* * *
The end of term and the end of the school year was a very busy time and gave Amanda little time to brood on her situation. There was a summer fair in the grounds of the school, for which each class managed a stall. Also a Sports Day, a Fun Day during which the children came in fancy dress, and a jumble sale, which besides taking jumble from the parents got rid of the left-overs from the Fair. And finally, an Open Day for the parents to come and view the children’s work. This entailed many extra hours, as Amanda wanted to make sure every child had a picture on the wall and a page or two of work mounted and on show. Displays were prepared for the children to make, and several evenings she worked until after ten o’clock to be sure of everything being ready on time, often with Catrin’s help.
The Open Day was a great success, with parents and grandparents and proud aunts and uncles attending, so the school buzzed with excited voices, oohs and aahs and laughter. Every class had chosen a theme for their display and Amanda had, not surprisingly, chosen ‘The Countryside’. Besides pictures and models, they had their small pond on display, plus a real bird’s nest, a snake’s skin and an old wasps’ nest which caused great interest. Many people had lived in the country all their lives and never seen them. It was only when the last of the parents had gone and she was setting about the clearing up that she realised that Heather hadn’t been there.
Her first thought was that she must be ill. Haydn had been among the first but there had been no sign of Heather. She wondered who had collected the girls and was told it was her brother Roy. Heather must be all right or she would have heard, but why hadn’t she shown her face on this, the children’s most important school-day?
Catrin could shed no light on it so, after a reviving cup of tea, she drove to the house next to the Cwm Gwyn Arms to enquire. The girls were ready for bed and their welcoming kiss smelled delightfully of toothpaste and soaped skin.
‘Heather went out for the day,’ Haydn told her. ‘To do some shopping she said. Summer clothes for the girls, I expect.’
Although he smiled and sounded casual, Amanda was made curious by the frown on his face. ‘She’s all right, isn’t she?’ she asked. ‘It isn’t like her to miss something at the school.’
‘Fine – I think she just wanted a break; her last chance without the girls tagging along. I think she said she’s meeting a fiiend.’
‘Do her good,’ Amanda agreed, but wondered who Heather’s friend might be. She was so rarely in anyone’s company except Haydn and the girls.
There were records spread over a low table, their sleeves spread out in a precise pattern. Amanda looked at them and Haydn shrugged.
‘She makes a fuss if I tidy them away. She loves her music.’
‘There are some for the children too, are there?’ she asked.
‘Oh yes. One or two.’
He had said very little but he left her with the impression that he was a man with shoulders heavy with worry. She wished she could discuss the situation with Rhys, but that wasn’t possible.
On the last day of term the children went out loaded with their work, plus the display material Amanda shared between those who wanted it. Large pictures, ungainly models, which their parents wouldn’t thank her for passing on, she thought with a chuckle, but which made the children so proud as they staggered to the gate with them.
She planned a lie-in and a lazy day on the Saturday but woke early, with a feeling of emptiness, to look out at a gloomy, overcast sky. She looked out of the window at clouds that glowered and matched her mood. This was the day on which she and Rhys were to have made their second trip to the cave to the colony of bats. But his previous filming had been successful and he didn’t need to go for a second attempt. There was only the equipment to collect and she wouldn’t be invited now, not even to help carry that. No, it was well and truly over between them. She was here, Rhys was in America and Jessica was with him.
‘What are you planning to do today?’ Catrin asked.
‘I haven’t any plans, but I feel restless. I always do after the hectic end-of-term week. Perhaps I’ll go for a drive.’
‘Fancy a trip into Cardiff?’ Catrin suggested, but Amanda shook her head.
After a light breakfast of which Amanda ate very little, Catrin said, ‘I’ll see to the dishes, dear, if you want to get off.’ She frowned at the sad expression on Amanda’s face. ‘But remember, you don’t have to be alone. I’ll come with you if you wish.’
‘Thank you, Catrin, but I wouldn’t be very good company today. I’m tired. It’s been a busy couple of weeks.’
‘Why not go and see your friend Gillian? And Roy? You haven’t seen either of them since Roy went back to live at the Harris’s.’
Amanda collected her camera and the flask of coffee and some sandwiches Catrin insisted on her taking, and set off in the car without any goal in mind.
She drove past Rhys’s bungalow without a glance, but at the cottage where Jessica had been staying she stopped the car. If only I could talk to Jessica once more, she sighed.
The place was empty of course. Jessica had been afraid of criticism and gossip and had left at once for America, where no one would learn about her less than perfect past. She had taken Rhys away too, leaving her with nothing.
Looking at the empty house, it was as if Jessica had been nothing more substantial than a dream. And Rhys, was he a dream too? Was love something unattainable for her? Something she would never win?
Guiltily, she reflected that she had taken something from Jessica in her search for her family. Jessica’s peace of mind, her confident conviction no one knew about her being a mother of two. Children in their twenties at that. What distress that must be causing, and all for no purpose. What a mess.
