“They haven’t picked up on my location?” Pandora asked, surprised. She’d fallen out of the shadows at least five minutes ago, completely exposed.
But Jax just grinned. The arrogance flashing in his eyes gave her pause, comforted her in a strange way. Because she’d seen that overconfidence before, that little roguish spark, and it felt normal. On a day where her world had flipped upside down yet again, when everything between them was odd and uncomfortable and uncharted, that single moment felt normal. And she cherished the ease of it.
“I learned a few things since you left all those years ago,” he said as he leapt over a fallen tree and continued to swerve through the maze of the woods. “One of them being a handy little trick only initiated trackers know. How to shield myself and how to shield the space around me. The titans have no idea where you are, because the second you dropped into my pity party unannounced, I hid you from them.”
She beamed. “Jackson Rodriguez, I could kiss you. If I wasn’t still furious with you, of course.”
He lifted a single brow. “We both know that’s never stopped you before.”
But his teasing didn’t comfort her, didn’t amuse her. It sobered her. Her gaze fell away from his face to stare ahead at the house becoming more distinct through the trees.
They couldn’t pretend as if nothing had happened.
They couldn’t sink back into their banter, into their relationship.
Jax had betrayed her.
He’d cut her to the core.
And she’d meant what she said—she didn’t forgive him. Not this fast. Not this easily. He had a long way to go to prove himself. And to be honest, she wasn’t sure he ever would.
The mood shifted.
Jax could read her, just like always. So he closed the distance in silence, only putting her down once they’d snuck inside his home. She collapsed on the kitchen island, dizzy and drained. Jax came running back in with a fistful of rags, a bottle of vodka, and duct tape.
“Oh, dear god,” Pandora mumbled.
Jax glared at her. “Normally, we heal a lot faster than this. I don’t know what’s going on with you, and I don’t have any experience with first aid. So, movie knowledge is all I’m working with. Deal with it.”
Before Pandora could mutter another word, Jax pulled a pair of scissors from a drawer and cut down the middle of her shirt. Sure, it wasn’t anything he’d never seen before, and she was covered in a mass of sticky blood, but nerves still raced through her as he peeled the shirt from her skin, baring her chest. Their eyes met in a brief, sizzling exchange. He swallowed, tearing his attention away as the air grew warm. There was no time. But he still paused, hands trembling an inch above her skin. Then he pressed his fingers to the wound.
Pandora hissed with the pain.
He yanked his hand back, unsure.
“Just do it,” she grunted, forcing the words through gritted teeth.
Jax nodded. He spun on his heels, soaked a rag with water, and washed the area around the cut as well as he could. Then he lifted the handle of vodka and unscrewed the top before taking a long chug. With her free hand, Pandora grabbed the bottle and followed suit, choking as the acid slid down her throat. Without warning, he tipped the bottle.
She screamed as the alcohol burned.
Jax held her down, pressing his entire body against her shoulders as she bucked. He didn’t relent. He wiped the wound clean with another wet rag and repeated the process two more times, ignoring as she punched and kicked and did everything she could think of to get away.
Oh, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
Pandora beat her feet and her fists against the stone countertop beneath her, whimpering as the agony coursed through her.
“We’re almost done,” Jax mumbled, gaze completely focused.
He bundled a clean rag into a ball and pressed it against her chest. After adding one more, he snatched the duct tape, then secured the towels to her chest with one piece after another, wrapping the silvery bands all the way around her back to make sure the makeshift bandage wouldn’t fall off, to make sure it was secure.
Pandora couldn’t move.
To be honest, she could hardly feel the pain anymore.
She was somewhere beyond, hovering between consciousness and oblivion.
Jax lifted her from the table gently, kissing her brow softly before pulling away, gaze pained. She didn’t have the energy to snap at him, but she didn’t need to. He realized the moment his lips pressed against her forehead that he’d lost that privilege a long time ago, lost the right to touch her so freely. The apology was written across his face, deeper than words could say. So he didn’t say anything. He carried her through his house and into the garage, where he pulled the cover from his motorcycle.
She should have known, should have guessed.
There was no road in and out of the enclave. Supplies arrived by helicopter, brought in by government officials—the only ones aware of the top-secret location. But motorcycles, dirt bikes, they were nimble enough to carve a route through the forest, out of the valley, and into the mountains beyond.
“I’ll get us out, I promise,” Jax whispered, tone intense as he gripped her tight, holding her securely. “Just tell me where to go.”
Pandora passed out before she got the chance to answer.
Chapter Twenty
Jax held true to his word.
She still wasn’t exactly sure how he’d gotten them both out of the enclave, but she woke up hours later, safe and unharmed—physically at least. Mentally? Not so much. Pandora didn’t try to touch the shadows. For the first time in her life, she was too afraid to call upon her power, too afraid of what other memories the darkness might hold, too afraid of who she might find in the mist, too afraid of how invincible the shadows made her feel. So instead, in her utter exhaustion, she held on to Jax, held on to something solid and complicated, but real and warm.
