by Briann Danae
Sen let her handle him for a few, but she wasn’t running shit, not this time. Leaning forward, he slowed his strokes down and kissed her on her shoulder, before making his way to her neck. The feel of his lips sent a shiver down her spine, and her legs began to shake when he stuck his long, slick tongue in her ear.
“Yeah, just like that. Cum on my dick and you better release it all.”
Even in his state of talking shit, Neicey knew exactly what to say to have him busting as well. “Ooh, I love this dick baby. Fuck, I’m cumming!”
“Shit,” he hissed, before releasing his doubts inside of her.
Falling atop her, Sen cradled her in his arms, no longer upset. It was crazy what a nut could do. Wrapping his arms around her midriff, her soft curves molded to the contours of his lean frame. He wasn’t as fit as Meechi, but he wasn’t out of shape either. He smoked entirely too much weed to have an eight-pack. Plus, the munchies were real when he was high.
“You ever think about leaving me again, just leave, aight?”
His breath was warm and moist against the back of her ear, and it made Neicey’s heart race. Confusion settled against Neicey’s relaxed face, and she maneuvered her body so she could face him. Brushing her hand up the side of his face, she softly kissed his lips with a longingness while massaging his scalp.
“Why would you say that?”
He huffed and pulled her frame closer to his. Neicey’s head was tucked away in his chest, against his rapid heartbeat. Sen was afraid of losing her again and, though he talked big shit about him running things, Neicey had his heart and he’d prefer for her to just leave so, when she broke it, she could always have a piece of him with her whether she wanted to or not.
“I’m just letting you know. If you not happy here, I know a few ways to force you to stay, but I love you too fucking much to put you through that. So, just leave, aight? Keep your key though, in case you wanna come back.”
“I am happy, bae. I was just…” she paused and shook her head. “I don’t know what made me say that, but I’ll never leave you,” she spoke clearly, in a relaxed tone.
Neicey was beyond confused, with herself and with Sen, but that was their life at the moment. Confusion caused worry and worry caused doubt, three things neither of them needed. The words Sen spoke sounded like they made sense to him so, surely, they made sense to her. There was no need to sugarcoat how he was feeling. While Neicey confessed that she would never leave him, she was praying that she’d hear those words when it was time for them to be spoken. Because, they were going to need to be said for her to keep her sanity.
***
“Twice in one month? I’m proud of you.”
Dr. Fallone was not prepared for Neicey’s impromptu arrival this morning, but she was indeed happy to see her. Their last session was stalled, and more so of Neicey explaining how he wanted to explain to Sen why she needed counseling, but they never got to a conclusion of when. A plan would only remain a plan, a thought, or idea, until it was implemented. Neicey could discuss how she wanted to express herself all day, but it would never matter until there was action behind her words.
Neicey shrugged, not taking the praise to the head. She did acknowledge her efforts as well, though. “I’m proud of me, too. I really don’t like coming here, but it makes me feel relaxed sometimes. No pressure to expose anything if I don’t want to, you know?”
Fallone nodded. She understood perfectly. “I do. Are you not relaxed at home?”
“I used to be,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulders before standing.
Pondering on why her home had become a place she hardly liked to be anymore, Neicey wandered toward the huge window. The view from the office overlooked the city, and it was a great move on the company for being set up this way. She felt at ease when staring aimlessly at high rise buildings, the busy traffic below, and blue skies. Though an amazing view, tucked behind the glass that separated the outside from the inside was a room full of self-doubt, hurt, and grief.
Without turning around, she continued her reply. “It’s like I feel suffocated now. Like, I’m forced to…”
She stopped, not liking the choice of words she was about to say. Fallone picked up on her silence and encouraged her to word the sentence another way, something that didn’t trigger her emotions.
Neicey turned and sighed heavily, wishing Fallone could just give her the answers she was looking for, fix whatever issues she had internally and externally. Only Neicey could fix those, if she wanted to. Fallone was simply a tour guide to help her get to the destination of peace, something she desperately needed.
