by Jen Ponce
"Yeah, but Nex had a message for him. He said that would even things out. Of course, I underestimated Nex's evil machinations. Medusa head was able to help but not by teaching me anything." I paused. I wasn't sure I should tell Tytan. Or maybe I should bind him to me first. Except I wasn't sure what would happen with three Skriven bound to me. His thumb was still rubbing, still distracting me. I tugged at my hand, but his grip tightened enough to let me know he still had enough strength to hold me if he wished.
"Medusa head is Vasili. What did you do?" His voice held amusement and was there, perhaps, the tiniest bit of fear? Naw. Not from Tytan.
"I made him my Draw."
Silence coiled between us like a snake readying itself to strike. His hand tightened on mine, not hard enough to hurt, not yet. "You bound him to you."
"Right." My mouth was dry. I wished for some water and wondered if I could use magic to get some. "Nex showed me how. Medusa, er Vasili, dripped his eye glop into me and made me breathe it. I won't get lung cancer or anything, will I?" I'd been sure my heart stopped.
"He dared attempt to turn you, knowing you are my Archaeon Tezrya?"
His voice was soft. Deadly. I was glad I wasn't Vasili. "He wasn't impressed with me."
His laughter surprised me. "Good." Then he choked on his humor. "You didn't."
I licked my lips. "Uh." I knew what he was talking about. He wanted to know if I'd bound Ravana. "Yeah. She pissed me off."
"That's why she started out wanting you as a pet and ended up wanting you dead. It's the only way to break the bond."
I licked my lips with a dry tongue. "How do I stop her?"
"She's an Originator. Her power is unfathomable." He grunted again, trying to get comfortable. "Let's worry about that later. Since you have a Draw, I'm guessing you can use the heart without hurting yourself. So work your magic on me."
"But, I don't know how."
His smile made me instantly suspicious. "Kiss me."
"In your dreams."
"It's the best way to transmit the healing. Through the mouth. Kiss me, pulse the heart, lend me your strength."
I glared at him. "There's no way I'm kissing you."
"You'd like it."
I'm sure I would, knowing how a simple touch from him felt. "I'm so not going there. How about a hand on your chest, or something?" I gingerly placed my hand below his collarbones, avoiding the blood splotches. I concentrated on the heart, opening up the power slowly, thinking of doctors, of wounds healing. Waited. "Anything?"
"The longer Lucy stays with your children in your house, the more firmly planted your soul will be in her."
In other words, kiss me now or you'll lose your kids. I wanted to kick him. "And how do I get her to wake up?"
"Kill her."
Death. It always came back to death. "I'm not killing her."
"She won't give up your soul without a fight. She thinks of it as hers. When you named her, you gave her a taste. She wants to be whole and Ravana gave her a significant amount of your soul. Enough that she believes she is you."
In this I have to agree with the Skriven, though I hate to do so. Lucy believes she is you. You have to take back your soul and the only way to do that is to kill her.
"I'm not killing her. There has to be another way." Rubbing at my forehead, I considered the visitors in my head. “What's left of you, Arsinua?"
What do you mean? Nothing.
"Not even your soul?" The idea grew fast like a tomato on Miracle Gro. "You can take her over. I'm betting your soul is intact. Right?"
No. I'm not taking another person's body. I am no longer a witch and rightfully so.
"But you could have a life again. Better yet, you could then begin to atone for the mistakes you made." I scrambled to my knees. "It could work, right Ty?"
He looked at me with a bemused expression. "I like it when you call me that."
I shoved him then had to apologize when he cursed, his face pulling tight in pain. "Arsinua's soul would outweigh, outnumber, out-something mine, right? I mean, hers is intact, mine is a fragment."
"I suppose it's possible. How would you make the transfer?" He wasn't asking me; he was musing aloud and maybe talking to Arsinua too.
I don't want to. I don't want to be in physical form. I deserve to be dead.
"Are you telling me you're a chicken? Because I'd never figured you for a coward."
Tytan raised a brow. "The witch is scared. Certainly she was courageous to have survived as long as she did in the Slip."
He's full of lies.
