by Haley Pierce
“I’m sorry mom,” said Abel. “I’m just frustrated.”
“By the cufflinks? Can’t let them get the best of you, sonny. If cufflinks are the worst of your problems, you’re way ahead of the game.”
“By a lot of things. I had a long talk with Lacey last night.”
“I figured. Where did the two of you go, anyway? I saw the way you were looking at each other. I knew you were up to something.”
“Just outside to talk,” said Abel. “It took longer than I thought it would and by then we weren’t in the mood to come back to the dinner.”
“Ah. I see. What did you talk about? There. All done.”
Abel put on his jacket and shot his cuffs through the sleeves. “Did you know that she never even went to the conservatory? All that talent, the scholarship, and she never even went?”
She brushed the lapels of his jacket. “Turn around.” She straightened his collar. “I did. I’m one of the only people who kept in touch with her. Or I guess, I’m one of the only people she kept in touch with. So yes, I knew she was here.”
“Did she tell you why?” said Abel.
“She told me that she just couldn’t bear to leave. She’d learned that she loved this little town too much. Thought it would be a great place for Dana to grow up. I had my suspicions, but it wasn’t my place.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” said Abel. “When you knew that she’d broken my heart and was ignoring me? You could have made that easier for me.”
“Because I promised I wouldn’t,” she said. “Lacey asked and I promised. You’re my son and I love you to death, but I can’t let my integrity slip just because I gave birth to you. It wasn’t easy, but I kept my word. You’re a big boy. You had to learn this lesson on your own. There was no reason for me to protect you from it.”
“She told me that she did it so I could have a future,” said Abel.
“She told me the same thing.”
“What did you tell her about it, mom? Maybe you could have changed her mind.”
“I said that it was the silliest thing I’d ever heard, but that she had to do what she thought was best for her and her baby. And for you. Honestly, Abel, she was more focused on your well being than I’ve seen someone focused on their own. It was sad, but it was real. That woman has loved you for a long, long time, with an intensity that not everyone gets to feel. I could have pressed her, but she shuts down when pushed, as I’m sure you know. And I’m not in the business of changing anyone’s mind. We all do the best with what we have. You, me, and her.”
“I just don’t know if I can trust her again. I really don’t know what to do,” said Abel.
“Well, it’s good to have principles, but every day teaches you how to live it. You’re going to know what to do. Or say. Or what not to do. Trust yourself, kiddo.”
Abel kissed her on the cheek and finished dressing. He could hear Sasha bustling around downstairs. No matter what his mom had said, he could tell from the sound of Sasha’s voice that there was plenty of last-minute drama and stress.
He imagined that Norman was out there, blowing himself a kiss in the mirror while he adjusted his bowtie. But Norman and Sasha were happy, because they had each other. They understood each other, and, while they would certainly have their share of secrets and fights like any couple, it was easy to see that they made each other’s lives better.
What if Lacey was the only person who could make him feel like that, and she could never fully give herself to him? What if she was willing but he never learned to trust her, after all of the things she had withheld from him?
He shuddered. It shouldn’t have been this hard.
Downstairs, he kissed Sasha on the cheek and told his parents that he was going out for a quick drive to clear his head.
“The women of small town America will thank you after getting a look at you in that tux,” said Sasha.
“They thank me already,” said Abel automatically, but there was nothing playful in his voice. Few things were as exhausting as frustration and worry and all of the unknowns that came with a relationship.
He eased the car out of the driveway. In truth, he had no idea where he was going. He had just needed to get out of the house and on the move. In a few days he’d be back with the team, in a realm he understood. Football was simple. The goal was to win, and there was nothing abstract about it. Your team either had more points at the end of the game or fewer. Win or lose, and no one could argue, or keep secrets. The whole story was right there in the open for everyone to see.
Abel zoned out during the drive and barked a short laugh when he realized he had pulled into the coffee shop were Lacey worked. He realized that they hadn’t talked about today. She was supposed to be his date. Would she be getting ready?
Hesitantly, he went inside Geno’s and asked if Lacey was working today. If she had decided to blow him off again, it wasn’t unthinkable that she might have come here and picked up her shift.
“No,” said one of the other waitresses, “but I have to say that you look scrumptious, Abel. When are you going to take someone to that altar yourself?”
“One day, my friend, one day,” he said. “Hey, if she stops by, just tell her that I was here, okay?”
“Will do. Have a good day, Abel. Tell Sasha congratulations from me.”
Back in his car, he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. A sound rose in back of his head, growing louder and louder.
It was Dana’s laughter. An echo that he never wanted to stop hearing.
“I have a daughter,” he said to himself in the mirror. “And she calls my Princess Fluffy.” With that, the bitter spell of doubt was broken. He put the car in gear and drove through the streets as if he were in a car chase. It was still early and there was no traffic.
When he pulled into the parking lot he stopped and took a deep breath. Had it really only been forty-eight hours since he had shown up here, drunk and shouting, causing a huge scene? Of course, that had also led to showering and sex and the best morning of his life with Dana and Lacey.
The place didn’t look like much, but it held everything he cared about most.
