by Nikki Rashan
I snickered. “Is that right? She was pretty damn comfortable at your place earlier. What’s the problem now?”
“Yeah, she was. Sorry it all came down to this, Asia,” she offered.
I rolled my eyes. “Please. You and Kyla and your tired-ass apologies. It’s not necessary, especially when you don’t mean it. Yesterday she apologized for having feelings for you, and today she fucked you. So really? That’s being sorry?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have given her permission. Do you think maybe this is your fault?” Angie challenged with a confident expression.
I walked up to her slowly and stood in her face. She smelled of alcohol too.
“You want to blame this shit on me? This is you, Angie, all you. It’s been your two-faced ass coming up around here all these years, in my face, the whole time having feelings for Kyla. That’s some sneaky-ass shit. A real woman, a respectful woman, would have stopped coming around a long time ago, instead of waiting for an opening to fuck up somebody else’s relationship just because hers ended.”
Angie stared at Kyla. Her breathing had deepened and was loud and slow. She almost appeared innocent, but everyone in the room knew otherwise.
“I can’t help how I feel about her,” Angie finally said.
“Bullshit! You should have controlled how you handled it. The same way you didn’t say shit about it all these years, you should have kept your mouth quiet now. And if you didn’t think you could, you should have walked away. Kyla would have been all right without you, trust me. Now her head is all fucked up and twisted.”
Angie looked at me, her brown eyes exuding superiority. “We both know she didn’t have to accept any of this, especially my invitation today. She had a choice, Asia. She made it.”
I wanted to slap her. “You have some big-ass balls walking in my house, talking to me like this.”
“It’s Kyla’s house too.”
“Not for long, it’s not.”
“That’s cool. She’s got a place to stay.” Angie winked at me.
“You are such a bitch,” I told her. “You’ve been waiting on this, haven’t you? This is exactly the reason exes shouldn’t be friends. Somebody is usually still holding on to unresolved feelings, and then shit like this happens. Well, you can have her now. How does it feel to get back one of the trampiest women in Atlanta?”
“Come on, you don’t mean that.”
“Oh, right, I forgot you two are alike, anyway. I hope it works, but really, who’s going to be the first to cheat? I can’t wait to watch this fiasco.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve never cheated on any woman I’ve been with, and I would never cheat on Kyla.”
“Really? You want to claim that? All this love you claim you’ve had for Kyla over the years . . . You don’t think that was cheating? I bet Deidra did. Maybe I didn’t see it, and maybe Kyla didn’t know it, either, but trust me, a woman knows if she places second in your heart.”
“Deidra knew what was up a long time ago, and she chose to stay.” Angie laughed. “You know, Asia, I guess I owe you a double apology. Looks like I took two women from you.”
I fought back angry tears. “You better get your lying, backstabbing ass out of my house right now. I don’t have time for this shit. I’m going back to bed. By tomorrow night she’s all yours.”
“Thank you,” Angie replied arrogantly and then bent to kiss Kyla’s rotten-smelling face. “Good night, Asia.” She nodded her head at me and whistled as she headed for the door.
In all my life I hadn’t used such restraint to keep from hitting another woman. I wasn’t the fighting type of chick and refused to resort to that type of behavior. The more Angie and Kyla pushed me, the more unsure I became that I’d be able to contain myself should they flaunt their affair in my face again.
I hadn’t gone back to sleep all night, and I was physically and emotionally fatigued when I got in my truck and left Kyla, confused and baffled, on the couch. When I reached my office suite in East Point, I sat at my desk and considered my next move. The headache of a breakup already overwhelmed me, in addition to the emotional transition I was experiencing trying to fall out of love with Kyla since I found out she slept with Angie. I was disgusted by Kyla’s actions and sickened even more by the fact that I still hated to see her go.
I didn’t feel like rearranging my life without her. I knew those on the outside looking in always encouraged someone in the midst of a transition with phrases such as “It’ll take time” and “You’ll be okay without her,” just as Kyla and I had with Angie. But what was often forgotten was, no matter the circumstances and no matter the anger, it hurt like hell to have to give up on the dreams and plans of forever a person believed in. Did I think Kyla was the worst person in the world for what she had done? No. I left that space for murderers and child molesters. But did that mean I’d be able to forgive her and keep her in my life? No, I couldn’t.
I had to determine how to pass the time. I had never fully understood the nuances of breakup etiquette. What was protocol? Lie in bed for weeks, crying over lost love? Hell, no. Pick up the phone and start calling old friends to see if they wanted to hang out because I was single again? Pathetic. Make myself available for someone new to come into my life? Possibly. Should I really sit back alone while Kyla rekindled her intimacy with Angie?
I sent Melanie a text. It’s done. She cheated already. What to do now?
Less than thirty seconds later she called.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” she exclaimed, her morning voice cracking a little.
“Not kidding. I wish I was.”
“What happened?”