She returned to the car swamped with a feeling of guilt. She was shamed by her mother’s final rejection. But she had forced the woman to look at something she hadn’t wanted to face. Jessica had a life of her own and she had forced herself in and tried to disturb it.
She suddenly wanted to see Roy. At least she had him, and she should be grateful. Roy was comfortably settled back in his own room at the Harris’s. Still working around the houses of Tri-nant, driving to and fro in his impressive car, but living in an uneasy peace with Gillian’s parents.
The reason for the change of attitude was an ultimatum from their daughter. Gillian had told them she was expecting a child and was going to marry Roy.
Their first reaction had been to refuse to allow it. Why compound one mistake with another, they argued, but Gillian threatened to go away and never see them again if they refused to accept Roy, so they surrendered.
When Amanda knocked on their door she was surprised and, at first, delighted to become involved in the preparations for the wedding, which was to take place on August twenty-first.
‘We’re goin’ to have a baby, Mand. What d’you think of that, then? You’ll be an auntie and I’ll be a dad!’
Shock was brief and delight was her emotion when the news was given.
‘Our own family, Roy! We’re starting a family of our own!’ she said, hugging her future sister-in-law.
‘The Clifford dynasty, Mand,’ Roy said hugging them both. ‘Them two weren’t best pleased at first, mind, but they’re happy now. A baby is always good news, eh, Mand?’
‘Yes,’ Amanda laughed. ‘Wonderful news.’
‘What about us coming to live with you in Firethorn Cottage?’ Roy asked. ‘Plenty of room for us all and Catrin will be out of it from October, won’t she?’ He turned to look affectionately at Gillian. ‘Imagine, love, our first being born in a place where our ancestors lived. Romantic, eh?’
‘Sorry, Roy, but I don’t even know if Catrin will be leaving. As for myself, well, my plans are far from clear at the moment.’
‘Mand. You wouldn’t let a stranger live in the place and see me and Gillian and our baby without a home, would you?’ He looked at her, his smile trying to force her to copy it, using every inch of his charm. ‘Joki
n’ you are, aren’t you? Yes, for sure. There’s a tease you are, Mand. Didn’t I tell you she’s a terrible tease, Gill?’
Realising it wasn’t working, he felt a sudden and rare surge of anger. She owed him this. Hadn’t he played the role of brother all these years? She wasn’t going to find out he was no relation. That Jessica woman would have known, but she was safe back in America. She’d have to be reminded about how close they were and that her duty was to share her good fortune with him. ‘Come out and have a spot of dinner with me,’ he offered. ‘Gill and Mam will be busy talking frocks for ages yet.’ He would have to make her see how wrong it would be to refuse them, her own kin – or so she thought!
* * *
They ate at a small café, eating fish and chips and a plateful of bread and real butter which was still a luxury even after several weeks of ration-free shopping. While they lingered over a pot of tea, Roy persuaded her to talk.
‘Where you off to then, Mand? Going somewhere nice?’
‘I would have been going to a cave, miles from any main road, to collect Rhys’s equipment after some final filming of the bats flying out late in the evening. But he’s in America and I can’t go alone.’
‘That cave you told me about, where you and Rhys went a few weeks back?’ He gave Amanda a mock serious frown. ‘You mean his expensive gear is up there in the mountains and you aren’t going to get it? Fine friend you are!’
‘It’s nothing to do with me.’
‘Have you had a falling out?’
‘Well, yes.’
‘Then go and get it for him, do it for a friend, wouldn’t you?’
‘I can’t go there alone, and it’s his worry, not mine.’ She was aware of sounding childish, but it was easier than trying to explain.
‘But it’s Rhys’s stuff and even if he isn’t the love of your life, like Gillian is mine, you would like to be friends, wouldn’t you? Or can’t you manage to be a friend? Love or hate, nothin’ in between? You aren’t one of them, are you, Mand?’ He smiled, punched her shoulder playfully. ‘Go on, go and surprise him by rescuing his stuff before it’s ruined or stolen. Expensive stuff, that camera equipment. Show him you’re a friend, Mand.’
‘I hoped to be more,’ she said.
‘Better than nothin’ though, being a friend.’ He watched her for a while then asked again about letting Gillian and himself share the cottage.
‘No, Roy,’ she said firmly. ‘But I will help you find somewhere really nice, I promise.’
‘Thanks Mand. And I hope you and that Rhys get together so you and I will both be settled and happy. Go on, go and get his stuff from that cave, is it?’
It seemed the most sensible way to spend the day. Plenty of daylight left, it was July after all, and probably light until ten. Three hours to get there and an hour to walk back down to the car. She’d do it and be back before Catrin began to worry about her.
* * *
When Roy told Gillian about their conversation, he looked up at the ever-darkening sky and shuddered. ‘I ’opes she isn’t thinking of going today. Look at them clouds. Rain for sure before tonight.’
