Amish Love Be Kind 3-Book Boxed Set

by Rachel Stoltzfus

  Hannah nodded. She wouldn’t state the obvious. His business could drop off if he was banned and shunned. “Next, how many other farriers live and work nearby? Both in the Englisch community and here. Are you getting some of their customers?”

  Abram nodded, feeling more animated. “Ya, in fact, I am. And they have told me they plan to return to me when it’s time for their horses to be re-shod.”

  “Is it decision time, then?” Hannah wanted for him to make the decision along with her.

  Abram sighed. This could be a gut thing, if I could only get used to it. “Ya, I think it is. If you are in agreement, I think I should take funds out, buy the lumber and get some help in expanding the barn. I think that’s all I need to do.”

  Hannah nodded. “Ya, I agree. Expanding your current barn, making it larger, makes more sense.”

  “Well, then, on Monday I’ll go to the bank and get money out. First, I’ll determine how much bigger the barn should be, and how much lumber I should need. Then, I’ll get a skilled carpenter from here in Peace Valley and get their help building. I could be done before the first snowfall.”

  Hannah nodded, a slow smile coming to her eyes. “I like that idea. I know you’ve been feeling crowded for some time. Maybe this will make your day-to-day work easier.”

  Abram felt relieved. Having shared the burden did feel better, but a tiny part of him sat off to the side, seeming to mock him. “Ya. I’ll be in the barn, then. I want to start looking around.” Before he could say anything else, he left.

  Hannah sat in the kitchen, her smile fading. She was surprised that he had left so quickly, without even expressing thanks for her thoughts. Oh, but that’s not necessary. Or is it? A small voice that Hannah recognized as her mother’s disagreed. Daughter, it is necessary. Even if he is family. By not expressing gratitude, he just told you that he still holds your opinions in lower regard than his or those of another man. Hannah’s spirits slumped again.

  FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, things went calmly in the Beiler home. Tensions increased as the community meeting set for Abram’s repentance neared. Hannah found herself reluctant to express herself or her thoughts too much, just in case it caused another explosion. As she realized how reluctant she was to be her own self, she became even sadder.

  Abram noticed Hannah’s new shyness and sadness. Feeling especially tender toward her one non-meeting Sunday, he joined her on their sofa as she crocheted. Smiling at her, he tipped his head in his old way. “Hannah, why are you so quiet?”

  Looking outside as the rain slowly turned into snow, Hannah sighed. “Abram, can I be honest without fearing you getting mad at me?”

  “Ya. You can. I’m really trying.”

  “Okay.” Setting the blanket aside, she shifted so she was looking at Abram. She also set herself at a little distance from him, knowing he was feeling tensed up about the meeting, taking place the next Sunday. Lacing her fingers together, she spoke. “Do you remember how we talked about your barn expansion?” At Abram’s quiet nod, she continued. “Well, when you went to the barn, you didn’t express your thanks for my thoughts.”

  “Oh! Is that all? Well, denki. I’m sorry. Ya, you did contribute a lot and the barn addition is wunderbaar. Now, I can work in sufficient space. I’m going to be in there, looking at anything I need to buy.” Jumping from the sofa, Abram shoved his arms into his coat, slapped his hat on his head and hurried to the barn. Inside, he took several deep breaths. I can’t hit her. I can’t hit her. Nor can I yell at her. Who knows who might be passing by? She was right, Abram. Don’t be stupid. The meeting is next week. Abram paced back and forth, struggling with his angry reaction to Hannah’s honesty.

  In the house, Hannah’s face dropped into her hands and she cried. For all of his stated thanks, she had heard the sarcasm lining his words. After several minutes, she looked out the window, seeing a buggy passing by. Hurrying to the bathroom, she washed her face so no evidence of tears remained. She spoke quietly to herself, so she would know a decision had been made and a line crossed. “I will go to Mamm’s this week, if the weather allows. I’ll let her know that, while he hasn’t yelled at or hit me, his attitude is changing. Just in case I need someplace to go.” As she finished making this promise to herself, she heard someone knocking at the door. Hurrying to answer, she saw Eli and Linda Yoder standing outside. “Oh! Come in! It’s too cold to be out! Coffee or hot tea?”

