by Anise Eden
Kai flipped over the notepaper and continued reading. “He’s sorry for all the pain he caused your mother and you. He said that he knows words don’t count for much, but he had to say them anyway. And he wanted me to tell you that there was nothing you could have done to prevent his death.” Kai looked up, puzzled. “Do you know what that means?”
Ben cleared his throat. “I think so.”
“Okay, good,” Kai said, “because we need to talk about this last part.” He read the paper silently, then glared at Ben. “He says he thinks that Cate is wonderful, and he wants to congratulate you on your engagement!” Kai slapped the notepaper against his knee. “Do you mean to tell me that you are engaged, after all, and that you told your dead father before you told us?”
“Umm…” Ben looked at me, flummoxed.
“Uh, no,” I jumped in. “We’re not engaged, Kai. We told you that! But Vani said it’s written all over our auras, right?” I smiled brightly. “I’m supposedly wearing a neon sign saying ‘I’m getting married’—remember? Malcolm must have seen that. Or maybe he even saw us pretending to be engaged on the yacht. But we’re not engaged, I swear.”
Kai folded his arms across his chest and eyed us both. “You swear?”
“It’s true,” Ben said. “You and Pete are the only engaged couple in this room.”
Thankfully, Pete stepped in, draping his arm around Kai. “See? I told you.”
“Well.” Kai appeared somewhat placated. “I’d be overjoyed for the two of you if you were; that’s why I wanted to know. And of course I’d try to talk you into a double wedding.”
I tried to include Pete, Kai, and Ben in my epic eye roll. “Oh, for the love of—”
But Kai held up his hand to silence me, and continued. “But if you’re waiting, you’re waiting, and I guess there’s not much I can do about it but get back to wedding planning. Oh, and Cate,” he said excitedly, “that reminds me—dress fitting, this Wednesday at noon. Put it on your calendar.” Then he scanned my outfit with a scowl. “We’ll do some other shopping, too. I’m sorry, honey, but I just can’t let you live in tunic tops and yoga pants forever.”
“Got it,” I said, smiling. But I was conscious of how tired Pete looked, and I was anxious to talk to Ben about the message from his father. “For now, though, I think we should get our two patients home.”
Kai agreed, so we all headed out to the parking lot and said our good-byes. Ben and I had taken a taxi to the church, but Max had arranged for Ben’s Jaguar to be dropped off in the parking lot. Unsurprisingly, even though he wasn’t supposed to drive yet, Ben insisted on taking us back to my house himself.
Before he pulled the car out of its parking space, I laid my hand over Ben’s on the steering wheel. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shot me a rakish smile. “About the fact that our love is the key to activating the double kheir, and possibly saving the universe?”
I narrowed my eyes into slits. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Hmm.” Ben gazed at my hand. “You mean, what my father told Kai.”
Gently, I intertwined my fingers with his. “Yes.”
He rotated slightly in the seat so that he could look at me as he spoke. “It was good,” he began. “It was good to hear those things. But you have to understand, there’s a lot of pain there, a lot of history. It’s going to take quite a bit more than a few words.”
I squeezed his hand. “Of course. I totally understand.”
“He can’t be all bad, though,” Ben said with a glint in his eye. “After all, he was able to see how wonderful you are.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “And that’s all the talking I’m going to do for now. It’s time to get home.”
I didn’t object. I assumed Ben was anxious to get home because he was tired and sore, and needed some rest. But as soon as we left the lot, he began to drive like he was in a racecar time trial. Ben sped through the streets, careful as always over potholes and at intersections, but making up time where he could as though we were late for something incredibly important. His face showed pure focus and intense anticipation.
Maybe he’s excited to see Tank, I thought, smiling to myself. Tank had made himself perfectly at home in my house, and he was delighted every minute that he got to spend with Ben. He had warmed to me, as well, but it was clear that Ben was the alpha dog of Tank’s heart.
I grabbed the hand rest as Ben took a hard right, pealing down an alleyway that we sometimes took as a shortcut. “Good grief,” I said, “you really want to get home to Tank!”
Ben stared straight ahead and took a hard left at the end of the block. “Tank’s at my mother’s house.”
“What? Why?”
“I told her I thought they should get to know each other, so she agreed to dog-sit. Her dog walker picked him up this morning.”
“But—” My eyes widened as Ben tore down an empty boulevard. “Then why are you driving like a madman?”
“Because it’s day fourteen—the last day of your internship.”
