‘I think the best plan is to do some tests.’ He cleared his throat, wishing he could do the same to his mind. He didn’t need ideas like that popping into his head all the time. ‘They should point us in the right direction.’
‘If you think I’m going for another one of them there treadmill tests, you can think again!’ Jim glared at him. ‘Waste of time, it was. I walk up and down these hills, day in and day out, and nothing ever happens. Those machines are for city folk, them whose idea of exercise is an hour spent at an expensive gym. I spend every day of my life exercising!’
‘I’m not proposing you should have another stress test at the moment.’ Ross popped Jim’s notes into his case. ‘Although I’m not ruling it out either.’ He held up his hand when Jim went to interrupt. ‘Hear me out first. I want to take some bloods for testing—check to see if you’re anaemic or have a problem with your thyroid. I can’t do it today because the sample will need to be sent to the lab and there’s no collection service at the weekend.’
‘I can’t come into the surgery,’ Jim said smartly when Ross drew breath. ‘The weather’s on the turn and I need to get my ewes down off the hills before the snow comes. I don’t want them dropping their lambs out in the open.’
‘I understand that.’ Ross turned to Gemma, relieved that his reaction to her didn’t appear to be anything unusual now. It had been another blip, he told himself firmly, a minor glitch that wouldn’t happen again. ‘Could you do the honours, Gemma? I know the district nurses’ team should do it, but they’re really struggling now that two of their team have gone on maternity leave. It will be easier if we handle this ourselves.’
‘Of course I don’t mind.’ Gemma smiled at Jim. ‘The courier comes at lunchtime so I’ll call in here first thing Monday morning. Around seven all right?’
‘Aye, I suppose so, although if you’re later than that, I can’t promise to be here.’
‘He’ll be here, love,’ Edith put in. ‘I’ll tie him to that chair if need be, stubborn old goat. He’s not got the sense he was born with, if you ask my opinion.’
‘Nobody’s asking your opinion, are they?’ Jim retorted.
Ross shook his head as he stood up. ‘We’ll leave you to your discussion, then. Thanks for the tea, Edith.’
‘Thank you for coming, Dr Mackenzie,’ she replied. ‘I appreciate your visit even if someone else doesn’t.’
Ross sighed as they left the couple bickering and headed out to the car. ‘They’re real characters, aren’t they?’
‘They are indeed.’ Gemma grinned as she slid into the passenger seat. ‘They think the world of one another, though, despite all their squabbling.’
‘You really think so?’ he said in surprise, and she laughed.
‘Of course they do!’
‘I’ll take your word for it.’ He drove out of the farmyard, taking his time as he negotiated the ruts in the track. ‘A couple of times I found myself wondering how they’d stayed married for so long if they’ve spent all their time arguing.’
‘It’s a sort of shorthand for their real feelings,’ she assured him.
‘Is it?’ He frowned. ‘It’s odd that you think that when you were so critical of Sarah Roberts’s husband who does virtually the same thing.’
‘Ah, but that’s different. Sarah’s husband undermines her confidence. By constantly showing her that he finds her unattractive, he’s hurting her.’ She smiled at him. ‘Jim and Edith would never deliberately hurt one another.’
‘You’re wasting your talents by working at the surgery.’ Ross grinned at her, basking in the warmth she exuded. There was something about Gemma that made him feel very relaxed and at peace with the world. ‘You should be an agony aunt. You could earn a fortune writing a column for one of those glossy women’s magazines.’
‘Ask Aunt Gemma,’ she suggested, chuckling, and he laughed.
‘Yep. Spot on.’
Ross allowed himself another quick bask in her warmth then returned his attention to finding them somewhere to eat. It was too soon to start thinking that he and Gemma might become more than friends—far too soon. He had just been through a very unsettling period in his life and he couldn’t afford to let his emotions run away with him. He’d been so sure that he and Heather had been suited, but he’d been wrong. If he needed proof of how shaky his judgement was, he only needed to remember that.
It was deflating to face such facts but Ross knew it was essential that he did so. He found a pub a few miles further up the road that served lunch and parked the car. It wasn’t very busy and they had their choice of tables. They opted to sit in the snug, choosing a table near the fire. Gemma sighed as she stretched out her hands to the blaze.
‘Mmm, that’s lovely. It’s so cold today. I wonder if Jim was right about it snowing?’
‘There was nothing on the weather forecast,’ Ross said, lifting a couple of menus off the end of the bar. He handed her one then stretched his feet towards the blaze. ‘Tell me if you can smell burning shoe leather, will you?’
‘I shall,’ she promised, laughing.
She opened her menu, but it was several seconds before Ross followed suit. He was too entranced by the way the firelight flickered on her hair to think about something as mundane as food. She’d told him that she didn’t have a boyfriend, yet he found it hard to believe that she was single. Although now that he thought about it, he had never heard any mention of her going out with anyone during the whole time she’d worked at the surgery. How odd. To his mind, men should have been queuing up to take her out so he could only assume that it had been Gemma’s decision not to date and he couldn’t help wondering why. Had something happened in the past that had made Gemma wary of getting involved?
