by Unknown
That’s weird.
I turned back around and opened the closet. Three times the amount of clothes burgeoned out of the small enclosure and most of the items were a variety of colors other than black.
I shrugged on a pair of jeans and a cute blue top. If I was dreaming, I wanted to at least look good. I finished getting ready and trudged downstairs towards the noises in the kitchen, wondering why I couldn’t sense anyone, and rounded the corner.
I froze midstride. A girl, roughly eight-years-old, hair color like mine in a pigtail, slurped milk from a spoon. The memories flooded me the instant I saw her. Rachel, my little sister.
“What are you looking at?” She stuck out her tongue.
I gaped, then recovered. Too real to be a dream.
“Nothing.” I took a seat opposite her. She slid over the Shredded Wheat and Cheerios boxes to make a partition between us.
I had a sister?
The décor, the draperies, the paint, and even the furniture had changed, all screaming a woman’s touch. Family pictures adorned the fridge—summers at the beach, camping at Lake Tahoe, Disneyland. As I soaked them in, each event came back to me. Mysteriously my brain contained memories of a life I hadn’t lived.
Was that what Nicholas felt like when he read the journal?
Nicholas.
My heart lurched, misfiring a beat. I’d watched him die. I’d watched everyone die. Everyone.
“’Morning, pumpkin,” Dad said and breezed past me with a brush against my shoulder.
I jumped up as if he were a ghost, knocking my chair to the floor.
“I didn’t mean to startle you.” He pulled the chair upright.
I gaped at him.
“You okay?” he studied me quizzically.
I wrapped my arms around his torso so fast, and inhaled his fresh, soapy scent like it was my life force. His thicker middle surprised me.
He hummed and hugged back just as hard. “That’s not a greeting you get everyday.”
The vision of his lifeless body on the ground tensed my arms and I gripped him harder. I never wanted to wake up. I couldn’t. He couldn’t die. I had to stay here forever.
After he began to twitch in impatience, I let go and allowed him to pour himself a cup of coffee. Mom walked in and sidled up next to him, vying for the pot. Somewhere in the middle of the playful tussle, they kissed. Rachel made an “eww” noise and excused herself from the table.
Admiration flowed through me at the sight of the love they felt for one another, something I’d imagined so many times and never thought I’d experience. But my heart ached to see Luke. My last memory of us clinging to one another right before the blast ripped our bodies apart competed with the day he left for college at San Diego State.
Tears welled in my eyes and I darted toward the hall. This was too real to be a dream. And if I woke up, cold and alone on the marble floor of the vampire lair, I couldn’t live after experiencing this. I touched the frame of a family photo of us in a field filled with wildflowers and gasped. It looked just like the one Mom had been buried in.
I shook my head back and forth super fast. Maybe I was in a coma. I couldn’t possibly have dreamt the last sixteen years to wake up here. Or was this a glimpse of my life if Mom had never been murdered by a vampire? I continued down the row, each photo revealed a new memory in my head. We’d come to Scotts Valley because of Dad’s new job at Alcon, a tech company. Mom, a writer, worked from home. Luke, of course, was at college. Grandma. Grandma moved here with her sister. They both were living together in a house by the beach.
I stopped at the next picture and froze in shock at of the sight of Aunt Jo and another man, not John. No. She married Rick, cool, fun Rick. And they had three kids, my cousins: Sophia, Piper, and Travis.
“Holy crap,” I said within earshot of my parents.
“Well, excuse us,” Dad said and moved past me, headed toward the garage.
Mom came around the corner, too, her hand fastened to her hip.
“You’re going to be late.” She handed me a homemade lunch. I almost fell over right then and there. “Don’t forget your keys.”
She placed the set in my hand and shooed me out the door. I squished across the lawn in a daze and turned the corner, expecting the Acura. I stopped in my tracks. The Quantum, alive and well, sat on the side of the road, waiting for me to start her up. I brushed my hand along her hood, as if welcoming an old friend.
Together, we bolted down the street and the gas gauge read full—not broken like before. I laughed, hard and long. And then it hit me; without the nuisance of empathy, today was going to be a cool day.
Before arriving at school, though illegal, I took out my phone and dialed Luke.
“Yeah,” he answered, groggy and half-awake.
“Luke, I—” My breath came out too fast, drying out the inside of my mouth. I choked.
“Jules? What’s wrong?” He instantly sounded more alert.
“No … I’m sorry to wake you. I just wanted to say hi.”
Luke paused. Then something on the other end rustled around. “Hi? You woke me up to say hi?”
“Well …” My cheeks burned. “How’s school going?”
A deep exhale, then another pause followed. “Good.”
“And your classes?”
“They’re all great.”
Luke’s voice, rich and clear, though totally annoyed, had no hint of unhappiness or pain. The reality that in this life we weren’t as close, tugged at my heart. Mom’s death had bonded us together like nothing else and without it, we’d carried on like typical siblings. But all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and squeeze tight. If only he could have known what had happened, what we used to share.
“Well, you sound busy, so … I’ll let you go,” I said.
“O-Okay,” he said with a yawn. “Call later next time.”
“Yeah, sorry. Bye.”