This time, he didn’t vault off of his car and climb over the balcony. He took the stairs two at a time, his long legs slightly wobbly from nerves, but he moved with total conviction. This was the freedom that his money had never been able to give him: freedom from doubt. He knew what he wanted and how he would try to get it. After that, win or lose, he would have peace.
He knocked on Lacey’s door. Within seconds he heard the staccato burst of little fight running down the hall. When the door opened, Lacey was standing there in a plain sundress. Behind her on the couch he could see a lovely gown.
“I think I like that one better,” he said, pointing over her shoulder at it.
Lacey put a hand on his chest. “I wasn’t sure which one I should wear. I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”
“Can I come in?” he said.
Lacey stepped aside. “Of course. Come on into the kitchen and I’ll get you some breakfast. I told Dana to go practice reading for a few minutes while we talked.”
When Abel went into the kitchen, he was thrilled to see a stack of pages on the table, covered in music notation. “Were you writing something?” he said. “Oh my god, that’s great, Lacey! But you don’t even have a piano in here, do you?”
“No, but I don’t need one for the writing,” said Lacey. “Anyway, Sasha did ask me to do that song for her wedding. I figured that I’d better get a little something together, just in case I decided to go. But I really didn’t think you were coming.”
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure either,” said Abel.
“What changed your mind?” Lacey was at the cupboards, looking for something on the top shelf.
Abel went behind her and put his hands on her hips. He kissed the back of her neck softly. She stiffened, and then melted against him. “I had to come get you. I just had to. Lacey, I don’t th
ink it has to be complicated. You and me.”
“But you said that--”
“I’ve said a lot of things, and so have you. But here’s what I know—I love you. I believe that you love me. I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever. I’m pretty sure that part of you feels the same, even if you can’t make yourself say it. What I realized when I was driving was that you and me are responsible for each other’s emotional well being. I sat in that car thinking about how guilty you felt. I know how guilt gnaws a people. You can’t do anything as well when you’re feeling ashamed of yourself. And you, Lacey, are hereby ordered to stop feeling guilty or sad or ashamed of anything in the past, whether it involves me or not.”
Lacey turned around and leaned her head against his chest. His heart beat inside of him like a war drum. “I do feel the same way, Abel. I love you. I always did. I agree that there’s nothing complicated about the fact that I love you. It’s all the other stuff.”
“We’ll work that out. But first things first.”
Lacey took a deep breath. “First things first.” Then she put her hands over her mouth and laughed. “So what’s first, then?”
Abel cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. “First, go tell our daughter to come out here, please. I’ve got an announcement to make.”
Lacey went down the hall and Abel heard her and Dana’s soft voices. He looked around the little kitchen and realized that he had never felt as content as he did in that moment.
“Abel!” said Dana, tromping across the kitchen floor with all of the grace of an excited rhinoceros.
Abel scooped her up and hugged her. “I have a very serious question for you, little lady. Do you have a princess dress?”
“I have thirty-one of them!”
He looked at Lacey over Dana’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows.
“Do I look like I can afford thirty-one princess dresses?” said Lacey. “She just talks, this one. You’ve got a lot to say, don’t you?”
“I do!” said Dana.
“Well then,” said Abel, “what I need for you to do is to go and put on your nicest dress. Your mom’s going to do the same thing. Then I’m going to take you both to my sister’s wedding and everyone’s going to ooh and aah about how lucky I am to be there with you two. What do you say about—”
Dana was already running to her room. They heard her yanking open drawers. “Found it!” she yelled.
“I’ll get changed,” said Lacey. “How long do we have?”
“About an hour.”
While Lacey got ready, Dana came out and sat with Abel. Her dress was baby blue with so many ruffles and ripples on it that she looked like a little tidal wave. He had asked Lacey if he could talk to her about the fact that he was her father, and she had agreed.
“Dana, how would you like to know a secret?” said Abel.
“Yes!”
“It’s not going to be a secret after today, it’s just something that I’ve wanted to tell you since I met you.”
“Okay,” said Dana, growing serious and speaking in a conspiratorial whisper.
Lacey stood in the doorway, listening.
“Dana, what did your mom tell you about your daddy?” said Abel.
Dana squinted, concentrating. “She said that they broke up and he left. She said that didn’t mean that he didn’t love me, he just couldn’t stay with us.”
“Okay,” said Abel. “Well, what would you say if I told you that I was actually your dad? And that I just didn’t know it until a couple of days ago, because there was a big mix-up.”
“You?” Dana leaped to her feet. “You’re my dad? Mom! Did you know that Abel’s my dad!”
Abel laughed.
“I did, and he is,” said Lacey, coming in and kneeling next to Dana. “It’s like he said, it was just a big mix-up. But it looks like we’re going to be able to fix the mistake.” She looked into Abel’s eyes and felt a rush of emotion that made her knees weak.
“And if it’s okay with you,” said Abel, “I’d like to take you and your mom to this wedding, as a family. And after that, we’re never going to be apart again. I love you, and I love her, and I’m not going to let you get away again.”
Dana threw her arms around his neck.
