by M. D. Archer
“But—”
“No buts. This is what we do,” he repeats. “You could get hurt, or jeopardize an already tricky situation further.”
“How?”
“What do you mean, how?”
“How would I jeopardize the situation?”
“Because you are already in trouble and on the police radar. Because you are new to this. You don’t know what you’re doing.” Vincent’s voice softens. “Tamzin, I’m sorry. I realize you want to help, but you can’t.”
I don’t say anything, bristling with anger but also hurt that Vincent is treating me like such a baby.
“One more thing before you go.” Vincent stands, signaling the end of his lecture. “Do you think the police are actually suspicious of you?”
“Um…” Do I tell Vincent that all three murders are connected to me? That I think the Crawler is trying to incriminate me? I would just be in more trouble then, wouldn’t I? They told me to stay out of it, but I’m already in so deep.
“Tamzin?”
“The detective was thinking that it’s a coincidence, but he is definitely still suspicious.”
“What do you mean he was thinking it’s a coincidence?”
“Ah, I read his thoughts,” I admit. “I know, I know, we’re not supposed to do that,” I say into his silence, “but I had to….”
“But how? It’s not the full moon.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I admit. “I just can. Is it weird?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes a step toward me, placing his hand on my shoulder, his eyes searching mine. Finally he steps back.
“You can go now. But, Tamzin, be careful and stay out of trouble.”
NIKOLAI CONTACTS ME just before midnight.
He’s outside. He wants to know if I can hang out. I only hesitate for a second. Mom and Dad are already sound asleep. They won’t even know I left the house.
I run to the mirror. How disheveled do I look and do I have sexy bed hair or more like a human-sloth hair? Hmm, somewhere in the middle. I push at the strands for a second and then pull it up into a high ponytail. I make sure I don’t have panda eyes and then climb through the window and drop lightly down to the ground.
Nikolai is leaning against the base of the tree outside my house looking distracted.
“Is something wrong?” I ask.
“No, I just… wanted to catch up with you. I thought we could go out somewhere?”
Nikolai is wearing nice jeans and a form-fitting shirt that does everything to show off his broad, well-developed shoulders and lean torso.
“What, like out out?”
There is vulnerability in the way he shrugs casually and nods. My stomach flips.
“Kirsten busy?” I can’t stop myself.
A pause before he answers. “Kirsten has an early start tomorrow.” His tone is offhand, but he’s bristling with unexpended energy. He’s been in a recent argument, I think. “Plus, you and I haven’t caught up in a while,” he adds.
No, not since I was detained by the police.
“Okay,” I say, looking down at myself. Tank, leggings, bare feet. “Just give me a sec.”
I scale up the side of the house and let myself back in through my bedroom window. I already know exactly what I’m going to wear. I pull on the new pants, gold tank, crop jacket, and heels I bought on my shopping trip with Ruby. I smooth out my ponytail and put on a little foundation, mascara, and lip gloss. Scaling back down the side of the house is a lot harder wearing skintight jeans and four-inch heels.
“Wow. That was quick, and… wow.”
I pat my hair, feeling shy. And pleased.
“Hey, how did you know where I live?” I say as we start walking toward his car.
“The Consillium has a database, but also, when you Became, you were….”
“What?”
“Well, you were kind of hard to miss.”
God, that beacon thing again. I feel as if I was showing my undies without realizing, or walking around with a big wad of toilet paper stuck to my shoe.
“It’s a good thing. It’s a sign of strength.” Nikolai smiles—the first one I’ve seen tonight.
We go to Red Door. When Miles nods to me in recognition, I feel a jolt of pleasure. Nikolai enters without paying and waves me in too, which surprises me a little, but this is forgotten as soon as Nikolai takes my hand to lead me through the club. I follow him through the throbbing, pulsing group of people. Instantly, I want to lose myself in the music, or maybe I want to lose myself in someone. We don’t stop until we reach a back room I hadn’t noticed the first time I was here. It’s a heady, moody space, with several small two-seater couches, tables lit up with candles and fairy lights, and a space in the middle to dance. Does Nikolai realize how romantic it is in here? When he tells me to grab a seat in a brusque tone, I think maybe he does.