I gave Melanie a short version of the text from Deidra that had informed me that Kyla was at Angie’s. I told her how I had waited outside Angie’s, had watched Kyla leave, and had followed her to David’s. “She came home and confessed they had sex, and then had the audacity to go back out and meet her later on.”
“I can’t believe it.” Melanie sounded disappointed.
“Believe it. Get this. Angie brought her home drunk.”
“Oh my God! You didn’t kill them both, did you?”
I laughed. “No. Otherwise, I’d be calling you to represent my case.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I called you. I need some advice. I’ve never been this deep into a relationship with so much to sort out.”
“It’s not easy. I’ll tell you that. It took almost a year before my ex and I fully separated. She had too much she needed to get together before she could move out. And you two have a house together. What will you do about that?”
“We’ll have to figure that out. Right now I told her she has to be gone by the time I get home tonight.”
“You kicked her out of her own house?”
“For now, yes. I don’t want to walk around my house all tensed up. And she’s the one who messed up, anyway. She should go.”
“You know, technically, she doesn’t have to go.”
“I know, but she will.”
“You don’t know that. People get to acting crazy when you try telling them what they can and can’t do.”
“That’s true. Kyla won’t. She’s too ashamed. Plus, I think she’s really going to go ahead and see how things go with Angie. Nothing to hold her back now.”
“I just can’t believe it,” Melanie repeated. “How are you doing? For real.”
“I’m mad. I’m most pissed off that I have to rearrange my life again.”
“You have to keep yourself busy,” she suggested.
“I do. What do you suppose I should do? Find some hot little thing to make her jealous?” We laughed.
“Not to make her jealous. We’re too old for those games. But if you find somebody in the meantime, well, do what you have to do,” she advised.
“How long did you wait to date after your ex?” I wanted to know.
“Not long, but it was different. By the time we officially bro
ke up, the relationship had been over for months. I tried to date Jo while still living with my ex, but Jo wasn’t having it. I had to wait until we weren’t living together anymore. It was worth it. But don’t you go rushing anything. This is still really fresh and sudden. You have to cry and release. I know you want to be tough and all, but this has got to be affecting you.”
“I told you I’m mad. What? You expected me to call you, crying? I don’t do that kind of shit. Kyla and Angie have me wrong if they think I’m about to sit back in pity-party mode while they move on.”
“I got you. Make sure you only do what you really want to, not something in an effort to get back at them.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry. I won’t go shooting up the apartment. I’ll call you if I get the impulse, though.”
She laughed. “Deal.”
“Thanks, Melanie. I appreciate you listening.”
“No problem. Anytime. Seriously, let me know if you need anything. I feel bad this has happened. You two have always seemed so happy. It’s like this came out of nowhere.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised it’s come to this too. I can admit that things haven’t been as exciting as they used to be, but that’s normal. It doesn’t mean go out and cheat with a friend because you’re bored. Know what I mean? She should have had more restraint and more respect. She should have come to me.”
“She did come to you. She told you everything you just told me. You’re the one who told her to keep exploring her feelings,” Melanie reminded me gently. She was right.
“I didn’t expect her to. Not the next damn day. You’re saying it’s my fault?”
“Not at all. I’m saying you should have communicated truthful feelings to her when she opened up to you. People have to be more careful with what they say in relationships. If in reality you wanted her to ease off Angie and work on your relationship, then you should have said that. Not told her the opposite to see if she’d come chasing after you.”
“I wanted her to work on us because that’s what she wanted. Not because of my urging. She made her choice.”
“With your nudge. Still, I hear what you’re saying.”
“I’ll update you later. Go on. I know I just talked your head off before your workday even started.”
“No problem. You kept me company on my way in. Catch me up later.”
“All right, Melanie.”
I leaned back in my chair and extended my arms behind my head. I had intended to spend the entire day in the office, but after the Kyla and Angie episode, I had a new plan. I scrolled through the schedules of my nurses on duty and grinned when I came across the name I was looking for. She had a two-hour lunch break between patients. Perfect. I picked up the phone.
“Sam, it’s Asia.”
“Oh, good morning, Asia,” she replied sweetly.
“I see you have a long lunch today. Do you have plans?”
“I don’t.”
“Meet me.”
“Of course.”
“Looks like you’re over near West End. Twelve o’clock at Landon’s?”
“Yes, okay.”
“Great. I’ll see you then.”
“Bye.”
I knew what I was about to do was wrong. However, Kyla wasn’t the only one with someone in her back pocket to cushion the fall. Sam was young, free-spirited, and everything I needed to distract me, but not tie me down.
Thirteen
Kyla
“Can I get you anything?”
I settled against the futon in Angie’s extra bedroom and looked around. The space was small, but warm, with Deidra’s touches throughout. A Buddha statue sat in the corner of the window ledge, though I knew Angie had Christian beliefs. A plant hung on the balcony, but a green thumb, Angie did not have. The pillows Angie gave me were wrapped in lavender pillowcases, Deidra’s favorite color.
“I’m all right.” It was a lie.
“I’ll give you some time. Know I’m right out here.”
I nodded, and she closed the door.