Tears filled Abel’s eyes. Lacey did her best to put her arms around them both.
“And now,” said Abel in a choked voice, “We really do need to get going or Sasha’s going to kill me.”
When they arrived at the chapel, Sasha’s parents came out to greet them. Dana ran up to Emily, turned back at pointed at Abel, and said, “I just learned a huge secret! That’s my dad!”
Emily looked at Lacey, who nodded. “Cat’s out of the bag.”
“Well!” said Emily. “I think that’s the most wonderful news I’ll hear today, even though I’m here for a wedding! I have a secret for you too, Dana. Want to hear it?” “Yes, please.”
“If he’s your dad, that means I’m your grandma. How would you feel about me being your grandma?”
In the ensuing storm of happy shrieks, Abel said, “I think she’s way more excited about that than she was about me.”
“I’ve got a secret too,” whispered Dana in a loud voice. “Sometimes I make him wear a rabbit tail. His name is Princess Fluffy.”
Then they were summoned inside and they took their seats.
Norman was standing at the front of the chapel, smiling so widely that it was hard for Abel not to join in. There was something truly infectious about genuine joy, and Abel was realizing that, as happy as his childhood had been, and as fortunate as he had been in his career, authentic, radiant joy was something that he was feeling for the first time. It could only come from love and family.
The first bars of The Wedding March sounded on the organ. Everyone gasped as Sasha stepped into view, accompanied by her father.
“That is the prettiest dress!” Dana whispered to Lacey.
Abel watched his sister, who was glowing. Then he looked at Lacey. One day—one day soon, if he had anything to say about it—she was going to make this same walk, and she’d be walking towards him.
When the wedding ended, they all moved to the reception venue on the top floor of the hotel they had been in during the rehearsal dinner. Sasha and Norman moved around in a flurry, shaking hands, getting kissed on the cheeks, laughing and dancing as a fantastic live band played on a stage. Abel sat at a table with Lacey and watched Dana on the dance floor, twirling by herself, happy as could be.
“What are you thinking about?” he said.
“Life is weird.” She squeezed his arm. “Wouldn’t you say?”
“Weird in the best way.” He started to say more, but Sasha was on the microphone all of the sudden. Abel was filled with love for her sister, for his daughter, for Lacey, for all of them. It just felt so good it was like he had just learned that he’d never been truly happy before.
“Hey everyone! Again, thank you so, so much for coming out to see me marry that hot beast over there!” Norman stood and bowed. When the applause died down, Sasha continued. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen so many of you. I’m really, truly blessed. But the best thing for me about today, besides Norman, is that I’m finally back with my best friend, Lacey. Lacey! Stand up!”
Lacey stood and waved awkwardly. “I’m blushing! Stop!”
“Everyone loves to see you blush. Hey, everyone stare at her!”
The crowd followed Sasha’s orders and Lacey’s face turned scarlet.
After she stopped laughing, Sasha continued: “Red-faced Lacey over there happens to be the most talented piano player and music writer and basically the best at everything. And it just so happens that I bullied her into writing a song for the wedding. So now, you’re all about to hear the soundtrack for today!”
The bandleader ushered Lacey up to the stage and gestured at the piano. “Ready and waiting!”
Abel watched Lacey, wondering what she was feeling. She hadn’t said whether she had finished the
song for Sasha.
When she started walking to the piano, it was obvious to everyone that she had all the confidence in the world. Abel could barely breathe as she sat down. He remembered the day he had overheard her playing, so long ago, and goose bumps broke out on his arms.
“This is a song for Sasha,” said Lacey into the microphone. “But I can’t take all of the credit for it. This is going to sound crazy to anyone who doesn’t play, but I heard a piece of this song in a dream. It was a dream about the man I love.”
She blew Abel a kiss. He stood up and caught it, then tucked it into his pocket and sat down. He could not believe the change in her. This was Lacey at her best—Lacey with her music, her deepest passion. This was what she had almost given up to make sure he could have a future.
“But that was just the first piece of the music,” she said. “The rest…I decided that I would just make it up as I went along today, based on how I was feeling. Sasha, Abel, Dana, and all of you out there who have loved and supported me, this is for you. I hope when I’m done, you’ll all understand how grateful I am, and exactly how I’m feeling today.”
Abel had never seen a hypnotist at work, but after a minute of listening to Lacey play, he thought it must be something similar to what the crowd was experiencing. The music seemed to command people to reach for each other’s hands, to put their arms around each other, and to remind them all that life had so much more beauty in it than they let themselves feel at times. He closed his eyes and made a promise to himself. He would do whatever he had to in order to get her on the biggest possible stage, so she could reach the biggest possible audience and move them in the same way.
Even the band members were stunned. The leader had tears running down his face when she finished.
As the last note started to fade, the room was filled with sniffles and sighs.
Lacey got to her feet and faced the room. “Well, it looks like you’re all crying your eyes out. Was it so bad?” But she had a huge smile on her face. She had felt it too.
Abel took Dana off of his lap. He was nearly to Lacey before he had even realized he was moving. He crushed her to him and kissed her.