“It wasn’t like that.”
He shook his head. “You have superhuman willpower, my friend.”
I snorted. “The sanctity of our friendship forbids me from saying anything else.”
Travis rolled his eyes. I pulled into a parking garage near Times Square and steeled myself to hand my keys and life savings over to the attendant. Travis grinned.
“What?”
“That sweater.”
I hooked my arm through his. “Why don’t you escort me and my sweater to the theater, stud muffin?”
“It would be my honor.”
WE BOTH had work in the morning, so I dropped Travis at his home after the show. I had the whole drive back to Manhattan to think about Russell’s offer. And I had my place to myself when I took the coward’s way out and texted Russell that I wasn’t going to do the song. My plan was to text him and go to bed. Of course my phone rang three seconds later.
“You aren’t going to talk me into it, so don’t try.”
“I didn’t really expect you to say yes. I just wanted you to consider it,” Russell said. “And I know you, so I know you did.”
“So why the quick call?”
“Is Travis there?”
“No. Why? Do you want to talk to him or about him?”
Russell laughed. “I wanted to talk to you. Paeder said you guys were pretty serious, and I wanted to make sure it’s all good with you. It’s been a long time since you were in a healthy relationship.”
“I know.” I bit back the urge to be sarcastic. Russell was just looking out for me, like he used to. “I get what you’re doing. I appreciate it, but you don’t have to worry. We’re taking it slow.”
“Did you give him a drawer yet?”
I glanced at my dresser and the drawer I intended to give over. “Why does everyone think the drawer is such a big deal?”
“Oh my God! You did!” He burst out laughing. “Did you have to move your clothes out of it?”
“The drawer is currently a hypothetical, but yes, there will soon be an actual drawer, and yes, I will have to move stuff.”
“You are so predictable.”
“How is that predictable?”
“Kio, I can hear your cheeks getting red. So, he’s a good guy? He’s going to support you?”
“I can support myself.”
“I didn’t mean financially.”
“Oh. Yeah, Russ, he supports me.”
“Good.”
“And I like his parents, and he gets along with the cat.” I petted Melvin as I talked about him.
“Wow, he’s a keeper!”
“I told you. How are you? Are you seeing anyone?”
“LA is a buffet, my friend.”
“Uh-huh.”
“At which I am on an endless see-food diet. Always looking, never sampling.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s mostly by choice. I haven’t felt like dating for a while, and my right hand is my—”
“Stop! Don’t wanna know.” Melvin jumped out of my arms.
He laughed. “Fair enough. Hey, don’t be a stranger, all right? I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Well, I know it’s late there, so I’ll let you go. It was good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too. Bye, Russell.”
“See ya, Kio.”
My text alert chime sounded almost immediately. I assumed it was Russell, but I smiled when I saw it was Travis.
Travis: I just wanted to check that you’re not upset with me about earlier. I wasn’t trying to push you into something you don’t want to do.
Me: No, we’re good. I know you were trying to look out for me.
Travis: But you can look out for yourself. :) Okay, good, just making sure before I go to bed.
Me: Aw. You didn’t want us to go to sleep angry?
Travis: That and I’m planning to j/o thinking about you, and I didn’t want to do it imagining your angry face… unless it’s your sexy angry face.
Me: Oh my God.
Travis: :)
Me: I don’t have a sexy angry face.
Travis: Sure you don’t. Night, hottie.
Me: Night, stud.
Going to sleep thinking about Travis was a pretty good idea. I looked at Melvin, who was stretched on the bed like a lazy swimsuit model. I’d lost my inhibitions about wanking in front of him ages ago, but Melvin still seemed to go out of his way to make it as uncomfortable as possible. He stared for starters, and if I tried to hide what I was doing under the sheets, he turned it into a game of Attack the Hand, which was fun for him and less so for me, because sometimes he missed my hand and caught my danglies.
“I think you can sleep in another room tonight.”
He licked his paw and brushed his head. I scooped him up and shut him out. When the door closed, he yelped and started scratching the wood. I undressed, lay down, closed my eyes, and thought of Travis. His face, his hands, his body. Touching him. Him touching me. Him thinking about me right now and doing what I was doing.
Scratch, scratch. Meee-roowwwrrrr.
