‘Haste ye back,’ Mrs Haggarty said, as they were leaving.
‘How much do I owe you,’ Laura asked, hastily. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to keep me for nothing.’
The woman roared with laughter. ‘How much do I owe you, would be more like it. You’ve worked like a slave since you came, so I’ll call it quits, and remember, even if you’re not on leave at the same time as Pat again, you’ll be welcome any time.’
As they walked away, Pat said, ‘She really meant that.’
Very grateful to them for not having tried out to find out why she didn’t go home, Laura realized that there had been no mention, either, of Pat having a steady boyfriend.
Their next leaves not coinciding, Laura went to Glasgow by herself. Mrs Haggarty, thankful for her help in the mornings, insisted that she took a break in the afternoons, so the girl sometimes wandered round the larger stores in Sauchiehall Street and Buchanan Street; sometimes she went to the Broomielaw to watch the ships on the Clyde; once to Kelvingrove Park, where she spent a very pleasant hour in the Art Gallery. But she was happiest just pottering about with Mrs Haggarty, who treated her like a daughter and made her promise to regard Glasgow as her home.
Jenny Porter, another WAAF, joined her at Inverness on the last lap of her return journey. ‘Thank goodness I’ve met you, Fullerton. I hate travelling on my own, don’t you?’
‘I don’t really mind. Have you been on leave, too?’
Jenny beamed. ‘Yes, and I’d a super time. I went out every night with a boy I met, and he’s going to write to me, so it might be the start of something big. How was yours?’
Laura shrugged. ‘Nothing so exciting, but I enjoyed it.’
‘I heard you were going to Glasgow?’
‘Yes. I went with Pat Haggarty last time, and her mother invited me back.’
After a quick, sideways glance, Jenny murmured, ‘We were all amazed at you going away with Haggarty, you know.’
‘Oh? Why was that?’ Laura was mystified.
Looking uncomfortable, Jenny said, ‘You know.’
‘No, I don’t. Why shouldn’t I go home with Pat?’
‘She’s not like the rest of us. She’s ... er ...’
With a sinking stomach, it dawned on Laura what was being implied. ‘Are you saying she’s ... one of those?’
‘We thought you knew, and with you not bothering with any boys either, we wondered if you ...’ Jenny’s voice tailed off at the other girl’s expression. ‘We didn’t really think you were.’
‘I’m bloody not!’ Laura was indignant. ‘And Pat never did anything to make me think she was either.’
‘Oh, well, you probably had a lucky escape.’ Jenny took a paper bag out of her respirator. ‘My Mum saves up her sweet coupons until I go home,’ she explained, and offered the bag to Laura, who took one absentmindedly.
They chewed the caramels in silence. It could only happen to her, Laura thought, dismally. Why could her life not be straightforward like other girls’? She understood now about Pat, but it gave her no satisfaction. What a fool she’d been, but such a thing had never entered her head.
Trying to atone for the shock she had sprung, Jenny chattered about her boyfriend for the remainder of the journey, but Laura was not listening. What could she say when she was alone with Pat, knowing what she did about her? She could hardly come straight out and say, ‘Are you a lesbian?’ It was a word she had only read, never heard actually spoken, and this was going to be another drama-fraught situation.
Her problem was solved when Pat approached her next day as they left the Mess. ‘I believe you travelled part of the way back last night with Jenny Porter? Did she tell you what they all say about me?’
‘Yes, Pat, she did.’
‘I’m glad you know.’
Laura could detect something odd about the other girl’s manner. ‘It’s not true, though, is it?’
‘No, it’s not.’
‘Why don’t you set the daft bitches straight, then?’
‘I don’t care what they say. It doesn’t hurt now.’
Laura felt sorry for her, but suspected that there was more to it than Pat was saying. ‘There’s something else behind it, isn’t there? The real reason you don’t go out with any boys?’
The silence was so long that Laura wished she hadn’t tried to find out, but at last Pat said, ‘There is a reason, but I can’t speak about it.’
‘That’s all right. There’s something I can’t tell anybody, either, so now we understand, we won’t ask each other any awkward questions.’ Laura paused, then said, ‘Are we going to the pictures tonight?’
