snarl at in satisfaction.
I dropped us out in Dad's quarters, Meira grinning up at me with a fierceness triggering my own toothy snarl, though she shook as much as I did now that we were safe.
“Thought you were dead,” she said, punching my arm as Dad leaped to his feet at our sudden arrival, Sassafras staring, Theridialis also half out of his chair, gaping like a suffocating fish.
“You too,” I said, punching her back. I met Dad's eyes, letting him see how much anger I still had inside me. “That was a rush.”
“Do tell,” Sassy said.
Boy, did I. And when I became too furious to speak, Meira took over. I spent the rest of her tale in my typical pacing back and forth, hands clasped behind my back so tightly I didn't think they'd ever come apart.
Dad sagged back in his chair as Meira wrapped up, staring at me like he didn't know me.
“Syd,” he whispered. “Are you all right?”
“I was tossed over the side of a mountain,” I said. “What do you think?”
“And yet,” Theridialis said, eyes narrowed as he stood and came to my side, power tickling along the edges of mine, “you managed to use the veil. Despite the fact it was somehow closed to you. Interesting.”
“Does this mean I can go home now?” Home. Yup. Please and thanks.
“I don't think so,” he said. “But there is hope now, yes?”
Hope. Lovely.
I spun on Dad, able to talk again. “So about this whole living forever thing?” I jabbed a finger into Theridialis's round belly since he was close enough to vent my rage on. “When were the pair of you going to get around to telling me?”
Dad had the good grace to look tragic. That's how I was feeling, kind of, so it diffused a little of my anger. “It's not just because you're half demon,” he said. “While we are exceptionally long-lived, you, my daughter, are truly immortal.”
Theridialis was nodding. “Consider, you also carry the soul of a Sidhe princess inside you, my dear. An immortal spirit tied to yours.”
“And now you have the vampire essence as well,” Sassy said. “Immortal number two. Add your demon’s extended lifespan and it's not exactly a shocker, Syd.”
All of my rage vanished in a sudden need to feel sorry for myself. I crossed to the table and sank into a chair, sadness taking me over. This sucked, big time. It meant I'd outlive everyone I loved.
Well, not everyone, maybe. Sassafras came to me and climbed into my lap, putting his paws on my shoulders, head-butting me with his fuzzy forehead.
“I've said goodbye to so many Hayle witches,” he whispered. “It'll be nice to have you around for a while.”
I hugged him, tears brimming. Now I knew how he felt, or could imagine it. Bad enough to have to see Gram die someday. Mom. But people who I was supposed to grow old with?
Oh. My. Swearword.
Quaid.
Liam.
Love.
I couldn't do it to either of them.
Sassy pulled away, met my eyes. “Don't go there,” he said, as though knowing what I was thinking. “Besides, the way you fight you might not make it to nineteen.”
Smartass cat.
Just what I needed.
“Maybe Grandmother is right then,” I said. “Maybe I should stay and forget going home. At least here I'm not the only one.”
“Syd—” Dad started.
I didn't let him finish. “Come on, Dad, think about it. I'm already in enough trouble with the coven and the Council for being part demon and all the other stuff I carry around with me. You know I make them nervous.” Mom did her best to hide it from me, but ever since I took the vampire essence inside me she looked at me a different way. I guess she had the right.
Then again... “Unless Mom knows already?”
Dad shook his head, all the answer I needed.
“Now that I know I'm immortal, do you think the coven will be okay with that? Or the other powers that be? Not likely.” I stroked Sassy's fur. “Staying on Demonicon makes the most sense.” I met my sister's sad eyes. “And for Meira, too.”
But as I sat there, surrounded by glum demons, I wondered to myself how I could go through with it. How could I just abandon my family without telling them what I was, giving them the chance to ask me to step aside?
And thoughts of the two guys in my life didn't make things any easier. Quaid at least was mostly out of the picture despite the fact I wished things were different. But now I knew I could never be with Liam. He wasn't immortal and the thought of falling in love with him then losing him was just too much for my heart.