After Asia left for work that morning, I lay on the couch for an hour, debating whether or not to oblige her request. The house was just as much mine as hers, and she had no legal right to make me leave. I very well could have stayed, and she couldn’t have done a thing about it. I had almost convinced myself to stay; it was only once I became honest with my feelings that I admitted to myself that I didn’t want to stay. Not under the current circumstances. There was no reason to delay what I knew would happen, anyway.
I called Angie and told her Asia kicked me out of the house. Angie canceled her appointments for the rest of the day and agreed to pick me up so we could get my car from the bar in Midtown where I left it, too drunk to drive. I would then follow her to her apartment.
“Deidra knew you were here yesterday, by the way. I’m sure she told Asia,” Angie also told me. Slowly, I put it all together. Deidra’s big mouth had told Asia about Angie and me again. I realized that was Asia’s truck I had seen outside David’s house; she had followed me. She had known my whereabouts and had made assumptions about my actions by the time she got home.
I got up, showered, and swallowed three Tylenol with black coffee. I packed some personal toiletries and shoved handfuls of undergarments and comfortable clothes in a suitcase. Even though I called in to work, I selected three business suits for the remainder of the week. I left the house with an understanding that it wasn’t the last time I would be there, yet the moment was pivotal. Nothing would ever be the same once I walked out the door.
Angie knocked on the door again. Cautiously, she stepped inside. “Thought I’d bring you some tea, anyway.”
“I don’t want any tea, Angie.”
“Just take it. It’ll help you feel better.”
“Okay.” I took the warm mug. The burgundy-colored liquid smelled of raspberry.
“If you get hungry, let me know. I’m about to fix myself something.”
“I will. I’m about to make a call and then lie down for a while.”
“How’s your head?”
“Better.”
“If you need more Tylenol, it’s in the hall cabinet. I can get it for you.”
“Thanks.”
She backed out of the room and left me alone again. I lay comfortably on the futon and scrolled to David’s number on my phone. He answered on the second ring
“Hey, David.”
“Hey, baby girl. I’ve been waiting on your call. What’s going on?”
“Well, I’m at Angie’s place, with packed bags. That should answer your question.”
“What? Honey, tell me what the hell happened.”
“After I left you, I went home and waited for Asia. I was all set to tell her what happened with Angie and me. I didn’t know then, but I just found out she already knew I had been to Angie’s and she followed me to your house. She took over the entire conversation and cursed me out. I left after that.”
“Damn, damn, damn. How did she already know?”
“Deidra.”
“Aw, shit! So now both of them probably think this has been going on for more than a minute.”
“Probably. This morning she told me I had to go.”
“Why would you go to Angie’s? You know you can come here. It’s not right for you to be there,” he warned. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I messed up. I’m thinking there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I’m thinking Asia won’t take me back even if I beg. So I came here. Angie is what got me to this point, so I’m going to see what happens.”
“What happens? You talking about jumping right into a relationship with Angie? Are you crazy?”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Carry your skinny little ass back home with your tail between your legs and ask for forgiveness. That’s what you need to do. This is wrong, baby girl, just wrong.”
“I’m already here, David. This is where I’ll be for now.”
He sighed. “So you’ve moved
in with Angie?”
“Right now I’ll stay here. I’ll see about going back home once things have calmed down a bit.”
“You mean after you see how things are going with Angie, don’t you?”
I was quiet. I knew his statement was true. This was not to say I had fallen out of love with Asia and was ready to move on with Angie, but I needed some time apart to see if Angie was all she had proclaimed herself to be.
“I just need a little time, that’s all. Asia won’t hear a thing I have to say right now, other than letting her know I’m gone.”
“You’re probably right about that. Probably the only thing you’re right about these days. Well, don’t go taking too much time, or she won’t hear you at all.”
“I won’t. Anyway, this is where I’ll be at least for the rest of the week.”
“If you come to your senses, you know our couch is open.”
“Thanks. I know.”
“I’ll check on you later,” David told me firmly. “Don’t go not answering your phone.”
“Okay.”
“And stay out of Angie’s bed.”
“Bye. David.” I couldn’t promise that.
Just as I hung up the phone and sipped the cooled tea, Angie tapped on the door.
“I made some breakfast for lunch. Come out and join me?”
Inside I moaned. Angie hadn’t even given me ten minutes of alone time, and already she was back. I was annoyed but reminded myself why I was there, to sort out my feelings about her. I needed to take advantage of every moment. It seemed she was going to force me to, anyway.
Angie held the door while I stepped out of the room. Apparently, she expected me to say yes, or she would have begged until I did, because she had decorated the dining table and put together a cute candlelit lunch.
“Have a seat.” Angie held a chair out for me. I wanted to protest, but instead I accepted her gesture. “I figured you hadn’t eaten and probably needed more coffee. How are you feeling?”
“Not too well, but I’m hungry. Thank you. This smells really good.”
We ate quietly for a few minutes before I began a conversation.
“What happened last night between you and Asia?”