  “I’ll have hot tea. Eli?” Linda looked at her husband.

  “If you have some prepared, I’ll take a thermos. Is Abram in the house? We can share it.”

  “Nee, he’s in the barn, deciding what supplies to order.” Deep down, Hannah was relieved. She prepared the thermos of hot coffee, and then poured boiling water over teabags in two coffee mugs. “What is it, Linda?”

  “We know Abram’s meeting is next week and decided it was a gut time to stop by. He’s probably feeling pretty tensed up. How are things between the two of you?”

  Hannah sighed and looked down. “He hasn’t yelled at me or hit me. But Linda, his attitude is changing. I realized that a little...a little while ago.” Hannah swallowed a sob. “A few weeks ago, before he built his barn addition, he actually invited me to discuss it with him. When he got up then to leave the kitchen, he didn’t thank me. So, today, he asked me why I’m so sad and I asked him to stay calm. He did, even though I told him that he hadn’t thanked me for contributing my thoughts. He thanked me, but his attitude was...sarcastic. Horribly so! He left for the barn, where he is now. And I have decided to go and see my mamm if the weather is better this week to let her know how things are. Just in case I need someplace to go. If...”

  “... He gets violent or yells again.” Linda seemed to be thinking. “Okay. Write a note to Abram and put it on the kitchen table. We’re going to your mamm’s right now. He’ll know where you are and that you’re with me. Eli will know, too.”

  Hannah wrote a quick note and folded it, leaving it on the table where Abram would be sure to see it. She set the sugar bowl on top of it so it wouldn’t blow away or be lost. Putting her large, heavy cape on, she set out with Linda.

  AT THE ZOOK HOME, LINDA, Hannah and Ruth all sat around the table, discussing the current situation. “So, right now, Hannah is at the point where she is setting up what the Englisch social workers call a ‘safety plan,’ just in case.”

  Hannah jumped in. “I know he’s worried about next Sunday’s meeting. That may have played a role in his reaction today.”

  Chapter 5

  Big Sam joined the women, feeling comfortable with all of them. “Even so, daughter, that gives him no reason to treat you badly. You are welcome at any time. Today, if you choose. Honestly, I am getting sick and tired of how he treats you.”

  “Daed, I can’t. Not with the meeting coming up.”

  “Hannah, think about your safety and that of the baby. Do this. If it gets worse during the week, you come at any time. Linda, would you be able to check on her?” Ruth was worried.

  “Ya, of course. Eli can make sure that Abram knows it’s for her safety.”

  IN ABRAM’S BARN, ELI and Abram sipped the hot, delicious coffee as they talked. “Abram, I know you’ve got to be worried about next week’s meeting. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  Abram sighed. “I have to confess, Eli, today I...was less than respectful to her.” He explained the situation, ending with, “And today, I thanked her. But I covered it up with sarcasm because I felt angry at being called out by my wife. So, I came here so I wouldn’t do anything to her. Is Linda with her?”

  “Ya. They are talking. We all know you’re worried about next Sunday. And that’s why we’re here. We want to offer you a private meeting with just the two of us. You let us know what day is the best for you and, if nothing is happening for us, we can be here.”

  A part of Abram was grateful that the Yoders were making the effort. The other half was sardonic and resentful, questioning why they didn’t think he could handle himself or his married life.
He sighed. “Denki. That is a gut idea. To save time, let’s check with the women and see what they say.” In the house, he found Hannah’s note. “They went to Hannah’s parents’ house. I wonder why.”

  Eli had an excellent idea of why Linda and Hannah had gone, but didn’t want to say anything until it was necessary. “Well, until they get back, let’s sit in this warm kitchen and you ask me anything you want. About marriage and gut relationships, or anything you want.”

  Abram took full advantage of the situation. Wanting to find a chink in Eli’s gut reputation, he was hoping to learn that Eli, himself, had hit a woman or done something that others disapproved of. “Well...okay. Have you ever done anything to be ashamed of? Say, hit a woman?”