All of a sudden, Ross knew that he needed to find out what had gone on, and that he needed to do so for all sorts of reasons he had no intention of exploring. It would be simpler and less stressful to accept that Gemma interested him and leave it at that.
It was hard to decide what she fancied eating when everything on the menu looked so delicious. Gemma glanced up, wanting to know what Ross was having, and felt her heart lurch when she found him staring at her with the strangest expression on his face.
‘I’ll have the lamb shank in red wine gravy.’ He closed his menu and smiled at her, and she blinked. Had she imagined that expression on his face, or had Ross really been looking at her as though she was the most fascinating person he had ever seen?
‘I…um…That sounds good to me. Let’s make it two, shall we?’
She hurriedly pulled herself together as he got up to order their food. She had to stop all this nonsense before it got completely out of hand. Of course Ross didn’t find her fascinating! Why should he? He’d seen her almost every day for the past three years and he must know her, inside out.
Gemma felt a little calmer by the time he came back with two glasses of orange juice. He placed them on the table, grimacing when it tipped to one side, spilling a dollop of the juice into her lap. ‘Sorry! I didn’t realise the table had a wonky leg. Here, mop yourself up while I sort it out.’
He handed her a paper napkin then crouched down and wedged a folded beer mat under the table leg. Gemma obediently mopped at the stain on her skirt, although her heart really wasn’t in it. Ross was kneeling in front of her, his head bent as he wedged the coaster under the table leg. He was so close now that she could reach out and touch him, run her fingers through that crisp black hair…
A tiny murmur escaped her and he looked up, his blue eyes sharpening as they landed on her face. Gemma wasn’t sure what he saw there, but she watched a rim of colour edge his cheekbones as he swiftly rose to his feet. He resumed his seat, taking a long swallow of his drink before he spoke, but even then his voice sounded unnaturally husky.
‘That should do the trick. The table shouldn’t wobble now with a bit of luck.’
‘Good. I’d hate to add gravy to this mess,’ Gemma said lightly.
Picking up her glass
, she let a little of the cool liquid trickle down her throat. Ross was staring into the fire now as though entranced by the sight, although there was something a little too studied about his absorption. He glanced round then quickly looked away again when he caught her eye, and Gemma’s heart began to race. Was Ross trying to disguise the fact that he was attracted to her?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ROSS
could feel his stomach churning. He knew he’d given himself away and he had no idea what to do. Gemma had given him no reason to think that she was attracted to him…apart from the way she smiled at him with such warmth, and the way she listened so intently to his every word. He stamped down on the reasons that were suddenly lining up inside his head. He was trying to justify his behaviour by claiming that Gemma reciprocated his interest and it wasn’t fair. As far as she was concerned, he was a friend and a colleague, and most definitely not a potential lover! He took another gulp of his drink as heat surged through him. He could feel his skin burning and prayed that his heightened colour would be attributed to their proximity to the fire, but just to make sure, he scooted his chair back a couple of inches.
‘It’s getting warm in here,’ he said, relieved to hear that he sounded almost normal.
‘It is.’
Gemma moved her chair further away from the blaze, although he had a feeling that she was merely humouring him. Had she realised what was going on, worked out that he was attracted to her? he wondered. The thought sent his mind into a spin so it was a relief when the waitress arrived at that moment with their lunch because it provided a welcome distraction.
‘Hmm, this is delicious. The gravy is gorgeous.’ Gemma popped a morsel of lamb into her mouth while Ross tried to get a grip. No way was he going to disgrace himself by panicking.
‘It is good,’ he agreed, doing his best to behave as though nothing had happened. He popped a chunk of lamb into his mouth, but he was overwhelmingly conscious of the tension in the air and knew that he had to put a stop to it before it was too late.
Too late for what? a small voice whispered in his inner ear. Too late to pretend that he didn’t want Gemma? Too late to stop this attraction developing any further? Too late to stop himself wishing that he and Gemma might have a future together?
Ross’s heart sank because it was already too late for any of those things. He did want Gemma; he was attracted to her; he longed for them to be together. He could pretend all he liked, but it wouldn’t make a scrap of difference. He was falling head over heels in love with her and there was nothing he could do about it, too.
Gemma popped another piece of meat into her mouth. Quite frankly, it could have been a lump of lead for all she cared. The tension in the air was almost tangible; she had the craziest feeling that if she lifted her hand, she would see it slicing through all the emotions that were whirling around. Were they all Ross’s doing, or hers? Or were they both to blame? Was Ross feeling the same as she was, keyed up and on edge, as though she was on the verge of something momentous happening?
The piece of meat suddenly caught in her throat and she coughed as she tried to dislodge it, then coughed again when it didn’t shift. She was aware of Ross leaping to his feet, but she couldn’t speak. Just getting sufficient air into her lungs was difficult enough.
‘Sit up straight.’
He sat her bolt upright then thumped her between the shoulder blades with the heel of his hand, and the piece of meat shot out of her gullet. Fortunately, Gemma had a napkin over her mouth and was spared the embarrassment of having it land on the table, but she would have felt better if the incident hadn’t happened. She dredged up a smile so that he wouldn’t feel he had to continue ministering to her.
