What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2)

by M. Lynne Cunning

  His smug grin of pride was visible, even in the muted light. “So, it wasn’t a dream and I didn’t wake up to find you gone—so far, so good.”

  “You have low expectations of me, I see.”

  Chad reached around behind her and pulled her closer against him, kissing her forehead softly. “Not at all.” His eyes locked on hers. “But I need to know if you regret it. Even a little bit.”

  His sudden serious tone caught her off guard. He obviously wasn’t as sleepy as she had initially thought. “Not at all. Not even a little bit.” The corner of her mouth twitched upward. “The only regret I have is not letting myself love you sooner.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, a feather light caress on her lips. “Don’t have regrets, Katie,” he whispered. “We’ve got all the time in the world to make up for the time we lost.” He slid his arm in under her pillow, and she tucked her head into the crook of his arm, taking in his scent, a woodsy cologne, tainted with hints of the love they’d made the night before.

  “I want you to sing that song to me. The one you wrote about me.”

  A glimmer of mischief glinted in Chad’s eyes, and he smiled. “Someday.” His gaze followed along as his fingers grazed her skin, then glanced upward to meet hers. “But today is not that day.”

  She giggled, knowing full well he would refuse. “You seem to have an answer for everything, Mr. Kirkwood.” A sigh emitted from her throat. “Any insight into what I should tell Mason, then? He’s the one I am worried about in all this.”

  Chad brought his hand up and stroked the side of Katie’s face with his fingertips, idly pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ears. “Mason is a kid, Katie, but I think he understands more than you think he does. It’s not like he can’t see that you and Jay are not happy with each other. He is wise beyond his years, and observant, almost to a fault. Hell, if you asked him, I wouldn’t doubt he would tell you to walk away from Jay.” He paused, rethinking his choice of words. “Well, maybe not, but I think Mason would rather you both be happy than have to live the way you all are now. My opinion in all this is biased, I know that, but I just think it would be better for all involved, even if I wasn’t in the picture.”

  She nodded her understanding against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she soaked in the caress of his fingers within her hair. “But you are in the picture, and like you said last night, there are consequences to every decision. It’s not like I can just walk away from Jay and start dating you. He is Mason’s father, and Jay is going to want him to be here. I don’t even have a place in Nashville, and I have the farm to look after, and there’s—”

  “Whoa, Katie. Slow down, okay?” Chad tilted her chin to face him, and he could feel her chest beginning to heave as her anxiousness converted to fear of all the questions and uncertainties she was left with in the wake of last night’s decision. “I’m going to ask you again. Do you regret it?”

  Her bottom lip quivered slightly, but Katie shook her head. “I don’t.”

  “Okay, then we will work it out.” He brushed his hand against her cheek again, and Katie curled herself around him, her panic subsided for the time being.

  “There is just so much to think about.”

  He nodded against the top of her head. “There is, but it’s not right—or healthy, for that matter—to stay with someone just because it’s easier.”

  She exhaled loudly, the tension easing in her shoulders and neck. “I don’t even know what to do next, to be honest.”

  He traced a line with his fingertip down her arm, and he idly wondered if he would ever get used to having her with him, so close to him, so intimately. Her head was rested comfortably on his arm. “Well, if you could do anything—without having to think about anyone else’s well-being, I mean—what would you want to do?”

  The answer passed her lips before she had time to even think about it. “I would go back to being a nurse. I was good at my job and I liked it.”

  Chad held his hand over his heart and feigned shock. “Wow, I just can’t believe you didn’t say you wanted to run the farm full-time.”

  Katie reared her head back and looked at his mocking expression skeptically. “What? You didn’t know me when I was a nurse, and, well, farming would not be my first choice.”

  “Again, what a shocker.” Chad laughed, planting a kiss on her temple in apology. “I’m sorry, Katie, but a blind person would be able to tell that you never truly loved working at the farm. You were good at it, yes, and I know you have your reasons, but your heart just wasn’t in it, even if you wanted it to be. You can’t force something like that.”

  “I never realized it was that obvious.”

  “Your body language spoke volumes. I’ve watched you enough to learn what it all meant.”

  “You sound like a stalker,” she smirked.

  He shrugged it off. “Whatever it takes.” He was still grinning when his mouth landed on hers. They were both breathless when Katie pulled away.

  “I need coffee.” She kissed his forehead before sliding away from him and swinging her legs off the edge of the bed. She held the covers tightly to her body.

  “Some things will never change. I’ll make some, Katie. You can stay here if you would like.” Chad sat up, dragging his legs out over his side of the bed, and Katie stole a glance behind her to admire him, the muscles in his back highlighted by the shadows about the room. She turned away in an attempt to squelch the wave of wanting that bubbled to the surface of her skin.

  “If we’re going to talk about such serious topics, I need to make sure you make the coffee good and strong.” She pulled on her bra and panties, turning to find Chad watching her hungrily. A knowing blush rose high into her face and she turned away again, her eyes locked on the floor in search of her clothes.