Oh my god, I thought, he’s been keeping track. I’d kept count too, of course, but I figured that with everything that had been going on, Ben would’ve been too distracted—or at least that it wouldn’t matter, given the physical state he was in.
“This morning at the church, my mother and I spoke in the hallway, and we made it official: you’ve successfully completed your training, Cate. That means restrictions on all activities are hereby lifted.”
My heartbeat made its presence known so strongly that I was sure Ben could hear it.
“So…” I was too nervous to say anything serious. “You’re taking me to a steakhouse?”
One corner of his mouth rose. “Later, if you like. First, we’re going back to your place. A special maid service came in while we were at the church.”
“Oh? Special how?”
“They prepare bedrooms for special occasions—clean and straighten everything, put out fresh flowers, chill some champagne.”
“Oh!”
“They also put a few meals in the refrigerator so we don’t have to go out if we don’t want to. I believe our order included steak, now that you mention it.”
I was nothing short of astonished. Ben had been planning this. He had taken steps. True, I’d made it clear more than once that I wanted us to make love at the first possible opportunity. But now that the moment had arrived, I felt strangely unprepared.
He shot me a concerned look. “You don’t mind, do you? About the maid service?”
“How could I possibly mind?” It was the most thoughtful, romantic thing I’d ever heard of. But Ben had taken charge again, and I had the feeling of being swept along by a strong current—a really romantic, sexy current, but still out of my control.
We arrived at my house. He swung the Jaguar into a space along the curb and turned off the engine. “Don’t move,” he said as he got out of the car, came over to my side, and opened my door. Not even the remaining cuts and nasty bruises could hide the fierce hunger on his face. His eyes flashed gold as he held his hand out to me. “Allow me?”
The rough passion in his voice made my stomach flutter. I held out my hand and he helped me out of the car, then closed and locked the door. Before I knew what was happening, his body was pressed against mine, pinning my soft body against the hard metal of the Jaguar as his hands slid up the back of my neck, trapping his fingers in my braid. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my earlobe, whispering, “I love you, Cate, and I’m sick and tired of just telling you. I want to show you.”
Ben’s first declaration sent sweet tendrils of joy curling around my heart. His second made heat splash up my neck, and within seconds, my face was on fire. With my chest pressed up against his, I knew that Ben must have noticed my breath turning fast and shallow. “But your injuries…” I could only whisper. “You must still be so sore and tired.”
“I feel no pain right now, and I’m definitely not tired.”
Ben gave my neck a greedy, wet kiss. My knees went weak. His arms slid around my back, holding me up. “There’s only one question that matters here,” he growled into my ear. “And that is, may I take you inside?”
Sensual images flooded my mind. All of the things I’d fantasized about doing to Ben…all the things I craved for Ben to do to me…and now, with one word, they could all happen. My physical self was just about done waiting for the rest of me to make up its mind. Of their own accord, my eyes closed and my mouth opened. Ben didn’t hesitate. His lips were on mine in a fraction of a second, his hands cradling my head, the length of his body taunting mine as we stood pressed up against the car and each other.
The portal between us flew open, and the torrent of Ben’s feelings for me crashed through, threatening to drown me—and all I wanted was to drown in him. My heart keened with longing, and the more we kissed, the louder its cry became. I had to be closer to him, to be under his skin, to feel him under mine. With sharp urgency, I needed to be one with him, to coalesce as much as any two separate beings possibly could. I pulled my mouth away from his, gasping in air, and whispered, “Yes.”
I barely had the word out before Ben leaned down and wrapped his arm around the back of my knees. As he stood up, he hoisted me over his shoulder like a duffel bag. I yelped in surprise as his arm gripped my thighs, holding them against his chest like an iron bar, while the top half of my body hung upside-down behind him. He had lifted me without a single wince or grunt. As my worries about his injuries faded, I grasped at his shirt, trying to find something to hold onto—but I only succeeded in pulling it up, baring his back.
“At least wait until we get inside,” he said, chuckling. “What will the neighbors think?”
“They’ll think I’m being kidnapped by a Neanderthal!” I couldn’t help laughing. “What the heck are you doing, anyway? I can walk, you know!”
Ben marched up to the front door and deftly unlocked it with his free hand. “If Captain Abbott gets to carry you, then I certainly get to carry you.”
“Oh, for God’s sake! Don’t tell me you’re jealous of Captain Abbott!” I reached down and pinched him on the derriere—lightly, so he wouldn’t drop me.
Ben groaned. “You’re going to kill me, Cate. But I’ll die a happy man.”