  Eli knew exactly what Abram was doing. “I’ll answer your questions, Abram. Nee, I’m not perfect. I’m a sinner, just like you. No, I have never hit a woman or robbed a bank. But I have lied. I have lusted.”

  “What about your relationship with Linda and your kinder?” Abram was getting curious. He felt the edge of his anger retreating.

  Sensing this, Eli felt a little bit of relief. “Our relationship isn’t perfect. We correct each other when we do wrong. And ya, we get angry at each other. But I like to think that we have learned how to address the topic at hand, and each other, in respectful, loving ways.”

  “Okay. Say, Linda feels like you weren’t grateful for something she did or said. How do you handle that?”

  “I think about how I responded. Sometimes, it’s just a simple misunderstanding. Other times, I did forget to take her feelings in consideration, and I didn’t thank her. And I apologize and thank her. Even if it is a few hours or days late. Now, was Hannah respectful when she brought this up?”

  “Ya, I can’t lie about that. She is always respectful to me.” Abram looked out, seeing the snow slowly falling and hoping Hannah would come home soon. “Have you ever felt like hitting Linda?”

  “Nee. Never. Because I know we have other ways of settling disagreements. And that’s what we want to teach you. We know you have a gut chance of correcting the mistakes you’re making, Abram. Or the elders wouldn’t have brought your situation to us. All we ask is that you be honest with us and let us know if you have any problems in your relationship with Hannah. At the sound of the women’s feet on the front porch, Eli turned toward the door.

  “Hannah! You’re home! Why did you go to see your mamm, in this weather?” Abram, knowing that they had support, was able to relax a little, though he still worried about the upcoming meeting.

  Hannah had already discussed with Linda the reason for her visit with her parents. “I want to be honest, Abram.” She sat at the table. “Your meeting is coming up and I know you feel terrible about that and about what’s been happening with us. I’ve decided that, if things don’t improve, or if they get worse, I will be moving back with them until we can work things out. It’s for the baby’s safety.”

  Abram was crushed, knowing that Hannah had to take that burden on her shoulders. Drawing a deep breath in, he nodded. “I agree. I don’t like it, but I agree. Ya, I am worried and frightened about the meeting.”

  “Abram, as long as you repent, you should be fine. And I know you are sorry.”

  Abram knew this was the best time to confess what he had been feeling. “Hannah. Linda, Eli, I do repent. At the same time, I feel a...a pulling between what I know I should do and what I learned at my uncle’s house so long ago. Because the Ordnung—”

  “Nee, Abram. Our Ordnung is more liberal than others are. While we aren’t nearly as advanced as other communities are, we do welcome the input and hard work of our wives and mothers. I don’t know what your uncle told you, but unless he is from a highly conservative community, he is wrong and in violation of their Ordnung. I can’t stress that enough.” Eli spread his hands on the table, thumping them gently on the surface as he spoke. “If this is the source of your problems, please tell me. How difficult will it be for you to rid yourself of the influence of your uncle’s thinking and actions?”

  Hannah waited, holding her breath. She looked out the window, saying a prayer.

  Abram sighed. “It will take some effort. Because I did ask my daed about what I saw. He also said my uncle was wrong. But he didn’t say anything about the Ordnung violation. I’ve been torn between both standards for years now.”

  Linda spoke. “When you were dating Hannah, did any of this interfere?”

  “Nee, and that’s why I am so confused. I wanted her to express herself. That’s part of what attracted me to her.”

  Eli ran his hand through his thick, blond hair. “Well, it seems to me that you have quite some work ahead of you. If you don’t mind, we need to get home before this weather gets any worse. Hannah, are you comfortable being alone with Abram?”

  Hannah looked at her husband. She saw none of the anger or sarcasm, just confusion. “Ya, as long as he stays calm.”

  “Abram, do you feel like you can respect Hannah’s emotions and boundaries? Not hit her?”

  “Ya. If I get frustrated, I’ll go to one of the other rooms until I feel calmer. I promise.”

