“It looks like it’s going to be amazing already,” I say. “I’m sure the king will be proud.”
His smile drops. Damn. I’ve said the wrong thing. I have to tread lightly around this subject. After what he revealed to me at the meadow, I know it’s a sensitive one. I clear my throat. “You’re going to be very busy with preparations today, I assume.”
His golden eyes study me. “You’re dancing around something.” He grins and plants his foot on the step, resting his forearms on his leg. “What are you wishing to do, Zara? I now know you well enough to know when you’re probing.”
Heat splashes my cheeks. “Well done.” I smile at him and step back, as he’s now at my eyelevel and is leaning in too close. “I’m wishing to continue my riding lessons. But without them mentioned to Madity. She’d become too upset if she knew.”
“And I’m going to agree with her on this.” He regards me with a stern look. “I think you need more rest.”
I bite down on my lip. I need to be away from Court to discuss things with Devlan. He made that clear. However, I don’t want Sebastian wondering why this is so important to me. I nod. “Yes. All right. I’ll wait.”
“I know riding gives you a reprieve from Court life.” He stands straight, placing one hand on his scabbard. “I’m going into town on the morrow. So if you will rest for now, I’d like for you to join me.”
A couple of days ago, hearing I’m to leave Court would’ve lifted my spirits. Now, waiting two days to speak with Devlan in privacy will drive me mad. “I would like that,” I say, gripping my gown behind my back.
Sebastian smiles and brings his communicator out from inside his trouser pocket. “Devlan,” he says into the device. It crackles.
“Your Highness.” My heart thumps against my breastbone as Devlan’s voice fills the air.
“Please meet the princess near the garden. Make sure Madity’s aware she’s resting for the day.” A beat. “Marital preparations can be postponed until she’s well.” Devlan acknowledges his orders, and Sebastian pockets the communicator.
I curtsy before Sebastian. “I look forward to our day together on the morrow.”
He grasps my hand, halting my getaway, and places a soft kiss on the back of it. “As do I.”
After I make my way to the garden, I glance around, taking in the colors. The brightness of the bushes, trees, and flowers are bolder, richer in the afternoon light, making the garden feel surreal. The fountain glints as the water cascades over in a shimmering rainbow.
“Princess Zara,” Devlan says, and I snap my head to the side. He looks the same as always: black tunic with blue vest, sword at his right side, dark hair feathering his eyes and ears. However, today there’s a cautiousness in his pale blue eyes as he approaches me. An unspoken question. “I trust you’re feeling better.”
“Yes.” I maneuver myself onto a stone bench to face him. “But not well enough for a ride, apparently.”
His lips quirk into a half-grin. “Nay. I would think not.”
He looks away, and I notice a small bruise near his temple, next to his eye. A small pang of regret hits my chest. I hope no one has questioned him about how he got it. I mentally note to apologize to him later—when we’re alone—for having kicked his face.
His hand cups the pommel of his sword and he leans to the side, resting his weight on one leg. His eyes travel to the apple tree, then to me. “Is it time for your walk?’
I nod in understanding.
My stomach flutters widely as I walk ahead of him toward the lake. I want to ask so many things it feels as if something is crawling under my skin. Having to contain all my emotions is crazy; I want to scream. Finally, we reach the lake, and I slump to the grass.
Devlan stands to my side, his form casting a shadow over me. “After supper, tell Sebastian you’re feeling unwell. Wait an hour. Then meet me outside on your balcony.”
I open my mouth to ask how he’ll be on my balcony, but he raises his hand. He glances at the tree branches again. “I hope you got enough rest today, princess.” His lips tug into a crooked smile. “Tonight, you’ll need it.”
* * *
Supper was agony. Trying to pay attention to conversation, smile, and act attentively while my body hummed with anticipation was sheer torture. Even now as I pace my room, I have no idea what I’m in for. But if I wait one more second, I’m going to combust.