“No dying allowed,” I declared, grabbing his belt for balance. “Not until after, anyway.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stepped inside and closed the door behind us.
But as we reached the foot of the stairs and began to climb, my anxiety kicked in. Ben was about to see me naked—all of me—and under my tunic and yoga pants, I was wearing an equally unenticing beige bra with purple polka-dot granny panties. Also, I hadn’t looked in a mirror in ages. My hair was probably a chaotic mess, and I wasn’t wearing any make up. I needed a few minutes to freshen up, but Ben didn’t seem to be in the mood to wait.
We’d almost reached the top stair when I began to stammer, “Wait, Ben, I have to—first, before we—I mean, I need—”
Ben stopped on the landing in front of my bedroom door. “What do you need, my future fiancée?”
“Um, remember those special skivvies I told you about? My fancy undergarments?”
“What?”
“I want to put those on.”
“Now?”
Good question, conceded the part of me that had been fantasizing for weeks about this moment. My conviction wavered. “Well, yes—and I want to do my hair.”
There was a brief, uncomprehending pause. “Cate, I hate to break it to you, but whatever you put on is just going to come right off, and your hair is going to get messed up.” With a note of concern, he asked, “Is that a problem?”
“No, not at all,” I reassured, suddenly feeling ridiculous. “I just wanted to get ready—”
“Hmm.” Ben shrugged his free shoulder. “Well, it sounds like a waste of effort to me, but if that’s what you want—” In preparation to lower me down, he reached up and gripped the sensitive juncture where my bottom and thigh meet. As he leaned forward, his hand slid in a scandalous direction, and his touch was like a flint sparking a wildfire. Flames engulfed me, licking every inch of my skin and burning off my insecurities. I gasped as my desire came rushing back.
“Wait!” I cried.
Ben stopped in mid-lean. “Yes?”
“I changed my mind,” I said breathlessly. “You’re right; it does sound like a lot of unnecessary work.”
“You’re sure?” He asked, sounding entertained by my torment.
“God, yes!” I half-snapped, half-moaned as I dug my fingernails into his T-shirt.
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” He straightened up, shifted me back in place, and grabbed the doorknob. “After all,” he said in a low rumble, “as your boss, getting you ready is my job. And as you know, I take my work very, very seriously.”
Resources
If you or someone you know needs help, you may find information and resources, including links to immediate help, on the following website from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:
www.mentalhealth.gov
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has trained crisis workers available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
If you are outside of the U.S., a database of international resources can be found on the website of the International Association for Suicide Prevention:
www.iasp.info
Acknowledgments
As the Healing Edge series draws to a close, I would like to thank my wonderful agent, Andrea Hurst, for her incredible support and mentorship, and for believing in and championing my writing. Deepest gratitude to my brilliant editors at Diversion Books, Randall Klein (All the Broken Places) and Eliza Kirby (All the Wounds in Shadow and All the Light There Is), for their masterful work in shaping this trilogy. I am so grateful to Laura Duane and Diversion Books for taking a chance on a new author’s offbeat stories, and to every member of the Diversion team who has worked so hard to bring this series to life. Much appreciation to Sarah Masterson Hally for her beautiful art direction, and to Nita Basu and Christine Saunders for their exceptional work in publicity and marketing.
I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of the many people in the writing and publishing communities who have assisted me along my creative journey. With respect to this series, special and heartfelt thanks to Rosanna Leo, Shannon Roan, my Online Coven, and the ladies of the Life Raft for their extraordinary friendship, help, and support.
Much gratitude to my parents, Amy, Keith, Carol, Nuala, and all of my dear friends and family members who have shared their feedback, subject matter expertise, and encouragement. Profound thanks as well to my first book’s first reader, Adrian, without whose extraordinary kindness and insights I may well have given up before I started.
And finally, to my husband. No words are sufficient to express how lucky I am to have you, and how grateful I am for the countless ways in which you bring joy to my days and breathe life into my hopes and dreams. You are my whole heart, and every expression of love on these pages is a tribute to you.
Thank you for reading All the Light There Is. For more of the Healing Edge series, look for All the Broken Places(Book One) and All the Wounds in Shadow (Book Two).
There are many ways to spread the word about books you love! If you enjoyed the Healing Edge series, please consider telling a friend, recommending to your library or book club, or posting a review on Amazon or your favorite bookish website.
You can connect with Anise Eden, sign up for her newsletter, and learn more about her work on her website: www.AniseEden.com
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