“I haven’t always been in a relationship. I mean, I’ve dated guys. They’ve paid my bills. Funded expensive trips. Copped anything designer that I wanted. Kept me interested enough to care about them, but none of them have ever… loved me.”
Awkwardly, Neicey cleared her throat and forced her legs to move toward the chair. With a thud, she let out a sigh.
“None of them ever loved me until Sen.”
“And how do you consider one man’s professed love realer than the next?”
Neicey swallowed hard, trying to manage a feeble answer. She had asked herself the same question years ago when she and Sen first expressed their love for one another. Licking her lips, she felt her tense shoulders slightly relax.
“I let my guard down. Completely. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t even be here. Be talking to you and trying to get fixed.”
“You don’t need fixing, Neicey. My goal isn’t to fix you but, rather, guide you to that place in your life where you can really let your guard down for Sen. Because, it’s not and you know it.”
Neicey rolled her eyes at the revelation. “Why do you always have to call me out?”
“It’s what I do best,” Fallone replied with a smirk. “Who else will, if I don’t?”
“Erica. I should bring her next time.”
Fallone shook her head no. “Not necessary. This isn’t about her, nor is the journey you’re on. The only people I will grant access to our sessions, if you choose to let them, is your mother and Sen. Anyone else is irrelevant for the subject at hand.”
“But, Erica has been there for me before Sen was,” Neicey voiced in rebuttal.
“And she’ll be there when this is all over. I’m positive that she is rooting for you, but some situations with certain people don’t always need their input. Not hands-on, anyway. The people you have in these sessions are detrimental to your health.”
Top lip curled upward, Neicey scowled. “So, I’m not in good health now?”
“You’ve complained about stress, am I wrong?”
“You know you’re not wrong,” she huffed in annoyance at herself for asking the question.
“And you know it as well. Stress plays a huge factor in a healthy life. The less you have, the longer you’ll live.”
Neicey wasn’t stressed out like a mother of five bad ass kids running around the house who never listened, but she stressed herself out with worry. Concerned with what the future held for her and Sen, she might as well have been that mother of five. She was physically and mentally tired of not knowing what pitch life would throw her way next.
“You make it all sound so easy,” Neicey said, standing to her feet. She was ready to go. After a brief encounter with Dex at work earlier in the day, she had no choice but to pop up on Fallone, demanding answers. Not about Dex, because she didn’t want her already jumbled mess to begin to look like shit, if he was mentioned. Instead, she was searching for the reasons why she hadn’t pursued him back in the day.
“Thanks for meeting with me at such short notice.”
Fallone held the door open for her and smiled. “Of course. I’ll see you…”
“When you see me,” Neicey laughed. “I’ll try to do this more often than once every month. Today was good.”
A smile spread across Fallone’s face and she couldn’t agree more. Neicey was making progress. It may not have been in the way she
thought she would, but the fact that she even showed up, willingly, spoke volumes. And, though today’s session went well, she was still about to spark up the blunt inside her middle console once she got to her car. There wasn’t anything like a stuffed cigarillo with the best bud to mellow her out.
***
“I can’t believe you are this high right now,” Erica huffed, with a shake of her head.
Neicey giggled with low lids, before stuffing a forkful full of cheesy, bacon potato wedges in her mouth. She hadn’t realized she smoked damn near the entire blunt on her way to Erica’s crib. Riding and lost in her thoughts, she just puffed away. It wasn’t until she could hardly get out of the car that she knew she was fucked up. Only thing that was going to sober her up was food, and she had ordered lots of it.
“Sen must have gotten some new weed or something. I have never been this high before.”
Erica chuckled. “You say that every time you smoke. I’m not about to play with your ass.”
“I’m for real!” Neicey exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “He must have laced it.”
Silence came from Erica’s side. She was no longer laughing. “Laced it with what?”
Turning her head slowly in her directions, Neicey’s eyes went wide before whispering, “You know what.”
