by Kurtz, Timna
“I…I…” I muttered, confused. I tried, in vain, to explain that there was no point in saving my soul, now that my darling Idan was taken and no longer with me, there was no use. The words jumbled in my mouth, as I was still wondering where the hell he came from.
“This is Idan, my son,” I pointed at a photo I took out of my pocket. The rain drizzled on the photo, damping the face of the boy in it. “I can’t find him anywhere. He was with his father on the other side of Europe. No one is answering the phone, or any other form of communication for that matter. But you, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your wife and little baby? Why aren’t you with them Eddie?” I redirected the questions to him.
“Come,” he said. “You can’t stay here. I’ll explain on the way.”
“Right now we need to get to the other side of the harbor, where there’s less commotion, to arrive at the ship we are expected to board. They are waiting for us,” he started to explain as he was lifting me off the ground.
Since I had been sitting for so long, my legs were soaked, cold and numb. I could hardly stand, let alone walk. “Us? Who’s us? No one is waiting for me!” I protested in frustration. His rescuing ideas did not sit well with my unwillingness to live. Why did he have to show up and ruin my plans? “Leave me alone Eddie, I don’t want to go. I already lost Idan, so it doesn’t matter now if I drift away with the waters,” I tried to resist. “Leave me here, and join your family, they should be your first priority!” I said as I pushed his helping arms away from me.
“Grace! I can’t leave you here,” he said with his eyes burning intensely as his hands tightened their grip. “You are coming with me, even if it means carrying you. I’m alone, just like you! Helen and Robbie were in New York when all of this started, and you damn well know where New York is right now…” his voice cracked for a second. He held my face with his two hands, stroking the rain drops away from my cheeks. Suddenly, he kissed me, a long, soft and moist kiss. When he held me, pinning me to him, I could feel his pain and despair, but mostly, I could sense his sheer determination and hope his love for me had sprouted. I felt my body come to life as my legs thawed.
Although I was crushed, I couldn’t deny the sensation running up and down my spine, hasting my heartbeat, that minutes earlier had resigned itself to stop. In the midst of the commotion, I found myself kissing him back. A strange vibe tickled my spine again, sending flows of energy through my broken, crushed soul.
Eddie gently pushed me away and stroked my cheeks again. “I have no intention of losing you once more,” he whispered in determination, and I knew, he meant every word!
* * *
Chapter 3
When the sun was about to set, the water levels had reduced another three or four meters. As the water levels went down, more and more rocks and mountain terrain were exposed. Plants that survived the flood were now visible, sprouting from the mud. The greenish sight reinforced the sense of relief that was spreading amongst us all. Our life boats that just this morning were still floating at ankle height were dangling, hanging from the protruding rocks we had tied them to.
It was of utmost importance that we watch over these boats. During most of our swept-away voyage, we were huddled in the life boats, alert to every unexpected turn, large wave, crushing storm or undercurrent whirlpools threatening to suck the little ship into the deep.
Thus, we sat in small groups. The ship’s personnel were the only ones who could go about the ship. They were entrusted with bringing the thinning food rations to us or releasing the life boats, should the time come. Most of them did not survive the overturning of the ship, but they managed to carry out their crucial duty of releasing the life boats quite successfully. Much to our regret, many of the life boats overturned too and drifted apart, far from each other.
We tied our boat with a thick rope to three other boats, but when a sudden whirlpool started pulling one of the boats in, threatening to drag the other boats with it, Eddie had no recourse but to cut the rope, while struggling himself with the strong pull watching his last remaining kin being swept away to their death.
For three whole days, he was agonized by his conscience. He did not utter a word. He only buried his face in my lap when the pain was too much, sobbing uncontrollably. I cried too, grieving with him, reliving my personal loss all over again. Everyone sitting beside us cried. Eddie’s loss was ours as well. We all lost everything. Three boats, fifteen people in each boat, forty-five souls–of which three were children and the rest adults of different ages. Forty-five people that had their world shattered, washed away, gone, wiped away with the entire world.
When we hit a rocky terrain–probably a mountain top–it was Eddie’s suggestion to tie the boats up. Now that the water levels were going down, the life boats could be used as roofs over our heads, as awnings to supply us with shade and protect our skin.
Because of their heavy weight, pulling the boats up to us was pointless. It is for that reason we all agreed that we would descend to the boats, and there, situate our first camp, because it was at that altitude where the surface of the island widened. Now we are able to also use the wood from one boat to build a fire, if possible, if the wood comprising the boat had dried.
Since the day was winding down and we had maybe one hour of daylight left, everyone was anxious to run down and warm themselves in front of a fire, for the first time in many weeks.
Eddie was first to descend. Always the guide and leader, the pillar or fire before the camp, he clutched the rope, lowering himself down. After descending about two meters, when it seemed as if it was going well, Leo started descending down the rope too. Leo was Eddie’s best friend, big boned and strong himself.
The sound of crackling stone was suddenly heard. We all looked, panicked, at where the rope was tied to the rocks—but that wasn’t where the rope’s weak point was. Leo’s foot stepped on a treacherous group of rocks. Rocks that the water had managed to split and crack, after millenniums of exposure to the sun and winds. A startled cry escaped Leo’s lips as a big chunk of earth, stones and rocks gave in from under him and was about to plummet down, threatening to take Eddie with it.
