by Jordan Ford
Kade snaps his eyes shut and tips his head to the sky. “Please, Jules, don’t ask me to tell you this stuff! It’s not your business!”
I shrink away from his bark, the sound reminding me of Dad brewing for an explosion.
But then Kade opens his eyes and looks at me again.
I’m safe. He’s not going to hurt me. But he’s not going to trust me either…and that hurts in a different way.
I’ve let him into my life. Made myself vulnerable in front of him.
I’m starting to need him and he won’t let me in.
I want to explain all this in a calm voice that he’ll understand, but I can’t. If I open my mouth right now I’m going to start crying.
“Take me to work,” I manage to squeak before dipping my head and walking to the truck.
We don’t say much as we drive to the bar. My insides are humming. I’m trying to contain everything I’m feeling but all I want to do is shout, cry and hit something. I’m angry, sad, scared.
I have a baby growing in my belly.
My future is so uncertain.
I need an anchor.
I want it to be Kade.
But he doesn’t trust me…so how can I trust him?
The engine is loud as we rumble along, I focus on the rhythmic sound, but it just makes me think of the baby’s heartbeat and suddenly I’m fighting tears all over again.
Kade pulls the truck to a stop beneath the Skate Home sign. He leaves the engine running, which tells me he’s not coming in. Reminding me he has secrets he’s not willing to share.
Curiosity’s a bitch.
I wish I didn’t want to know about his mysterious friends and why they’re in hiding.
I reach for the handle and then pause, looking back to gaze at those blue eyes I love so much. They look kind of sad…resigned, even.
He’s not saying anything. Is he waiting for me to thank him for taking me to the hospital? I don’t know why I can’t form those two simple words—thank you. It feels too polite somehow, like he’s done me this huge favor instead of wanting to be with me.
But that’s it, right?
He did do me a huge favor. He didn’t have to be there.
It doesn’t matter how good those technician’s assumptions were. Kade is not the father of this baby. And I’m not the mother. Not really.
My throat swells. It hurts to swallow.
“I’ll see you for dinner tonight,” he mumbles, staring out the windshield.
I study his profile—so handsome. So perfect.
I can’t speak.
Will he really come for dinner, or is that just another lie?
I can’t tell.
Pulling in a ragged breath, I muster up a rare piece of assertion. “Unless you’re willing to tell me the truth, don’t bother.”
I shoulder the door open and slip to the ground, slamming the door behind me.
I think I hear Kade calling out something, but it’s muffled by the slamming door. I don’t look back. I can’t. I have to walk forward. Away.
The pickup rumbles around to the back of the parking lot so Kade can return it and get his motorcycle. I’ll no doubt hear the roar of the engine as he speeds away. I don’t want to think about what he’ll get up to, but I can’t ignore that small thread of doubt that’s cutting off my air supply.
He’s not coming back for dinner.
Am I ever going to see him again?
I’m not even sure if I should.
#22:
If I Care About Her…
Kade
Jules is pissed off with me.
I shouldn’t care.
Normally if someone’s annoyed, I shrug and turn away.
But this is Jules.
I want to tell her the truth. I should be able to trust her with it. She knows my first name.
If she Googles “Kade” I wonder what she’ll find.
But she won’t. That’s not her style. She’s waiting for me to tell her. She wants me to prove that I trust her.
I scowl at the traffic light as I wait for it to turn green.
The thing is, I do trust her!
I just don’t want her caught up in this shit.
Riley’s warning is bugging me.
What if he’s right? What if this isn’t over yet?
Am I putting Jules and her unborn kid in danger?
I shouldn’t be around her. If I care about her, I should leave town right now.
My motel street is up ahead on the left. It’d take me less than ten minutes to grab my money and split. But as soon as the light turns green, I take off and zoom right past the street. I keep going, weaving through Reno as I try to decide what to do.
I’m due at Skate Home for dinner. I told Jules I’d be there.
But then she gave me that ultimatum.
Which means I shouldn’t go. She’s safe and healthy. So’s the baby.
I shake my head, still kind of awestruck over seeing the ultrasound. Watching her watch the screen…damn, she was so freaking beautiful, her face a sea of love and sadness. Giving up the baby’s going to hurt. Her heart’s too big, too sweet and all-encompassing. She’ll cry when the baby’s taken away. She’ll mourn like the baby’s died.
It kind of kills me to think about it.
But Keith and Cassidy can take care of her. They’ll bolster her spirits. And eventually she’ll meet a guy who can love her, look after her, give her a normal life…a family.
I grimace, surprised by the jealous rage ripping through me.
“Shut up, you jackass,” I mutter. Like I could ever be that guy. She’s better off without me. She can do so much better than my sorry ass.
The thought is granite in my stomach—heavy and depressing.
“I don’t want to go.” I pull the bike to the side of the road. The idling engine thrums beneath me as I stare ahead. The sky is dark now, the sun forced into early retirement by the impending storm. I can’t see anything but dimly lit clouds.
“You’re a selfish bastard,” I mutter.
Maybe so, but I just can’t do it.
I don’t want Jules falling for someone else. Even if he is a better man.
