by M. D. Archer
When Nikolai emerges from the shower, I’m sitting on the couch, holding the box in both hands. He pauses at the edge of the living room, and I raise my gaze to meet his.
“I have decided to wear the amulet.”
Chapter 27
Nikolai pauses in front of me, a crease of concern between his eyebrows.
“Do you want to go for a walk? Get some coffee?”
I nod. I must look as gray and lifeless as I feel. I’ve only been wearing the amulet for a few hours, but I can already feel it sucking away my strength. It’s the right thing to do though—I’m almost sure of it. Not only will it make the Consillium happy, it will run interference between me and the Crawler. It might save lives.
We amble out to Marshall Street and then head in the general direction of downtown, mostly silent. I trace my fingers along the curved arc of the two intertwined Cs. I lift the amulet to look at it as I rub my thumb over the cool, smooth metal. It’s packed with fortified silver, but protected by a plating, which means it doesn’t burn my skin or cause real pain, but it’s definitely doing its job. It doesn’t weigh much, but it’s still heavy on my chest. It almost makes it hard to breath. But it gets easier, apparently. The feeling that your bones are made of lead, that you are being slowly poisoned, is supposed to lessen after the first day. Of course, I’ve been told this by people who have never actually worn it. But I agreed to this. It’s for the best. My body just needs to adjust, and it will soon.
I lead us away from Barrington Park—I don’t need any reminders about that, thanks. So rather than scenic greenery and tree-lined streets, our meandering takes us through a few blocks of ugly brown and gray industrial buildings.
“Hey, Nikolai?” Even with my thoughts and emotions muted by the amulet, I’ve still been worrying about what I should do with the Crawler accent clue. I’m not into the idea of more trouble, but how can I keep this clue to myself if the Consillium can use it to find the Crawler.
“I have a question. You said you had a database. Is that just of the Consillium community members, or is it the Rogues too?”
Nikolai shakes his head. “We have records about those we have come into contact with who have caused trouble for us, but they do their best to stay off our radar, so there are many we don’t know about.”
“You think the Crawler is a Rogue, right?”
Nikolai nods, his jaw clenched.
“So, hypothetically speaking, if you had some clue…” Nikolai looks at me sharply. “I mean, like, the CCTV footage, you can sort of see him, but you can’t like, use that to try and identify him, can you?”
“No, unfortunately not. We don’t have that kind of information. Oh.”
Nikolai’s voice has gone weird. When I look up, I see why. Kirsten has just emerged from a furniture store and is walking straight toward us.
“You have got to be kidding me,” she says.
I agree. This is not fair. To run into her now when I’m wearing the amulet? Thanks, Universe.
“Her? Really?” Kirsten says as she stops in front of me.
“Kirsten.” Nikolai steps forward, his hands out in a placatory gesture.
“Tell me you didn’t break up with me because of her? I think I could handle anything… anyone else.”
“Don’t. Kirsten, the only people involved in our breakup was you and me.”
“I mean, she’s such a weirdo.”
I open my mouth then close it again.
“She’s a loser, Nikolai. You know she’s got a drug problem, right? She’s a total meth-head. Everyone at school knows. That’s how she lost weight so quickly. Look at her. Even now, she can hardly keep her eyes open. And she like, failed anatomy class. Did you know that? Why are you hanging out with such a loser?” Nikolai strides forward, collecting Kirsten and virtually frog marching her away from me. My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I don’t want Nikolai to know these things. And why does everyone think I have a drug problem?
I spend ten minutes loitering listlessly on the street until Nikolai comes back.
“I’m sorry about that.” He looks as uncomfortable as I feel.
“It’s okay. I can see it from her perspective,” I say. “I get why she’s mad.” I shrug.
Nikolai glances at me like this is not the answer he was expecting, but then looks up sharply, off into the distance.
“She’s not coming back, is she?”
Nikolai just grabs my hand and leads me back the way we have walked.
“What are you doing?”
“Don’t turn around,” he says, his voice low. “A Rogue is following us, and I want to lead her to a more isolated area.”
In an instant, the atmosphere changes. Even though he told me not to, I turn. A powerful-looking woman in her mid-twenties, with dark hair, black clothes, and heavy eye makeup, is a little ways behind us. My senses are turned down low, but with a visual, I can tell she’s Lucan.
“Why do they do this?” Nikolai shakes his head, marching ahead, almost dragging me with him.
“Who is she? Do you know her?”
“She is one of the Falcone sisters. She’s known to the Consillium.” Angry energy pulses from Nikolai, causing palpable ripples of volatility. He checks an alley to the left, then leads us to the end.
“But I’m wearing the amulet,” I say.
“She was probably tracking you before you put it on.”
God, what did they do in their spare time before I showed up?
“Or maybe she’s here for me. We’ve butted heads before. Either way, she wants a fight, and she’s going to get one.” Nikolai’s hands clench into fists and the muscles in his jaw work as he grinds his teeth. “But she’s normally with her sister.” He shakes his head. “I can’t sense her.”
