by Lexi Blake
Bibi was past her initial embarrassment and chose to continue her tirade on my behalf. “Her Grace can go wherever she wants. Who are you, a servant, to tell her what she can and cannot do?”
“It’s all right, Bibi.” I needed to make a few concessions. “I am sure the chef is good at his job. I can just eat whatever the others eat.”
Albert sighed deeply, his disappointment an actual weight in the room. “Very well then, mistress. I will allow him to toss out my cilantro with the trash. It is what began this sad situation. He doesn’t view it as a proper herb.”
Now he had all of our attentions. Neil, Lee, and I were all Southwesterners. We liked our cilantro.
“Just what were you making with that cilantro, Al?” Lee asked, and I could hear his stomach rumble. Lee was always ready to eat.
The demon shrugged coyly. “In honor of my mistress’s blessed state, I thought that I would make a lunch of enchiladas, rice, and beans. It’s my mistress’s favorite. Sadly, the palace chef doesn’t believe Tex-Mex is worthy of his kitchens. I should warn you, my mistress, that he’s also told me I’m not allowed to fry anything. He doesn’t understand your cultural need to fry everything possible in hot grease.”
“What the hell are you making for lunch?” Lee asked the faery chef.
His superior smile said it all. “I am creating a summer salad of all the freshest ingredients. It will be topped with morning dew I collected from the finest flowers of our royal gardens.” All of this was said in hushed tones as though this was a great and honored meal fit for kings or queens.
Unfortunately, I had to feed wolves. They weren’t big on salads.
Neil looked at Lee with desperation on his face. “He has to go.”
Lee turned to me. “It’s your decision, Zoey. You’re the one who has to deal with the consequences.” He shook his head at Neil. “No, we have to trust Zoey. She’ll either pick the nonconfrontational route that gets all of us a meal of freaking morning dew or she’ll go with beef and cheese.”
“Please go with beef and cheese,” Neil pleaded. “I don’t think I’ll like morning dew. It doesn’t sound filling. Is it anything like Mountain Dew?”
“Did I mention the chocolate pie I made earlier that he wanted to throw out with the cilantro?” Albert asked.
“Faeries do not eat this chocolate of yours,” the chef informed me with an aristocratic huff.
“Dev does,” Neil pointed out. He did. Especially chocolate sauce since he liked to lick it off my body.
“You,” I said to the chef, raising my voice in my most regal fashion. “Out.”
My need to be ladylike completely lost to my need for chocolate. I had nine months to eat whatever I liked and fool myself into thinking my body would just bounce back after the baby was born. I wasn’t about to waste that time on morning dew, which I was pretty sure didn’t have anything to do with Mountain Dew.
“I shall take this up with Her Majesty,” the chef promised as he turned and huffed out.
I looked at Albert. “You, start frying tortillas.”
Albert smiled, completely satisfied. “It’s already done. I merely need to bake the entrée, mistress. In the meantime,” he began, placing a large platter on the table, “I took the time to make an appetizer of pulled pork nachos. Please enjoy.”
Neil actually drooled as he and Lee started in on the nachos. “I love you, Albert.”
“And I’m fond of you, Neil.” Albert checked the temperature of the ovens with his usual air of competence. He put the platters in and turned to me with a suspicious look as I tried to hide the fact that I was feeding the black dogs under the table. “Mistress, you wouldn’t happen to know why the brownies have suddenly stopped their routine cleaning?”
I shrugged because I was totally at a loss. I savored the greasy goodness of the nachos while Shuck thumped his tail, impatient for another. “Why would I know that? Besides, my rooms were perfectly cleaned.”
Neil nodded and answered around a mouthful of nachos. “My bed was made this morning and it wasn’t me or Zack.”
“Apparently the brownies have gone to the head housekeeper and they are demanding something they call ‘flavors,’” Albert said, his mouth turned down.
“Oh, crap.” Yeah, that was me, too. I had to hope the Seelie wanted this baby or I might get us all tossed out. I decided to try to feign innocence. “Would you believe me if I said I know nothing about it?”
