by T Gephart
“You want to plan a wedding in a week? That’s crazy talk. It takes time, months to plan a wedding.” She scoffed at the suggestion of planning a wedding in a week, clearly not meeting her idea for a traditional timeline in nuptial planning.
“Last time I did it in a few hours so this is definitely an improvement.” Working under pressure is what I did best. A week would be a cakewalk next to the three hour race around in Miami I had subjected Alex to last time. Plus we already had the rings and we didn’t need a marriage license, so we were already ahead of the game. Not to mention I was fairly sure if I put some instruments in front of Alex, James, Troy, Jason and Dan I’d have a band as well. I don’t know why people get so stressed over weddings. This was going to be a walk in the park.
“You like to make things difficult for yourself don’t you?” She was not buying into my this-is-so-easy-I-can-do-it-in-my-sleep attitude, and I would happily prove her wrong.
“Alex will love it. I know it was hard for him not being able to share that day with his family. It’s the least I can do.” It would be the one thing he didn’t already have and better than any gift I could buy him. With Alex, I was always going to have to think outside the box. I didn’t think a bottle of cologne and a tie were going to cut it for any occasion.
“Well if you are going to do this, you are going to need my help.” Sydney insisted, straightening in her chair.
“Thanks Syd, but I know you are busy. I couldn’t ask that of you.” While I was sure the timeframe did not pose a problem, it would mean that every hour until that day would be consumed by this one event. My time was my own. Sure I had a job, but I could get creative with how I juggled things for a week. It’s not like I was going to fire myself. But, I couldn’t ask that of someone else, especially someone who was already so busy with her own life.
“You didn’t ask. I’m telling you and you are going to need my help.” She halted any further discussion. It was pointless arguing with her. She was headstrong, like I was, and I loved her for it. It was truly touching that she wanted to be involved, and I would shut my mouth and try and take her way too generous offer graciously.
“OK, but we need to involve Taylah too. She has all kinds of connections and can source almost anything. Plus, I’m pretty sure my body will be floating down the Hudson if I don’t get her on board.” Taylah would be an amazing asset. With her flair and acute attention to detail, it would be the most beautiful wedding ever. Oh and I wasn’t kidding about my body floating down the Hudson River, she would not forgive being shut out a second time.
Sydney pulled out her Blackberry and furiously started taking notes.
“OK Lexi Reed slash Stone, let’s get you hitched, New York style.”
Chapter 11
Strategies and Ceremonies
PLANNING A wedding in a week was not easy. I wanted to go back in time and smack my arrogant, delusional self who proclaimed proudly that it was no big deal. The reason our first wedding had been no big deal was because we didn’t have a wedding, we had gotten married and those two things were remarkably different. A wedding requires a venue, decorations, catering, entertainment, flowers, party favours and most importantly, according to Taylah, a theme.
“Even I can’t get you an opening at the Plaza in a week Lexi, what the hell were you thinking? All the decent venues are booked months, if not years in advance.” Taylah stared at me in disbelief while I recounted my brilliant idea to turn Alex’s birthday celebration into a surprise wedding.
With Alex busy rehearsing with the band as James was driving the boys hard in order to fine tune the set list, it had left me free to sit me cross-legged on the floor of Taylah’s apartment with an open bottle of pinot grigio. In a covert strategy meeting that would rival the tension in any war room, we brainstormed ideas on how to make Stone Wedding the re-play a viable reality.
“I don’t want to get married at the Plaza, Tay. The Plaza is too formal, and I don’t want our wedding to feel pretentious and stuffy. I want it be fun and relaxed. Everywhere can’t be booked, surely somewhere is available?” I opened my laptop as I mindlessly typed wedding venues NYC into the Google search bar.