Keeping his eyes trained on Falcone, who has just entered the mouth of the alley, Nikolai takes a step in front of me, gently but firmly moving me behind him, away from the approaching Rogue.
Nikolai crouches down. “Tamzin, can you step back. Please. I don’t want you to get hurt.” His voice is low, throaty, almost rumbling into a growl.
Falcone is not as tall as Nikolai, and probably not as strong, but she doesn’t let that stop her. She leaps at him, an incredibly fast movement, knocking him off balance, managing to knee him in the torso. Nikolai staggers back, wincing, but then regains his poise and steps forward to deliver precise, perfectly executed punches to her head, her neck, then her kidneys—a move I recognize from my training with Dana. Falcone goes down on one knee and Nikolai delivers a blow to her head that knocks her out. I watch, with numb detachment, wondering if this is my life now. Tamzin the perpetual bystander? Part of me feels almost embarrassed to be so useless, but I’m too weak to be any real help, and this is what the Consillium wanted, after all.
“Are you okay?” Nikolai is now standing in front of me, eyes searching mine. “Now that you have the amulet on, it won’t happen again, I promise.” Intensity strains his voice.
“Okay, yeah, I’m fine.” I don’t know what to say.
I feel like a spare part.
“I have to call it in,” Nikolai says, taking out his phone. He steps away from me, closer to the prone Rogue. I stare, zombie-like, at Falcone, spread-eagled on the ground while Nikolai relays the basics of the fight.
“No, I made sure we were alone first,” Nikolai says. “She’s unconscious, but I don’t know for how much longer. Can you send someone?” His eyes flick over to me. “Yes, she’s wearing it,” he says.
I look down too. The amulet glints in the sun. I’ve made my choice.
Chapter 28
I’ve been wearing the amulet for nearly a week now, and in that time, it’s as if I’ve reverted back to being a normal person. Almost. I’m still stronger than a human, but knowing what I used to be capable of, I feel totally ordinary. Less than ordinary.
Most days I just hang out at Dana’s, steadily making my way through all the TV shows that have ever been made. She gets home in a few days, and I’m mak
ing the most of having her apartment to myself—mostly by creating piles of mess everywhere.
The full moon came and went, and I couldn’t even feel it. I’m not sure whether to be grateful or not. Part of me misses the raw energy of emotion.
I’ve caught up with Ruby a couple of times, but I can’t be bothered doing any of the energetic things she likes to do, and watching TV isn’t her style, so we’ve fallen into a habit of a daily call but not much else. Nikolai has dropped by a few times too, but his visits have become brief and business-like, focused on updates on the Consillium’s search for the Crawler, who has dropped completely off the radar. They’re hoping he’s disappeared for good. I try not to think about it because it’s possible that wearing the amulet solved the Crawler problem and that could mean that I have to wear it forever.
After a couple of awful conversations with Dad—it was so good to hear his voice, but I could hear how worried he was and I was sure he could hear how flat and sluggish my voice was—I realized that it was better that I didn’t see or speak to Mom or Dad. For now, staying away is the best approach because I still can’t explain the changes to me, my behavior, my life. And if they saw me now, they would be even more convinced I’m on drugs. No, it’s better this way. I have the Consillium, and that’s enough. It has to be. And the reason the Crawler hasn’t struck again might be because I’m wearing the amulet.
It was the right decision.
A rap on the door brings me out of my reverie. I sit up, startled. I consider not answering, but a second, louder rap on the door spurs me into action.
“Who is it?” I call.
“Detective Parsons.”
I take a step back, surprised. But I guess I should have expected a follow-up visit. The charges were dropped, but not by Parsons. The Consillium gave me airtight alibis and put in the hard word to people higher up, so I was officially eliminated from the enquiry. But the Crawler is still out there and somehow linked to me. Parsons knows this. He just doesn’t know why or how.
“Miss Walker,” he says as he walks past me, uninvited, into the living room. He casts a judgmental eye around the room, landing on the rumpled blanket on the couch, the pizza box, and all the other indicators that a slob lives here.
“I’m not interrupting anything important, am I?” he says.
“Can I help you with something?”
Parsons nods at the dining table, indicating that we should sit. He takes out one of his trusty manila files and a pen that is mangled by bite marks. Despite the attention he gives his pen, he hasn’t neglected his fingernails. They’re chewed down to a level that is painful to even look at.
“Any news on the Crawler?” I ask.
Parsons glances at me, narrowing his eyes. “You tell me.”
“The charges were dropped.”
Parsons shrugs. “Having friends in the right places doesn’t mean you are innocent.”
He doesn’t actually think I’m the Crawler, does he? Yes, there is incriminating evidence linking me to each of the crimes, and yes, whatever strings Rica pulled to get the charges dropped probably don’t make me look less suspicious. But still, really? Me a serial killer? I try to probe his mind to see if I can pick up on his thoughts, but I stop after only a few seconds. It’s making me nauseated. And do I even care? My hand goes to the amulet, tracing the Cs over and over again, as has become my habit. Parsons eyes drop down to the amulet, as if he realizes its significance, but then they return back to the file. He flicks through the papers. The silence continues.