“Not at all, mistress,” Albert intoned with a patient sigh. One hoof tapped along the marbled floor.
I tried to come up with a way to tell the story that made me look as innocent as possible. I hadn’t meant to cause a revolt, after all. “Well, you know how the brownies clean up and all you have to do to keep them happy is leave out a small bowl of cream?”
“Yes, I’m aware of the exchange.”
“I thought it might be fun to leave them shots, like what you get in a diner to put in your coffee,” I explained. “So I might have gone to Costco and brought in a couple of crates of flavored cream. I might have exchanged it for their regular cream. I mean the poor things have to eat the same damn cream every day. Let’s switch it up, people. Right? It’s no big deal, Al, just a little hazelnut and vanilla cream. Maybe some caramel.”
Albert shook his head. “Mistress, I hope you brought enough. They all wish to try the flavors. If you continue to feed strange creatures, we will be returning to our home with a menagerie. We’ll have to start a zoo.”
Barghest whined at my feet, proving Albert’s point.
Just at that moment the door swung open and two goblins entered. They were short but fierce looking, with leathery skin and red eyes. They swaggered in, their eyes going directly to me.
“We demand flesh and blood,” the tallest one said.
“Okay, I’ll go with my patent response of ewww,” I said with a glance at my wolves, who seemed to not care that two fierce warriors had accosted me. They were far too busy downing nachos.
“We’re hungry, human,” the shorter one said. “We demand our midday meal as is our right. You’re our hosts. You’ll give us flesh and blood. We don’t eat greenery.”
“Amen, brother,” Lee said with a growl and a manly belch.
“I don’t have any flesh and blood.” I looked down at the goblins. I doubted Albert had thought to bring along packets of blood and hunks of flesh. Though now that I thought about it, it might have been a good idea.
They looked me over with toothy grins. There was no lust in their eyes. I think they were wondering how many burgers they could get out of me. “You certainly have plenty of flesh, my lady, and you’re full of blood.”
I reached out and slapped him right on his scraggly head.
His clawed hand reached up and massaged his forehead. “The human hit me.”
“She did,” the other goblin replied, looking at me curiously. “Does she intend to start a war?”
“No,” I said, hitting the other one just as firmly. I didn’t have to play the lady with the Unseelie. They would just see it as a weakness. “But I’m not going to be intimidated and I’m certainly not going to be your meal. Now, you’re welcome to join us for our lunch if you can behave. We’re having enchiladas.”
Lee slapped at the table, giving me a stern frown. “Yeah, a small portion if you keep inviting people in. You’re already planning on feeding those damn dogs.”
The taller goblin gave me a disdainful look. “We don’t eat anything called enchiladas. Seelie food is distasteful. It’s shit.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up a particularly pork-filled chip. While the goblin was complaining about all things Seelie, I shoved it in his mouth.
He sputtered and choked and then finally managed to chew for a moment. He looked at his friend. “We’re staying for lunch.”
Albert sighed deeply. “We’ll have to begin an Unseelie wing in the penthouse,” he warned. “Please, mistress, do not feed the sluagh the skittles I know you smuggled in. I have no wish to
clean an aviary.”
I chewed my food and promised nothing.
Chapter Nine
Neil was quiet as we moved from the banquet hall into the grand ballroom later that night. He’d been contemplative most of the day after the episode with Herne. Zack had managed to blow the whole thing off but Neil had issues. He’d been nearly silent the whole rest of the day, preferring to be my bodyguard rather than the BFF role he usually took. He’d stayed by my side, but I caught him glancing warily Herne’s way from time to time. I knew he was thinking about that time in Vegas when Daniel had been able to force his will on him.
He stood in one of the open doorways, looking out over the water. The grand ballroom was open to the night and overlooked a field with a winding stream that gleamed silver in the moonlight. In Faery, they didn’t worry about mosquitoes or rainstorms. The night was merely another lovely setting and they took advantage. Neil watched the fields in the distance, but it didn’t seem to calm him. The moon was only half full but I wondered if he wanted to run.