Something in Arsinua's voice gave me hope, though. I would give her time to contemplate my proposal. I asked the Skriven, "Why didn't my kids recognize me?"
He studied my face in an intimate way that made me fight myself not to squirm. "You've changed. Grown stronger. And you look battle weary. Lucy was in your home, she knew all the right words and she looked like their mother."
It wasn't reassuring. What if I managed to get Arsinua in Lucy and the kids wouldn't accept me? What could I do then? I felt sick.
"Please, Devany. I need you to heal me."
Again with the please. I was in danger of thinking Tytan might be something other than a conniving, dangerous demon creature. 'Arsinua? Is it true about the kiss?'
Intimacy aids the healing process, she said absently, still struck over the idea of having a body again.
'Intimate is not a word I want to use anywhere near Tytan.' A loud buzz of wings drew my gaze to one of the blasted windows. One of the anemic mosquitoes buzzed in, about the size of a hamster. The stinger looked to be half a foot long. I shuddered and hoped it wouldn't come near me.
Tytan followed my gaze then looked back at me. "Devany." He brought his arms up and painfully lifted his shirt. What I saw made my stomach turn over.
"Oh god, Ty. Don't." I couldn't look at him. "I'm sorry." Tears blurred my vision. "Will you help me stay alive? Stay away from her? I don't think I could survive her."
He grasped both my hands this time. "I will do what I can to keep you from harm. She banished me, Devany. I cannot access the power. And she holds the welfare of my soul in her hands."
“Cyres. She’s your soul, isn’t she?”
He grunted. I took that as a yes. “Where?”
“I don’t know.” He winced. "Heal me, Devany."
Shit. He wasn't going to let go of that bone, was he? I winced. Not the best word choice, considering. Sighing, I leaned in, finding the close proximity intoxicating. Inches before touching lips to lips, I accessed the power source in my belly, tugging a butt load of power through and enjoyed a grim moment of satisfaction that both Ravana and Medusa head would be suffering for it. Then I connected with his lips, telling myself it didn't mean a thing.
Maybe it was the fact that he'd had thousands of years to perfect his kissing technique. Maybe I was in need of physical touch after being without Tom. Maybe I was making excuses for the way desire and lust exploded in my belly at the touch of his skin against mine. I forced myself to stay at his side instead of jumping on top of him and yelling, "Take me now."
In my defense, I've never said that. That I wanted to say it now only meant I was tired and riding on little brainpower and a whole lot of adrenaline. The magic poured through me, not a trickle but a Niagara Falls deluge. My skin tightened, my breathing sped up while my heart stopped. It all fell away, I'm ashamed to say. My kids, Zech, Ravana, Tom, worries—washed away by the lapping waves of desire. I reveled in the complete takeover of all my faculties.
He moved under me, his hands tugging me. That alerted me to the change in him, the heat that radiated from him. I moved away, my breath ragged. "What are you doing?" His eyes were red, glazed with desire. "Ty."
"I want you."
My nostrils flared. I could smell his need, how's that for strange? It made me want to strip naked. I scrambled backward, away from him and his Venus Fly trap of a body. "Are you healed? Are you?" I was aware I sounded shrill.
His eyes
beckoned me. I shut mine. I heard him breathing. He said, "Your power has grown."
I was rubbing my lips together, enjoying the swollen numbness of them even as I lectured myself that it was wrong, wrong, wrong. "Is that a yes? Can we go now? Save my kids?" Ravana said they were safe, though the idea of Lucy hugging them while she pretended to me made my stomach hurt. "She won't hurt them, right? She loves them because I love them, right?"
"I'm certain that's true."
His low timbered voice reassured me. I fought to keep from crawling over and curling into his arms. I didn't need him. I could stand on my own.
It's his nature to allure. He conjures lust in humans. Remember that. It's not real, what you're feeling. He's generating it. That's how he gets free power he doesn't have to pull from Ravana.
Great. The most exciting kiss of my life and it was with a demon who used kisses to feed on lust. I rose and brushed the dirt off my butt. "Let's go. Let's get my life back."