Super sexy.
Travis’s left nipple that was slightly uneven with the right.
Rowwwwwrrrrrrr.
His smooth hands, the way he could touch me so lightly I didn’t feel it until after the fact. The way he—
Claws tearing into wood. Scritch. Scritch. Scritch.
“Oh my God, fine!” I leapt out of bed, and my cock led the way to the door. I flung it open. Melvin brushed my ankle as he walked in, and then he reclaimed his spot on the bed. I grabbed some tissues and gave a haphazard finish to my no-longer-pleasurable task. “I hate you right now.”
Melvin lifted his leg and started licking his balls.
“Really hate you.” I tossed the tissues in the trash and got into bed again. He came over, snuggled up to my head, and licked my cheek. I pushed him away, so he settled on the pillow next to my head—Travis’s pillow. I grumbled but hugged him anyway. I’d learned that I could hate a cat and love him at the same time. The purring was soothing, at least. “If you cockblock me when Travis’s here, it’s back to the streets.”
He licked my eyebrows. I took that as a sign that he understood and didn’t give a shit.
“YOU’RE THINKING very hard right now,” I said.
“I’m just thinking about us.” Travis had come over for dinner with his usual duffel bag, but this time it was packed almost full. I had high hopes for what that meant.
“Good things?”
Travis smiled. “The best things. For a long time to come.”
I smiled too. “I hope you’re thinking about crashing my classes so you can set the girls’ hearts aflutter when you kiss me in front of them. So that way I can tell them that’s what I mean by passion when I’m coaching them to feel.”
“I am now.” He reached across the dinner table, careful not to bump the candle. I stretched forward and took his hand.
“I like holding your hand,” he said. “I think it might be my favorite thing we do in public.”
“Then we should do it more. I like being here with you. I like being anywhere with you. I’m glad we met the way we did. I think I learned more about you in that first minute when you came in with that declaration than I have anyone else.”
“Same.” He shrugged and laughed when I looked like I expected more. “I mean, you’re why I came back. I didn’t want you to think I was the kind of guy who I initially came over to be.”
“I knew you weren’t. I mean, I could tell.” I looked down, then up again and met his eyes. “I’m thankful for you. Whatever happens with us, I want you to know that.”
“Keelin, whether we’re rescuing teenagers or chasing the cat off the bed, I’m all in.”
“Travis?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go unpack your bag. There’s a drawer in my room ready for you.”
“But it doesn’t mean anything, right?” He added a slight t
ease to his voice, even though I knew he wasn’t teasing. The bag, the drawer, his things here, they meant something. I was ready for it. I needed him to be.
“Yeah, no, you know what? I was wrong. Everyone else is right. It means. Yeah.” How many years singing love songs and that’s what I stutter out? No wonder I spent so long single.
Evidently he got my meaning, because he walked over to me, tugged my lower lip from between my teeth with his finger, and kissed me. One day I would ask him to marry me. Maybe sooner, maybe later. But in that moment, all I wanted was to spend the rest of my mornings, noons, and nights with him. From the way he looked at me when he pulled away, I knew he felt the same. There was only one thing to say.
“So, fancy a trip to Ireland to meet my parents, nine siblings, and five hundred nieces and nephews?”
More from Ryan Loveless
Pop Life: Book One
Andrew writes the songs everyone sings along with on the radio—tunes full of love, longing, and heartbreak. He has a knack for tapping into emotions, but when it comes to his own, the feelings aren’t so easy to manage. Sent to New York City to work on Irish singer Paeder Brogan’s first solo album, Andrew is caught in the middle of a boy band’s infighting and secret love affairs while battling the memories of his last trip to the Big Apple, which ended when English pop star Jamie Webster drunkenly kissed him.
Andrew’s heart leaps when he discovers he’s staying at the same hotel as Jamie, yet he doubts Jamie recalls him, even though Andrew wrote his biggest hit. Jamie remembers him, though, and he seems to think Andrew is the only person who can save him from his downward spiral. Even as his feelings for Jamie swell, Andrew faces the real threat that the maelstrom he’s walked into will pull him down alongside Jamie.