I want to be the guy who Jules comes to when she’s sad. I want to hold her, kiss her, make her laugh. I want to make her fall in love with me.
I close my eyes with a heavy sigh. “You have to tell her the truth.”
Mumbling a string of curses, I spin the bike around and head back. A light patter of rain is starting to fall. I turn on my headlight and ride to my motel. If I’m going to do this, then I may as well shower up and smell good.
By the time I park my bike, droplets are running down my face. I push the hair out of my eyes and run for shelter.
As I unlock my door, the icy rain trickles down my collar and a shiver ripples through me. My shower is going to be freaking scalding if I can have my way. Flicking the door closed, I spin around and nearly jump out of my skin.
“What the f—!”
“Hello, Mr. Kingsley.”
I don’t know who the hell this guy is but my entire body tenses in warning. He’s sitting in the armchair by the window, his broad shoulders making the chair look small and child-like. When he rises, I find my gaze traveling up higher than I’m comfortable with. I’m used to being the tall one. This guy’s probably got two inches on me…and I don’t like it.
His fancy dark suit and shiny shoes. His square face and slicked back hair.
Nothing but trouble.
Opening his jacket, he pulls out a leather pouch and shows me his ID. “Agent Rybeck.”
My stomach sinks. I recognize that name.
“You probably don’t know who I—”
“Yeah, I do. You’re the one who failed to protect your witness.”
His eyes flash, his expression hardening into a frown that’s supposed to scare me. I rise up to it, pulling back my shoulders and not breaking eye contact. “What do you want?”
“My witness.”
&n
bsp; “The case is over. You don’t need her anymore.”
He licks his bottom lip and lets out this breathy snicker. “In my entire career I’ve never lost a witness. I won’t lose this one either. Now cases can always be re-opened. Justice can always be served.”
I work my jaw to the side. “Well, that would be her decision…if she’s willing to trust you. Which I’m pretty sure she isn’t.”
His eyes narrow. His glare is dark and dangerous. “Tell me where she is.”
“Whose authority are you here on? How’d you even find me?”
Adjusting to my subject change, Rybeck reaches into his jacket pocket again. His smile is bordering on smug and it makes me uneasy. This time he pulls out a sheet of paper. Opening it wide, he hands it over to show me a picture of myself—decked out in hockey gear and with a goofy smile on my face.
Dammit. I thought my dark hair would be enough…but obviously not.
The headline reads: Triple Deke Wins the Game!
“Sounds like the Flyers’ losing streak is over,” he mocks. “People in this place sure love talking about their new star hockey player.”
Shit. I didn’t even think about a story being published. I scan the page, quickly working out the article has been printed off the Net. A small, independent online paper.
“How the hell did you see this?”
He raises his eyebrows and cocks his head. “Family weddings. Hate the damn things. Couldn’t get out of this one though, so I dragged my ass to Reno to watch my sister and her loser boyfriend finally tie the knot. You can imagine my sheer delight when his daughter starts jabbering on about the hot new hockey player in the Reno social league. Apparently it’s the only reason she and her friends go to the games.”
My heart sinks into my burning stomach while my cheeks flame red.
He points at the paper in my hand. “This was pinned to her wall. When I noticed it, she went on to show me all the pictures on her phone. Isn’t that funny?” His laughter is grating. “I didn’t want to come to this thing in the first place, but damn, if it hasn’t served me well. Some would call it fate.” His eyes twinkle and I want to punch that smirk down his throat.
The only person in my life who’s allowed to talk about fate is Trey.
I glare at the marshal, my upper lip curling as I resist the urge to growl.
Craning his neck, he flicks his jacket back and perches his hands on his hips. “Now, star player, where’s my witness?”
“She’s not yours.” I crumple the paper in my hand, squishing it into a ball. Panic is quickening my pulse, warning me it’s about to set in big time. I can’t let this guy take me. I can’t let him find Ana!
“Get out,” I seethe, my voice low and threatening.
“I don’t think so, kid. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what I need to know.”
“I’m not telling you shit!”
“You really want to play this game? I could have you arrested for auto theft, and if you want to be a stubborn ass about it, there’s still a big question mark over a couple of dead bodies found at Dynamis Shipping Yard.”
I swallow, edging away from him. “Aren’t you supposed to be all about the justice?”
“I’m all about doing my job. And right now, my job is to find my witness and see a guilty man convicted of murder!”
“You can’t re-open the case. He’s been acquitted!”
“Christiana will help me find something else. Marco Sorrentino is as guilty as sin. She grew up with him. She can help me nail him to the wall.”
“So, you’re just going to use her.”
“I’m going to fight to put a guilty man behind bars. I want justice!”
“But you’re willing to send an innocent kid to jail along the way. That’s bullshit!”
“You’re not innocent. You stole a 1987 Chevrolet Silverado. It was reported missing from the Miles to Go gas station the night you left Eton.”
“It was practically dead! I’m surprised the owner even bothered to report it!”
Rybeck’s eyes narrow, a slow smirk rising on his lips. “So you admit to the theft.”