He stood so fluidly I would've doubted his injuries if I hadn't seen the gruesome evidence. "We need Arsinua's male friend."
"Zech? He's injured. And I'm not going to run over and kiss him, either, so forget it." I rubbed my finger across my bottom lip to alleviate the tingling. Tytan watched closely. I dropped my hand.
"Is there anyone else? We need a witch."
A witch? I only knew three, Zech, Arsinua and the woman who'd given me the ring. Considering the burden I'd taken from her, she owed me, right? "I know someone who might help."
Don't pull Marantha into this.
'She was in this when she first took that ring as her own. She was in this when she gave it to me.'
Arsinua didn't respond. I held out my hand to Tytan. "Let's get this over with. I want my kids. I need to hold them."
He took my hand and I ignored the thrum of attraction as I drew the doorway.
THIRTY
Marantha's house was missing its left wall and Marantha herself was sprawled in a flowering bush bleeding from gashes in her head and on her arms. I knelt beside her while Tytan stood guard. I laid my hand on the older woman's cheek. "What happened? Marantha? Can you hear me?"
She shook her head. "You've brought trouble to my door step, young woman."
"What trouble? Who did this?" And why couldn't one thing go right? I stopped, my stomach knotted as I realized I was angry with her for being hurt. Shit. What kind of a person was I turning in to? "I'm sorry."
Grunting, she held out her hand. "Help me out of this bush, will you? Easy," she said as I slipped my hand under her shoulders. She staggered into me as we stepped over the ruin of her wall into her front room. She fell into a chair sending a ton of dust into the air. I sneezed, she sneezed. Waving her arms to disperse the cloud, she said, "How would anyone notice the passing of the ring?"
I ran my hands through my hair, wondering as I did how long it had been since I'd washed it. It felt oily and dirty. I itched for a brush even as I told myself I should be more concerned with who had blown Marantha out of her house. "Maybe a member of the Theleoni followed me."
"No, no. It was one of the Coven of the Lotus."
They work for the good of Midia. They wouldn't try to kill someone.
Since this shit had been thrust on me, I'd learned that anything could happen. Anything. "Why?"
"They followed you. Asked me politely over a cup of tea what I'd given you. I didn't tell them but one of their group had circled round to the back to break into my wagon. That one knew the ring was missing because he wanted it. He'd asked about buying it before, at least four times."
Arsinua was moaning in my head. I tried to shut her out as I asked, "Why didn't you give it to him?"
"Because he wanted it."
I frowned at her. "I wanted it."
"You needed it but you didn't want it."
I threw up my hands. "You made me feel guilty for taking it."
One bony shoulder lifted and dropped. "It was part of the ritual of the thing. I could only give it to one who needed it but didn't want it. I had to make sure that you were taking it for the right reasons. If I gave it to someone who wanted it I would die."
"Truly die? Or 'OMG, I'm so embarrassed I could die,' die?" She looked at me and I dropped my gaze, ashamed of my stab at sarcasm. "I'm tired."
"I know. As am I. And I fear I won't be getting any sleep, for you didn't come running to my rescue; you couldn't have known I was in peril." Her hand grasped mine and squeezed lightly until I looked up at her. "What is it you need?"
I sighed. "It's a long story."
She nodded, as if that didn't surprise her. "Give me the bare bones." She leaned in close. "Don't forget to tell me why you have a fallen Skriven with you."
"Fallen?" I lowered my voice even though Tytan was pacing outside, too far away to hear me talk about him. "What do you mean?"
"He's in physical form, isn't he? I see his shadow."
I looked at him. He did have a shadow, but why wouldn't he? I couldn't remember noticing if he'd had one the times he'd harassed me in my world. "So?"
"You have so much to learn."
That again. People loved to rub my ignorance in my face. "Yes, I do." Resentment tainted my words.
"Tell me your story. If I can help you, I will." She sat patiently while I stumbled through it, from the first moment I entered the hook until I lifted her out of her bushes. I had to back track a few times when I realized I'd forgotten a key part of the story. She interrupted me only twice and both times to clarify what I'd said.