Instead of joining the queue at the bar, he goes to the side and a bartender immediately hands him a bottle of red wine and two glasses. Nikolai nods but doesn’t pay. As he makes his way back, he smiles at people, shaking a few hands, stopping to talk to someone briefly. Nikolai is some sort of VIP, I realize. He’s an Armandi, and he’s junior Consillium Principali. In a Lucan club, he’s like a mini celebrity.
“Hey, red wine okay?”
I nod. He sits down so that we’re in a thigh-to-thigh crush on this small couch. Heat is emanating from his legs, and from his neck I smell his natural scent mingled with soap.
It’s definitely not the worst thing in the world.
“I wanted to—” Nikolai pauses to fill my glass. “—to check in with you, see how you were?”
The beat from the next room pulses through, but I can hear him easily. I take a sip of wine, eyeing him over the edge of the goblet. His question seems loaded. How much does he know? How much do I admit? I can’t shake the feeling that, if I admit the extent of my connection with all of the Crawler killings, they will blame me.
“You heard about me finding the body?”
Nikolai nods. “It wasn’t traumatic, I hope?”
I shake my head. “It was weird… and awful… but I didn’t see much.”
“And nothing since then?”
He must also know that the Crawler lured me there. “I haven’t gotten any messages or ominous feelings, if that’s what you mean?”
“Good,” he says, but when his eyes flick to mine, there’s a hint of a frown. He lifts his head as a greeting to someone across the room then turns back to me. “I know it wasn’t your fault that you were there, and the police took you, but I…”
This is starting to sound like it’s going to be a repeat of Vincent’s lecture.
Nikolai’s eyes rest on mine, then he leans back and runs his hand through his hair. “I want you to be part of this, the Consillium, our community.” He leans closer again and fixes his eyes on me in a way that makes me breathless. “And the rules we follow are a vital part of that.”
“Yes, yes, the rules,” I say flippantly.
Nikolai locks his eyes onto mine. “Tamzin, the rules are there for a reason.” He inches forward, placing his hand on my arm. “Rules and consequences. They’re important. Please tell me you understand?”
“I do.” I nod, buzzing at his proximity, the warmth of his hand. “I get it. I understand the rules, their purpose,” I say, even though I’m not sure I do.
“And I know it can be hard, trying to keep up a normal life,” he adds, withdrawing his hand. “How are you doing with that? Your family and your, uh, friends?”
“Well, Mom and Dad have noticed some changes, and they are freaking out a bit,” I admit.
Nikolai nods, his eyes still on mine, waiting for me to finish.
“And my friends, well, I burned a few bridges before I Became anyway, so that has been less of a problem.” Even thinking about Piper makes my stomach clench, so I try to avoid that.
“And… you broke up with Chris, but you aren’t dating anyone new?”
&
nbsp; I look up with a question in my eyes.
“That guy, the other night… at the club,” he adds.
“Oh right.” I nod. I’d almost forgotten about him. He was kind of a non-event, but I guess that non-event was noticed. “No. I’m not dating anyone,” I say, searching his eyes, trying to understand what’s going on here. “Are you still with Kirsten?” I blurt.
A pause.
“Yes.”
“Right,” I say, pulling back, uncertain. Nikolai pulls back too, mirroring my body language.
The spell is broken.
“Will you be okay here for a moment?” He stands up. “I need to attend to some Consillium business.”
“Okay,” I say, but he’s already moving away.
He’s blowing hot and cold so fast he’s going to give me a nosebleed.
I’m about to settle into some people watching when my view is obscured. Piercing blue eyes and a swagger. Mason Maxwell. I met him at the Spring Feast, but we’d only chatted briefly. He’d left early, phone clamped to his ear like he was a hedge fund manager or something.
