by Harper Sloan
"And that has something to do with you not wanting me to eat cold eggs?" he questions, taking another huge bite. I look down, shocked to see that he's almost done eating.
"Just reminded me of some stuff."
Shane nods and then the silence stretches on. I continue to eat, but even with a much smaller helping, he's done well before I am. I look up when he picks up his drink, my eyes glued to his neck while he swallows. Who would have thought that a man drinking some juice out of a girly pink cup would be so dang hot, but as his throat constricts with each swallow, I find myself getting more and more turned on.
When the last of his juice is gone, he calmly places his cup down and rips a paper towel off the roll in the middle of the table and wipes his mouth. I put the last bite of toast in my mouth and wash it down with some of my drink, trying to calm my horny body down.
"I don't care if it's cold, hot, or some creation you slaved over that tastes like shit. If you make it for me, I'm going to eat it. My mama might not have been able to give us much growing up, but she taught us respect and how to give that to those in our lives. I'm not your ex, and fake or not, you'll have my respect without question."
"Uh, wow."
"Try not to be so shocked that I have manners, cherie. I know how to treat a woman."
"Thank you," I finally say with a shrug, not really sure what to do with all that. "Your mother sounds lovely," I add awkwardly.
"She was."
"I'm sorry," I tell him, seeing how much he cared for his mother clear as day as a shadow crosses over his face.
He lifts his shoulder, not looking away. "She lived a hard life. By the time she got sick, there just wasn't any fight left in her. I miss her, but she's in a better place."
"Your dad?"
"Not in my life. Just me and Libby now. Her dad took off right after she was born." The frown lines leave his face, and a small smile curls his lips. "She's one of the greatest things I have. When I moved here, she transferred schools so we wouldn't be hours apart."
"I always wanted a sister. It sounds like you guys are really close. How old is she?"
"We are. She just turned twenty-one. Pain in my ass, but I would do anything for the brat."
My gaze roams from his eyes to his lips--now fully smiling with his teeth showing--and I don't think I've ever seen him so open. His strong jaw even more pronounced, the beard that he keeps trimmed short only emphasizing his features more.
"I like you like this," I blurt, groaning when I realize that my filter has once again failed me in life.
The corners of his eyes crinkle, his lips curving even more. "Like what?"
"I don't know ... open?" I lift my hand and wave it around, biting my lip. Oh, come on, Nik, you've never been shy before. Just speak your mind. It's not as if this is a real relationship where you have to impress him. But what if I want to impress him? "I've known you for a few years now, and I've learned more about you in five minutes than I have in all that time. You always just seem so ... closed off. I like this a lot more than the heavy shield that I always felt like you had up whenever I would come around."
"Doesn't make much sense if we're supposed to be in a relationship and we don't know much about each other, does it?"
"So you'll do it?"
"Mon colibri, you would be shocked at just how much I would do for you."
"You don't know me," I remind him, his confession warming something deep inside me.
"Yeah, I do."
"No, you don't."
He settles back in his chair and crosses his arms. The cocky expression he gives me a second later makes me narrow my eyes, waiting to see what kind of game he's playing. I meant it when I said I had learned more about Shane Kingston in this small time here at my kitchen table than I have since he moved to town. Over two years and he's been some enigma that kept pulling me closer but never gave anything to encourage the pull I felt.
"You work at Rosefield Prep, second-grade teacher for the past three years, got the job right out of college. Only child. Parents not in the picture. Not because they're shit parents but because they had you late in life and you've never been close. You've had one boyfriend, the douche, since you were in high school. You prefer vodka with orange juice but will settle for cranberry if that's not an option. You'll drink until you can't walk but, somehow, can still dance. You're more like a sister to your best friend than she is to her own sister. Your loyalty to her is something, I imagine, anyone you allow close gets. And," he whispers, leaning forward. "When you're about to come, you make this sound that I swear to Christ sounds like a hummingbird is trapped in your chest."