When the motorcycle ran out of gas, they transferred to moving on foot. By then, the wound in her shoulder had healed enough to no longer be a hindrance. But it was still a relief when they eventually found a road. Jax didn’t even bat an eye when Pandora slipped back into old habits and hot-wired a car. In fact, he offered to drive so she could pass out in the back seat. It didn’t last very long. The second her eyes slid closed, the nightmares came, clearer than ever before. She woke screaming and thrashing while he tried his best to soothe her. They drove in silence for a while after that, mumbling small talk and edging around anything too serious.
While Jax was sleeping, Pandora slipped his phone out of his pocket so she could Google search the name Samael, so foreign as it rolled through her thoughts like a tidal wave, destroying everything in its wake.
The blind god.
The angel of death.
The seducer. The destroyer.
The devil himself.
Sam hadn’t been lying when he’d said he had a lot of names. None of them good. And each Web page just brought stories that were more and more terrifying.
When Jax woke to find that she’d pulled over on the side of the road, shivering and shaking, unable to stop reading, he grabbed the phone out of her hands, jumped from the car, and threw it as far into the distance as possible. A temporary fix. When he got back in, he asked her what she’d seen that day at the enclave, what her memories had shown her. But she couldn’t answer. A sob pushed its way up her throat instead.
They reverted back to silence after that.
A thick, heavy sort of silence. Not the kind they were used to. Not the kind that was light and warm and as comfortable as her favorite pair of worn pajamas. But something new. Something stilted. Something that made her heart beat uncontrollably fast. Made her fingers flex and stretch from the stressed ball they constantly clenched into. Made her chest ache until her throat was actually sore from holding back all the things she wanted to say.
Yet every time she opened her mouth to speak, there was nothing. Because she didn’t even know where to be
gin. And whenever she thought of how the conversation would go, it all just felt so exhausting. Pandora would yell. Jax would apologize. Pandora would cry. Jax would try to comfort her. Pandora would try to explain Sam. Jax wouldn’t understand. She’d question him. He’d question her. The entire experience would move in waves, in circles. But her body and mind were drained. So she chose silence instead. It was easier, for now.
“We’re almost there,” Jax mumbled as he drove. The first words he’d said in hours, maybe days. Pandora wasn’t sure how long they’d been traveling. She was too distracted by everything else to pay attention to such a normal thing like time.
But hearing his voice jolted her from her reverie. She rolled over from where she’d been lying with her face turned toward the window, hardly blinking as she took in the trees passing quickly by. “Okay.”
Jax tightened his hands on the wheel, uncomfortable, squeezing the leather. “Should we—”
“No,” Pandora interrupted softly, because she knew exactly what he was going to say. Being betrayed by him hadn’t magically removed the ability to finish his sentences. And the answer was no—they shouldn’t talk before they arrived. They shouldn’t have the conversation they’d been putting off for days. They shouldn’t work anything out. Because it would take a lot more than a hasty twenty minutes on the side of the road to fix them. So why bother?
“Are you sure she’ll be there?” he asked, changing the topic.
Pandora shrugged and sighed, dropping her fingers to the edge of the seat and feeling for a button in the leather. She found it, pressing slightly, listening to the buzz as her seat back lifted to normal height. She stared out over the dashboard, following the long empty road, searching the horizon. “If she’s not there yet, she’ll be there soon. I’m sure of it.”
“And she’ll help?”
Pandora nodded, completely certain of at least one small fact. “She’ll do whatever she can.”
They both stopped speaking when a gate slipped into view at the very edge of sight, growing larger and more looming by the second.
At least it won’t kill me this time, Pandora mused, nerves fluttering to life in the pit of her stomach the closer they got, brand on the back of her neck burning. Because what if Naya wasn’t there? What if she wouldn’t help? And what if everything that happened in the mountains was before? What if the brand on the back of her neck changed everything?
What if?
What if?
What if!
Pandora sighed, frustrated with the thoughts that had been constantly churning in the back of her mind for days, the endless doubts, haunting her. Because she hadn’t been lying when she’d told Jax she needed help. Doing things on her own obviously wasn’t working out too well, what with the being locked in jail, stabbed by her father, and nearly wooed by the devil himself. She needed allies, needed friends, needed help if she was going to discover a way out of this mess. And Naya was the only place she could think to start.
Jax pulled to a stop ten feet from the gate. Pandora slipped out of the car, then closed the distance as Jax followed her. Before she got close enough to touch the twisted iron, the door swung open, welcoming her inside.
“I’ve got to say, I didn’t see this coming,” a perky voice called from the other side.
Pandora turned toward the sound, edges of her lips pulling into a smile at the silent invitation in that tone. “My being alive? Or my being at your front door?”
Kira laughed, blonde hair blowing in the breeze as she stepped out from behind the stone wall, revealing herself. “Both.”
“Well…” Pandora shrugged, grinning. “I do pride myself on unpredictability.”
“And you—”
“You’re back!” another voice interrupted. Two seconds later, Luke emerged from hiding. He sidled up next to Kira and wrapped a hand around her shoulders, smiling from ear to ear in that constantly jovial way Pandora remembered. And then he scrunched his brows, gaze slipping over her shoulder to the boy who must have just emerged from the car. Luke grabbed his chin while he processed the sight, shock passing over his face with near-comical exaggeration. “You, and you? But, well, not to point out the obvious or anything, doesn’t he want to kill you?”