‘That did the trick. I’m sorry about interrupting your lunch.’
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’
He ignored her attempts to dismiss him as he crouched beside her chair. His blue eyes were filled with concern as he searched her face and Gemma felt a little ripple run along her veins, the first stirrings of a passion she had never wanted to experience again. Tears sprang to her eyes because it was so unfair that she could never allow herself to feel like a real woman, could never want a man or allow herself to be wanted by him; could never watch the love in his eyes turn to desire as he looked at her in the seconds before they made love…
‘Hey, it’s all right. There’s nothing to get upset about. I know it must have given you a fright, but you’re fine now.’
Ross’s voice was so tender, so gentle, that more tears gathered and slid down her cheeks. He had no idea why she was crying and she couldn’t tell him—that was the worst thing. He gave a soft groan as he gathered her into his arms, rocking her as though she was a child in need of comfort, and the odd thing was, that was how she felt. She needed to be held and told that everything would be fine even if it never could be. For a few precious minutes she wanted to pretend that she was normal, perfect, capable of being desired.
Gemma wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him as the pain of the past seven years suddenly overwhelmed her. She cried for everything she’d lost as well as everything she could never have—a husband to love her, children they would both love together. And all the time Ross held her, held her to his heart, and made her feel as though it was the only place he wanted her to be.
When he bent and kissed her on the mouth, softly and with great tenderness, she didn’t protest. She was past the point of being sensible, didn’t care that the kiss could never lead anywhere. She simply kissed him back and revelled in the warmth of his mouth, the feel of his strong body, the sense of security he had wrapped around her like a blanket. For a few precious moments, she had everything she had ever wanted—she felt loved.
Ross could feel his heart drumming. Thump, thump, thump, like a big bass drum. Its beat shook him, made him tremble, and he didn’t give a damn. So what if Gemma could feel what this kiss was doing to him? The world wouldn’t stop, the ground wouldn’t open beneath him, and he wouldn’t drop down dead. Ever since he’d been a child, he’d held back, given bits of himself, never too much, but not any more. Definitely not now!
He pulled her closer and groaned when he felt her breasts pushing against his chest. Gemma was all woman, her body softly rounded, deliciously shaped as he cradled her against him. Their bodies seemed to be made for each other, fitting together so perfectly, and this was only for starters. How much better would they fit when he took her to his bed and made love to her?
Heat invaded every cell in his body. He had to draw back so he could suck in enough air to keep his lungs functioning and suddenly he had a perfect view of Gemma’s face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth swollen and red from passion as well as his kisses. Gemma looked exactly like a woman should look when she was being made love to and the thought made him want to punch the air for joy. He might not have planned that this would happen, but he didn’t regret it. It wasn’t a mistake!
‘Oops, sorry. I’ll come back later.’
The waitress’s hasty apology brought Ross back to earth with a thump. He let Gemma go and shot to his feet, realising all of a sudden that the snug of the local pub wasn’t the best place for what had been happening. Gemma ran a trembling hand over her hair, her cheeks ablaze with colour at the thought of them being caught if not quite in flagrante delicto then at least on the verge of it, and Ross grimaced.
‘A timely intervention, wouldn’t you say?’
‘Y-es.’
She quickly averted her eyes and he realised that he couldn’t live with himself if she was embarrassed by what had happened. Sitting down at the table, he reached for her hand.
‘I’m not going to apologise, Gemma. I wanted to kiss you and I have no intention of pretending it was some sort of accident. OK?’
‘Yes.’
She gave him a quick smile then applied herself to her lunch, leaving him feeling as though he was floundering in quicksand. He’d just admitted that he’d wanted to kiss her, but she hadn’t reciprocated,
so what did it mean? That she was indifferent to what had happened?
Ross found that very difficult to believe bearing in mind the way she had kissed him back. Apparently, she was reluctant to say too much about her feelings and he had no idea why. Gemma was always so open and candid that her sudden restraint puzzled him. Why was she holding back?
He was no closer to solving the problem by the time they finished their lunch. Gemma thanked him politely and got into the car, leaving him feeling more perplexed than ever as he climbed in beside her. He sighed softly. Although he didn’t regret kissing her, he would regret it if he had damaged their precious friendship.
By the time they arrived back at the surgery, Gemma had managed to pull herself together. Maybe it had been a shock when Ross had kissed her, but surely it had been just the natural progression carrying on from what had just happened. She’d choked on that piece of meat, Ross had rushed to her aid, and one thing had led to another. The best thing she could do now was to put it out of her mind.
‘I’ve made a list of all the files we need to check,’ she told him as they went into the office. He whistled as she handed him the list.
‘It’s even longer than I thought it would be. I doubt we’ll be able to get through all these files today.’
‘We’ll have to carry on tomorrow,’ Gemma said, trying to stifle her qualms at the thought of spending the entire weekend with him after what had happened. This was work related, and that made a world of difference.
‘I can’t expect you to give up your weekend to sort out this mess. It isn’t fair, Gemma. There must be loads of things you’d rather be doing.’
The GP’s Meant-To-Be Bride Page 10