Zeb had never been defied before. It was a new experience for him. He didn’t know what to say and, for once, he felt slightly afraid. Luke was just as tall as he was, but outweighed him by a gut thirty pounds. And it wasn’t fat—it was pure muscle. “Okay. Ya, they told me what was going on. But I have the right as head of our family to discipline if she isn’t obeying. If she’s defying me.”
“Not with violence you don’t. Correct her with kind words if need be. Ach, gut, Rebecca, did you get everything on the list?”
“Ya, Daed. I have everything.”
“Well, good riddance to her! She was the worst mamm and wife ever. She can stay there for gut! Now go!” Zeb’s voice was a dull roar. After his visitors had left, Zeb turned and leaned his back against the sturdy door, holding his hands over his eyes. He was angry. But he was also hurting. He didn’t know what he would do without Emily by his side. All he knew was that he had worked to keep her by his side, using whatever means he could, even if it meant chipping away at her self-confidence and striking her frequently.
Moving to the couch, he sank down into the soft cushions, thinking. Ya, I believe that women are supposed to support their husbands’ decisions. They aren’t supposed to make the decisions. At all! So, how can I repent for a wrong I haven’t committed?
Thus began two weeks of loneliness for Zeb. Emily wasn’t lonely. Instead, she was frightened, worried about what would happen at the community’s meeting, set for the next Meeting Sunday.
IN PEACE VALLEY, ABRAM continued to work on his anger issues. He began to find it easier to do so, now that he knew his uncle was facing the community’s judgment over his abusive actions toward his auntie Emily and cousins. He was surprised to get a message from Bishop Kurtz one day.
“Bishop! Come in! How are you? Lemonade?”
“Ya, please. It’s right humid out there.” Bishop Kurtz removed his straw hat, dropping it on the kitchen table.
“Do you have some news? Or have I done something wrong?”
“I have news, ya. Nee, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He turned to Mrs. Beiler. “Hannah, have things been going smoothly?”
“Ya, they have. He’s had a few days where he came home frustrated, but not to the point where I worried.”
“Gut! Abram, you and I need to travel to Ohio this weekend. Your uncle Zeb’s meeting is this Sunday. Thankfully, it’s not a Meeting Sunday here.”
“Me? Why me?”
“It’s because of your courageous reporting of your uncle’s abuse of your aunt Emily and your female cousins that he is finally facing the community for his wrongs. The elders want you to tell the community up there what happened that summer when you were a teen. When you witnessed his abusive actions. And when he beat you as well. I’ll be going because they want to hear from me just what effect his actions have had on you.”
Abram ran his hand over his mouth and beard. He sighed. “Will Eli Yoder be going?”
“They hadn’t asked for him to go, but it’s a gut idea to have him along. I don’t know if their community has been working on violence issues or sexism in the same way we have. If not...”
“He could be a gut voice for a new Peer Council.”
Abram agreed to go with his bishop and with Eli. The closer the date came, the harder he found it to battle his monster. One day, after pacing around, trying to wear the anger out and beating the old pillow, he finally gave up. Scribbling a short note, he told Hannah to pack enough things for her and Eleanor. “I’m so messed up by this meeting that I’m finding it difficult to control my temper. I don’t want to hit you. I love you.”
Hannah, reading the note, sighed. She nodded her understanding and dished up a plate for Abram, then took it out to him. He told her he would stay on the porch and Hannah nodded her agreement. “We’ll leave after I clean up. Thank you for keeping control this long.”
“Gut. I don’t know how long I can hold on, though.”
Hannah was warned. “I’ll...we’ll leave soon, don’t worry. Should I tell Linda?”
“Ya, please. And tell her that I told you to leave before anything happened.”
“Ya. I will.” Inside, Hannah ate as quickly as she could, cleaned the kitchen and put the dishes away. Packing several days’ worth of clothing and items for Eleanor, she scurried into the barn, hitched the horses and, setting the baby into her basket, left.