My eyes are just as wide as my mouth, my jaw hanging loose from shock. "How, what... are you kidding?" I rush out.
"Like I said, I know you."
"Are you a stalker?"
If I thought he was the hottest man on this planet before, when he tips his head back and a deep laugh booms from him, I know he's the hottest man in the universe. That rusty hilarity getting even richer as he continues to chuckle in the most manly of ways. When he focuses back on me, that golden hue has returned to his gaze, and I melt.
"I mean, I'm thinking I could deal with it if you were," I continue, wanting more than anything to hear that sound again. "I'd just like to know what I'm working with, is all."
"I'm not a stalker, Nikki."
"Oh, well ... okay."
"Fuck, you're cute."
My face heats as I choose to ignore him. I stand and collect our dishes, walking to the sink and rinsing everything off before placing them in the dishwasher.
"How do you know all that?" I finally ask, closing the door of the dishwasher and drying my hands off on the hand towel next to the sink.
"Nate's my best friend. He talks a lot. Most of the time I ignore him, but I didn't when you would come up."
"Why?"
He frowns, not answering. I walk to his side and lift my hand to his face to smooth out the wrinkles between his brows. The sensation of his skin against mine making my body burn, drunk for more of the feelings touching him brings. I trail my hand up, raking my fingers through his thick, dark hair. I repeat the motion, bringing my free hand up to mirror the other. The buzz cut at the sides of his scalp tickling my skin. His eyes close, just as lost as I am.
Get the upper hand.
The thought filters through my mind, and without pause, I move my hands to frame his face, giving a twitch of my wrists to tip his face up--going from soft petting to forceful direction. His eyes snap open, hands moving lightning fast to my wrists, holding tightly. I can see he wants to take over, but he doesn't.
"I like how it feels knowing you didn't ignore him."
The fire in his eyes making the flecks of gold come alive. His hold on my wrists just shy of painful. I bend; the position I've got his head in being the perfect angle for me to get nose to nose with him. If he hadn't been sitting, I never would have been able to gain this kind of advantage. I don't think he'll let me have it for long either, so I might as well take what I can.
"You're going to let me get to know you, Shane Kingston. While you're mine and I'm yours to the world, you'll let me in. When this ends between us, I want to be able to look back and know that, while it lasted, I had all of you."
I can feel his rapid breathing against my lips. He doesn't move and his hold doesn't change, but those eyes sure do. Pure golden fire. His nostrils flare in sync with his heaving chest as he continues to search my face.
"C'est un jeu dangereux," he whispers hoarsely.
"What did you say?" I demand, narrowing my eyes.
His brow lifts in answer, not speaking.
"I see I'm going to need to learn French so you can't keep things from me while you're in my life."
I ignore the twinge in my gut at the reminder that his time in my life is temporary, but by some miracle, I keep from showing him.
"I said this is a dangerous game."
"Dangerous is my middle name," I joke, winking at him and
still not releasing my hold. "I like dangerous."
His hands flex, my wrists smarting for a moment until his hold relaxes some. "No more ignoring me. We do this; we do this all the way. No way anyone will believe we're together if you're disappearing for weeks."
"You make it sound like it was months, Shane. I had a few busy weeks at work. I didn't disappear."
"And from now on, those busy weeks will always find a little time for me. Always."
A hiccup of air gets caught in my throat. I clear my throat and nod. "Are you going to be able to make everyone--including our exes--believe we're madly obsessed with each other?"
"That, Nikki, won't be a fucking problem."
"Yeah," I murmur, looking at his full lips. "I think you're right."
"NO ONE CAN KNOW ABOUT this being fake," Shane says, his voice muffled by the T-shirt he's pulling over his head.
"Excuse me?"
He finishes dressing instead of answering.
"Shane?"
He sits down on my bed with a huff, pulling his boots on before looking up and leaning back on his hands.
"You're right. I need you just as much as you need me to get someone out of my life. We need to keep this agreement between us. That way, there isn't a chance those someones find out we're playing them."