So much for love, then. How much did my life suck?
***
Chapter Twenty Eight
I woke the next morning in a foul mood. As I stood in my closet, looking at the hideous clothing Pagomaris stocked for me, the full-length mirror throwing back the image of a very pissed off demon girl, I made a decision.
I dressed aggressively in spiked boots and a pair of skin-tight pants in some kind of black leather with studs all over them. The shirt was also tight, a heavy jacket with matching spikes and a few skulls with horns decorating the shoulders and cuffs finishing my attire while a collar jutted out an array of spines I had to be careful of so I didn't stab myself by accident.
My hair I bundled up in a mess of angry curls, tied off with a chain and several blades. When I checked out the mirror again, I smiled. Yeah, badass.
Time to take out the trash.
Meira's eyes went wide when she saw me before she grinned like the devil she was at heart and ran for her own wardrobe. By the time I'd finished breakfast, Sassafras glaring at me from his place on the table, thick silver tail thudding up and down as his ears sat flat, Meria emerged from her room dressed like me.
“They want a piece of the Hayle sisters?” She snapped her fingers, cocking one hip to the side, feet planted wide like some pint-sized action heroine. “Big mistake.”
I laughed. And agreed with her.
No more Miss Nice Syd.
I went hunting, my sister at my side, angry demon cat trailing us, hissing and spitting his upset. Not like I cared. That morning alone I started and finished a dozen fights, Meira cutting her own swath through the ruling elite of Demonicon's Seat until the lower status ran from us like rabbits.
Sassafras finally decided to help after he got over his snit, filling us in mentally on the different cousins we called out, letting us know their weaknesses and flaws. So we wouldn’t get ourselves killed, he said. But with each fight, despite his former concern, I sensed a growing, if grudging, admiration for us, and by the time he was fully behind our campaign of doom, there was real enthusiasm behind his notes.
She fights with her left side only, favors her right.
His shields are strong from the outside but he never reinforces the inside.
He favors bashing. Use finesse.
She can't get past her own cleverness. Just whack her.
After a nice lunch where Meira and I grinned at each other like loons, partly because we couldn’t believe we were actually still on a roll, we con
tinued our task, swelling with power and driving the cousins before us like cattle.
Couldn’t fight, huh?
By the time the main sun was setting, I felt able to take on Grandmother herself, demon power crackling inside me. It was getting harder and harder to find anyone to fight, so we'd descended into the city, searching for prey. I refused to fight anyone who wasn't family and Meira followed my lead. A few had fled into the lower planes and were easy enough to track down and defeat.
I found myself, at last, standing over one of my dear cousins, a girl with a scar on one cheek, her red skin white in a line down the side of her face. She'd been an easy defeat, almost crying when I cornered her and drove her to her knees, muffling her power with mine. She cowered there, begging me not to hurt her, offering up her magic as my demon hummed her satisfaction. It was odd at that moment, to notice Shaylee and my vampire were missing, the sense of disgust they'd left behind as they walled themselves off making me feel a little nauseated. Still, this was what I had to do if I was going to be a demon, live in their society.
I reached for the girl's power and felt it—the entirety of it. She was offering it all to me, not just the selection I’d grown accustomed to. The deliciousness of her fear and the surging magic she held out to me was so tempting, I reached for it.
Syd! Sassy's mind cut across mine like a whip. No!
I pulled back, feeling my demon grumble and retreat, now fully sick to my stomach. I waved the girl away, turned from her, finding myself in a back alley in some part of the city I didn’t even remember reaching, squat buildings crouched around me, streets empty and very quiet as though the local populace knew exactly what was going on and refused to bear witness. My target scrammed, but not before I caught the relief and gratitude in her eyes even as I sank back against the stone wall of one of the buildings and caught my breath.
“Syd.” Sassy came to me, Meira with him, paws on my leg. “You need to stop.”
I nodded, bending to pick him up, the anger gone, my demon rumbling her contentment even as Shaylee and my vampire emerged and settled into their places.