  This promise held until Thursday night, when Hannah sensed Abram’s frustration building to a dangerous level. She packed a small bag and asked Linda Yoder to take her to her parents’ house. Stopping in the barn, where Abram was putting his equipment away, she told him where she would be. “When we both know what is going to happen after the meeting, we can talk about my coming back home. I’ve left your supper in the refrigerator. Go ahead and warm it up according to the instructions I wrote down.”

  Abram nodded, feeling bereft. He didn’t like seeing her go, but feeling as though he had only a small amount of control, he knew she needed to be elsewhere.

  “Abram, Eli is telling your mam where Hannah will be. I’m sure she’ll bring meals to you.” Linda’s voice was soft and kind.

  AT HER PARENTS’ HOUSE, Hannah was tearful, wondering if she had done the right thing.

  “Ya, you did. Your daed saw Abram in town and said he looked tense enough to fly apart. You stay here until Sunday. If he isn’t banned, you can go back home.”

  Hannah nodded.

  AT THE BEILER’S HOME, Abram sat, head bowed, as his mamm served his supper. “Mamm, thank you. I pray she will be back Sunday sometime.”

  “Son, if you hadn’t let your uncle’s poor example lead you, then she would be here, where she belongs. But I agree with her. I do wish now that you hadn’t spent time at your uncle’s for that summer. Then, you wouldn’t have seen the shameful example he sets. Now, I have to get back home. Just set the dishes into the sink with warm water and I’ll wash them tomorrow.”

  On her way home in the cold evening, Martha Beiler wondered if she should tell Abram about her own brother’s domestic violence situation. Thinking about all the advantages and disadvantages, she decided that he could use some new ways of thinking about his own plight. Ya, I’ll tell him. Tomorrow.

  The next morning, returning to Abram and Hannah’s house, Martha poured herself a cup of coffee. “Son, what time is your first appointment today?”

  “Not until eight. Why?”

  “We still have some time. It’s not even six-thirty yet. I’m going to tell you about your uncle on my side. Do you remember Uncle Andrew?”

  “Barely. Wasn’t I only something like eight when he had to leave?”

  “Around that, ya. Do you know why he was banned and shunned?”

  Abram had an uncomfortable feeling. “Was it for beating his wife?”

  “Ya. Not only his wife, but his two oldest girls, as well. Only, their community didn’t have the Peer Council. It may have helped him. He was sure that the only way he could ensure that he and his family stayed on the right side of Gott was to whale the ever-living stuffing out of them. For any infraction, no matter how small. For some odd reason, the boys escaped those beatings.”

  “How did he get caught?”

  One of the ministers happened
to be driving by as he was beating your aunt. She had told her husband that she didn’t think it was a gut idea to allow one of their sons to socialize with another community boy. Well, your uncle didn’t appreciate that she dared to speak up. The kinder were all upstairs as he beat her. By the time the minister and one other community member came to the house and got in, he had broken her nose, given her a concussion, blackened her eye and broken one arm. She was in the hospital for a gut two weeks. And he was not allowed to be around the kinder. Nee, they stayed with your daed and me.”

  “I remember that! The girls were just the quietest little things, like church mice. But the boys—”

  “Were out of control. Two weeks after the beating, while your aunt was still being treated, the community met. The minister and community member spoke. Other witnesses spoke. And—finally encouraged to speak up—your aunt dictated a statement to be read at the meeting.”

  “Did my uncle repent?”

  “Nee! He honestly thought that he had the Gott-given right to abuse your aunt and cousins. He was banned and shunned. When he realized that the community was serious about its punishment, he claimed repentance. But, when he ran into one of your cousins, Amy, he yelled at her and raised his fist to her at the after-meeting lunch. After that, he was encouraged to leave the community and settle elsewhere. To this day, your aunt has had to make a living for herself. Your daed and I worked hard with the girls and boys to teach them how to respect others and to respect themselves.”

  “And? Do the boys respect authority now? Because I remember they used to sass you something terrible.”

  “Ya, they did. Until your daed gave them some of the hardest work they’ve ever done. They had to muck out stalls for several of his customers. Before that, they had never been made to work that hard. By the end of that day, they were this close to puking from the stench. And your daed promised them that if they ever disrespected him, me or anyone else, they would get double the punishment.”