“It’s what I want.”
“Are you sure?”
“I was sure before I fell. I just didn’t get a chance to tell you.” She cradled his beloved face. “I love you, Thomas Warner. I’ve loved you forever.”
She was suddenly in his arms, being held tightly, being kissed deeply. And she knew that he was the only part of Texas that she’d ever need.
Chapter 19
“T hey say he fell in love with her when they were children in Texas.”
“I’ve heard that he wrote her a letter every single day, of every year that they were separated.”
“I daresay I find that incredibly romantic.”
“Have you seen the way he looks at her? He can scarcely take his eyes off her.”
“I would love to have a gentleman look at me with that same sort of intensity.”
“He doesn’t look at her as though he’s a gentleman. He fairly looks at her as though he’s entertaining barbaric thoughts.”
“How fortunate for me,” Lauren said.
The three ladies spun around, their eyes wide, their mouths agape. It was odd seeing them without Lady Blythe, but her parents had ushered her off to the country in shame and embarrassment for her inappropriate behavior at the Ravenleigh ball. Lauren actually felt rather sorry for the lady, as it was unlikely she would garner any gentleman’s fancy. Lauren had even sent her a bouquet of flowers with the sentiment, “No hard feelings.”
She could afford to be generous in her forgiveness. After all, without Lady Blythe’s conduct, Lauren might never have learned the true words that had been written in Tom’s letters, might never have known how strong and constant Tom’s love had remained over the years.
“Lady Sachse, we didn’t hear you approach,” Lady Cassandra said. “We meant no insult to you, dear friend, but one can’t help but notice…well, that your husband looks as though he can’t wait for the wedding breakfast to be over so that he can get on with the wedding trip.”
Lauren smiled, not bothering to hide her anticipation. “Again, how fortunate for me.”
Her wedding to Tom had been the most-talked-about event of the Season. Lauren didn’t think there had been a vacant seat in the church, nor a spot of grass in the churchyard that wasn’t being stood on by someone wanting to catch a glimpse of the newly wedded couple. Her half sisters had strewn flower petals from the church to the carriage that had brought Lauren and Tom to her parents’ home. The wedding breakfast had followed. After all the toasts to their health, Lauren’s sisters had led her away so she could change into her departure dress. She’d only just returned to the drawing room, where she planned to begin saying her good-byes. But the gossipmongers had caught her attention. She held them no ill will either. It was the happiest day of her life, and she wanted everyone to be as filled with joy as she.
“Where are you going for your marriage trip?” Lady Anne asked.
“We’re going to Texas for a few months.” Tom’s wedding gift to her, as though she needed anything at all from him.
“Oh, how delightful,” Lady Priscilla said.
“We shall no doubt spend a good deal of our time there, since my husband owns a ranch and several other businesses. You must visit sometime. I’ll introduce you to some cowboys.”
“Oh, my word. Would you really? That would be lovely,” Lady Cassandra murmured, rather like a contented cat.
“If you ladies will excuse me, I think my husband and I are going to begin the preparations for our departure. I do thank you for coming to the wedding and the breakfast. I have always treasured your friendship.” She leaned in, they leaned in. “I think he looks at me as though he intends to ravish me quite unmercifully.”
“Indeed he does,” Lady Cassandra said breathlessly.
Smiling, Lauren winked at them. “Ladies, I can hardly wait.”
They were still gasping and fanning themselves as she went to join her husband, where he was standing on the other side of the room talking with her parents. Her mother was actually smiling broadly and laughing. It seemed that she and Tom had somehow managed to put aside their differences. She wasn’t quite sure what all had transpired within her bedchamber while she’d slept on for three days, but obviously her mother had gained an appreciation for Tom during that time.
It was a little strange, but now that the moment had finally arrived, Lauren wasn’t quite certain that she was ready to leave after all. Tom put his arm around her, drawing her up against his side. “Are you all right, darlin’?”
She nodded, surprised by the hoarseness of her voice when she said, “I’m just not quite ready to leave, although I know we must.”
“Lauren, it’s your wedding. If you want to stay here all day, that’s what we’ll do.”
“You’re going to spoil me, Tom, letting me do what ever I want.”
He suddenly looked incredibly serious. “That’s my plan, darlin’.”
Stretching up on the tips of her toes, she kissed his cheek. “I like your plan.” She squeezed his arm. “I’m ready.”
She turned to her mother. “Can you believe it? I’m going home tomorrow.”
Her mother smiled sadly, caressed Lauren’s cheek. “I’m hoping you’ll discover that home isn’t a place. It’s wherever your heart happens to be.” She shifted her gaze to Tom, then back to Lauren. “I thought you were too young to really leave your heart in Texas, and I’m so sorry—”
“Mama.” Lauren touched her gloved hand to her mother’s lips and shook her head. “All of that is in the past. I’m happier today than I’ve ever been. And I already know that you’re right. Whether my home is in Texas or England will be determined by whether or not Tom is beside me.”
“Are you ever going to leave?” Amy asked.
Lauren looked over her shoulder to see her sisters standing there, wondering when they’d sneaked up on her.
