by Chris Reher
“I’ll see if I can get a little more wind into our sails,” Jovan said. “Did anyone make breakfast?”
* * *
There was something oddly hypnotic about feeling her breath tear through her throat, her heart pound in her chest as if trying to escape from there, and the steady pace of running nowhere.
Cyann’s view of the planet below was a panorama afforded by the Repha Zi’s generous observation window, relieving the tedium of her carefully controlled and monitored exercise routines. Her eyes were on the curving horizon, swathed so thickly in a pinkish atmosphere that no landmasses were seen from orbit.
But her thoughts were far away, couched in the deep meditative state of a khamal, following Jovan’s recommendation to lose herself in the unthinking, automatic movements of her body on this treadmill while trying to cast her mind outward in the hopes of somehow, somewhere, contacting the Tughan Wai.
There was nothing. No voice calling to her from outside or within herself. No eerie feeling that she was not alone. There was no one here but the crew of this vessel, each of them palpable to her in this state of mind. Some of them asleep, some working in the labs and observatories, several aboard the Air Command cruisers docked to the main vessel. Centauri, Human, a few Caspians and several Delphians. All familiar, all belonged here.
“Are you looking for me or actually planning to exercise?” she said and slowed the treadmill to a fast pace.
Anders Devaughn walked past her to look out over the planet. “I’m losing my touch,” he said. “You caught me this time. You’re up late.”
“As are you. How are things coming along?” she asked, meaning Tychon and Jovan’s efforts to find their way through the keyhole located within this solar system. Patiently, they had mapped several possible exits, using the trajectory demonstrated by the alien’s capsule and the astronomer’s predictions of the anomaly’s orbit. Soon, they would use one of the cruisers to launch through the breach in the hopes of detecting the approaching object on the other side.
“Slowly.” He shrugged. “And here?”
She shook her head. None of her efforts, or Jovan’s attempts at helping her reach farther outside herself, had brought results. Just as well that they had not yet told the others about the Shantirs’ suspicions about Kiran, she thought. “Still working on it,” she assured Anders. “I’m learning a lot from Jovan.”
“Oh? Shantir secrets?”
“I wish! He’s making sure I mind my own business.” She stopped the exerciser. It was nearly time to find Jovan for one of the healing treatments that had become so important to her. The crawling, anxious, restless mental state she still felt at times was beginning to nag at her and she ached for the relief Jovan was able to offer.
“I’m going to spend some time with Tychon and Nova,” Anders said. “Why don’t you join us for a bit, since you’re up anyway?”
“Ah, thanks, but I think I’ll just spin through decon and then get some sleep.”
“Sure? Nova and I are going to drink wine so that you and your father can frown at us and act superior, seeing how you don’t indulge in such pollution.”
She glanced at him sharply. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, you know. Nothing more sober than a Delphian.”
“You make that sound like an accusation.” Was he hinting at something? Did he know?
He seemed bewildered. “Just joking, Cy. You’re awfully tense for someone just off the treadmill. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, why?”
“You seem a little... strained. Are you sure your exercises with Jovan aren’t taxing you too much?”
“I’m fine, Anders. Tell them I said good night.”
He nodded but didn’t seem convinced. “See you in the morning.”
She watched him leave, already regretting her sharp words. She debated catching up with him in the hall outside to take him up on his offer. Certainly, her parents would welcome some time with their daughter. All of them had careers that rarely saw them in the same place for very long and she missed them.
But Jovan would be looking for her and that thought was enough to make her hurry to the Scout moored safely to the Union ship to get cleaned up. He would relieve that itchy craving inside her head but it was also his calm, powerful presence, focused on her alone, that she craved more with each passing day.