Kira elbowed him in the ribs, rolling her eyes and tossing him a pointed look. “What my not-so-subtle other half meant to say is, well, didn’t he? Didn’t you?” Luke stared down at her, raising his brows in challenge. She wrinkled her nose. “Okay, there’s no delicate way to put this, and I’m not known for my subtlety, so correct me if I’m wrong. But last time we saw you, he had totally betrayed you to the titans, you were running away in fear for your life, and some bolters knocked you out with lightning. We managed to wrangle a visiting government official into telling us what happened, and he said that you were locked up in jail. Pavia said they were going to kill you. We actually spent all day yesterday trying to plan a daring rescue. So…what happened here?”
Pandora lifted a hand to her chest. “I’m touched.”
Kira lifted her brows, silently demanding more information.
Pandora sighed. “It’s a long story.”
Luke grinned. “Excellent. That’s the best kind.”
“No,” Pandora responded, voice hollow. “It’s not.”
He had the decency to look chagrined.
In the middle of all the conversation, Jax silently stepped up next to Pandora. He stopped close but not too close, very aware of the space between them. Everyone turned to look at him as he stilled, sinking his hands into his pockets.
“I made a mistake,” Jax said into the quiet. “A horrible, unforgivable mistake. And I’m trying my best to correct it.”
“I’ve got you, man,” Luke murmured, nodding as though they’d just entered into a secret pact of brotherhood.
Pandora glared.
Kira tugged on his shirt, widening her eyes in a silent plea before turning back to Pandora. “So why are you here? Really? Not that I don’t trust you, but we need to know what we’re getting ourselves into, especially if it’s a face-off with the titans.”
“It won’t come to that,” Jax assured. “They don’t know we’re here, and they won’t.”
“I’m just trying to find someone,” Pandora stepped in, taking over. “A friend of mine, a girl who helped me get the answers I needed. Her brother is a vampire, and I told her to come here, that you’d be able to help. I was supposed to bring her, but we got separated, and I was hoping she made it before me.”
Kira pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly. “She’s not here. At least, not yet.”
Pandora’s shoulders dropped, heavy. Where are you?
She needed Naya. Needed her help in unlocking whatever mysteries were still trapped deep inside her soul. Something about having the medium close by had helped her remember the nightmares, had helped them stick in her mind, had brought her memories closer to the surface. And in the past few days without her, Pandora had fallen back to the way things were before—waking up screaming, unable to remember why or when or how. And she needed that information. She had eleven months to figure out how to kill a man who couldn’t be killed and end a cycle her soul had chosen to spin in for all eternity—she needed whatever information she could get.
“You’re more than welcome to come inside and wait,” Kira offered, seeing the bleakness wash over Pandora. “We’ve got food. Beds. Booze, if you need a little something to take the edge off. No judgment here. I’ve been there before.”
Pandora snorted, shaking her head. Though on second thought, a little shot of something couldn’t hurt. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“No,” Kira said, motioning Pandora to step forward, to step inside. “And if you do want to fill us in on what happened, we might be able to help.”
“She’s pretty crafty, you know,” Luke chimed in.
Kira smiled despite her best efforts. “He’s right. I do have a little bit of experience with life-or-death situations.”
“And I w
ould be eternally grateful,” Luke cut in. “She needs a distraction from wedding planning.”
“What?” Kira barked.
Luke started backing away with his hands up. “You said it yourself! Emma is driving you insane. And so is my sister. And my mother. And Pavia. And—”
“I’m allowed to say it,” Kira snapped. “But you’re not allowed to agree!”
Luke’s brows came together, and his expression turned very serious. “Okay, well, I didn’t know that. So…”
And then he turned and ran.
“I know where you live!” Kira shouted after him, then snarled a little under her breath. She turned back to Pandora. “He lives with me. And he’s getting an earful tonight.”
“Congratulations on getting engaged…?” Pandora said hesitantly.
But as soon as the words were out, Kira’s entire demeanor changed. Her smile widened, and her face lit up, joy almost overwhelming, brighter than any conduit fire. “Thanks. It just happened a few weeks ago, back in New York actually. We’d been dating for years, and I love him so much, but I was still surprised, and it was at the top of the Empire State Building while our whole family was there, and…” She paused, remembering that Pandora was in a dire, world-ending, life-or-death situation and probably didn’t really want to hear about her near-sickening happiness. “Um, sorry. My bad. Bridal brain fart.”
“It’s okay,” Pandora said.
An awkward moment hung between them.
Kira blinked a few times and then jumped into action. “Anyway, why don’t you guys follow me back inside? My car is right over there, so I’ll hop in, you drive behind, and I’ll get you settled while we wait for your friend. Sound good? And if either of you want to fill us in on what’s going on, we’d be happy to help. And if not? Well, we’ll probably be really nosy and pressure you into confiding in us anyway. So, you know, be prepared.”
She shrugged and then turned around, walking to her car, not giving either of them a chance to respond. Jax and Pandora watched her go, not moving until they heard her car rev to life.
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