“The Plaza is too formal? Of course it’s formal. It’s a wedding, it’s supposed to be formal. What were you hoping for? A keg party on the beach?” Talyah scoffed in disgust. “No, you did the casual thing once before with your Vegas-style drive by in Miami. If you are going to the effort of a do-over, then it’s time you man up and have a proper grown-up wedding. I’m talking the whole shebang, flowers, cake, the lot.”
“Taylah, I do not want this to turn into a circus. That’s why we originally had the Vegas-style drive by in Miami. I’m getting hives just thinking about it.” I tried not to hyperventilate as I mentally pictured myself in a monstrous white tulle dress with puffy sleeves and a full-length cathedral train. Oh god, if Taylah suggested releasing white doves or butterflies I was going to throw up.
I felt my pulse race as she pulled out yet another copy of Martha Stewart’s Weddings. “No, please. No more bridal magazines,” I pushed the thick glossy pages away in disgust. She was right, what the hell was I thinking?
“Yo Bridezilla. Rein it in. You look like you are about to pass out.” She patted me on my back as I tried to regulate my breathing. “Breathe in and breathe out. That’s it.”
“There has to be another way, a compromise.” My chest heaved as I sucked in big breaths of air. “Something that doesn’t have to be overly formal, but is still classy and tasteful. Something I can live with.”
“All right, so let’s try and find a compromise. Where would you like to get married?” She tossed aside the magazines, finally resigned that we weren’t going to be finding the solution in the over priced publications littering the floor.
“What about an outdoor wedding?” I suggested, thinking of how nice it would be not being held within the confines of a room.
“Lexi, it’s September. Fall is dicey in New York,” she reasoned, her brow furrowed with concern.
“We could get a big-ass white tent. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about the weather.” New York had nothing on Melbourne weather. I was used to mother nature being a schizophrenic crack whore. At least in New York you got some kind of consistency. Back in Melbourne, you could have a scorching hot day followed by an ice storm in the evening. You could get four seasons in one day and it had all the predictability of the stock spread on Wall Street.
“I thought you were trying to avoid the circus,” she scoffed as she took a sip of her wine, unimpressed with my suggestion.
“Ha-ha. We could make it classy. Fill it with flowers and candles. It will beautiful.” I refused to admit defeat. My white-tented fantasy was by far the most comfortable scenario we’d come up with thus far.
“So where would we pitch this flower filled, big-ass tent? The roof might be a bit conspicuous.” Once again she rained on my parade. I wondered if we could forgo the tent entirely if she forwent the negativity.
“Damn, I didn’t get that far into the thought process.” I had no idea where I could pitch a tent, especially one that size. I guess that brought us back to square one and no closer to a solution.
“Why don’t we ask Hannah and James? Their sprawling property is more than big enough to host your carni-wedding.” Taylah volunteered as she likened my future nuptials to the weird and wonderful American sub-culture that was small town Carnivals.
“I can’t just ask to use Hannah and James’ backyard. And just because we get married in a tent doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a carni-wedding. Have a little faith, or are you not up to the challenge?” At what point is a favour pushing the boundaries of a friendship? I would say asking to use their backyard for the spontaneous birthday and wedding I was planning would be well and truly over the line.
“Honey with the right theming we could make the subway look appealing. You wanna Ringling Bros this thing, I’m onboard and I still think you should absolutely ask Hannah and James.
I’m sure they would love to do it.” She insisted, tossing me my iPhone that had been innocently lying by my side.
“Fine, I’ll ask, but if I get the vibe she isn’t a hundred percent cool with this we go scouting for another location.” Well if this wasn’t the day for putting my arse on the line and asking for shit I had no business asking for. I was serious though. The slightest hesitation or elongated pause and the topic would be shut down.
“Just pour me some more wine while you make the call,” Taylah tilted her empty glass in my direction.
After debating whether or not to make the call at that exact moment or whether to wait a few days—and draining the last of the bottle of wine into Taylah’s glass—I bit the bullet and dialed. I only had myself to blame for the hideous deadline. Sydney had even tried to talk me out of it, but no I had to run with my ingenious idea. I mentally chastised myself for being such an idiot as I waited for Hannah to answer. What the fuck was I even going to wear to this thing?