With my tale told, it sat between us like a living thing. The weight of it pressed into my stomach, making me want to curl into a tight little ball and wail like a baby. Tytan's hand settled on my shoulder. His power thrummed through me, my muscles relaxing and the tightness easing in my stomach. The wash of relaxation must be another one of his talents. I liked it more than his lust inducing touch.
Marantha smoothed her hands over her knees. "So you want me to help you displace the part of your soul in this," she glanced at Tytan, "formless one, with Arsinua's soul. And Arsinua is inside you right now."
"Yes."
"May I talk to her?"
I frowned. "You are."
"No. I mean, can I talk directly to her, without your interference."
What did she mean? Then I remembered how Arsinua came forward with the cops. 'Do you want to talk to her?' Arsinua didn't answer. I sighed. "She's not talking to me. This has been hard on her."
Marantha scooted to the edge of her chair. "Arsinua. Do you hear me? I want to talk to you. You. I want to know if this is something you want as well. I won't do it, otherwise."
My mouth opened to protest, but what could I say? If Arsinua wouldn't do it, then I would figure out another way to get my life back, even if it meant kidnapping my look alike and using the hook to take her far away. I didn't want to do that to Lucy. Now that she thought she was me, she would feel the same pain I felt now at not being near my children.
'Arsinua. Just talk to her. Please. If your answer's no, then I'll figure something else out.'
I'm ashamed. I'm hurt. I don't know what to think about anything anymore.
Her despair lapped at me, but I refused to let it overtake me. I pushed it into a separate compartment from my emotions and locked the door. "She won't do it." My voice dipped with my disappointment.
Then she pushed forward, taking me over with a rush that overwhelmed me. From the back of my mind, I saw the older woman start. Why? Did my face change when she came forward? But then, wouldn't the cops have noticed when Arsinua had done it with them?
"Arsinua? Amazing." Marantha put her fingers to her lips, and then dropped her hand into her lap, stiffening her spine. "I don't care what has happened. It's past. Your guilt and shame are no use to you now, as well you know. This young woman needs my help. She needs your help. Are you willing to have your soul pushed into that vessel?"
A picture that had been dangling crookedly on the last remaining wall fell to the floor wi
th the crack of broken glass. Marantha jumped and Tytan left, to patrol I assumed. I immediately missed the calm he'd been imposing upon me.
Arsinua said, "I don't deserve to live."
Marantha waved her hand. "Nonsense."
She wrung my hands in her frustration. "I caused all this. Because of my weakness. My pride."
"Then fix it. Try. Hiding in this woman's head won't solve anything." Marantha's face had hardened. No more kind, concerned listener. She looked as she had in the garden when she'd given me the ring and made me feel bad for taking it.
"I've helped." I saw images of the spells, the information, and the lodestones. She had helped. I wouldn't have known any of those things had she not taught me. "I could stay with her, teach her what I know. Guide her."
Marantha harrumphed. "Did you ever think your presence inside this woman is intrusive? You are there, listening to her thoughts, witnessing her emotions. Would you wish to have someone watching you all the time? Hmm?"
'That's true,' I whispered to Arsinua, thinking of how many showers I'd missed and the one I'd taken in a hurry, feeling like I was naked in front of an audience.
Arsinua shuddered. "I wouldn't like it. But I can't take another person's body."
"She's not a person. She's a construct. A vessel to be filled," Tytan said. Arsinua and I looked around, surprised. Even in the shadows of the room, I could see him. He glowed. Not in the sickly way Cambion had, either.
"Devany thought of her as a person and gave her a name. She had a personality before Ravana gave her Devany's soul. How can I take that away?"
Good point, damn it.
Tytan crossed his arms. "You are a great witch, but a damnable awful person."
If I'd had control of my arms, I would have slapped my forehead. What was he thinking? Insulting her wouldn't help. She'd freak out, or start moaning again.
Instead, she straightened my spine. "You don't know anything about me."
His lips quirked. "I know you're a coward."
She tightened my lips. I silently urged her to yell at him, curse him, something. She didn't. My spine slumped. "I'm weak, that's true."