I hung up quickly and squeezed into a parking space in the lot and darted inside. Unable to help it, I knocked into people while I moved through the hall. Sam stood by her locker, beautiful, happy, and alive. I ran and ambushed her with the biggest hug, definitely bruising some ribs.
“What’s that about?” she asked as she pried me off her body. “Are you okay? You’re crying.”
I discreetly wiped away a tear. “I had a dream you died.”
“You what? Really? ” She shivered. “How did I die?”
“I can’t even tell you it’s so horrib—” I couldn’t finish. Katie had turned the corner sporting her sassy black hair and attitude up the wazoo.
The hug fest repeated itself and Katie had to physically remove me from her body.
“What is with you?”
I shrugged. “Super bad dream.”
“You need a psych ward.”
I encircled my friends’ arms and moved onto PE. The halls seemed the same, a few new faces here and there.
Justin turned the corner and I had to restrain myself. Our last interaction in vampire world involved a stake piercing through his heart. But there he stood, alive and well, a little less geeked out than before. He’d been the very first vamp I’d staked, defending myself in the warehouse.
“Hey,” I said with a smile.
His eyes grew and he mumbled a “hey” back before he rushed off to his class.
At lunch we all sat around our regular spot and everything felt right with the world.
“Where’s Phil?” I slyly asked Sam, my leg twitching to an unheard beat.
“Who?”
I nudged her in the side. “You know. Sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, amazing basketball player: Phil.”
“Is he a transfer?”
“Um, well…” He was supposed to be.
My heart sank. Were we never going to meet? Did something happen in this alter-universe and the D’Elia’s didn’t move here after all?
“He sounds pretty cute—” Sam lifted the corner of her lip. “But only if you guys aren’t hooking up or
something…”
“Oh, no. Aren’t you and Todd—?”
Sam let out a huff. “Didn’t I tell you? I dumped him. He’s such a selfish jerk.”
“Oh.”
I took another bite of the yummy tuna sandwich Mom made to keep from saying anything else totally stupid. The “I love you” Mom had written on my napkin peeked out of my bag. Though any other student at SVH would have been embarrassed, I refolded it neatly and put it in my binder. Who knew how long this alter-existence would last and I planned to treasure every moment of it.
“So, what kind of secret super power would you like, Jules?” Katie asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I sat up straight as the déjà vu punched across my brain. Hadn’t we had this conversation before? I blinked at her, when everything clicked. I’d gone back in time, to September, when I didn’t know vampires existed—the day I’d met Nicholas.
“Oh my gosh,” I whispered, catching my breath.
Maybe he was here, in this time continuum. He had to be. We’d see each other again. I wanted to jump out of my seat and race in my car over to the cliff so I could wait for him right now.
“What’s wrong with you today?” Katie watched me suspiciously while arching her pierced brow. “It’s just a question.”
“Right. Time travel,” I said without flinching.
“Oh,” she took a second, then shrugged. “That’s cool.”
As Cameron, Dina, Morgan, and Sam answered the same answers as before, I couldn’t concentrate. I had to get to the cliff right away. Now, in fact.
Unable to ditch school early, I raced home to change before I headed over to the cliff. I figured he wouldn’t show up until the evening anyway, since that’s when the stalking mishap took place. Did I need to recreate the event? Fall and call out for help?
Once I got home, I felt compelled to double-check Dad’s secret room in the garage. When I couldn’t find the button inside the drawer, I yanked them all out of the wall and accidentally cut my hand.
“Hey,” Dad barked. “What did the drawers ever do to you?”
“Oh.” My cheeks flushed as I swiveled around to meet his scowl.
I held up my bloodied hand.
He sucked in the air between his teeth. “Let me get you a towel.”
“Wait. Where’s the—you know.” I pointed to the drawer-less cabinet where the floor was supposed to open up to his secret room. “Where you study the—” I made the universal fang sign with my non-injured fingers.
“What are you talking about? Is there a black widow in there?”
I let out a huff. “I know, Dad. Don’t hide it from me,” I whispered.
“Know about what?” he whispered back.
He wrinkled up his brow pretty convincingly and waited. Without my powers, I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.
“Never mind,” I said and stormed out of the garage.
“You forgot to put back the drawers,” he called behind me.
My head reeled as I quickly changed and tried not to get blood on my outfit. The more I went through my day, the more I began to believe this wasn’t a dream, especially after being injured. And my cut hurt pretty badly. I wanted more than anything for this alter universe to be real, but Nicholas had to be a part of it. Had to.
If somehow we time traveled or jumped time continuums, could I be the only one who remembered? My “thank you” for saving the world and sacrificing everything so people could live free of vampires. If Nicholas wasn’t at the cliff right now, waiting for me, I’d spend each day remembering how the love of my life disintegrated through my hands, never to see him again. How would that be fair?
Yes, I was extremely thankful to have my mother back, and my family and friends. But to not be with Nicholas, too? He had to be there. I wouldn’t rest until I found him.
I ran out of the house without telling my parents. The Quantum, unused to me driving her like a maniac, took her time to get to the trail entrance, though I floored it. I parked and bolted down the railroad tie stairs. Breathless, I ran with all my might intending to leap into his arms once we saw one another. My feet skidded around the corner, a huge smile on my face, as I neared the cliff. The fallen log sat empty on the trail.