Glancing at my clock, I huff. Five minutes. That’s long enough. It’s five minutes till Devlan told me to meet him on the balcony. I step to the door, then step away. Maybe there’s a specific time for a reason. Mayhap he’s scheduled the Eyes to pan the other side of the castle at precisely that time. I wring my hands.
I wish he’d been clearer. Here I am, taking huge risks, and I’m the one in the dark. I pace again.
At exactly nine o’clock, I swing the doors open, and Devlan hops over the edge of the balcony. I cover my mouth to keep from yelping. He presses his finger over his lips, then reaches out and takes my hand. He’s dressed in all black. I’m wearing the same hunter-green gown I wore to supper. Damn. I didn’t think to change.
He wraps a cord around my waist and latches it to one around his. Then he lifts my arms and wraps them around his neck. His breath fans my face, my bangs, my cheeks as he pulls me close to his body. My heart hammers so hard I know he can feel it pounding against his chest.
He scoops me into his arms and steps from the ledge. We drop off the side. My stomach tingles at the free-fall, and every muscle in my body clenches. Before I can even think to close my eyes or scream, we yank to a stop. Then we begin to slowly descend.
I look into his face. He’s wearing his knowing smile. I glare at him. This only makes his smile stretch.
When we reach the ground, he unhooks us, presses a button on a device that releases the cable from above, and reels in the cable as it falls. We run to the side of the castle where Fireblood awaits us, my heart in my throat the whole way. His plan is much better than my poor attempt at an escape. Much quicker, too.
Before I mount the horse, Devlan drapes me in a cloak. We ride hard toward the meadow. All of it couldn’t have taken more than five minutes. He’s good. When we reach the other side of the stone wall, I fall to the bank.
“Finally.” I take in a deep breath. “I was going mad.”
He tosses me a brown leather bag. “You did well. I’m impressed.” I look up at him, and he points to the woods before I can acknowledge or respond to his praise. “Go change.”
I glance down at the satchel. “All right…” I edge toward the darker part of the woods. The crickets shriek an anxious song, and the floor is coated with fog. I swallow down my heartbeat, which has lodged itself in my throat, quickly untie the leather bag, and empty its contents.
I hold up a pair of trousers and shake my head, but then look down at my dress. Whatever he has planned, I’m sure I don’t want to explain to Madity how I keep ruining all my gowns. I sigh and unlace the backing of my dress. I change into the pants—tight black pants—then fight my way into the tight black shirt, the cool air nipping at my bare skin. There’s just enough support for my lady parts, although the thin material leaves little to the imagination. I frown.
I emerge from behind a tree and hug my stomach tightly, my biceps just covering enough of my chest so I don’t feel as exposed. “I feel practically naked,” I say, squeezing my midsection. “I think you got my size wrong.”
Devlan turns around. He’s changed clothes also, and now wears a matching black shirt and pants. His muscled form is very apparent, and I focus instead on his face, which is shadowed, only one side partially illuminated by the moon, but I still see his eyes travel over my body. My face heats.
“It’s not too small,” he says. “You don’t want clothing getting in the way when you fight. And I can’t explain away a messed-up uniform.”
I nod, but then say, “I know you think I can do this, but look at me.” I fan my hand down my body. “I’m all of five foot and�
��and,” I stutter. “Well, all of five foot.” The extra two inches doesn’t add much at this point. I plant my hands on my hips.
He steps up to me. “Size is no matter.” He kicks my legs out from under me. I hit the ground hard, my breath whooshes out. “Once you learn how to block out the pain, and how to absorb blows, you won’t be scared when they come.”
I can’t believe he just did that. I slowly sit up and grab my aching back. “You bastard.”
“Yeah,” he remarks. And I can hear the change in his voice, the lilt of his words. He’s dropped his practiced formalities. “You’re not going to like me much during this. But it’s required. To harden you. Even before you came here as a princess, you were pampered.” He reaches down and takes my hand, then pulls me up. “I have to beat the spoiled princess out of you.” He sweeps my legs again.