* * *
The sky hadn’t broken, it was darker and lower if anything, Amanda thought. There was a strong threat of rain so she stopped in Barry and found a camping shop and bought some waterproof bags she could use to protect the items as she carried them down to the car. It would be a pity to rescue them, then ruin them by carelessness. That wouldn’t endear her to Rhys, even as a friend! Getting into the car she almost threw the packet of sandwiches away but decided that even after a huge meal, she might be glad of them before she got home.
* * *
She drove without thinking, following the route she had taken with Rhys. The journey was dull as low clouds obliterated everything except the road. The distant mountains changed from grey-blue to grey-black and deep purple before disappearing altogether in the gloom. Carrying only a small shoulder bag with the pack of sandwiches and the flask, plus the waterproof covers, she began to follow the animal tracks over the soft, springy turf away from the road.
There were no spendid views today when she reached the top of the rising ground. Everything was hidden by rain clouds. She looked back and noticed that the car was almost invisible and the other side of the road, which dropped down into a valley, was already lost to her sight.
She should have been warned but her mind was so numb with misery she was not thinking in her usual clear-headed way. She walked down into the valley and up the other side and when she crossed the shallow stream she felt pleased that she had remembered the way so well.
She found the path up to the cave and stopped inside it for a drink of coffee and a rest before strapping Rhys’s electronic gadgetry around her. She made sure it was all safely covered in case the threatening clouds precipitated into a downpour.
Before she had travelled more than a few yards down from the entrance, the rain began falling heavily and hissing with a vehemence that blocked out all sight and sound. She bent against the force of it and increased her pace, running where the terrain allowed. The act of bending over misled her and instead of retracing her steps, she over-ran the downward path and soon realised she had wandered too far before changing direction and heading downwards.
Looking around she was frightened. Visibility was absolutely nil. She heard running water and sighed with relief. If she could find the stream she would know where she was. But the fast running stream she found was a new one caused by the rain.
Further down she did find the right place, although she doubted it for several moments. She was horrified at how it had swollen. Again and again she checked but no, she remembered a large stone where she had rested briefly. This was the place, but how was she going to get across?
It widened as she watched. It was no longer a gentle innocent stream such as she had easily crossed before, stepping from stone to stone, but a dark angry torrent. The heavy rain, running so fast over the rocky ground, had filled the river bed and made crossing it by the stepping stones an impossibility.
With the rain pounding the rocks around her, she could not stay there, without shelter or warmth, idly waiting until it eased again to a passable wading depth. It might be July but she could soon be too weak to help herself and be dead by morning. She scrambled back up the way she had come, intending to retreat to the cave. If she could find it again!
Everything looked different. Small spurts of water leapt out to make waterfalls where there had been none, bursting out of small fissures and sending small stones hurtling out of their resting places. And all the time the rain was beating down on her, sidling down her neck and seeping through her summer-weight coat with ease. Thank goodness she had brought covers for the cameras.
The thought of not locating the place of safety in the night-like darkness made her want to shout in despair. It was four o’clock. If she couldn’t find the protection of that cave she might have to spend the night hours alone with nothing to ward off the coldness and wet.
Trying to walk upright and look around her for clues, she went up what she hoped was the correct path, instinctively bending into a crouch to avoid the needle-sharp attack of the raindrops then forcing herself to straighten up again to see her way. In the gloom she searched for a gap, a niche in which she could stand out of the ceaseless torrent. Those she did find had their own individual waterfall and were useless.
Every inch of her was wet. She looked down at the summer jacket she wore, wishing she had thought to put on waterproofs. But she hadn’t intended to climb mountains when she set off that day. That, she thought with growing misery, had been Roy’s idea.
She touched the flask of hot coffee but decided to wait until she reached the cave. Thank goodness she’d had the sense to bring that, there were still several cupfuls left. And the sandwiches were still there, soggy no doubt, but better than being hungry.
She knew her life was in jeopardy. Just looking around her told her that her life could be forfeited
unless luck stayed with her. It had happened so simply. A walk that she had done with Rhys, and which had been like a summer picnic, had become a situation fraught with danger within minutes.
How she would be criticised for being so stupid! But it hadn’t been like that, she wanted to shout. She hadn’t been deluded into thinking the mountains were harmless playgrounds, or beguiled into trusting they would always be the same innocent landscape they had been on that calm clear spring day. She knew the dangers, but her misery had made her careless.
With hands stiff with cold she rearranged the straps around her and, with the rain still beating down, she began to climb again. She was better on the move; standing against a rock face which offered no shelter was pointless.
The weight of the extra luggage pulled on her shoulders and they ached terribly. A sharp pain across her back made her long to leave everything behind. But that was too much effort. She had fixed most of the bags inside her coat for the slight protection it gave and thought sadly that she had probably ruined the equipment she had tried to save.
She felt like crying. The rain showed no sign of stopping and she was stiff and tired, and very chilled. Exhaustion hung about her like wet blankets dragging her, trying to persuade her to lie down, but she moved on, her progress slower as weariness and the weight of her wet clothes weakened her.
The Tangled Web Page 20