I caught my breath and shook off my disappointment. I took a seat, nervous and twitching for time to pass. Once the chill of evening settled down amongst the redwoods, I chastised myself for not bringing a coat. When the sun completely set, taking with it the light and my security, I tucked my arms around my legs and shivered.
The past played through my mind, yet again. I’d left work and run out of gas, then trudged through the forest around dinnertime. I checked my watch again…only eight o’clock. How long would I have to wait? And why didn’t I bring my cell phone? After twenty more minutes, I yelped out a little. “Help.”
Nothing.
“Help me,” I cried out a little louder.
Something moved in the brush, jolting my heart rate. I took off running, unable to stop myself. Once out of the trail and in my car, I panted for air. Thinking he’d show up like before was ludicrous unless…
I flipped the key and sped towards Nicholas’ house. I knew where he lived. What was I thinking waiting outside in the dark?
Out front stood a for-sale sign.
I bounced my fist against the steering wheel. “No fair!”
My head fell back and the tears dropped down my cheeks. Who was I kidding?
Both parents greeted me at the door when I returned.
“Julia,” Mom said in exasperation. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you. You missed dinner.”
“Sorry.” My eyes hit the wood floor. How could I even begin to tell them what I suffered from?
“What’s wrong? This morning you cried and Dad said you’d behaved weird in the garage and then you left without telling us where you were going and didn’t answer your phone. I was worried. This isn’t like you.”
“And disassembled my workbench, too,” Dad added.
I circled my foot around on the floor, noting the dirt from the trail had stuck to the sides. “I know. I had a crazy dream and it’s just haunting me. I’m sorry.”
“Where did you go?” Dad asked.
“For a drive.”
Mom tilted her head and looked at me softly. “Sweetie, if you are struggling with something, you can tell us. We can help.”
“I know. Really, it’s nothing to worry about.” I forced a smile. “It was just a really horrible dream.”
Mom pulled her lips into a line, the worry still evident. “Well, I’ve saved you a plate.”
My stomach lurched, rejecting the idea of food. All I could think about was going back to the cliff and waiting tomorrow. Maybe Nicholas would miraculously show up. I’d wait everyday if I had to.
After dinner, I found my phone on my bed—tons of missed calls from my parents and a few texts from Sam and Katie. Out of curiosity, I flipped through my contacts. Nicholas didn’t happen to be one.
On a whim, I texted a < to his number. Maybe he had a phone. Maybe he had the same number. Maybe he didn’t know where to find me. Maybe, if he didn’t know me, we could accidentally meet in this life somewhere else. Maybe I could go to L.A. to Preston’s house and find him.
The phone vibrated with a return text. My pulse zipped through my veins.
- Who is this?
My fingers shook as I texted back.
- It’s Julia. Nicholas?
The seconds ticked by, dragging the wait out way too long.
Please be him… please, please, please.
- You’ve got the wrong number.
My chest caved and I burst into tears again. Nicholas couldn’t possibly have existed in this universe. His father, a thousand-year-old, full-blooded vampire, would have needed to hook up with Alora present day in order for Nicholas to be born during my lifetime. Completely impossible.
I quickly looked between the mattress and box spring for the journal. Nothing.
With a soft moan, I curled up and clutched my blankets, hoping tomorrow I’d wake up and forget it all happened. The old me would fade away and I’d forget the love of my life before it tore my heart in two.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The next day came. I pried open my puffy eyes to look at the same stars on the ceiling, the same pajamas on my body, the same memories stuck in my head, grieving over the same guy. I curled up and moaned. Though I’d longed my entire life to be with my mother, the knowledge Nicholas might not be in this existence bludgeoned my insides to smithereens.
Rachel hogged the bathroom most of the morning and breakfast didn’t sit right in my stomach. All I wanted was to hurry through my day so I could wait again at the cliff. But when I drove away from the house, the wheel didn’t head to school. There wasn’t anywhere else in the world I’d rather be.
With my hot coffee heating my hands, I padded down the trail, noting the same familiar landmarks. I mindlessly turned the corner, ready to sit on my fallen log when I plowed straight into someone.
“Excuse me,” I said, unable to tear my eyes away.
A boy with piercing blue eyes, light brown hair, and a chiseled chin stared back at me, assaulting me with his beauty.
“Julia?” he whispered as if speaking my name would change that fact.
My tongue lulled around in my mouth, impeding my voice. I crinkled up my brow. “Do I know you?”
He stared for a moment before disappointment crossed his face. Then he hung his head and looked away.
“Never mind” he said softly and moved past me, down the trail I’d just walked on.
“Wait,” I called out. Something about his gait and the way he held himself was familiar. “I’m serious. Do I know you?”
He turned, pain pressing into his face. “No. I don’t think so.”
“But you know my name. How?”
With a tuck of his hands in his pockets, he pushed his foot against the dirt. “Lucky guess.”
I bit my lip. A lucky guess? No. Something inside insisted I not to let him go until he told me. “What’s your name?”