"I'm assuming you mean I can't tell Ember either?"
He nods, watching me with his stoic expression.
"She wouldn't tell anyone."
"I don't think she would, but if we want to be believable, that means the people who know us the best should buy it too. Otherwise, we're not doing it right."
I weigh his words, pulling my arms across my body. "I don't like keeping things from my best friend, Shane."
"I can respect that, but it's a deal breaker for me, Nikki."
"Son of a biscuit." His face goes soft, and I know he thinks my weirdness is funny. You try working around kids all day and not cussing, and you'll learn all sorts of tricks around it. Weird or not, it's my thing. "If she finds out, she won't be happy."
"Then don't tell her. It's no one's business but ours."
"And when we succeed in getting our exes out of the picture and this thing between us ends?"
He stands, towering over me, and lightly takes my elbows in his hands, not trying to get me to unfold my arms but making sure I see just how serious he is. "Then we'll break up like any other couple but go on as friends."
"Unless you fall in love with me and we end up hating each other."
"Don't worry about me, cherie." I hear his unspoken words. It's written all over his face that he thinks I'll be the one to fall for him. "Are we agreed?"
"Yeah, boyfriend of mine, we're agreed. Don't worry; I won't fall in love with you either."
"Fuck," he says under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing. Walk me out?"
I nod, missing his touch when he releases me. I follow behind him, allowing myself a second to wish this wasn't fake and I could ask him to spend his Saturday with me. Instead, I smile as he opens the door and looks back at me.
"I'll be at Dirty until we open, but Dent should be back so if you can wait to eat dinner until around eight, we can go to the new hibachi place in town."
"Like a date?"
"You want people to believe you're mine, mon colibri, and it's kind of hard to show that off without going on a few."
"I can wait," I breathe.
"See you then," he says, his smirk telling me he's enjoying the fact he can gain the upper hand anytime he wants. He leaves the door open, walks back toward me, and lifts one hand to the nape of my neck. Curling it behind my neck with a strong hold, he pulls me into his body at the same time his lips crash against mine. His kiss bruising, deep, all-consuming, and ... branding.
I'm still standing there with my eyes closed and my lips burning long after the sound of my front door shutting stops echoing through my apartment.
Yeah, this is a dangerous game, for sure.
"You're what!"
I hold the phone away from my face but not before Ember's screech hits my ear, making me wince. I should have put her on speakerphone and saved my hearing, but in my defense, I'm a little rattled knowing I have a date--fake or not--with Shane Kingston tonight.
"You heard me."
"Shane, Shane? As in, the same Shane who is my husband's business partner? That Shane?"
"Know a lot of Shanes, Em?" I laugh, placing the phone on my bathroom counter so I can finish my makeup and save my ears from any more outbursts by my overly excited best friend.
"Well, no, but he's Shane."
"Yes, he is," I reply, my voice deeper than normal. I look at my reflection, seeing my lust-filled expression looking back at me.
"When the hell did this happen?"
"A few weekends-ish ago," I hedge.
"Well, that's as clear as mud. Hold on, baby's crying." I hear her phone clatter against something hard and picture her moving around her house in my head. Quinnie's angry cries follow a second later, mingling with Ember's calming sounds. "Sorry about that; she's been fussy with these teeth coming in."
"It's okay. Do you want to let me go?"
She snorts. "Yeah, right. She'll calm down, but this gossip about you and Shane can't wait. I can't believe this is the first I'm hearing of this."
"There really isn't much to tell, Em. We're dating. Seeing where this attraction between us goes." Not a lie. No reason to feel guilty. But I do. I hate keeping things from her. She's been my best friend for so long, and we have no secrets between us. "There's no reason to get all worked up about it, girlfriend."
"Are you nuts?! This is the first guy you've dated at all since that jerk. I think it's more than enough of a reason to get worked up!"
"You're insane." I laugh.
"Are you going to sleep with him?"
"Uh ..." I evade.
"You've already slept with him!"