Abram, in his side of the barn, heard the sounds as Hannah got ready to leave. As the clops of the horses’ hooves grew fainter, he dropped his head in relief, then, with an earsplitting yell, he began slamming his fists into the pillow. As he did so, the old feathers began to poof out, floating through the air and finally alighting on the ground. For several minutes, Abram hit the pillow, over and over again. Finally, he stopped, breathing heavily. His uncle’s voice had been silenced. For now. Looking around his feet, he sighed and grabbed the push broom. He swept up all the feathers and dumped them into the trashcan close by. He was hesitant to go to bed—he knew what would happen. He also knew that he had four appointments the next day, which would be the last working day of the week for him.
Again, Abram was a teen staying for the summer at his uncle’s house. As had happened in past dreams, his uncle went after anyone he believed he could intimidate. Only now, Abram had reached his full adult height.
One day, Zeb had decided he didn’t like the quality of the weeding Abram had done in the fields. Grabbing his nephew roughly by the upper arm, he dragged him out to the huge cornfield.
This time, however, Abram was ready. He allowed himself to be pulled to an open area. He refused to be pulled into the cornfield itself. He knew that if his uncle succeeded in pulling him into the corn, he was as good as lost. Digging his heels into the earth, he resisted. “Nee, uncle! No more!” Abram tried his hardest not to be pulled into the field.
He found himself dodging his uncle’s strong fists. He realized the only way he could stop the onslaught would be to “accidentally” hit his uncle under the chin and stun him. When one of Zeb’s blows came close, Abram ducked down as low as he could, so his forehead was nearly touching the front of Zeb’s shirt. Next, he came up quickly, keeping a wary eye out for additional fists. Preparing for the blow, he straightened up as fast as he could. The back of his head connected painfully with Zeb’s chin.
Hearing his uncle’s “oof!” of surprise, he backed up so he was out of range of those dangerous fists. He watched in a remote form of surprise as his uncle’s head whipped back and he fell, landing hard on his back. He lay still.
“Abram!” Davey ran up to him and looked at his daed’s supine form. “What did you do?”
“He was trying to hit me. I-I ducked, lost my balance and when I came back up, I was too close to him. I didn’t know my head would hit him!” Abram stammered on purpose, not wanting his cousin to know he’d knocked Zeb out on purpose.
“Hah! You’re the only one who’s been able to stop one of his attacks! How’d you do that?” Davey’s face bore an expression of delight.
Abram, seeing this, was stunned. . .
He sat up, looking around the darkened bedroom. Slowly, he realized he wasn’t back in his youth. “That’s it! That’s how I beat him!” Abram’s laugh was much like Davey’s had been in his dream. Hurrying, he ran downstairs, thinking he really needed to keep a pencil and notebook in their bedroom. Finding what he needed, he wrote down everything he remembered of his dream. Then he wrote down what he’d just learned. “Keep this dream in mind. I believe Gott sent it to me. Any time either uncle Zeb or my ‘monster’ try to approach or intimidate me, all I need is to remember that dream, how I stopped him and how he went down on his back.” Satisfied, Abram took the notebook and pencil upstairs. Lying down, he fell back to sleep quickly. His sleep was peaceful.
After finishing all his jobs the next day, Abram rolled into his barn and unloaded everything. After feeding and grooming the horses, he went into the house, finding Martha preparing supper for him. “Denki, Mamm. I c
ould have gone to your house for supper!”
“You sound tired, but happy. Nee. I made extra at home and just brought it over. All I made here were the biscuits and a small dessert for you.”
“Denki. I am happy. I had kind of a breakthrough.
“Ya, what happened? Tell me!” Martha dried her hands and set a small plate of biscuits on the table, sitting down eagerly.
“I had another dream about uncle Zeb.”
Martha gasped, a look of dismay on her face. “How is that gut?”
Abram held a hand up to Martha, motioning for her to wait. He swallowed his iced tea, taking several large gulps. “He was abusive to me, telling me he didn’t like some work I did in the cornfield. He was trying to drag me into the corn and I knew that if he succeeded, he would end up whaling me into the ground. So, I resisted. I told him he wouldn’t hit me anymore. At all. He kept trying to pull me in and finally just started trying to hit me, out there in the open. Let me take a bite.” Quickly, Abram chewed his food and continued. “Well...I kept avoiding and ducking his fists. Finally, I realized that I could stop him. By ducking down and getting really close to him, I was able to come back up real quick. The back of my head connected with his chin.
