‘I’ve no idea. Heather just decided that she didn’t want to get married and that was it.’
‘Oh, come on! There has to be more to it than that. You don’t just cancel a wedding on a whim.’ Carol lowered her voice. ‘You can tell me, Gemma. I won’t repeat what you say to another soul.’
‘I know that, Carol, but I honestly don’t know any more than you do,’ Gemma repeated. ‘If something happened to make Heather change her mind, I haven’t a clue what it was.’
‘No wonder my ears were burning. I hope this isn’t going to be the main topic of conversation around here all day long.’
Ross’s voice broke into their conversation and they both guiltily swung round. Gemma felt her heart quicken at the sight of him, but that happened every day of the week so it wasn’t anything special for it to happen today, not a reason for her to get unduly worried. Maybe she had spent the weekend worrying about him but it hadn’t achieved anything, neither would it. All the worrying in the world wouldn’t give Ross the one thing he craved: Heather and their life together.
‘I’m really sorry about what happened, Ross,’ Carol said quickly. ‘It must have been a real shock for you.’
‘It was but, as Gemma explained, Heather just changed her mind. If anyone asks you what happened, I’d be grateful if you’d tell them that, too. It might help to dispel some of the more fanciful ideas that are probably circulating at the moment.’
He rolled his eyes and Carol laughed. Gemma turned away as pain speared through her heart. It was typical of Ross to want to make them feel better about being caught gossiping. Even though he must be hurting like mad, he still put other people’s feelings first.
She collected her morning list from the office and headed to the nurses’ room. Her first patient, a local businessman who needed a cholesterol test, had already arrived so she took the blood sample she needed and placed it in an insulated container for the courier to collect at noon. And if the pain in her heart felt a little more raw than it had before, she refused to acknowledge it. Ross was out of her league, unobtainable and definitely unavailable. There was no point wishing that she might be able to make him feel better.
By the time twelve o’clock arrived Ross was desperate to escape. The veiled looks, the sympathy, the cheer-up-you’ll-survive smiles were making his head hurt. The last straw was when his mother, Rachel, another of the GPs at the practice, stuck her head round the door and looked anxiously at him.
‘How are you bearing up, darling? If it’s too awful then take the rest of the day off. Matt and I have discussed it and we understand—really we do—if you can’t bear to be here right now.’
‘I’m fine.’ Ross picked up the notes he’d used and bundled them together with an elastic band ready for filing.
‘You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, darling,’ Rachel said gently, her pretty face filled with motherly concern.
‘I’m not.’ He sighed. ‘I’m just sick and tired of people tiptoeing around me. It was almost better to hear Gemma and Carol gossiping about me first thing this morning. At least they had the grace to admit they were curious about what had happened.’
‘Gemma wouldn’t have said anything bad, though,’ Rachel pointed out. ‘She’s as worried about you as we all are, Ross.’
‘Is she?’ The idea was intriguing enough to chase away his irritation. He rather liked the idea that Gemma was genuinely concerned about him, funnily enough.
‘Of course she is.’ Rachel came into the room and gave him a hug.
‘It’s been an awful experience for you, Ross, and no matter how brave you’re being, we all know how much it must have hurt you.’
Ross groaned inwardly when he heard the wobble in his mother’s voice. They’d always been close and he hated to think that he was responsible for upsetting her. He hugged her back.
‘I’ll survive, Mum, really I will. What I don’t want is you worrying about me because there’s no need. OK?’
‘If you say so, darling,’ she said, although he could tell that she didn’t believe him.
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then headed to the door. The best thing he could do at the moment was to try and behave as normally as possible and hope that it would convince her he wasn’t about to fall apart. ‘Right, I’ll take these to the office then go for lunch. See you later.’
Thankfully, Rachel didn’t try to detain him so a short time later he was heading for the café at the corner of the street. He had been intending to have a sandwich there, but changed his mind when everyone stopped talking as soon as he went in. He had never seen so many guilty faces in his life!
‘Ham and cheese on wholemeal bread and a cup of black coffee to go,’ he replied when the assistant asked him what he wanted. He paid for his meal then left as soon as he could, barely closing the door behind him before the chatter started up again. Obviously, his wedding, or lack of one, was proving a big hit with the local gossipmongers.
He made his way to the river, needing some time on his own while he regrouped. He hated feeling so out of sorts and a few minutes’ peace and quiet would be very therapeutic. At this time of the year, it was almost deserted down there, just one lone figure sitting on a bench close to the water. It was only after he’d sat down on a neighbouring bench that Ross realised with a sinking feeling in his stomach that it was Gemma. He’d had no idea she would be there, so what should he do? Get up and leave, or stay and behave as though all the recent upheaval hadn’t affected him?
He frowned because it wasn’t the cancellation of his wedding, per se, that was causing him so much angst, but his lack of an emotional reaction to it. He’d found himself questioning his motives and that had been extremely disquieting. There’d also been his very strange reaction to Gemma and he still hadn’t worked out what was going on there.
He took a deep breath, but there was no way that he could ignore one simple yet disturbing fact: he’d spent more time thinking about Gemma than he had about his runaway bride.