He was not yet aboard the Scout when she got there and still hadn’t arrived by the time she had changed her clothes and returned to the ship’s common area. Surely, he and Tychon had concluded their day’s work by now. She resisted the urge to call over to the observatory to find out if they were still there. Instead, she tidied up a little, mostly by pacing around and moving things from one place to another. After a while of this she called up something to read but soon got tired of it. When she tried to concentrate on some work nothing seemed to fit into her brain and the images on the screen blurred and hurt her eyes. Where was he?
She paced from one end of the ship to the other and back again, beginning to feel a little panicked. His treatments of the residual effects of the brutally damaging khamal induced by Shantir Tava on Delphi had become a vital part of her day. She wondered if she was becoming dependent on that, too, now. She cursed silently, angry for bringing all of this upon herself.
How could he be so inconsiderate as to leave her waiting like this?
More than an hour later she heard the soft hiss of the airlock door opening. She rushed to the entrance, hoping that it wasn’t Nigel or Anders returning for the night. With relief, she saw Jovan stoop through the door.
“There you are!” she said. “I’ve been worried.”
“About what? It’s not like you can get lost up here.”
“Well, I mean... I thought you might have decided to stay over there tonight.”
“I thought about it,” he said. “Damn tired. Your father is a slave driver.”
Her smile faded. “You thought about it? I was waiting for you.”
He walked past her into the main lab. “Were you? Sorry.”
“I’d think you’d notice. I’m not in... not feeling so good. I was hoping you could... We could work together a little.”
“Need your fix, Little Blue?” he said. “Maybe it’s time you got over this. You don’t need me anymore. You can do this yourself.”
“What? No, I can’t.”
“You can. And you will. I’m too tired, Cyann. My brain went to sleep two hours ago. You’re just going to have to deal with it.” He bent over the console that linked the Scout to the Union ship’s astrophysics lab.
She gripped his arm. “Please, Jovie. I feel terrible. I won’t be able to sleep.”
“You’ll be fine,” he promised and pulled away. “You’re in no danger now. This isn’t easy for me, either, you know.”
“What is?”
“Maintaining that khamal with you. It’s exhausting.”
“Why didn’t you say that before?”
He shrugged absently, his eyes on an overhead screen. “Because you needed it. You don’t anymore.”
“It’s difficult because I’m not all Delphian, is that what you’re saying?”
Jovan frowned and paused as if considering her question. “I suppose.”
Stunned, she searched his bland, closed-off expression and saw nothing there but fatigue. “You... you don’t like it? Joining with me? You never said so.”
“I know how touchy you are about being half Human.”
“Touchy?” she whispered.
“Something else you’ll have to get over. You are what you are. Maybe it’s time to admit that and get on with it. Live your life and quit looking for approval from Delphi.”
She stared at him, speechless.
He pointed at his head. “So your brain works a little differently. So what? You’re short for a Delphian. And you have a few freckles. Why do you worry about stupid things?”
She touched her face. He knew quite well that the pale sprinkle of blue p
igment across her nose, a gift from her unapologetically red-haired mother, had bothered her since she was very small. He had comforted her more than once when the teasing of other children had brought her to tears.
Those tears now threatened to spill and she bit her lip, angry and hurt by his words, unable to fight through the distracting haze that he refused to remedy. “Don’t talk like that,” she said, more angry yet when her voice sounded pleading even to her own ears.
“All right, I won’t,” he said and turned to the door. “Need to get some sleep anyway.”
“Jovan!”
He sighed. “I’m not talking to you if you’re going to snivel like that.”
She ground her teeth, almost painfully. “Yes, I’ve had enough of you, too,” she said, furious now. “I don’t know why you’re being a jerk, but I don’t like it. Go get your beauty sleep, if that’s so important to you. Don’t let my mental problems keep you up a moment longer.”
“They probably will,” he said, still without any expression she could read. When had he ever seemed so utterly blank to her? “Another reason for you to finally shake this nonsense. You’re distracting me all day long.” He gestured at the screen monitoring the keyhole. “We have work to do, so get your head together and do your damn share!”