“Eddie!!” I screamed in horror, realizing in a split second what was going to happen. Eddie, looking up, instantly knew the calamity that was about to befall on him. Our eyes met with anxiety, with a mute stare I understood the choice he made. It all happened so quickly. His hands unclenched the rope as he tried to leap towards the mountain’s wall. The cliff we stood on was protruding above him, and when the rocks came down, he vanished without a trace.
Stunned we stared at the rocks meeting the water with a great splash and spray all around. But, before we managed to stomach Eddie’s disappearance, more cracks started to form at the edge of the cliff we were standing on. The first cracking triggered an even bigger avalanche. Everyone started shouting and shoving, terrified and panicked, trying to escape the new verdict that had come upon us, or better yet, under us. Everything happened in a span of a few, everlasting seconds. The small island beneath our feet was trembling under us—the weight of forty people turned out to be, as it seemed, too much of a mass for this weakened rock.
Instead of running to higher ground, I fell flat on the ground, grabbing a large rock, putting my arms around it and closing my eyes. I was certain that, within a brief moment, I would encounter the water and meet my maker. But, after a few seconds that felt like an hour, when the ground under me did not go anywhere and deadly silence was all around, I opened my eyes. Much to my amazement, part of the cliff that had fallen had separated from the mountain a mere foot and a half from me. Only now, a much more dangerous and steep cliff had formed—a slope that faced the inner side of the mountain. Apart from Leo and Eddie, three more people plummeted to their death.
Out of the deadly silence, we suddenly heard a terrifying cry for help, snapping us out of the shock we were in. It was Leo’s call, who was hanging from the side of the cliff, barely holding on to the
small protruding rocks. I was relieved to see him. The rope from the boat was hanging about two feet from him, dangling from side to side by the wind. Its torn edge told us immediately that our boat had fallen into the water as well.
I crawled on my underbelly to take a peak around the rock. Fragments of the smashed boat were floating slowly on the currents, drifting away from us.
“Hurry! we need to help Leo!” I shouted frantically. “The rope! We have to throw him the rope and pull him up!” By now I wasn’t thinking anymore about Eddie or myself, about Idan my little boy or the danger that standing on the edge of the cliff posed. The very life of another was hanging by a thread, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave him to nature’s mercy. Apparently, everyone felt the same.
If Eddie was the undisputed leader of the group, then Leo was his right-hand man. In these situations, there’s always a need for a strong character to breathe faith and determination into the people, and no one wanted to lose Leo as well.
With joint forces, we pulled him up to us. Panting and distraught, Leo lay on his back trying to regulate his breathing. “Eddie! Eddie! Where is Eddie?” he blurted between breaths.
Silence. No one answered. We all kept quiet, passing broken looks between one another. Leo would not be able to bear the thought of Eddie leaving us. Although he was a fine fellow, and even commanded the ship’s crew fiercely and calmly—Eddie’s presence, his childhood best friend, was what kept his spirit strong.
When no one answered his question, Leo directed it to me. “Where is Eddie, Grace? What happened to him?”
“I’m afraid that….he didn’t manage to…” I choked on my tears and couldn’t complete the sentence. I held Leo’s hand. I tried to comfort him while attempting to comfort myself at the same time. But the pain was unbearable. I didn’t try to stop the tears that came gushing out, shaking me all over, I cried…
* * *
Chapter 4
Ten years earlier…
I was in my merry twenties. I was a waitress at a busy coffee shop in the center of the big city. Saturday night, the place was packed, and I had been running around with loaded trays since morning.
Four young, handsome men were gathering around a table that had just cleared. I leaped onto their table to take their order, dragging a chair with me; I sat with them at the head of the table.
It was an unconventional thing for me to do, as everyone knows that waiters are obliged to stand while taking an order from customers or serving them. But the coffee shop was of a lively nature, and my legs could surely use a rest at this point.
The young men ordered hot beverages. I was glad to realize they had a sense of responsibility, and that they weren’t like many other youths that ordered alcohol. They also inquired about our cakes and desserts, and while I described the array of tempting sweets we had on the menu, I gazed at the most handsome guy of the bunch. He certainly was the quiet one in the group, but he stood out with presence. His demeanor was noble and respectable, and his beautiful face added a glow of captivating aura.
All of a sudden I noticed that I was addressing only him, telling him about the cakes, and he, looking back at me, answered with a charming embarrassed smile.
“Ahh, excuse me! Why is he the only one listening to me?!” I tried to find a way out of the awkward situation when I realized his friends noticed the glowing smiles exchanged across the table. The bashful blushing smiles of both of us kept on throughout the evening. Each time I passed by their table, especially when checking their service satisfaction, I was smiling uncontrollably at him. If I may say so, the four of them were quite content with the service, especially him…
I don’t even remember when they asked for the check and left—the coffee shop was so busy and crowded—but their table was now empty, and so were the coffee mugs and the cake plates. The chairs had no one sitting on them, and I stood there, flustered and contemplative by the table. I gazed outside and looked around, trying to peek at the street ahead, but they had vanished.