“Damn it—”
“Well, I thought you knew it was coming.” He laughs. “You should’ve learned the first time.”
I glare up at him, striking through my previous mental note of apology for his bruise. He’s going to return the favor tenfold. And he has no right to accuse me of being spoiled! My father raised me anything but. “Just how am I supposed to block when you haven’t shown me.”
He squats beside me, balancing on the balls of his feet. “You know your body better than I do, princess.” His eyes scan over me. “Figure it out.”
I get to my feet, angrily dusting the earth off myself. “You know better than to call me that when we’re alone. You’re doing it to anger me.”
“And it’s working.” His eyes glint devilishly in the moonlight. “You need to get better control over your emotions. You’re far too easily vexed,” he spits the word mockingly.
I bite the inside of my lip, stopping myself from unleashing a slew of profanities at him. He’s purposely trying to get a rise out of me. Remembering how he trained me to ride, it doesn’t surprise as much as it annoys.
No matter his tactic, I know I need to be tougher, stronger—less breakable. I picture Hart’s face on the monitor, his beady, cold eyes, and latch onto the fire surging through my veins. “Fine,” I grind out. “Again.”
After hitting the ground so many times I lose count, I finally manage to evade one of his attacks.
Devlan stands before me, his arms laced over his chest. “Good.” He circles me. “Now learn to do that when your foe comes from behind.”
I hear his foot brush the ground and immediately jump backward and fall into him. His arm reaches around my shoulder and I go limp, dropping to the ground. I’ve discovered I’m not so much a fighter, but rather a rag doll. My skills seem to be floppiness and confusing him instead of trying to match his muscle, which I know I can’t do. He attempts to grab me, but I roll to the side.
“Damn.” He walks around and looks down at me, a tight smile crooking his lips. “That’s not bad.”
My chest inflates, and I jump to my feet. “Ha. I won’t be looking at you from the ground again.”
He rushes me and I panic. Waving my hands uselessly, I stumble back. He grasps me around the waist and hauls me into the air, my arms pinned to my side. His face is close to mine and he squints, studying my face to read my next move. I desperately want to own that ability. I turn my head away and kick, but he locks my feet between his thighs.
“What body part is free?” he says, grunting.
I wriggle against him, then stare into his eyes, his cocky smile. I don’t think—I slam my forehead into his. My anger works well for me, I decide. Then the pain rushes the front of my face, behind my eyes. Devlan falls to the ground, bringing me with him.
“Err,” he groans, his lips spreading into a soft smile. “I’m back to being convinced of your hardheadedness.”
I laugh and drop my head against his shoulder. “I think I need to aim for the nose, rather than give myself a horrid headache.”
“Good call.”
I feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath me. His breaths slow, and his body tenses. I can feel the solid curve of his muscles; his chest and stomach, and my face heats. I lift my head and stare down at him. His features are strained, his brow slightly creased.
I should move. I need to move off him.
But when he brushes my hair behind my ear, my whole body thrums, igniting under that simple touch, and I’m frozen. His lips part, his head lifts off the ground, and his breath brushes against my lips. His hands palm the back of my head and lower back, and then he flips me over. As his weight bears down on me, I suck in a breath. His face drops closer to mine as he reaches his hand down, grabs something out of his boot, then his movements are too quick for me to register—
He sinks a dagger into the earth beside my head.
I choke back a cry and my heart slams against my breastbone.
He looks to the side, then palms the ground and pushes up, getting to his feet. “Always be on guard.”
My eyes slip over the blade. It gleams, catching the blue streaks of the sky. I pull in quick, sharp breaths to calm the ache spreading through my chest.
Devlan walks over to the leather bag and picks it up. “Even when your foe appears to be rendered helpless,” he says, his voice tense, his eyes shaded by the dark, “always be on guard.”
I sit up and bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs. My eyes sting, and I rub the heels of my hands into the sockets. I don’t know if I’m more upset that he scared the shit out of me or that I let my guard down. Or that I thought…I push the stupid thought aside.