The baby starts crying after her outburst, and I wait for her to calm her before speaking.
"Get any louder and I'm sure the whole town will know. Jeez, Em, calm the crazy down a few notches."
"You know, I'm not blind just because I'm married. I've seen how he moves his body when they're dancing at Dirty. Don't even try to act like you're shocked I'm curious about how he moves off the bar and between the sheets."
"I bet said husband would love to know you're asking about how his best friend can move."
She makes a pfft sound before she snorts again. "Nate isn't jealous like that."
"Yeah, and the sky is brown."
"Whatever."
I swipe another layer of gloss on my lips while my eyes roam over my face to make sure my makeup is perfect. Not even when I first started dating Seth did I put this much work into looking my best. "Do you think it's normal for me to keep comparing him to Seth?" I ask, not liking that it keeps happening but not experienced enough to know if it's normal.
"I wouldn't know, hon," Ember replies, no longer sounding manic in her excitement. "I'm about as well-versed as you are in the relationship department. When Nate and I first started seeing each other, I did the same thing, though, so I think it's normal. Or when you haven't had a lot of experience, it is."
"Or we're just naive to how all this works."
"You were with Seth for a long time, Nik. Not only that, but you haven't dated since y'all broke up, so I think it's just the natural course for anyone in the same situation. Does Shane know about Seth?"
I wince. I can't tell her just how much he knows, and I hate that. "Yeah."
"If you're worried about it, be honest about it with him. He deserves to have a fair fight with whatever hang-ups Seth left you with. Talk it out and let him show you that he isn't like Seth, the jerk."
"We've already been there," I say softly. "This morning, over him waiting on me to eat, of all things."
"This morning, huh?"
"Oh, hush."
"Tell me what happened."
I replay my break
fast with Shane, only leaving out the talk about our 'relationship' but giving her the rest. Including my near panic-inducing moment about cold freaking eggs. Ember knows just how nasty things got with Seth, so I don't have to go into much detail.
"You know, if it was legal to kill someone, that asshole would be the first person I shanked."
"How do you even know what shanking someone means?"
"I watch Wentworth on Netflix; I could be scrappy in prison. Don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind a time or two with that guy."
"You wouldn't last an hour in prison." I laugh.
"To answer your earlier question," she says, ignoring me, "in situations like that, I think it's normal. You did the right thing by talking to him about it. Letting him know why you had that moment and giving him a chance to ease your mind. Shane's a good guy, Nik. He's going to treat you well."
"Yeah, he is."
"Don't give Seth any power in what you're starting with Shane," she tells me after a moment of silence. "He has no right to something like that. If you're reminded of the bad memories he left you with, you let Shane give you the words to make it good. Holding on to that will only keep you from moving on."
"Easier said than done."
"It is, but you have a few people ready to lift you up if you need it. You know that."
My eyes sting, and I feel even more guilt over keeping the complete truth from her. "I love you, sister from another mister."
"Right back at you, Nik."
"Give my goddaughter a kiss for me, okay?"
"I will. And you call me first thing tomorrow and tell me how the date went!"
I laugh, agree, and wait until she says bye before cutting her off. "Hey, Em?"
"Yeah?"
"If you thought how he moved on the bar was hot, what he can do in the sheets should be illegal."
I hang up the phone but not before I hear her screaming. I'll pay for that, I'm sure, but after hearing way more than I wanted to about her husband's skills, it's only fair.
I almost trip when I walk out of the bathroom and my foot gets tangled in all the clothes I had been trying on before finally giving up on finding an outfit and moving to tackle my hair and face. Why am I making such a big deal about dinner? It's not like this is a real date. Just two people enjoying the mutual benefits of each other's company while having dinner. Right?
This is insane. If I don't drive myself mad with my need for what he can do to my body, I'll do it by constantly worrying about keeping myself on the straight and narrow where this 'relationship' is concerned. Constantly having to remind myself it's not real will only make it harder for me to actually pretend.