I collected the dishes and the payment they had left, smiling at the sight of the generous tip they left, feeling like I missed out. At least they enjoyed the service, I tried to console myself as I stacked the cups and plates on the big tray. The magical and successful night took a disappointing turn.
I was positive something clicked between us. I didn’t even have a chance to make first contact of the basic names exchange before they left. I would not be exaggerating if I said, at least on my part it was love at first sight. The kind I had waited for my whole life! I thought to myself while I tallied up the register and handed the dirty dishes to the diligent kitchen workers.
“Excuse me?” I heard an embarrassed manly mumble behind me. My heart leaped for joy. He’s back!!! I turned around with a rapid and excited move. Now, standing in front of me, I noticed his fine build and tall stature, one that could easily fuel a career in modeling.
One couldn’t scrape the smile off my face with a spatula. He smiled back, and once more he was a little embarrassed when he said, “I had to return and ask if it would bother anyone… ehh… if I ask for your telephone number?”
“I don’t think it would bother anyone,” I replied, glowing. This amazing guy had come back especially for me!
“So, if it doesn’t bother you too–” he smiled, pleased as well, “I would like to know…when can I call you and ask you out for coffee?” It was clear that, even though he was an unbelievably handsome man, he wasn’t accustomed to pick-ups or conquests of women. He had a modest shyness about him, a fact which thrilled me even more. There was nothing about him which was that of the charmers or using types looking only for their next conquest. No, he was a pure gentleman. I wrote down my home phone number for him as well as my number at the coffee shop since I was due to work another shift the next day.
“But after my shift, if it’s not too late, I will be more than pleased to join you,” I smiled, happy and smug.
“I will give you a call tomorrow night, and you can tell me then when your shift ends. I….only I don’t know your name…” Again, the sweet awkwardness.
“I am Grace!” I hurried to supply the requested information and giggled.
“We almost left out the most important piece of information–I am Eddie,” he smiled and took my hand for a gentle shake. Although it is no longer the custom to kiss a maiden’s hand, I was sure he was just the type to do that wholeheartedly. His hand was large and warm, and his touch delivered a pleasant promise for the future.
In the early evening hours of the next day the phone rang in the coffee shop. Excited I told him that it looked like it was going to be a relatively slow night, which meant that my shift would probably end early. We agreed he would come to pick me up at midnight. Although it was without a doubt a late hour, especially considering that the morning foretelling the beginning of the work week was soon upon us, the nightlife in the big city was still lively and buzzing–and we were both excited about our date. The hour of the day meant nothing to us.
He arrived exactly on time, punctual. Positively noted. He wore a pair of dark jeans and a turtleneck pullover. Simple yet elegant, which fit his tall, aristocratic figure.
I was busy cleaning and rearranging the coffee shop after the last diner had left. Without hesitating, he pulled up his sleeves and helped me stack the chairs, dragging them to one side of the shop. Positively noted again.
We stepped onto the cold streets, and this kind gentleman helped me, of course, to put on my coat. I took him to my favorite coffee house, one of those places that stays open till dawn. The hours went by swiftly, and the conversation was pleasant and fluent. The looks and smiles we shared the night before did not disappoint, and the connection I felt deepened further.
At 4 am, Eddie pulled over in front of my house. We both knew we would get no sleep that night. Myself—from excitement, and he was supposed to be on his way home, as a long drive awaited him and he had to be at work by 7 am. A few more flustered mumbles and blushin
g promises to meet again soon, Eddie daringly leaned towards me and kissed me.
If this was love at first sight, its status was officially declared by that kiss. Like the lyrics of the famous “shoop shoop” song by Cher that say: “If you wanna know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss!”
His soft sweet kiss lengthened and deepened, and yet did not lose its gentleness or intenseness. Butterflies in all colors of the rainbow were fluttering happily around in my stomach, but eventually, I realized that if I wished to see Eddie again, it would be better to let him go on his way. Therefore, I unwillingly let myself out of his car.
Oh… this sweet fall into the warm gooey, sticky mess we call love. The lengthy phone conversations, the longing, the yearning, the almost unbearable anticipation of another meeting. The following dates were just as magical, and we were both clear as to the direction we were headed.
The final seal of approval of a match made in heaven was given when we made love for the first time. Eddie slid into me so gently, emphasizing our perfect physical compatibility. After a brief month of acquaintance, we moved in together. Six months later we got engaged, and the future looked brighter than ever.
Unfortunately, not everyone felt like we did, and soon the first cracks started to appear in our rosy love nest…
* * *
Chapter 5
Minutes passed as Roan and I sobbed for Eddie’s passing. The void created in me when I lost Idan was multiplied now that Eddie was gone, and in those moments, it felt like it would never be filled again. Glances exchanged between Roan and I made it clear he was experiencing the same black hole in the pit of his stomach. But—it was now obvious, even without it being said explicitly, or asked of us, that the responsibility and leadership of the group now lay on our shoulders. It was felt by the desperate looks piercing the back of our necks, gazing at us, waiting for our approval that indeed we would be taking on the lead.