“Is he all right?” Sarah asked, her eyes worried.
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I think Herne is bringing back bad memories. He didn’t have a choice. One minute he was Neil and the next minute he was a wolf with a new master.”
“It’s creepy.” She looked back to where Dev and Danny were seated with Herne. The three were talking and laughing and generally getting along. The Hunter had been silent and his host was a jovial man.
“I’m sure it felt that way for Neil.”
“I was talking about the whole ‘sharing your body with a god’ thing. I hadn’t thought about it before. I mean, Bris is so gentle,” Sarah said, watching Herne. “Besides being constantly horny and having no qualms about public sex, he’s helpful, you know. I was having trouble with the basil in my garden and he was so sweet about it. I can’t imagine that hunter guy is helpful. And from what you told me, he’s a Neanderthal. Join the twenty-first century, dude.”
“I don’t think you can think of him as a dude, Sarah. He isn’t a man and he never was. He’s the spirit of the hunt. The way it works, the vessel and the god have to be somewhat well matched or they can’t bond. It’s one of the reasons it took Bris so long to find a proper vessel. Dev and Bris are similar. No matter how nice Herne may seem, he has a lot in common with the Hunter or he wouldn’t be in there.”
“Are you all right with Bris being the father of your baby?” Sarah never shied away from the tough questions.
“Dev and Daniel will be the fathers,” Neil corrected. He’d come up behind me and laid a hand on my shoulder.
“I was talking about the fact that Bris was inhabiting the body when Zoey got pregnant,” Sarah clarified.
Neil shrugged. “So, who gives a crap? There’s a lot more to being a dad than two seconds’ worth of orgasm. The big question is who’s going to take care of the kid once he’s here and the answer is Dev and Daniel. Don’t try to make this into one of those daytime talk shows where they shock the baby daddy with surprise DNA tests.”
“Neil, it’s nothing that hasn’t crossed my mind.” I understood why he was so touchy. His own father had been horrible. He’d kicked Neil to the curb and then sent the pack to torment him because he’d been different. Neil wasn’t too big on biological fathers.
He smiled as his brain took him in strange directions. “Though it would be a funny episode. Once they told Dev he wasn’t the biological father, do you think he would beat the crap out of himself? How would the bouncers handle that?”
“Let’s not find out,” I murmured, wincing because the Duke of Ain was approaching.
“Your Grace.” The duke bowed obsequiously. Apparently the more they scraped the floor, the more respect they were showing. “I was thrilled to hear the news of your delicate condition. It is such a boon to Faery that the prince will have a child to pass on his magnificent magic to.”
I didn’t like Gilliana’s father. He was lean with blond hair and cold blue eyes. When he looked at me, I felt like he was sizing me up. I’d been told by Bibi that Braden was a cousin of the queen and considered important throughout the realm. He held vast lands to the north that were crucial both agriculturally and in trade. He’d also wanted to get rid of the queen’s son when he was proven mortal. I was having a hard time smiling and placating the man. The only reason he tolerated my husband was that “magnificent magic” of his.
“Thank you.” I gave him my fakest smile, hoping to get this encounter over with in a hurry. Perhaps I could use this whole “baby mama” thing to my advantage. I could talk about how tired I was and go cuddle up with one of the books I’d brought. “It’s early, though. I hardly feel pregnant at all except for the exhaustion.”
Sarah and Neil looked at me with suspicious eyes. I’d been energetic all day.
“I am sure you will feel the pressure soon enough, Your Grace,” Braden said snidely, to my mind.
“Pressure?” It was an odd choice of words.
He nodded. “Well, all of Faery will anxiously await the birth of this child. Our fertility is practically nonexistent. It is better on the Seelie side, of course. We are the blessed court. Providence favors us. The Unseelie haven’t seen a new generation for many years. If your child is truly gifted with his father’s fertility magic then we have hope. It must be a great burden to have a whole kingdom’s fate resting in your womb.”