Hannah finally answered and after the initial pleasantries and making sure Alex was not in earshot—thankfully he and the rest of Power Station were safely tucked away in the studio—I decided my lack of wiggle room and with a tight deadline looming dictated I tender my request.
“So… Hannah, you know it’s Alex’s birthday next…” I segued from the current topic of conversation.
“Yes, of course. Are you planning something? Did you need help?” she asked excitedly. Her ready offer was not surprising. She was usually so generous with her time especially for the people that she loved.
“Well yeah, I’m planning something.” Something was probably an apt way to describe it. “I kind of do need your help, but it’s more in the way of a venue. Our apartment just won’t cut it and I was looking to still keep it personal.”
“You want to have it here?” she offered without so much as a second thought. “We have plenty of room. We’d love to host Alex’s birthday. It sure wouldn’t be the first.” She giggled, reminding me that while this was the first birthday celebration I was sharing with my husband, the Bowdens were Stone birthday veterans.
“I just need the use of you backyard actually, and I’m taking care of everything. You and James won’t have to worry about a thing.” I wanted to assure her that providing the venue didn’t mean she would be responsible for organizing the event.
“Of course you can use the backyard, but what if it rains?” Just as Taylah had, Hannah was concerned about the fate of rain soaked partygoers. Fall in New York being unpredictable and all.
“I’m going to organise a tent so we’re not at the mercy of inclement weather. You see it’s a little bit more than just a birthday party.” I could only avoid telling Hannah for so long. If I’m-going-to-put-a-tent-in-your backyard wasn’t a tip off, the steady stream of delivery vans sprouting floral arrangements surely would be.
“It’s a wedding. Ours to be exact, but I want it to be a surprise for Alex so please don’t say anything.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear as she squealed in delight, “Lexi. That’s fantastic. A wedding. Yes. Oh my god, how exciting. I get to see it this time.” The words rushed out of her mouth in an excited jumble. “That’s such a brilliant idea, Alex is going to flip out. Are you going to wear a wedding dress? Who is going to marry you?”
“Relax Han, it’s early stages. I thought it was best to secure a location before moving on to other details, but I’ll keep you in the loop,” I promised, knowing that now Hannah had been briefed she was going to need to be fed a steady stream of information to be appeased. No one loved a happily ever after more than Hannah.
“OK, OK, OK,” she enthusiastically agreed. “Venue is secured so get planning. Crap. I heard the back door. I better go.” Her voice lowered to a whisper.
“No probs Han, we’ll talk later. Thank you for doing this, you really have saved me a lot of heartache. Bye.” I was slightly uncomfortable with the growing list of people who I now owed. Not that Hannah would be keeping score, she genuinely enjoyed helping others. It was my own fucked up psyche that required reciprocation.
“Any time and it’s my pleasure. Bye.” Her enthusiasm was not diminished despite the conversation coming to a close.
I smiled as I ended the call, happy that I could at least tick one thing off my very long to do list. Of course Taylah gloated that she had been right and knew Hannah would offer her house as a venue. I allowed her the victory, too pleased that my plan was actually going to come to fruition.
“Hey Lexi,” Dave carried in another chilled bottle of wine at Taylah’s beckoning. He had been busy slaving away on his laptop, finalising the postproduction of some happening new band. “Where’s Alex?” He looked around curiously, noticing I was sans my rock star husband.
“He’s rehearsing, prepping for the tour.” I volunteered as I drained the remaining wine from my glass. Taylah was right about one thing; the whole process was a lot easier with wine. Although according to Taylah, there wasn’t much in life that couldn’t be improved with a nice bottle of chilled fermented grapes.
Dave nodded in approval. “Awesome, I’ll catch a local show. They are phenomenal live.”