“Yes, I am.”
“Won’t you miss it all?” Amy asked. “The balls, parties—”
“We’ll be back,” Lauren assured her. “Before next Season. Now that I’m married, it’s Samantha’s turn.”
She glanced over at Samantha, but her sister hardly reacted to her declaration.
“I think she already has someone,” Amy said.
“And I think the article on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper recounting this affair is going to mention how unfashionably long it took the bride to say adieu,” Samantha said.
Following a round of hugs and additional best wishes, Lauren found herself fighting to hold back her tears. She was certain that they were tears of happiness rather than sadness. This was what she wanted, what she’d always wanted. She couldn’t be sad, even though the tightness in her chest felt a good deal like sorrow.
Then she turned to face her mother, and she knew the tears gathering in her mother’s eyes were tears of unhappiness.
“I always only wanted what was best for you,” her mother said.
Lauren hugged her tightly. “I know, Mama.”
“Who would have thought what was best for you would have turned out to be a cowboy?”
Laughing, Lauren hugged her mother more tightly, before stepping back. “A cowboy and a lord. I’m so glad that I didn’t have to choose between them. I love you, Mama, and I’m going to miss you.”
“Lauren, darlin’, we probably do need to be going. Folks seem to be getting restless,” Tom said.
Lauren spun around, with one more good-bye to give. She wound her arms around her stepfather’s neck. “Thank you for the life you gave me.”
“It has always been my plea sure.”
“Don’t let Samantha get married before I get back.”
He laughed. “As though I can stop any of my daughters from doing what they set their minds to doing.” He touched her cheek. “And you are my daughter, not of my blood, but of my heart.”
Lauren felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, Tom pressing his handkerchief into her hand. “I love you, Papa.”
She hugged him
one more time, hugged her mother, and her sisters. Guests began crowding around, to offer final best wishes. She placed her hand on Tom’s arm, allowed him to lead her through the throng. So many smiling faces, so many people offering her warm wishes.
It was an odd thing as she was leaving, at long last to realize that she belonged.
They arrived at Tom’s ancestral home by late afternoon. While Lauren’s things were moved into the house and arranged in her bedchamber, she and Tom walked over the grounds discussing the plans for their wedding trip. The next day they would leave for Liverpool, where they could board the steamship that would take them to Texas. For only a few months. In the event she became pregnant with the Sachse heir, Tom wanted the boy born in England, and based upon how he planned for them to spend most of their time, Lauren couldn’t help but believe that she would indeed be presenting him with an heir incredibly soon. She knew that nothing would please her more.
Following dinner, they retired to their respective bedchambers, and Lauren couldn’t help but feel a slight fluttering in her stomach at the prospect of her first night with Tom as his wife. She knew what to expect and as she’d told the ladies, she could hardly wait.
Sitting at the vanity in her bedchamber, having dismissed Molly after she helped Lauren prepare her for bed, Lauren brushed her hair, remembering the ladies talking that first afternoon about how the American-raised lord wouldn’t have an appreciation of his heritage. Lauren was learning that he had an incredible appreciation for tradition, whether it involved that to which he’d been born or that to which he’d been raised. He was a complex man, a combination of all he’d experienced, of all he’d ever lost, and all he’d regained. A man who would never take any aspect of his life for granted. She loved him for it, and for so much more. For being the man he was, a man who had never given up on their love. It humbled her at times to know that he’d continued to write faithfully long after she’d stopped. She only hoped that she’d always prove deserving of him.
Setting her brush aside, she reached out and wrapped her hands around her jewelry box, set upon the vanity by Molly earlier when she’d unpacked Lauren’s possessions. She placed the box on her lap. Very slowly she opened the gleaming wooden box and smiled at the contents nestled within. Perhaps she’d had faith as well, but had chosen to express it in a different way.
Looking up, she saw Tom, wearing a black silk dressing gown, standing behind her, reflected in the mirror. The nightgown she wore was nothing at all like the ones she’d worn when she’d clambered out of windows. This one was a diaphanous material that revealed much more than it covered, and, based upon the heat in Tom’s eyes, she wouldn’t be wearing it for long.
“What have you got there?” he asked, the raspy rumble of his voice indicating the depth of her affect on him, causing her toes to curl into the thick carpet at her feet.
Crooking her forefinger, she wiggled it. “Come here.”
He knelt beside her, his gaze roaming over her face as though he was having a difficult time believing she was actually with him now, as though everything he’d ever wished for were in danger of disappearing. As though he feared that their time together now would be as temporary or short-lived as everything else in his life.
He’d begun his life here and been taken from it. He’d had a life in New York that hadn’t lasted. A life in Arkansas that while short had still been too long. Finally, a life in Texas with a girl who had left him. Then a ranch that he’d had to leave behind in order to return to what he’d never known he owned. His entire life he’d been lost, and she desperately wanted him to know that what they had now would last forever. That she would never leave him. That they would never again become lost.
She combed her fingers up into his thick hair. “I love you, Thomas Warner. I’ve always loved you.”