CHAPTER FIVE
GEMMA
glanced round to see which other hardy soul had decided to brave the weather and almost choked on her sandwich when she saw Ross sitting on a neighbouring bench. What on earth was he doing here? She had decided not to eat her lunch in the staffroom purely to avoid him. After all the recent turmoil, it had seemed wiser to keep out of his way. But now that he was here, she wasn’t sure what to do. Should she pretend she hadn’t seen him, or go over and speak to him? Before she could make up her mind, he stood up. Gemma bit her lip as she watched him walk towards her bench. He stopped in front of her, his brows rising as he nodded at the empty space beside her.
‘Mind if I share your bench?’
‘I…um…of course not.’ She scooted over to make sure he had enough room, feeling her heart race as she watched him place his sandwich and coffee-cup on the wooden slats. He glanced up and gave her a tiny smile and her racing heart whizzed into overdrive. Gemma knew that she had to say something and blurted out the first thing that came into her head. ‘About this morning, Ross, I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have been gossiping about you, but I never meant any harm.’
‘I know.’ Picking up his sandwich, he peeled back the wrapper. ‘My mother said that you were worried about me.’
‘Oh! Did she? Well, yes, I am. We all are,’ she added hastily in case he got the wrong idea or, rather, the right one. She hurried on, not wanting thoughts like that to intrude at the moment. ‘We all care about you and Heather. We just want you both to be happy.’
‘Who’s saying that Heather isn’t happy?’ he said quietly.
‘But she can’t be! No woman is going to be happy about cancelling her wedding. It stands to reason.’
‘So you think that Heather wishes she hadn’t done it?’
He took the lid off his coffee and lifted the cup to his mouth. Gemma looked away, not wanting to watch while he took a sip. There was something way too seductive about the idea of watching his lips pur
se as he drank from the cup. It would take very little to imagine that wonderfully mobile mouth drinking from her lips…
‘I don’t know,’ she said, blanking out the image. ‘I haven’t been able to get into contact with her at all so I have no idea how she’s feeling. I just know how I would feel and I’d be devastated.’
‘Only if the decision wasn’t one you wanted to make and I don’t think that applies in this case.’ He put the lid back on the cup and placed it on the bench.
Gemma stared at him in dismay. ‘You think that Heather changed her mind because she no longer loves you?’ she asked, scarcely able to believe what she was hearing.
‘Not enough to want to spend the rest of her life with me, no.’
He sounded so final that she winced. ‘I don’t believe that. You two are perfect for each other. Everyone says so.’
‘Perfection isn’t everything, as I’m discovering,’ he said flatly, staring across the grey expanse of the river.
Gemma had no idea what he meant. It seemed such a strange thing to say, especially for Ross. He strove for perfection in everything he did and achieved it too. Once again the thought of her own lack of perfection taunted her but she pushed it away. They weren’t discussing her but Ross and Heather, two people who were so obviously meant to be together that it was a crime to watch them ruin their lives like this.
The urge to make him understand that overcame any reticence she felt. She touched his hand, feeling the tremor that ran from her fingertips right up her arm as their skin made contact. Despite the chilly weather, Ross’s hand was warm and she shuddered as some of his heat seeped into her. It was an effort to peel her fingers away once she had his attention.
‘Maybe it isn’t everything, but you and Heather had something special, Ross. Surely you aren’t prepared to lose that?’
‘So what do you suggest I do? Go after Heather and try to change her mind?’
There was a smile on his mouth when he said that but there was no matching smile in his eyes. Gemma frowned when she saw how empty they looked. Ross must be so devastated by what had happened that he had emotionally shut down.
‘Yes, if that’s what it takes. Don’t let pride stand in your way, Ross. If I know Heather, she’s probably hoping that you will call so you can sort this out.’
‘You need to take off those rose-tinted spectacles and see the situation for what it is.’ His tone was brisk all of a sudden. ‘Heather didn’t want to marry me on Saturday and she doesn’t want to marry me today or any other day. She made that abundantly clear in her letter.’
‘But that’s crazy! You two are just so—’
‘Perfect together,’ he finished for her then laughed harshly. ‘I used to think that, too. The fact that we had so much in common was proof that we were an ideal match. Heather ticked so many boxes that I was sure I’d found the perfect wife and future mother of my children.’
‘Boxes? What boxes?’ she asked, wondering if she’d overstepped the mark by asking him that. Their conversations were normally confined to pleasantries outside the surgery. They’d never had an in-depth discussion of a personal nature and maybe she’d gone too far. However, Ross didn’t appear reluctant to answer.
‘I made a list of points I needed to cover when I decided to get married. Things like intelligence, the ability to interact with a wide range of people in a variety of situations, physical attractiveness, etcetera.’
He said it as though everyone compiled such a list and Gemma gaped at him. ‘You’re joking! Nobody chooses a partner according to some sort of…scoring system.’
‘I did. It seemed the logical solution at the time.’ He gathered up his uneaten sandwich and coffee-cup, and stood up. ‘No wonder Heather decided she didn’t want to be my wife.’