“I’ll get you tickets, just tell me what show and how many you want. I’ve got a hook up.” I winked at Dave before turning to Taylah who had busied herself refilling my wine glass, unprompted. “Tay, you trying to get me drunk?”
“Oh please, I’ve seen you swallow shots like a co-ed on spring break. It’s would take more than a few glasses of wine to get you liquored up” she admonished. “Besides, don’t you have your entourage to drive you home?”
“I don’t have an entourage and yes DarNell is going to drive me home.” I gave her a friendly shove, the wine sloshing slightly out of her glass and into her lap.
“Hey don’t take it out on the grapes that you don’t have a car.” She licked the side of her glass, saving the vagrant drops before they could travel any further.
“A little light reading?” Dave pointed to the glossy mags that littered the floor.
“Oh we’re just causally throwing together Lexi’s wedding for Saturday. Just an average night of mayhem.” Taylah mused sarcastically, enjoying the retelling of my idea to reiterate how crazy I was.
“You’re having a wedding? Aren’t you already married?” Dave stroked his neatly trimmed goatee, confused about why his recently married ex-neighbour was sitting on his floor, drinking wine surround by every wedding publication known to man.
“What she had was a formalization of vows. You need a freaking party for it to be a wedding, Dave. My attendance is also mandatory to seal the deal.” Taylah didn’t give me the opportunity to clarify before she jumped in and put her own spin on the version of events. Despite her comical categorization, my first wedding would always be near and dear to my heart, the sentiment behind it pure and untainted by expectation.
“Sad but true Dave. I feel so dirty knowing Tay hasn’t sanctioned our union,” I agreed. The only person who had eclipsed Taylah’s disappointment had been Hannah, and while neither blamed me for their absences I was glad I was able to offer a remedy.
“So you doin’ the whole church thing?” Dave squatted down, joining us on the floor as he sought further information with genuine interest.
“Don’t be silly Dave, the thing would probably spontaneously combust if she walked through the doors.” Taylah laughed, thoroughly enjoying the suggestion.
“Hey. I have been in a church before, and I didn’t set anything alight.” I argued, remembering that I had been in a church, recently even, and I had not suffered any acts of biblical proportions.
“God was just being kind on that day sweetie, but trust me, if you show up in a white dress pretending to be a virgin He would smite you without a second thought.” She gave this as her explanation as to how I was able to sit in church unscathed on the day Alex had buried his father.
“Actually, Dave.” I ignored Taylah and her intricate interruptions on religion. �
�I’m having an outdoor wedding. We are organizing a tent and it will be low-key, close friends, family, no church.”
“Still you’re going to need someone to preside over the ceremony. You thought about who you might want?” Done with the light hearted frivolity, Taylah was now focused on the next actionable objective.
“Not really, just no one who is going to blab to the press. I’d rather not have circling helicopters.” Another variable I hadn’t considered. One step closer and two steps back.
“Why don’t you just get a friend to do it? I mean you are already legally married. It’s not like you need the certificate signed,” Dave helpfully pointed out. After all we weren’t bound by the same rules an unmarried couple were, as we had already been there and done that.
“Dave, that is freaking brilliant. I love that idea. Yes, that would be perfect.” I was immediately excited that we wouldn’t have to involve a stranger in what I was hoping was a slightly larger reenactment of our intimate declaration.
“Not just a pretty face, my Dave.” Taylah smiled adoringly, probably wondering why she hadn’t thought of the idea herself. “Though I think we should get whoever you choose to do one of those online minister things, you know church of Star Wars or whatever it is.”
“I’m sure there is no church of Star Wars Tay, but I guess it can’t hurt. It will piss off their arsehole of a lawyer a little more.” I shrugged, knowing that there were definitely a few websites that offered online courses which authorised lay people to perform wedding ceremonies. And while the legalities weren’t up for contention, I couldn’t help rubbing a little salt in the wound of Sol who was still livid that Alex dare marry me without a pre-nup.