  “You’re going to monitor me while I make coffee. What are you, the caffeine police?” His voice was closer than expected, and she turned abruptly to face his bare chest. She glanced upward, prepared to jokingly defy him. Instead, he ducked his head toward her ear and whispered, “Your shirt is on the living room floor, in case you forgot how it got there.” Blushing fifteen shades of crimson, she watched in silence as he, his bare torso, and his smug expression slipped past her, his hand brushing her abdomen affectionately as he went, and he disappeared out the bedroom door, leaving it opened behind him.

  Instead of having to pass Chad’s cognizant gaze in order to get the t-shirt from the living room floor, Katie chose to duck into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and retrieve her own shirt instead, still hanging on one of the hooks behind the door where she’d left it after her shower the night before. She stole a few moments to splash water on her face and run her fingers through her hair, staring at her own reflection in distaste. Lack of sleep had never looked good on her, and her puffy eyes and sallow complexion confirmed it. She thought about sifting through the drawers and cupboards in the vanity to search for mouthwash, but decided against it in the end. It would just taint the delectable taste of her coffee.

  She emerged from the bathroom to find Chad puttering around the kitchen, two matching mugs already set out with spoons, cream, and sugar beside them on the counter. He must have noticed her out of the corner of his eye because he snapped his fingers and quickly pulled the coffee pot from its base, only partially full, and began to fill one of the mugs for her.

  “You could have waited until it was finished brewing, you know.” She smiled graciously as she took the mug from him.

  “True, but being the coffee connoisseur that you are, I wouldn’t want you to have to wait for it and, besides, there’s a thirty-second timer on that machine just for such an occasion.” He offered her a playful wink and pushed the coffee pot back into place. The steady stream of brewed coffee dripped into it, picking up where it had left off in the brewing process. “The coffee is stronger that way, anyway. You know, so we can discuss serious matters.”

  “Are you making fun of me?” Katie pressed her lips into a
tight line to hide her amusement, but Chad just winked again.

  “You just drink up. You’ll be more receptive to my charm once the caffeine hits your bloodstream.”

  Katie’s eyes widened, and she choked mid swallow, laughter bubbling unexpectedly. “Oh, charm. Is that what it is?”

  Chad rounded the corner of the counter and hugged her close to him. “I don’t know, what is it, Katie?”

  She held the mug out away from them so as not to spill it, looking up to meet his eyes. A million sarcastic, laughable answers came to her, but instead she chose the truth. “You can call it what you want. I call it love.”

  She watched as Chad’s eyes glinted, making her break out in an even bigger grin. “Is that so?” He lowered his face to hers and kissed her. “I just want you to know,” he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I understand that Mason is your number one priority, and I’m okay with that. He should be. But I also want you to know that I won’t let him get hurt in all this. He’s a child, not a pawn. No matter what, we’ll do what’s best for him, okay? I won’t let him get hurt, and I mean that.”

  Katie stared at him in awe. After everything she’d put him through, everything they had needlessly gone through, he still understood. Chad Kirkwood was the man she was supposed to be with, the one she was meant to build a life with. This was where she was supposed to be, in his arms; she could see that now.

  “Yeah, I would definitely call this love,” she whispered, kissing him again.

  ***

  Even after her long talk with Chad over coffee and breakfast—and his continuous insistence that everything would sort itself out as long as she followed her intuition—Katie still trembled terribly as she drove toward Jay’s apartment. She had finally made a decision for herself, and that decision was Chad Kirkwood. Unfortunately, even as exciting and appealing as that decision was for her, there were still the consequences of that decision to deal with now. She could no longer live a lie. She knew things would never work out with Jay, and selfishly, she hoped that she was right in her belief that, deep down, Jay was fed up with it, too, so at least she wouldn’t feel like she was the sole reason they’d finally parted ways. She would talk to Jay first, hopefully calmly and maturely like she rehearsed in her head, and then they would both sit down and speak with Mason. She prayed Chad was right, that Mason would welcome the permanent split as a better result than living as they had for the last few months. As long as their son understood that she and Jay were not giving up on being his parents, they could build on that. She’d rehearsed some of the things she wanted to say to him while in the car, too, but doubted she would remember what those wise words were when the time came.

  Katie took one last glance in the overhead mirror, wishing that her reflection did not reflect the long, sleep-lacking night she’d truly had. She didn’t regret any of it, but she sure wished she wasn’t wearing such an obvious label that announced it. Reluctantly, she headed for the building. There was no use putting off the inevitable.

  She turned the key in the lock slowly, not wanting to announce her re-entry any louder than she had to. The door creaked open and she stepped inside, half expecting to see her luggage bags packed and by the door. Nothing was sitting there, however. At least nothing blatantly obvious to announce anyone’s knowledge of her recent actions. She closed the door behind her, letting out a slow exhale. She let the silence sink in around her, trying to calm her jittery nerves and clear her mind. When she turned around again, Jay was standing there at the end of the short hallway. She jumped at the sight of him, her hand immediately covering the spot where her heart was beating wildly out of her chest.

  “Christ, Jay! You scared me.”

  “If you’re going to come in, then come in. Stop trying to remain quiet.” He turned around and disappeared back around the corner. “There’s only you and I here, anyway.”