I was still getting used to the idea of having a baby at all. I was getting used to the idea of changing diapers and breast feeding and not sleeping at night. I was wondering how easy it was going to be to raise a kid when we lived over a nightclub. I was picturing Albert settling into his nanny duties. I wasn’t ready to think about the fact that my baby had political implications.
“Don’t scare my sister-in-law,” Declan ordered, coming in from the field where he had been “walking” with a pretty brunette. They split up now, but she glanced back at him with the hint of a smile as she walked off to join her friends. There was still grass in his hair, and I wondered how he could ever smooth talk a woman into lying on the ground for him. I supposed he could always use that whole “I’m going to be your king” thing. He might just order them to. I wouldn’t put it past him.
“I was merely letting Her Grace know how much I admire her for taking on the challenge,” Braden said with the smooth tones of a courtier.
Declan frowned, his mouth turning to a pout. “Well, it is not a grand talent. She spread her legs for my brother, he spent his seed, and nature took its course. She is human. They breed like rabbits. I am much more impressed with her fellatio skills.”
I reached over and punched my brother-in-law on the arm. “You’re such a jerk.”
He shrugged. I was sure he’d been called worse. “Well, I only speak the truth. While I am thrilled with your fully functional sex organs, I am not going to worship you for your womb.”
Braden ignored our immature fight. I was sure having been around Declan all of Dec’s life, he was used to the brat prince. “I was merely explaining that her child could be important to the Seelie.”
Declan’s green eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think it. My brother would never allow that to happen.”
“What’s he talking about?” The subtext eluded me.
“He is pointing out the fact that the Unseelie have no priest,” Declan explained. His words were slightly slurred. “They have no fertility magic. In the past, they had one or two priests, but almost all of them were half Seelie. Over the years, the two courts have grown more insular. We rarely interbreed. The Unseelie lost their last priest over two hundred years ago. They survive because of our priests. My grandfather was a tolerant man.”
“A great man,” Braden corrected.
“Yes, yes, he was a great man but he was friendly with the monsters, too,” Declan continued. “He spent as much time in the Unseelie sithein as he did in his own. He was more than willing to perform the necessary rites. There has been talk among certain factions of withh
olding our blessings from the Unseelie.”
“This is what Herne was talking about.” I finally understood exactly why the Unseelie were so upset. “You threatened them. You told them Devinshea wouldn’t work with them.”
“You have no idea what they are capable of.” Declan stared down at me, anger plain in his eyes. “You have no idea what it means to be at their mercy when they have none. After what Devinshea went through, I do not see how he can stand to be in the same room with them, much less help them to make more monsters.”
Dev had his grandfather’s tolerance. “He doesn’t judge the whole of the Unseelie for the actions of a few.”
“Do you know why we were there, Zoey?” Declan asked. I’d heard the tale, seen it with my own eyes on a quick trip to the Hell plane. He and Devinshea had lived with the Unseelie for a year when they were seventeen and Dev had been assaulted.
“Dev told me your mother sent you to test your strength.” The exact words Dev had used, however, had been that she sent them there to be tortured.
Braden took up the point now. “It is an old rite of passage. It had to be done. Miria was furious when Devinshea chose to go with his brother, but she could not talk him out of it. If Declan had refused to go, he would never be able to be king.”
“This child you carry, he will be important,” Declan said, his words softer now. “But he will be a priest. He will not be asked to take that rite of passage, nor will any brother of his. My son will. So I say let them fade. Bring on the war that finally separates us once and for all so I never have to stand at the gates and watch my son as Mother had to watch me.”
Declan turned and walked away.
“You will have to forgive His Highness,” Braden requested. “His time with the Unseelie left him…unsettled.”
I watched as Declan walked to the tables and ordered a drink. He grabbed the bottle straight out of the servant’s hands and took a long swig as he watched his brother talking to Daniel and Herne. There was something dark in his eyes that made me worry.