He walked away before Gemma could reply, not that she could think of much to say when her head was reeling. She couldn’t believe that he’d been telling her the truth, yet he’d sounded completely serious. Ross had asked Heather to be his wife because she’d fitted certain criteria and not because he had fallen head over heels in love with her?
She got up because it was time she went back to work, too. However, as she made her way up the path her head was still buzzing with what she had learned. Up till now she’d imagined Ross trying to come to terms with what had happened while he dealt with a broken heart, but that might not be the case. His heart wouldn’t have been broken if he hadn’t been madly in love with Heather. Once he got over the shock, he would find someone else, a woman he could love this time.
Just for a moment her heart soared at the thought she might be that woman before she realised how unlikely it was. If and when Ross found someone else, he would still want somebody who was perfect in every way.
Ross went straight to his room when he got back. Sitting down at his desk, he checked the schedule lying next to the computer. The second Monday in the month was the day for the weight-loss clinic. All the doctors in the practice took it in turn to supervise the sessions and it was his turn that day. He sighed. He’d never felt less like holding a clinic in his life.
He dug the list of patients who were due to attend out of his tray. Some had been coming for a while, a couple were fairly new and one was a first-timer. The usual procedure was a talk followed by a discussion. They concluded with individual check-ups when everyone was weighed. The session normally lasted just over an hour and in no way could it be considered arduous, but could he handle it? Or should he accept his mother’s offer and cry off?
He stood up abruptly. Quite apart from the fact that his mother’s workload was heavy enough without him adding to it, he had never backed away from anything in his life and he wasn’t about to start now. Maybe he had said too much to Gemma, told her things normally he wouldn’t have shared with anyone else, but so what? He was allowed the odd lapse when he’d been cast in the role of the abandoned bridegroom through no fault of his own.
His conscience twinged because if he was honest with himself he had to accept at least half of the blame for their abandoned wedding. However, he was in no mood to, metaphorically, don a hair shirt, thank you very much. He gathered up his notes and headed to the meeting room. There were a number of people already there and he nodded to them, determined to stave off any more well-meaning offers of sympathy. He’d been dumped at the altar, not been diagnosed with some kind of life-threatening disease!
He glanced round when the door opened and felt his heart lurch when he saw Gemma come in. One of the practice nurses sat in on the clinics to answer any questions the patients felt shy about asking the doctor, and it was Gemma’s turn that day. Although he appreciated her help normally, he was too conscious of what had just happened to feel comfortable about her being there. Leaving his notes on the table, he went over to her.
‘If you’ve something else to do, I can manage in here.’
‘Thanks, but there’s nothing pressing that needs to be done,’ she said quietly, lifting a chair off the stack piled against the wall. Its back legs caught on the one beneath, causing the whole stack to wobble dangerously, and Ross hurriedly leant forward and steadied them. This close to her he could smell the scent of the shampoo she’d used that morning to wash her hair, something delicately floral and feminine that made his nostrils tingle. He could also smell the fresh air on her skin, left over from her visit to the river, and that scent was equally stimulating. The combination was having a powerful effect on him.
Ross swallowed when he felt his body quicken with desire. That it should happen here and now stunned him. He was in the surgery, with patients waiting, yet all he could think about was Gemma and how much he wanted to reach out and touch her. What the hell was going on? Was he having some sort of breakdown? Or was this just the normal reaction of a normal man to an attractive woman? Was he, for once, allowing his needs and his emotions to overrule his head?
Gemma placed the chair at the end of the nearest row and sat down. Ross seemed transfixed by his thoughts and she could only imagin
e how unhappy they must be. It was clear how much he was suffering and it made her see how foolish she’d been to imagine that his heart wasn’t broken. Pain washed through her but she refused to let him see how upset she felt. Turning to the woman seated on her left, she smiled brightly.
‘I’m glad you came along today, Sarah. I’m sure you’ll benefit from these classes.’
‘I hope so.’ Sarah Roberts sighed as she looked around the room. An attractive brunette in her early thirties, she had a history of yo-yo dieting and was desperate to break the cycle. ‘I’ve tried everything—weight-loss groups, counselling, even hypnotherapy, but nothing’s worked. I’m fine for a couple of weeks then something happens and I end up binge eating again.’
‘You aren’t the only one,’ Gemma assured her. ‘Several of the people here today have been down the same route as you and they’re making excellent progress.’
‘If I could just get my eating under control, I’d be happy. So would Martin,’ Sarah added wistfully. ‘He’s sick and tired of me banging on about my weight all the time.’
Gemma didn’t say anything. She’d met Sarah’s husband when Sarah had signed up for the classes and thought him rather insensitive to his wife’s problems. As far as Martin Roberts was concerned, Sarah simply lacked willpower and that was why she was struggling to maintain a healthy weight. Although willpower was a very important part of the process, Gemma knew it would take more than that to solve Sarah’s eating problems. She suspected that low self-esteem was behind Sarah’s ongoing battle with food.
They went through the usual procedure which involved a talk about different types of diet and the value of certain foods. Everyone present had been given an individually tailored diet sheet and there was an open discussion about the difficulties of sticking to it. By the end of the session even Sarah was joining in and sounding a lot more positive.
The GP’s Meant-To-Be Bride Page 5