Pat gripped her hand gratefully. ‘OK, Laura.’
They carried on as they had done before Jenny Porter’s cruel insinuation, but Laura was annoyed when the other girls avoided her too. It was a few weeks before she became accustomed to it, but eventually she could laugh when she saw them change direction when she and Pat went anywhere near them.
Chapter Twenty-eight
1943
When the last two passengers left their carriage at Newcastle, John Watson wasted no time in kissing his wife. Agnes smiled at him uncertainly, her green eyes, set in long dark fringes, making him want to kiss her over and over again. ‘I’m really scared, darling,’ she murmured.
‘There’s no need. Mum and Dad are going to love you, so stop worrying and look forward to our honeymoon. We’d only forty-eight hours when we got married, so it didn’t count.’
A twinkle appeared in the twin green pools. ‘It counted for me.’
Blushing boyishly, he grinned. ‘You know what I meant. All that matters is I love you, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’ Agnes settled back into the padded seat and looked out of the window.
John’s mind returned to the day they had met. He had been going home on leave, with no interest in life, but as soon as she had hovered in the doorway of his carriage, his spirits had soared and his heart, dead for over a year, had played a loud tattoo against his ribs. He had squeezed up to make room for her and when she sat down, they had begun to talk.
‘I work in a munitions factory in Dagenham,’ she had told him, ‘but I’m going to see my Aunt Dolly. Her husband’s stationed at Dyce Aerodrome, and my dad said it would be safer up there. I didn’t want to leave Mum and him, not with the bombing, but they persuaded me to go – just for a week, though I nearly changed my mind when I saw how full the train was.’
He glanced at her now, but she was still gazing pensively out at the countryside. ‘Penny for ‘em, darling,’ he joked.
‘I was remembering the last time we made this journey.’
‘Two minds with but a single thought. We were old friends by the time we got off the train.’
She giggled delightedly. ‘Before we reached Edinburgh, you’d made me promise to meet you in Aberdeen.’
‘I didn’t want to lose contact with you, for I’ve loved you since I saw you in the corridor looking lost.’
‘Me, too. Are you glad now I made you marry me?’
‘You know I am, but I still think we should have waited. For your sake, I mean – in case anything happens to me.’
The light went out of her eyes. ‘Nothing’s going to happen to you, darling, so don’t be so pessimistic.’
Before he could kiss her again, a passing soldier peered into their compartment and shouted behind him, ‘There’s some empty seats here.’ Immediately, another three Seaforth Highlanders appeared and bundled in beside Agnes and John.
‘We’ve been standing since York,’ one of them remarked as they sat down. ‘How long have these seats been free?’
‘Just since Newcastle. Sorry, I didn’t realize anybody was still standing.’ John was even more sorry that he would no longer be alone with his wife, but it couldn’t be helped.
‘That’s OK, mate. Are we intruding on young love?’
‘You are,’ laughed John, ‘but we’re married.’
The soldier pulled out a b
attered packet of cigarettes and held it towards John. ‘Fag?’
‘No thanks.’
Good-natured ribbing between the four soldiers – on the way to Aberdeen to change trains for Forres – gave Agnes and John no further chance to talk privately, and when the train pulled into the Joint Station, they said goodbye to their travelling companions and made their way out.
‘Just as well they didn’t know we’ve only been married for a couple of months and this is our honeymoon. They’d have made a meal of that.’ He tucked her arm through his and looked at her solicitously. ‘Not long now, darling.’
Helen and Jimmy were also anxious about this meeting. As she had said when John had written that he was bringing his wife to see them, ‘We’ve been blessed with one wonderful daughter-in-law, we can’t expect Providence to provide us with another one as good as Margaret.’ Their worries were forgotten as soon as John ushered in the tall, raven-haired girl, her green eyes friendly and her pleasant face breaking into an attractive smile, and Helen put up a silent prayer of thanks that he had got over Laura Fullerton.
While Jimmy was questioning Agnes about the London bombing, Helen took the opportunity to have a quiet word with John. ‘Have you told her about ...?’