“Shut the fuck up Neicey. He would not do that, and why are you whispering?”
She leaned in closer, making Erica push her back before she pissed her off. This pregnancy had her moody as ever. Their little boy was taking his precious time, and she wasn’t feeling his stalling one bit.
“They might hear me and try to snitch on my nigga. He too fine to go to jail, bitch. I will catch a case if they snitch.”
“If who snitch?” Erica was holding in her laugh now, wishing she had her phone to record this mess. She was starting to think Sen did lace her blunt for real.
“Them,” she hissed in a whispered tone, pointing to the mannequins in the display window. “Stiff ass hoes just staring at us while we talk.”
Slapping the steering wheel, Erica cried laughing. Her body shook as tears rolled down her cheeks, and baby Meechi began going haywire in her belly. Once she could catch her breath, she wiped her eyes and looked at Neicey, who had gone back to eating her fries.
“You do know that those are mannequin dolls, right? You aren’t that damn high.”
Neicey shrugged. “Gotta be careful around everyone. Them hoes got ears just like the next nigga.”
Shaking her head with another laugh, Erica hit the locks. “Well, they’re just gonna have to hear me then. Come on. I’m not trying to be out all day. This boy is wearing me down.”
“Wearing them ankles down. I don’t even know why I picked you up,” Neicey said, grabbing her purse and food bag from the floor. “You supposed to be off your feet like Meechi said.”
“Girl,” Erica sucked her teeth, shut the driver’s side door, and continued once Neicey was out of the car. “Unless my doctor tells me to stay off my feet, in example, be placed on bedrest, I am fine.”
“Don’t in example me, like I don’t know what the hell you mean. When Meechi blow your phone up when he sees that you’re not at home, don’t be mad and look my way.”
Erica smirked and playful bumped into Neicey as they walked up the sidewalk. “Awww, why can’t I look your way?” she cooed.”
Neicey laughed. “Because, I’ma curse his ass out and then you gone be super mad.”
“Ha! That’s what you better have said. Why is their store this packed on a Monday? Folk don’t have no job?”
Opening the door to Dress Em’ Up, Neicey shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t know what everyone else was doing on a Monday, nor did she care if they had a job. All she knew was that she was about to spend some money and enjoy doing so.
“Neicey and Erica just walked in,” Maliya, one of Sen’s twin sisters, announced to her sister, Amiya, interrupting what was supposed to be a quick ‘see you later’ kiss she was sharing with her male friend.
Pulling herself from Soterio’s embrace, Amiya wiped the corners of her mouth and gave him a sly grin. “I’ll be out in a second.”
“You can head out now. I’ll catch you when you get off,” Soterio replied coolly.
Without giving him a verbal reply, Amiya made sure her appearance was up to par and walked ahead of him, out of their office. Owning their own clothing boutique had always been a dream of the twins. With the help from their big brother, they were able to open up shop six months after they graduated college with fashion design and business management degrees. Not only were they thankful for him, but for their supporters as well. Running a business wasn’t shit if you didn’t have customers.
“You have gotten so big!” Maliya squealed to Erica.
Amiya wanted to comment on the growth of her cousin-in law’s stomach as well, but the glare Neicey was giving her made her address her first.
“Hey, sis,” she said, leaning in for a hug, but Neicey stretched her hand out, stopping her. Soterio chuckled, and Neicey looked him up and down.
“And, who are you?” she asked.
“Oh, my goodness. Here she goes,” Amiya mumbled under her breath. Sen had rubbed off on Neicey in the worst way. She was about to bombard Soterio with nothing but questions.
“What’s up? I’m Soterio.”
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Neicey didn’t know him, but he knew who she was or whose woman she was, rather. But, he wouldn’t let that be known.
“Nah. I don’t think so. It was nice meeting you though.” With that, he gave Amiya a head nod and walked out of the store. He had just found out who her brother was, and he was sure Neicey knew who he was, even if she was faking like she didn’t.