He scared the shit out of me.
I take steady breaths to calm down fully and angle my head to watch Devlan throw the supplies into the pack with quick, edgy movements. I still have so much to learn.
About myself.
And him.
TWENTY-ONE
I kick at the dirt and pine straw as I walk to the log seats. Sitting down, I stare up at Devlan. He continues to gather our stuff and toss it into the bag. “So how horrible am I?” I ask.
His head snaps my way. “Not horrible at all.” He stuffs my green dress into the satchel. “It would be ridiculous to think you could best me in one night.” He reveals a small smile. “But you surprised me more than once, and that’s more than many of the Rebels I trained with.”
My chest expands as I take in a big breath. I didn’t expect a compliment from him. “And how long did you train?”
He walks over and drops to the ground near me. He looks up into my eyes, the pale moon bathing his face in a soft glow. “Right after I left Court, Micah approached me. One of her spies informed her of the prince having a falling-out with his best friend.” He looks to the river. “It didn’t take long to convince me to join. I trained nearly every day before coming back here when I turned eighteen, the age required to become a knight.”
“So you’ve been here how long? A year?”
“Yeah. I’m nineteen. Sebastian advanced me to first knight quickly.” He glances around. “We should head back. You shouldn’t miss out on any more sleep. It’ll start to look suspicious, especially if you’re limping around.”
I rub the back of my neck. “I’m going to feel like death tomorrow.” Tomorrow. I enjoy the way the speech I’ve learned from Devlan feels on my tongue. I wish I could’ve kept my father’s books. I’d like to study them and learn more.
Devlan shakes his head and laughs. I especially enjoy that rare laugh. “I’ll bring you a soak in the morning. It’ll help the soreness.”
He stands and starts heading toward the opening in the wall.
“Wait.” I rise from my stump. “You can’t bring me here and beat me bloody and then not answer any of my questions.”
He turns and his brow furrows. “You were told everything last night.”
“No, I was slammed with too much all at once.” I walk toward him. “But now that I’ve had time to think, I have questions. I want to know how the Virus works, what it does to us. And I want to know about Outside. What are we going to face whe
n we succeed in lowering the barrier?” I stop a foot in front of him, look up, and cross my arms.
He first looks to the sky, then takes a step closer to me, cocking his head. “When?” His eyes pin me in place. “When we succeed? You have no doubt that you’ll do this.”
I hadn’t realized I’d said the word, but no. I do have doubt. Only I can’t think of the mission as mine. It’s ours, all the Rebels’. The doubt doesn’t seem to consume me when I think of it this way. “No,” I answer him. “My father’s out there. All our family is out there. There’s little doubt.”
His eyes travel over my face. He extends his hand, motioning toward the open area. I turn around, then think better about having my back to him and spin again, walking backward instead.
He chuckles. “You’re a quick learner. I’ll give you that.”
I settle down on the log, and he stands before me, his features masked by the night. “Well, are you going to answer my questions?”
He raises his hand and gestures for me to stand. “If you’re not sleeping, then you’re training. We have no down time, princess.” His lips curl up on the side. “I’ll answer them as you win hits.”
Standing, I stretch out my sore muscles. “How can I convince you to stop calling me that?” I lunge and land a blow to his thigh. I know Devlan isn’t fighting to his full potential while training me, but I plan to take any openings he gives.
Backing away slowly, I raise my brows. He sweeps the pine straw floor. I tumble out of the way. “You can’t,” he says. “It suits you.”
“I’ll figure out a way.” I kick and strike his shin, then hop back. “How does the Virus work?”
“It’s not easy to explain,” he says quickly, and rebounds with a kick to my leg. I groan and pull myself up, rubbing the spot. “I’m not a scientist. All I know is it’s triggered differently in everyone. I’ve been told it acclimates to our system, and our DNA activates it when the Virus mutates. Then it shuts down our body. Like a false death. The brain is alive, we even breathe, but we appear as dead.”
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