“Look, I don’t know why. I can’t explain all the things connecting me to the Crawler,” I say finally. “You don’t really think I had something to do with it, do you?”
Parsons raises his eyes to mine but remains quiet.
“Maybe he’s stalking me?” It’s the closest I can get to the truth. Something in the way Parsons tilts his head makes me think he has considered this possibility.
“If that is true, then you need to be very, very careful.” His voice is hard. “You do realize that, don’t you? You could be in danger? He knows your routine. He probably knows where you live.” Parsons stops and then looks around. “At least where you used to live?”
I shake my head, not prepared to explain why I’m not at home.
“So there is nothing new, no activity, no leads?” I ask.
Parsons shakes his head. “We don’t understand it. Normally—not that any of this is normal—normally a killer like this doesn’t stop. The psych team thinks he wouldn’t stop voluntarily. Maybe he’s in prison already.”
Again, my hand goes to the amulet.
Or maybe it’s because access to his muse has been shut down.
Neither of us say anything else, and finally Parsons stands up and sees himself to the door. What was the point of this visit, I wonder. He opens the door, then turns back.
“Miss Walker, can I ask… are you all right?”
“Um, yeah, I guess.”
“You seem—”
“Can you let me know?” I interrupt. “About the Crawler? I mean, if you find anything…”
“Likewise, Miss Walker.” Parsons nods once and then leaves.
Chapter 29
“Those bastards.”
“Dana—”
“No, this is completely unacceptable. They did this when I was out of the country? That is not a coincidence, Tam.”
Dana has been back a day and half, but she is still mad about the amulet. She’s not just pissed at the Consillium either. After I filled her in about what went down with Mom, she went to run an “errand” and came home with a face so thunderous I was worried that she was going to cause a weather event.
“They didn’t make me, Dana. I decided on my own.”
“The rational, logical decision you made as you hung out in a holding cell?”
“No, it was after that.”
“Oh, right. You mean after your mother threw you out? And they told you that they would only help you out if you wore it?”
I look down. Sure, the circumstances surrounding the decision were a little turbulent, but it doesn’t matter how I got here. This is the reality of my situation.
“But what about the Crawler, Dana? With the amulet on, the Crawler won’t be able to connect with me like before. There haven’t been any more victims since I put it on.”
Dana looks me up and down. “How do you feel?” But she doesn’t wait for an answer. Instead, she moves closer to me, like she is going to hug me, but she draws back almost immediately.
“Ugh, I can feel it from here, Tam. I can’t believe you’re wearing it. It’s barbaric.” Her eyes flash. “Please take it off.”
“It doesn’t hurt, Dana, honestly. It just makes me feel sluggish and weak. And I can’t read minds anymore, which is kind of a relief.”
“It makes me feel sick.”
“Honestly, it’s for the best.”
Dana shakes her head.
“The thing is, Tam, I don’t know that this is about the Crawler. I think it might be about how powerful you are. Sure, the Crawler thing needs to be sorted out, but I wonder about their motives.”
“How powerful I am?”
“It’s not just you—our bloodline, the Cursus. We are known to be a strong, powerful bloodline, and this amulet? I just think it might be…” She trails off, eyes clouded with doubt and conflict.
“What is it?”
But instead of answering, she stands up and grabs her phone and keys.
“Where are you going?”
“To talk to Vincent.”
Based on the look on her face, I wouldn’t want to be Vincent right now.
“He didn’t pressure me to put it on, Dana, honestly.”
“Maybe… Hey, Tam, can I ask you something?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Did you ever get your period?”
“Huh?”
“I know it stopped as you were Becoming, but did it ever come back?”
With a start I realize it didn’t. H
ow did I not notice that until now? I guess I’ve had a lot going on.
I shake my head and Dana just nods, lost in thought.
LATER, DANA DRAGS me to the gym. Any interest in working out has disappeared, but she still insists that I should try to keep my skills honed.
Sparring with Dana used to be a sweat-inducing battle that pitted greater strength—me—against superior skill—her. Now, we just go through the motions, practicing technique as if running scales on a piano.
After a while, she stops and looks at me with concern. “Is it sucking that much of your strength?”
I zero in on the amulet pressing against my chest. Is the silver totally responsible for the lethargy I feel? My reflexes are dulled, and I have lost the urge to fight, but is it more than that? Is the amulet sucking away my will as well as my strength?
Am I just giving into the apathy?
“Maybe not.”
“Or maybe that’s part of how it works?” Dana says. “It takes away your killer instincts. I wish you would consider—”
“No, Dana, I promised. Plus, it’s doing its job. The Crawler hasn’t struck again. Nothing bad has happened since I put it on.”
“Except you are like a shell of yourself.”
“It’s not forever, though.”
Dana shakes her head. “Are you sure about that?”
“Hey, Dana, do you, uh, talk to Mom and Dad at all?”