By twenty-four, Carter Stevenson has stuttered and ticced his way to debilitating shyness. Although his friends accuse him of letting his Tourette’s dictate his life, Carter moves from Los Angeles to a quiet California town. He’ll keep his head down and avoid people. He doesn’t anticipate his new neighbor, Ethan Hart, crashing into his solitude and forcing him to get out and live.
From the beginning, Ethan makes his love for Carter clear. But he fears Carter won’t see past Ethan’s damaged brain, even though it makes Ethan more attuned to his emotions than most people. For Carter, there’s a bigger issue: he’s been burned by so-called “perfect” matches, and he won’t risk his heart again.
One way or another, Ethan’s determined to show Carter they belong together. Then Ethan receives tragic news. Suddenly he must turn to Carter for strength and support. Will Carter come through when Ethan needs him most?
To an outsider’s view, world-famous action star Joe Nestra lives the Hollywood dream—parties, women, and a high-profile divorce. In reality, Joe’s agent directs his public life. Those women he’s supposedly intimate with? Prearranged dates ending at the red carpet. With his assistant and best friend Derek Simmons’ help, Joe has lived safely in the closet since his divorce, choosing to let off steam with discreet male escorts rather than risk an actual boyfriend. At forty-four, he has no plans to change. Then, taking a role in a film without flashy explosions upends that.
When Joe signs on to play an early 1990s-era AIDS-stricken gay man, his internalized homophobia threatens the production. His out costar Hunter Starling won’t put up with Joe’s behavior. As the animosity between Joe and Hunter grows, saving the film means Joe must face his deepest fear. Challenges pile up from all directions, from his father disowning him to the entertainment industry’s backstabbing reaction. Amid the backlash, Joe ventures into his first gay romantic relationship, tries to help others worse off, and slowly learns how to live his life instead of just acting it.
The first alien immigrants arrived on Earth long before Henry Mekes was born. Now they’re policed by the government, forbidden from attending school, and assigned menial jobs to prevent them from becoming drains on human society. Twenty-two-year-old Kaden, for example, was assigned the job of sex worker.
When eighteen-year-old Henry and his friend Ellil meet Kaden in a grotty backroom to avail themselves of his services, alien rights are the furthest thing from their minds. It’s not until afterward, when Henry is trying to remind himself aliens can’t get enough of sex, that he questions his actions and the rules of the world he lives in.
Something about Kaden compels Henry to return again and again—but only as a friend. Soon he and his classmates hatch a plan to free Kaden, but even if they succeed, the world is still full of prejudice against aliens—and those who love them.
Charlie Corcoran is the best thing about twenty-five-year old Zach Prentiss’s life. Sure, they’ve never met. Charlie’s never seen Zach from the neck up, but because of Charlie, for a few hours Zach can forget about his sick father, his falling grades, and his dwindling clientele who don’t like that he’s a rentboy who ages. With Charlie, he talks online about comics, cars, and movies. Then a new client arrives. It’s Charlie wanting sex tips… for a date with Zach. Zach goes through with the appointment, convinced it’s over if Charlie recognizes him. However, he doesn’t have long to nurse his broken heart or worry about Charlie’s before Charlie is back, wanting to take him out, introduce him to Mom, and treat him like he’s decent.
RYAN LOVELESS is a farmer’s daughter. She has a BA in English from a private college in Illinois and a master’s degree in library and information science with an archival certificate from a university in New York. Raised in a conservative family, she was shocked and relieved when her coming out was largely uneventful. She has been writing since she could read and has always drifted toward M/M because she enjoys the relationship dynamics. It’s possible that her first story was about G.I. Joe. She wishes she still had that story.
Blog: ryanloveless.dreamwidth.org
Facebook: facebook.com/ryanlovelessbooks
Twitter: @ryanloveless
By Ryan Loveless
Ethan, Who Loved Carter
The Forgotten Man
The Gift
In Me an Invincible Summer
Kaden’s Colors
Last Chance Charlie
Off the Page
Offside
POP LIFE
Pop Life
This Is Our Love Song
Published by Harmony Ink Press
Ethan
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This Is Our Love Song
© 2017 Ryan Loveless.
Cover Art
© 2017 L.C. Chase.
http://www.lcchase.com
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
Digital ISBN: 978-1-63533-774-7
Published July 2017
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
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