And, she did. “Hmm. He was smart. That’s you?” she joked with Amiya, giving her a grin.
Amiya shook her head no. “Nope. These niggas are for everybody.”
“Not mine,” Erica spoke, with Neicey chiming in. “Right. You better lock his little fine ass down before someone else does. Don’t tell your brother I said this, but his older brother fine as hell.”
The girls snickered but nodded their head in agreeance. “You know Dyami personally?” Maliya asked.
Neicey shrugged. “Eh. I’ve accompanied Sen on a few dinner meetings and we’ve met. Don’t know him personally, though. Why?”
She gave Maliya the side eye, and Amiya did the same. “I was just asking. Sheesh.”
“I was about to say,” Amiya chuckled. “His baby mama is wild. I literally just got talked so bad to by her before getting here. She does not play about her man.”
“As she shouldn’t. Now, what is new on these shelves? Ya’ll caught me on a good day, and I’m feeling real generous.”
Walking over to a pair of cream, jean distressed botties, Neicey picked them up and nodded her head. “First item. I need these in a seven, please and thank you.”
“Ya’ll should have just shut the store down for her. She is about to work ya’ll’s nerve,” Erica told them with a chuckle but was dead serious. Neicey was a difficult shopper, no matter whose store she was in.
“I’m already knowing,” Amiya replied. “Do you need one of us to help you?”
Erica shook her head no and searched for the nearest chair to sit in. Neicey was right; she should have listened to Meechi about staying off her feet and she couldn’t wait to get home, so he could rub them. Grabbing a shirt from the clothes rack, Neicey assessed it before turning it around to show Erica. What she loved most about their store was the fact that everything was original and designed by the twins. You couldn’t find their pieces in any other store and, if someone had, the twins hadn’t caught wind of it yet.
“You like this?”
“For you, yes. What can I do with that?” Erica asked with a suck of her teeth. The shirt would definitely look like a cropped tee on her.
Neicey chuckled with a shrug. “It wasn’t for you anyway, fatty. You just sit there and look cute, while I do
my thang. Capisce?”
“Capisce these,” Erica laughed, making Neicey do the same. It was always good seeing her best friend smile because some days, a smirk didn’t even cross her face. Those were the days Erica encouraged Neicey to meet with Fallone. As her friend, there was only so much advice she could give her before it started to feel like she was beating a dead horse. It was simply a waste of her time if Neicey didn’t want change. She’d always listen, though. Erica would never deprive Neicey of the task she needed the most.
Chapter Five
“Bruh,” Sen huffed into the phone. “Grams had me at the damn store for over an hour the other day. An hour, my nigga. We walked down the same aisles about twice and, when I mentioned it, she told me to mind my business.”
Meechi chuckled at his cousin’s antics on the other end of the phone. He, too, had been a victim of grandma Olivia’s ‘quick’ store runs. She was forever feeding everyone in the neighborhood and was known to keep food at her house.
“I do it all the time. Shit, get used to it,” Meechi replied, as Erica walked into their bedroom.
With her due date approaching, Erica felt big as a house. She didn’t look it though. In fact, she was all belly. She carried well with Daiya as well, and Meechi couldn’t control the lustful stare and lick of his lips he sent her way. Not only did he appreciate her for sacrificing her body, but her heart as well. Never in his life did he think he would be engaged with two kids, not this soon at least.
In a red, lace negligee with the split down the middle, putting her large belly on display, Erica put on a sexy smirk and strutted her man’s way. She had been complaining about not feeling sexy, and Meechi shut all that shit down. Knowing exactly what he liked to see her in, he went out and purchased the ensemble she was rocking, and he was damn proud of himself.
“Aye, nigga!” Sen called out. Meechi was no longer engaging in the conversation.
“Let me call you back.”
“Nah, hoe. We ain’t got nothing else to talk about.” Sen disconnected the call and grabbed his blunt from the ash tray.