Chapter 5
“In my dream, Mamm, he didn’t know what hit him. Literally! He saw stars before he passed out. He flew back and landed hard on his back. Davey saw what was happening and ran up to me. I thought he’d be mad, but he was amazed, Mamm! He asked me how I did it. He told me that I was the only one who’d ever been able to stop him in the middle of one of his attacks on us.
“Then, I woke up. Mamm, that’s what I have to do. I just have to remember my dream and keep a mental image of my head connecting with his chin, knocking him out. Also, in my dream, I told Davey how I knocked his daed out. That means that, at least, my cousins could stop him.”
Martha’s expressions went from happy to sad, all in the space of a few seconds. “That is wunderbaar, Abram! I hope you’ll remember to use that when things get difficult for you.”
“Oh, I will. I wrote it down after I woke up. I also reminded myself to keep a notebook and pencil in our bedroom. Why are you so sad?”
“I...son, I just keep thinking about your auntie Emily. He has beat her down and taken every bit of spirit out of her. Even if she learned of your dream, I doubt she would have the emotional ability to do that to Zeb.” Martha let out a deep, slow sigh. “I just pray she will have the emotional strength to speak of her experiences in this Sunday’s meeting.”
Abram sobered. He remembered that when he’d been a teenager, she was already a scared woman. “Man, I hate to think about how much worse it’s gotten for her since their kinder all got married and moved out!”
“Ya. And the girls didn’t have their home as a refuge when their husbands became abusive.”
The reality of his cousins’ situation slammed hard into Abram. He set his fork down. “Mamm, Hannah and I have been fortunate. Even with everything we’ve had to deal with, we have been so much more fortunate and blessed than my cousins!”
Gripping Abram’s hand, Martha swallowed her tears back, nodding. It was all she could do, because of the knot in her throat.
Early the next morning, Abram waved through the living room window as he saw the bishop and Eli pulling into his yard. He swallowed more coffee and turned to Martha, who’d come quickly into the living room. “Mamm, they’re here. I’ll get a travel mug for the rest of my coffee.”
“Take these for your trip. I made cinnamon rolls for all of you, as well as some sandwiches, which I packed into the small cooler. You’ll only need to stop for drinks.”
Abram hurried into the kitchen and poured the rest of the coffee into a travel mug, then sweetened it. Hugging his mamm, he grabbed his overnight bag and the cooler. “Denki, Mamm. I really appreciate the support and love you and Daed have given to us.”
Martha gripped Abram’s cheeks. Looking deeply into his eyes, she nodded. “It wasn’t easy to admit you have an anger problem that has affected you and Hannah. But you are a gut man, with a gut heart for Gott. You’re fighting to make things right, and it hasn’t been easy for you. Just tell the truth in tomorrow’s meeting. That’s all I ask.”
“I will, Mamm. Denki.” Abram’s words came out in a low, rough tone. He was struggling with tears of his own now. Running to the buggy, he slung his bag into the back and jumped up, sitting behind Eli and Joseph. He held the cooler up. “Cinnamon rolls!”
Eli laughed. He held up a large travel container. “Iced tea! And, to the side of you, cookies!”
“Gut! We’re set! Mamm made sandwiches too, so all we’ll need is to stop for drinks.”
“Gut, because I want to get there before the rain hits.”
“Rain?” Abram looked all around them. “It’s clear!”
“Ya, but I talked to the bishop in Ohio. They’re expecting rain sometime this afternoon.”
“Let’s move, then!” As Joseph drove the buggy, Abram recounted the dream he’d had the past night. “So, I learned that I can resist and fight back against him, without violating the Ordnung.”
“You just got real close to him, then stood up straight and fast? So your head connected with his jaw?” Joseph let out a loud guffaw. “I wish I’d been there in your dream! Ya, use that any time you need to get through anger. You may need it this weekend. He won’t be happy to see you there.”