‘Yes, Mum, I have. She knows everything, so don’t worry.’
‘Thank goodness for that.’ Helen’s cup of happiness would have been full if it hadn’t been that she still did not know what had become of Laura and Elspeth. She sup-posed that the girl had fallen in love with somebody else by now, like John, but her mother ...
Over the past two years, Laura had stoically endured her self-imposed withdrawal from social contact with the opposite sex, but eventually the lure of the dance hall proved too strong to ignore. She longed for the music, the lights, the atmosphere the excitement of being held in a man’s arms – any man’s arms. Towards the middle of December, she raised the subject with her friend. ‘Did you never go to any dances at all?’
Pat Haggarty smiled sadly. ‘At one time, I went dancing every week. It was at a dance that I met ...’ Biting her lip, she broke off, her eyes revealing a deep sorrow.
Guessing that it must have been someone very special, Laura wondered what had gone wrong, but if Pat had enjoyed dancing before, it was time she gave it another try. ‘Would it upset you to go to the do tonight? We’d go together and come back together, and you don’t have to dance with anybody if you don’t want to.’
‘In that case, there’s not much point in me going,’ Pat said, drily, then saw how disappointed Laura was. ‘You really want to go, don’t you? Why don’t you go by yourself?’
‘I’m not going unless you come, too.’
‘Well, you’ve been very understanding with me so far ... OK, I’ll go with you – just this once.’
Laura’s face lit up. ‘Wizard! But remember, if you feel you can’t take it, say the word and we’ll leave right away.’
After tea, they applied their make-up, swapping lipsticks for a change, and Laura, whose short curls needed little attention, waited until Pat pinned up her side hair and brushed the back into a pageboy roll. When they were ready, each gave the other an approving ‘thumbs-up’.
Laura’s excitement reached fever pitch when she entered the hall and picked up the familiar smell – a conglomeration of cheap perfume, perspiration and Slipperene. They sat down at the side, but after a quickstep and a Lambeth Walk with no one asking them to dance, Laura pulled Pat reluctantly to her feet. She soon mastered the art of leading, and noticed that several boys looked at them but turned away, red-faced, after their partners whispered to them. Pat and she were going to be ostracized, she realized, and held her head high to show that she didn’t care, but when she glanced at her friend, she saw from her set mouth that she, too, had tumbled to what was going on, and that she did care.
When the MC announced a Paul Jones, Laura said, ‘Come on. This is the only way we’ll get partners.’
Hesitating for a moment, Pat followed her into the circle of girls, and they skipped round with the others until the music stopped. Laura found herself opposite a stout, florid sergeant, who swung her into the tango, and she saw that a tall blonde boy was dancing with Pat. She gave herself up to the gliding and dipping then joined the circle until the music stopped again. The tempo changed to three-four time, her partner a corporal who whirled her round energetically, so she did not see Pat again until they were back in the circle, and was relieved that she looked quite happy.
During the slow foxtrot, Laura spotted her friend with the tall blonde boy again, and wasn’t surprised when she brought him over when the Paul Jones ended. ‘He’s another Pat,’ she laughed, breathlessly. ‘Pat Sandison, this is Laura Fullerton.’
The two Pats danced together for the rest of the evening, and Laura was never left on her own either. Only one of her partners asked if he could see her back to camp, but she said she was going with her friend and he didn’t persist.
Just before the last dance began, Pat came over, holding the other Pat’s hand. ‘I hope you don’t mind, Laura, but Pat and I are going now.’
‘That’s OK. See you later.’ Laura’s brightness hid her dismay. Pat Haggarty was attracted to Pat Sandison, that was obvious, and she, herself, would have to spend her evenings on her own in future, but it was her own fault for making it possible for them to meet. She watched them leaving, then turned forlornly to go to the cloakroom.
‘I see your friend’s gone. Well, my offer still holds.’
It was the boy she had previously refused, an LAC, but she let him lead her on to the dance floor. To hell with Pat, she thought rebelliously, to hell with the two Pats, to hell with everybody. She’d come here to enjoy herself and by God she would.