“Hey, Tamzin.” He smiles, crinkling his eyes in a way that makes me think he practices it in the mirror. It’s effective, but if he thinks he has mastered the art of giving someone a surreptitious once-over, he’s wrong. Still, there is something charming about him. I wonder if this is part of being Lucan. Am I charming?
“Tamzin?”
“Hi. Sorry.” I stand up and give him a welcoming smile. I can be charming. “How’s it going?”
All of a sudden, I feel the warmth of someone standing directly behind me.
“Hey, Mason, how are you?”
“Nikolai. I’m good. You?” Mason takes a step backward.
“I’m good, thank you,” Nikolai says. Polite but cold. “Is Madison with you?”
Mason nods his head toward the other room just as Ruby bounces up.
“Hey, Tam!”
“Ruby, hey! I didn’t know you were here.” I grin.
Mason grabs her around the waist and pulls her into the other room to dance. Her halfhearted eye roll suggests she doesn’t mind Mason so much.
But Nikolai clearly does.
“So what’s the deal with you guys?” I ask once they’re out of earshot.
“Mason? He’s just…,” Nikolai says without elaborating, instead taking my elbow and tugging me softly so that I turn to face him. “Tamzin?” Nikolai’s eyes darken. “Would you do something for me?”
I wait, curious.
“Don’t hook up with Mason, will you?”
What does he mean? Don’t date Mason because he’s a douche, don’t hook up with him because he’s a sleaze, or don’t do either of those things because Nikolai is jealous? But I don’t have time to think about it, because a commotion pulls both of our attention away.
“Stay here,” Nikolai barks, striding away. I only pause for a second before following him through to the other room. I join Ruby at the edge of a small semicircle to see Nikolai’s arms locked around the torso of tall, thrashing Lucan. Madison emerges through the crowd, from the other side of the room, to join Nikolai.
“What’s going on?”
“Rogue,” Ruby says, watching intently but shaking her head.
I step forward to get a better look, and he snarls, lunging at me. Nikolai tightens his grip. Madison, facing him and pushing against his shoulders, crouches down and grabs his legs, sweeping his feet out from under him so that she and Nikolai have him lifted off the floor. Nikolai deftly switches up his grip, slipping his arms under the Rogue’s shoulders and then locking his hands behind the Rogue’s head. Madison, stronger than she looks, has a vice-like hold around his knees. She marches them forward and out of the door.
“Why would he come here? Isn’t this like, a Consillium club?”
Ruby shakes her head. “Yeah, it’s a pretty idiotic move. Actually… I don’t think that has ever happened before. I don’t know what he thought he was doing, how that was going to go. Rogues.” She shakes her head. “I just don’t get them, you know? I mean, apart from acting like psychos sometimes, why would you turn your back on being part of the Consillium community.”
I study the side of Ruby’s face, figuring this passionate loyalty had something to do with her living on the street, totally alone, before Vincent found her and brought her into the Consillium community. I’d only heard bits of her story, but it sounded like it was pretty rough.
“Come on. Let’s forget him and dance,” Ruby says, pulling me onto the dance floor.
I try to get into the music, but all I can think about is that Rogue and that look in his eyes. Primal and vacant.
It was almost like he wasn’t totally in control of himself.
Chapter 20
Dana’s suitcase is already nearly full, but she keeps flinging clothes over to where I’m sitting on her bed, helping her pack.
“Why are you going to London?” I ask.
“Writer’s Festival,” she says, standing at her chest of drawers, keeping her back turned as she rummages through her underwear draw. “I’ll be gone for about ten days,” she says, still facing away from me.
“Okay,” I look at her back. Is she mad? Did I get her in trouble with Vincent?
She turns. “Is that okay? Will you be okay?” She looks unsure. “You’re clear after the talk you had with Vincent?”
I nod. She turns back, and I’m glad she can’t see my face. Can I stay out of trouble?
“Okay, good. This trip is just kind of important, is all.” She fiddles with something on the dresser.
“Is everything okay with you?” I ask.