  She slipped off her shoes and followed him, leaving her purse by the door. “Where is Mason? You said—”

  “I know what I said, Katie. He is fine. He’s just at Julia’s for a little bit.” Jay held his hands up, scowling. “Don’t worry, he has only been there for about an hour. I was with him the entire evening and night while you were...” He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and turned away from her again. By the looks of the dining room table, he had been camped out there a while, his half-filled coffee cup plunked down beside a pile of newspapers, his cell phone, and a plate with the crusts of his toast left over.

  Katie crossed her arms self-consciously in front of her. “About last night, Jay. If Mason isn’t here, we need to talk about—”

  “Oh, Katie, you have no idea.” Jay leaned across the table and pulled one of the newspapers from the middle of the pile. She watched in confusion as he flipped through a few of the pages and then splayed the paper out on the table, stepping away from it. He gestured her to take a look, his face distorted in anger and disappointment.

  Katie took a few steps toward the table. What stared back at her on the page both appalled and frightened her, and she could feel the blood draining from her face as she took in the article and accompanying picture. The full color picture on the front page of the entertainment section of the newspaper depicted Chad and Katie in what looked very much like a lover’s embrace, just the right angle to make it look as though they had no concept of the people passing by them, and like they were making out like a couple of teenagers. While Katie knew that was far from the case, the photograph, and the thousand words it was worth, very clearly made it look like they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other long enough to make it past his apartment door. If the picture wasn’t enough, the article spelled it out, its headline “Ashton’s Mystery Woman” printed in bold font above an article that cited a source close to the couple admitting the woman and Chad Ashton were all over each other, and that she had gone upstairs to his apartment that night, not to be seen again before the newspaper was printed.

  “Please tell me this is some kind of joke.” Katie whispered the plea to no one in particular, but she heard Jay scoff behind her.

  “So, you couldn’t just be friends after all, I see?” Jay narrowed his eyes, shaking his head at the notion.

  “Jay, it was not like that. This picture is bogus. I mean—it is real, I was there. This picture makes it look like something it wasn’t, though. He was just giving me a hug. He was just—”

  “You’re telling me that you didn’t go there and sleep with him, then? Is that what you’re saying, Katie?” Jay glared at her, waiting for a response. She opened her mouth to answer, closing it again before she could get the words to come out. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. At least you have the decency not to lie about it.”

  Tears stung at her eyes, and Katie blinked them back. She grabbed the paper from the dining room table and waved it in his direction, crumpling the picture of the article in the process. “This is not what it looks like! Chad and I—”

  “Do you want to know who else saw that picture, Katie?” Jay’s voice was growing louder, and Katie silently prayed he wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying. “Our son. Mason is the one who saw your little make-out session on the front page of the entertainment section first. Mason, Katie!” He slammed his fist down on the table, and coffee splashed over the rim of the mug onto the newspapers below it.

  Her heart plummeted, and tears spilled over onto her cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. She and Chad had talked about it all; this wasn’t in the plan. “I never meant—”

  “You never what, Katie? You never thought your son would find out? You never thought he would see that in the paper? What about the thousands of other people who got to see your little escapade while they sipped on their coffees this morning and gossiped to their significant others about the woman who’s probably just with Chad Ashton for money, or for her fifteen-minutes of fame?”

  Katie shook her head emphatically. “It’s not like that! You know it’s not.”

  “You are absolutely
right. I know it’s not, but all those reporters, and all the folks reading the damn paper do not have a clue. To them, it is exactly as it looks, and what it looks like, is that you and Chad Ashton are making out, hot and heavy, on the sidewalk in front of his place. What it alludes to is that you went back up to his place and spent the night in his little love shack. So, I’m telling you right now, Katie, no one gives a damn about how it actually is.”

  Katie leaned against the table for support, unsure how things had gone so horribly wrong. “Is Mason okay?”

  “Oh, now you’re thinking about Mason’s well-being?”

  His words stung her like a slap in the face. “Jay, don’t you dare! You know I always put Mason first! Hell, I am always putting everybody first! That’s how we got into this mess!”

  Jay snickered, pointing at her. “You got one point right, anyway. This is definitely a mess.” He turned away from her, pacing across the kitchen and then back again. “And Mason seems okay, but I’m sure he wants to talk to you, seeing as I didn’t say much. It’s not up to me to do your damage control.”

  “I will talk to him.” She spat her words out, getting fed up with the distasteful looks he was giving her. She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I will explain it to him.”

  An angry sneer formed on Jay’s face. “I would love to hear that explanation. The thing is, Katie, there is no explaining this away. This is how it is always going to be with him! No matter what you and Chad have surmised during your little love affair, this is how it is always going to be. Your every move is going to be questioned, documented, and embellished. You will be viewed as his little play toy now, not to mention having cameras and reporters in your face everywhere you go, making things look different than how they actually are. There will be no getting away from it.” He reached forward and ripped the newspaper from her hands, causing her to flinch again. “That’s fine if that’s the kind of life you want for yourself, Katie, but you need to ask yourself...is that the kind of life you want for Mason?”