She saw that his hands had balled into fists. The blue eyes had turned dark and foreboding. What had she done to deserve his ire? His contempt? She had always been so sure of his concern for her welfare and respect for her family that she did not think him capable of anything but unquestioning, unconditional loyalty. Seeing an end to his patience was a painful blow. But what right did she have to burden him with her demands? He had returned to find her still occupied with microbes and test tubes, living safely at home, beset with emotional issues that he no doubt found tedious and distasteful. And he’d finally had enough. She felt his disappointment in her like a cold draft in the room.
Hear me.
Cyann froze and her eyes widened in surprise when these words entered her thoughts.
Help me.
“I’m here,” she whispered.
Jovan stepped closer to her. “What is it?”
She shook her head, all of her attention on the weak signal from somewhere out there, that tenuous touch on her mind that threatened to slip away at any moment. “Kiran,” she said finally. “Kiran? Is that you?”
Jovan gripped her arm even as he leaned over to slap at some of the controls on the lab’s console to connect his neural interface to the ship. She slumped against him when he drew her close and then she felt him inside her mind, lending her the strength and power of his abilities. “Don’t let him go, Cy,” he said urgently.
“Kiran,” she said again, barely aware when Jovan lowered her onto Nigel’s threadbare lounger, still wrapped in his embrace.
Pain. Don’t pain.
“Are you hurt?” she asked.
You. You hurt.
“No,” she said, smiling through tears of joy now. “I’m fine. Are... are you Kiran?”
A pause. Yes? came a somewhat uncertain reply.
“Where are you? How can we find you?”
Silence.
“I’m losing him, Jovan,” she said.
He looked up at the screen. “Hang on a little longer,” he said, sounding strained.
“Talk to me. Where are you?”
Here?
Cyann fought a wave of dizziness, knowing it was affecting Jovan as well. “Can you find us?”
No. You find. You come. You. You.
“I will come.”
You and you. You you come.
“Jovan?” she said. “You want Jovan to come, too?”
Jovan. You name?
She smiled. “Cyann.”
They sensed a fleeting moment of amusement when she said her name.
Come soon. Hurry. Dead soon.
“Who, Kiran? Who’s dying?”
All.
Both Jovan and Cyann collapsed back into the sprung couch cushions when the fragile contact with Kiran dissolved and the tension that had held their bodies rigid left them. She allowed Jovan to maintain their mental link to once again use his Shantir training to heal and soothe. He stroked her hair as he did so, perhaps without realizing it, and she remained in his embrace to listen to the steady beat of his heart under her cheek.
“You did that on purpose,” she said finally.
“Yes. I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of her head. “Forgive me?”
She sat up, slowly, but allowed him to keep an arm around her shoulder. “You hoped I’d get upset enough to catch his attention. Clever.”
He smiled tiredly. “I didn’t want to hurt you. But nothing else was working.”
“Did you mean any of that?”
He thought a moment. “Yes, I suppose I did. Some of it. You don’t need me to heal you. You can do that yourself. You’re not sick or weak and you don’t need a personal Shantir to hold your hand. You’re stronger than you think.” He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “And I adore your freckles. I always have.”
She sighed. “But you don’t like to join with me.”
“When did I say that?”
“You said it bothers you. It’s a strain.”
He grinned. “I’m a Shantir, Cy. I can join a tree if I had to, strain or not. There is nothing you can do to keep me out of your head. I love it in there.”
“You do?”
“I always have.” He brushed his fingers across her cheek. “It just about killed me talking to you like that.”
The sound of the Scout’s airlock startled both of them. Moments later Anders came into the room.
“Did it work? It worked, didn’t it?” He rushed to the lab console and called up the program Jovan had been running. “Have we found our exit?”
“I think so,” Jovan said, his eyes still on Cyann. “I’m not touching those numbers till the morning. We’re both ready to pass out.”