Dana pauses, lifting her eyes to meet mine in the mirror. “Why didn’t you tell me you could read human minds when it’s not the full moon?” she says, finally turning around.
I’d forgotten I’d let that slip to Vincent. “Um…” I shrug. “Is it a big deal?”
“Yeah, it kind of is. It’s an advanced telepathic skill, Tam. Most Lucans will never be able to do that.”
“Really?” Even though Dana is frowning at me, I’m pleased. Is this what it feels like to be the teacher’s pet? The golden girl? Finally.
“And I guess I’m a little hurt that you aren’t confiding in me anymore.”
“I am—I mean, I meant to, or I will!” I cross the room to where she is and tentatively wrap my arms around her shoulders. “I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, honest.”
After a moment, Dana relaxes into my hug. “Okay, good. Just, yeah, tell me what’s going on with you, okay?”
I nod, returning to my spot on the bed.
“Like for instance... Nikolai?” She arches her eyebrow in that way that only she can. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?”
“Yeah. But so what? We’re just, uh, friends.”
Dana frowns, not buying it. I don’t blame her.
“Okay, yes, I think he’s hot, and yes, I think he should dump Kirsten, but that’s just because she’s awful. He deserves someone better.”
“Someone like you, you mean?”
“No.” I throw a pillow at Dana. But she’s right. I mean someone exactly like me.
“Tam, be honest.”
I sigh. “What is the big deal? Why are you being so… parental?”
“I don’t know. It’s just… you’ve had to deal with a lot recently. A lot of change. Aside from his girlfriend, isn’t it a bit soon after Chris?”
I shrug. “Part of me still loves Chris, of course, but it feels like it’s been over for ages. Whatever.” I wave my hand. “What about you and Vincent, huh? Why aren’t you guys a thing?”
Dana gives me a look to let me know she knows I’m deflecting, but then she sits down on the bed next to me. “I just don’t think I can give him what he wants. I know Jakob was a while ago, but it was too much. Our relationship nearly broke me.”
I’d heard the stories from Dana already, how they couldn’t stay away from each other, but they couldn’t be together either.
/> “So a writer’s festival, huh? Fun or boring?”
Dana hesitates, looks uncomfortable for a second. Is she hiding something from me? Without thinking about it, I probe her thoughts.
“Tamzin!”
I stop, in shock.
“It is not cool to do that. You have to show respect for the sanctity of other people’s minds.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Just don’t, okay. It’s a no-no. It’s a violation. I’m not even sure how….”
“Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m still trying to get all this under control, I guess.” I feel bad, but the way she’s looking at me.... “Geez, Dana, chill, I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“Hey, guys?” Vincent’s voice carries through the apartment.
“In the bedroom!” Dana calls back.
I give her a dramatically lewd wink.
“Shut up.” She smiles. “He’s taking me to the airport.”
“Hey, Tam. How are you?” Vincent kisses me on the cheek, and I can tell he’s trying to make sure I know the warmth is still there, even after our less-than-friendly meeting. “Anything happen recently?”
“No.”
“Good.” Vincent nods.
“I’ll let you finish packing,” I say, retreating to the living room.
When it goes unnaturally quiet, I think at first that they might be fooling around, but as the silence continues, I realize they’re having a Lucan conversation so that I can’t hear them. Within a few seconds, I determine that intercepting a conversation between two Lucans is nearly as easy as normal eavesdropping.
“Do you think it’s possible?”
“I’m not sure, but I’m starting to think yes.”
What is possible?
“And Tessa has information?”
“I’m sure it’s somewhere in storage. It has to be.”
What are they talking about? And why are they keeping it from me?
“Tam?” Dana appears from the hallway.
“Uh-huh?” I try not to look as guilty as I feel. I bet that hijacking other people’s conversations is just as bad as force-reading someone’s mind.
“Um, nothing.” Dana studies my face. Does she know what I was doing? “We… we’re taking off now, okay? Vincent will check in on you while I’m gone if you need anything, okay?”