I slam my teeth together and look away from him, my nostrils flaring as desperation pounds through me. Shit. Shit. Shit!
How the hell am I supposed to get out of this?
Agent Rybeck closes his eyes with a heavy sigh. “I’m not here to stir up a bunch of trouble. Just tell me where she is and I’ll leave you alone.”
“Forget it.” I shake my head. “How do we know you’re not working for the Sorrentinos or the Candellas?”
“What?” Rybeck’s expression buckles with rage.
I refuse to be intimidated by it. This jackass could have gotten Ana killed. “You said she was safe in that school.”
He leans forward with an ominous snarl. “She was supposed to be.”
I glare back, trying to look for signs of guilt or betrayal. He’s a damn hard read.
My eyebrows wrinkle, no doubt revealing my uncertainty.
Stepping back, Rybeck pulls a pair of cuffs from his pocket. “Kade, I’m not messing around. If you don’t cooperate, I’m arresting you.”
The room goes still for a thick, heavy moment as we stare at each other. My mind is running overtime. There are a few ways I could play this, but I can only think of one.
I bolt for the door.
Rybeck’s after me in a flash, yanking my jacket and throwing me back against the wall.
Pain rips through my shoulder but I shrug it off, throwing a fist at his face. He blocks it and brings me to my knees. A sharp agony fires through my ribcage, my still healing body warning me to take it easy. But like hell I’m letting this bastard cuff me.
Fighting like a wildcat, I lash out again, grunting as I land a punch to his abdomen and then a quick uppercut to his chin. He stumbles back, trips over the corner of the bed, and lands on his ass. I snatch the lamp while he rolls over and before he can reach for his gun, I smash the lamp against the back of his head.
He lurches forward with a groggy moan.
Oh, fuck. I’ve done it now.
Time to get the hell out of here.
Leaping over the bed, I scramble for the money hidden in the back of the closet and then sprint out the door. The rain is coming down in pelting sheets now but I don’t have time to care.
I rub it out of my eyes, jump on my bike, and fire up the engine before Rybeck comes to and starts chasing me. Swerving out of the parking lot, I hit the road and gun it for the highway.
I have to get out of here.
Weaving through the traffic, I speed and duck around cars. Jules’s sweet face torments me as I go.
But if I care about her like I think I do, I have to leave.
I can’t expect her to get caught up in all this.
It hurts like a knife through my chest, but when I pull up to the road that will take me to Skate Home, I force my bike in the opposite direction.
#23:
Worth the Drive
Julienne
I feel sick.
I’m not sure why.
Yes, I am.
Kade never showed. I’ve been checking the restaurant all night. The kitchen’s now closed, and the last of the drinkers are leaving. We’ll be locking up soon…and still he hasn’t come.
I’ll be walking home alone…because he can’t trust me with the truth.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is right. I shouldn’t need or want a liar.
“But I do,” I whisper, fighting tears as I wipe down the countertops.
The door swings open and I flinch.
“Sorry.” Everett snickers. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I give him a polite smile. He only started working here a couple of days ago, and I’m too tired to put in an effort.
He grins and points over his shoulder. “So, ah, there’s a guy here who just ordered a slice of ambrosia pie.”
My eyes pop wide, hope bursting in my chest like a sunbeam. Kade’s here
! It’s impossible to hide my joy.
The new waiter laughs. “I told him the kitchen was closed and we were locking up soon, but he assured me you’d want to serve him up a slice.”
I giggle and run to the fridge. “You bet I do.”
I should be mad at Kade for making me wait so long but I’m too relieved he’s here to feel anything but giddy excitement. So we had a little fight. He’s here. He’s going to walk me home. Maybe he’s going to tell me the truth. After that there’ll be nothing standing between us. Maybe we can become more than friends.
An electric thrill fires through my body.
I shouldn’t go there. Not yet, but I can’t help it.
Kade’s gorgeous, and tall, and funny. I love being with him, talking to him. I love the strength of his arms…his hands. I want them around me, on me, holding me.
I bustle back into the kitchen with the pie tray and start slicing two pieces—a large one for him and a small one for me.
“So, I guess you don’t want me to lock up just yet?”
Licking the cream off my thumb, I drop the knife into the sink and shake my head. “Don’t worry about locking up. I can do that tonight. You get going.”
My cheeks fire with color. Kade and I will have the whole place to ourselves. Keith and Cassidy aren’t due back until tomorrow. I’ll put a couple of coins in the jukebox. We can take our time with the pie and amble back to my place afterwards.
I can’t believe he’s here.
He’s gonna tell me the truth.
“As long as you’re sure.” Everett gives me a cautious look but I just giggle.
“Of course I’m sure.”
He grins. “I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.”
“Well, he’s not my boyfriend…yet.” I wink.
“Okay then.” He nods. “I’ll catch you tomorrow.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too.” I wait for the back door to click shut before taking the two plates into the main restaurant. Kade usually sits in the back corner, closest to the kitchen door, so I’m surprised he’s not in his regular seat.
Walking around the bar, I head into the main section and jerk to a stop.
A deep sorrow is the first emotion to fire through me. It’s like an arrow, wounding my hopeful heart.