Cyann glowered at Anders with narrowed eyes. “You were in on this?”
“It was his idea,” Jovan said. “I’d never come up with anything so heinous.”
“You’re welcome,” Anders said. “Took a lot of arguing for me to talk him into it, so you can blame me entirely. So? Is it Kiran? Were the Shantirs right?”
Cyann nodded. “Yes, it’s him. I’m sure of it.”
Anders exhaled a soft whistle. “Amazing. So who’s going to explain all this to Tychon?”
* * *
For a man whose long-lost son had suddenly appeared in the far reaches of their galactic sector, Tychon took the news remarkably well.
He had listened without interruption as Cyann and Jovan explained the Shantirs’ suspicions about Kiran’s whereabouts. There was little more than a raised eyebrow when he heard about Cyann’s recent contact. It was Nova who paced in agitation, who scolded everyone including the absent Shantir Moghen for keeping secrets, and who obviously worried about Tychon’s reaction to all of this.
But her mate simply reclined silently in his lounger, waiting until the others had finished their story and then looked over the proposed coordinates that Jovan had gleaned during their contact with Kiran. He pursed his lips and hummed to himself before lifting the thin display screen in his hand. “You’re sure about this exit?”
Jovan nodded. “As sure as I can be without processors crunching the numbers. That is where that... signal came from.”
“The voice.” Tychon’s eyes shifted to Cyann. “Looks like you were right all along that someone’s trying to reach you.”
“How is this even possible?” she said. “How can he find me so far away? And without contact? Without touching me.”
“I’ve seen it done,” Nova said, looking to Tychon. “Once.”
Tychon nodded. “Yes, it’s possible. And we don’t know what distance was involved. Given what we know about the Tughan, he can span anything. It would be simple for him to jump all over Trans-Targon without anyone knowing about it. If he’s alive and
able to travel, he could even have been back on Delphi.”
“But now he’s left the sector,” Jovan said. “And he’s calling for help.”
“Why would this Tughan need anyone’s help?” Nigel said. “If he’s got such a big Shantir brain, I mean.”
“He still needs a ship to get around, doesn’t he?” Cyann asked. “He could simply be stuck out there without coolant. Reason enough to send someone else to warn us about the asteroid.”
“Maybe he's not such an awful lad,” Nigel said.
“He’s no lad,” Tychon said. “Physically, he’d be middle-thirty now. But he was already far older than that when he left us.” He stared off into the distance for a moment before continuing. “We have no way to know what he’s like now. What he's become. Or what he wants.”
“So let’s find out,” Cyann said. “We know where to exit the keyhole. Let’s just go look.”
“Just like that?” Jovan smiled at her.
“Yeah.”
“Let's not get too excited about this," Nova sat down beside Tychon and took the screen from him. “Well, okay, I’m excited, too, but we don't know for sure that Kiran is anywhere near the cloud. And the cloud is our priority. We can’t leave here until we know its position and when we can expect it to get here.”
“You don't think these things are related?” Jovan asked.
“I do, but I also think it's likely that he's lost somewhere. This is the Tughan. If he was worried about an asteroid he'd just deflect it. Believe me, he can. The most likely possibility is that he’s on a planet out there. Or some satellite from which he sent the alien to warn us. We can't go chasing after him unless we're sure that we're not about to be pummeled by meteoroids coming from elsewhere.”
“So what do you suggest?” Cyann said. “We have to go to him. I promised we would.”
“Without knowing what’s waiting for you on the other side of the breach?”
“It’s what we do,” Anders said. “Jovan’s jumped without a safety net dozens of times, am I right?”
“Well...” Jovan said. “You’re not supposed to say that out loud in front of the Colonel.”
“And we’ve taken the Scout into some barely mapped regions. It’s why it’s called Scout. There is a chance in a million that we’ll find anything of interest in any point in space and I don’t even remember the last time we had to use our weapons. We’re explorers. So let’s go explore.”