“Ya, he’ll figure out that I was the one who made his abuse public.”
The three men quieted down, thinking their individual thoughts. Abram, beginning to wonder how much he had to fear, felt his heart hammering in his chest.
Eli looked back and saw the apprehension on Abram’s face. “Nee, Abram. Don’t be afraid. You’ll have Gott by your side and we’ll be sitting in the room as well.”
A new thought occurred to Abram. “Will either one of you speak?”
“Both of us. About the effects of his abusive actions on you personally and on how you view your wife’s independence and ability to share decisions with you.”
“Are you going to bring up sexism?” Abram was curious.
Eli shook his head. “Only in explaining what the Peer Council does. I don’t think they’ll understand it right away. Maybe a few will.”
“Well, it’s for sure that my uncle won’t understand it. Nor will he care to. He sees only that as the man of the house, he has all the rights and the women in his family have virtually none. He has beaten the spirit out of my auntie Emily. And my cousins.”
“You’ll have the chance to see her tomorrow. I hope she’ll know that you did something really brave.”
“But don’t expect that. From what I understand, Abram, after the elders approached Zeb, he was enraged. Your aunt had to run out of the house to avoid another beating. Her neighbors opened their home to her and she’s been staying there since then.”
“Hmmm. Well, if uncle Zeb is banned, she won’t be able to live in the same house with him.”
“Ya. Someone could go in to cook and clean for him. But they couldn’t share conversations or anything else with him. So she may end up staying with them, unless she has family close by.”
For a long while, all three men were silent, just viewing the scenery as it passed by. The rain that Joseph had predicted began to threaten in about mid-afternoon. Heavy, dark clouds built up and the wind began to blow harder.
“Thankfully, we aren’t very far away. We’ll stay with the bishop and his wife.” Joseph hurried the tired horses along a little more quickly. “Come on, team. You don’t want to be outside when it begins raining.”
The horses seemed to understand and picked up their pace noticeably. After another forty-five minutes, Joseph pulled the team into a large, green yard.
Abram looked at the other bishop as he came out of the barn. Seeing that he was dressed similarly to how he, Eli and Joseph were dressed, Abram was relieved. This district wasn’t too conservative, seeming to mirror Abram’s district
in beliefs.
“Hello! I hope your trip was gut!”
“Ya, denki! It was. I want to introduce Eli Yoder. He and his wife head our Peer Council. And this is Abram Beiler.”
“Zeb Beiler’s nephew. Ya. Son, you are brave. Truly. Denki for agreeing to speak tomorrow.”
Abram nodded. “I have to. He nearly destroyed my life and marriage. He has destroyed my auntie Emily and my cousins’ lives.”
“Let me take your things. My grandson Mark will take care of your horses and make sure they’ve got water and food.”
Abram raised one hand. “Do you mind if I look at their hooves? We came a long way from Pennsylvania and I want to make sure their shoes are secure.”
Joseph moved aside. “Denki! You just shoed them a couple months ago, so they should be gut.”
Abram nodded. “True, but it’s always gut to check.” Bending over, he lifted each hoof and checked the solidity of the shoes, as well as looking for small pebbles lodged into the hooves. He made small adjustments and pulled a few pebbles out of the horses’ hooves. “There. They should be comfortable now.” Inside the house, all three of them unpacked their clothing and left their hats on the wall pegs. As they went downstairs, they heard a loud clap of thunder. Abram looked up as he heard the rain begin hitting the roof of the house.
“We got here just in time!” Joseph shook his head, walking downstairs behind Abram.
As they walked into the kitchen, they saw Mark come bounding into the kitchen, stomping his feet on the mat outside. He pulled his wet straw hat from his thick, curly hair and swished it in the air.
“Sir, you have beautiful horses.” Looking at Abram, he smiled. “I want to be a farrier, too.”
“Ya? That’s gut! There’s not that many of us. We have only three in our community and we are busy five or six days a week.”
Bishop Stone cleared his throat, gesturing to the chairs around the large kitchen table. “Let’s talk about tomorrow. Something to drink?”
Amish Love Be Kind 3-Book Boxed Set Page 19