She turned the jewelry box so he could see inside. She watched as the corner of his mouth hitched up.
“Is that what I think it is?” he asked. He lifted his gaze to hers. “You said—”
“I didn’t say I didn’t have it. I simply asked where you thought I would find one in this country.”
He reached into the box, removed the quarter, and laid it in the palm of his hand. It seemed so small and insignificant, and yet it meant so much. “Is it the one I gave you?” he asked.
“Of course.” Out of the box she lifted the worn blue hair ribbon on which it had been nestled. “And I kept this, too.”
Grinning, he held the quarter between his thumb and forefinger. “But this you could have given back to me. At any time, you could have canceled the debt.”
Smiling warmly, she snatched the coin from him and arched a brow. “I could have, but what woman in her right mind would choose to give you a quarter when she could have you unbutton her bodice?”
The deep rumble of his laughter echoed around them as she dropped the ribbon and coin back into her jewelry box and set it aside on the vanity. Tom unfolded his strong, lean, tall body and lifted her into his arms.
She wound her arms around his neck. “You’re what I’ve always wanted, Tom. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that you’re the part of Texas that I always missed. Not the land or the creeks or the smells. Not even the stars at night. Only you.”
He carried her over to the bed, set her feet on the floor beside it. Then he did the most remarkable unexpected thing. He sat at the foot of the bed, leaned back against the thick post, crossed his arms over his chest, and hitched up a corner of his mouth. “Unbutton your nightgown.”
She stared at him. “Tom, I not only paid the debt and unbuttoned a bodice, but I’ve proven I can give you back the coin—”
“Do it not because of any debt, but because it brings me so much plea sure to watch you, to watch the way the blush creeps along your skin, the way your eyes darken with each button loosened, the way your lips part, and your breath begins to shorten with the anticipation of revealing yourself to me, of me finally touching you.”
She swallowed hard. “Did you want to extinguish the lights?”
Both corners of his mouth hitched up. “No.”
“Tom—”
“Lauren, do you know that the sight of you takes my breath away?” he asked quietly, solemnly. “It always has.”
Reaching up, she loosened a button.
“You make me tremble deep down inside where a man has no business trembling.”
She released another button.
“You terrify me because I think if you ever leave me—”
“I won’t, Tom. I’ll never leave you.”
Button. Button. Button.
“Tom, did you know the sight of you takes my breath away? It always has.”
Button. Button.
She watched with satisfaction as he slowly came to his feet, untied the sash on his robe, and shrugged out of it, the silk shimmering down his body to land on the floor.
Button. Button.
She eased her nightgown off her shoulders, felt it slide down her body, to pool at her feet. He took a long sigh as appreciation ignited his eyes.
“I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of looking at you,” he said.
“I know I’ll never grow tired of looking at you.”
“You’re my wife, Lauren.”
She nodded, hardly knowing what to say, as he was taking far more time to get her into the bed than she’d expected. Was this another one of his trials, his tests, to prove he had more willpower than she did?
Obviously not. Obviously it was simply a matter of him relishing the moment. He stepped forward, cupped her face between his hands. “You can’t begin to imagine how much I dreamed of this. That a time would come when every night would be spent with you. I never want another night in my life without you. I never want another day when I can’t see you anytime that I want. From this moment on, nothing will come between us. From this moment on, we will be together forever. I give you my word on that.”
“Are we going to shake on it?” she asked.
“Darlin’, you know how I close a deal with a lady.”
“Then get to it, cowboy.”
His mouth swooped down to blanket hers, one arm snaking around to draw her up close until they were touching, thigh to thigh, breast to chest, the passion stirred to life, the heat consuming, beginning as a spark and igniting into a full-fledged flame. His mouth, hot and wet, left hers to journey along her throat, branding a trail that she thought would be visible for days to come. His mouth went lower, until his face was buried between her breasts, and his tongue was lapping at the inside swell of one and then the other, slowly, slowly, his breath fanning her flesh.
She heard herself whimper as her head fell back and her fingers dug into his shoulders. Purchase, she needed purchase before she executed a perfect swoon.
As though aware of her thoughts, he lifted her into his arms and laid her on the bed before stretching out over her, his hips between her thighs. Dear Lord, but she loved the weight of him, the sturdiness, the rippling muscles and hardness that was such a part of him. She wondered how different he might have been if he’d not traveled the road away from England…and just as quickly she realized that it didn’t matter. They’d both gone on a journey that had brought them to this destination, this moment, this destiny.
If she’d never come here, she’d have been the awkward wife of an English lord. Instead, she possessed the confidence and wherewithal to stand with poise and self-assurance at his side. All of the long-ago lessons, no longer seemed as tedious or pointless or resented. They’d prepared her for his arrival long before either of them knew the incredible life that awaited them together.
He glided his hand along her side, down her hip, and back up, cradling her breast, molding and shaping it, lifting it in order to offer her hardened nipple to his questing mouth. She moaned low as desire stampeded through her, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head to the tips of her fingers. Stretching languidly, she stroked his calves with the soles of her feet and took delight in the feel of the coarse hair that covered his legs.
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