The boy smiled shyly. ‘I’m Doug Phillips.’
‘Laura Fullerton.’
‘It’s my last night in this country,’ he observed. ‘We’re off to warmer climes tomorrow. Well, we’ve been issued with light clothing and the rumour is we’ll be spending Christmas in Malta, or the Med somewhere.’
‘Are you looking forward to it?’
‘Yes and no. Yes, because it’s an adventure, if you like – and no, because I’ve just met you.’
‘Don’t start having ideas about me,’ Laura said, quietly. ‘I don’t want to be involved, serious or otherwise.’
Looking quite surprised at first, Doug’s features slowly relaxed in a smile. ‘Getting over an unhappy love affair? Oh, well, it’s the luck of the draw, I suppose, but you’ll surely let me walk you back?’
‘As long as you remember to keep your hands to yourself.’
After the dance ended, they walked along the road side by side, talking companionably, and Laura felt good – it had been so long since she had allowed herself the pleasure of talking to a boy. Just before they reached the camp gates, Doug said, ‘This is it, then. Aren’t you going to wish me luck, Laura?’
‘Oh, yes. Good luck, and ... I enjoyed dancing with you.’
‘Me, too.’ He planted a light kiss on her forehead, then, without warning, his mouth found hers. Realizing why, she didn’t protest – anyway, it was rather nice.
‘Thank you, Laura,’ he murmured, as he drew away. ‘That’s something for me to remember. I’ll maybe run into you again, some day – who knows?’ Saluting, he walked off, and she went into the hut, thankful that he hadn’t wanted to keep in touch with her.
When Pat came in, a short time later, she announced joyfully, ‘It was love at first sight for Pat and me.’
Laura pulled a resigned face. ‘I thought as much.’
‘He’s being posted overseas tomorrow, but he’s going to write. He’s not part of an air crew, so there won’t be any chance of him being shot down and killed, like ...’ Pat’s eyes clouded.
Her friend’s reason for not having anything to do with boys was now explained to Laura, but it was best not to ask questions. ‘He seemed a decent sort.’
The other girl’s face brightened. ‘He is, Lau
ra, and I’m glad you made me go to the dance tonight.’
When Laura went to Glasgow again – two weeks after Pat came back – Mrs Haggarty gave her a hug. ‘It’s good to see you, my dear, and thanks for what you’ve done for Pat. She withdrew into a shell after her fiancé was killed, two and a half years ago, but now she’s back to being the girl she used to be.’
‘Poor Pat. I gathered that a boy she’d been very fond of had been shot down, but I didn’t know they’d been engaged.’
‘I thought she’d never get over it, but life has to go on, even if you lose the man you love. I speak from experience.’
‘Yes, life has to go on.’ Laura could also vouch for that.
On her solitary afternoon outings, she found herself drawn to the warm-hearted Glaswegians, and was sorry when the time came for her to leave. Kissing her cheek at the door, Mrs Haggarty said, ‘I’ve enjoyed having you, and now that my Pat’s found another boy, I hope I’ll soon be hearing that you’ve fallen in love too.’
‘Pigs’ll fly,’ Laura joked. She was tempted to pour out her own sad experience, but even after all this time, she still hadn’t recovered enough to take any commiserations.
On the train, she couldn’t concentrate to read because of a niggle of apprehension that had started deep down inside her. Something dreadful had happened or was just about to happen. She tried to tell herself that it was imagination, but the feeling only intensified and by the time she reached Wick Station she was in a cold sweat. Running all the way to the airfield, she burst into the hut and looked for Pat, hoping that she’d been worrying needlessly, but her friend’s bed was empty.
Jenny Porter jumped to her feet when she saw who had come in. ‘Oh, thank goodness you’re back. Haggarty’s gone.’
Laura licked her dry lips and tried to control her heaving stomach. ‘Gone? Where?’
‘She went out last night and never came back.’
‘But what ...?’ Throwing her kitbag and respirator on her bed, Laura made for the door again. ‘I’m going to see the CO. There must be something you don’t know, Jenny.’
Time Shall Reap Page 29