“I told him to apologize,” Dad said defensively.
“He hasn’t done it.”
“And I am not going to,” I said, poking her in the ribs lightly. “You look like your mother. Get over it.”
“Don’t worry, honey. When Lisa and I die, you get the house,” Dad said, patting Emily on the back. Emily smiled back at me triumphantly, gloating in her spot as our parent’s favorite child.
“That’s fine. Grandma has already promised me hers and it’s much nicer,” I said.
“It is much nicer,” Emily agreed in surprise. “Which is why I can’t believe she offered it to you.”
“He did spend every weekend at Mom’s house growing up,” Dad said. I snorted. He said it like I was there voluntarily. I got into a lot of scrapes when I was younger, my parents decided the best way to straighten me out was to have me spend more time with my grandmother. She was strict, didn’t stand for foolhardy behavior, and made me spend every weekend mowing her lawn and reorganizing her library. After I had completed my chores, she made iced tea and we would sit in her living room, reading quietly. I was miserable then and missed those weekends now.
Emily huffed, walked away, leaving Dad and me standing in the entryway. Dad put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and appraised me carefully.
“You need money?”
“I have savings.”
“You just bought a house.”
“I’m aware. I have a really good job.”
“Are you having Jacobs & Shultz manage your money?”
“Nana threatened to disown me if I didn’t.”
Nana was Dad’s grandmother and my great-grandmother. She liked to call her grandkids and great-grandkids now and then to randomly check in on them. We had a running theory that she had a list of favorites and based on our answers to her questions, she moved us up and down that list. The last list before she passed would determine who got what in her will. She was still going strong at nearly ninety-nine years old, so it would be a long time before she passed, fingers crossed.
“Good to have you back, kid,” Dad said, thumping me on the back.
I rolled my eyes. “Why do you people act as if I abandoned you? I went to college, then got a job.”
“There are colleges and jobs in California. None of your cousins left. Sienna only went down to San Diego. Thirteen years is a long time, Daniel.”
“I wasn’t ready to come back,” I said. Dad’s eyes lightened with understanding, he released a gust of breath and put his hand on my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.
“I missed you, kid,” he said. I stared at him in surprise, swallowing the lump which had suddenly formed in my throat. He had never said that to me before, not even when I first moved to Chicago.
“I missed you, too.” And that was the end of that. Dad turned and walked back to the couch.
“Is Lisa here?” I asked, following Dad. Emily was at the dining table, frowning down at her tablet. Dad and I settled on either side of the couch.
“She had to go to the store, but she should be back soon,” Em replied distractedly.
The idea had come to me while I was absorbed in Eve’s messages. I would ask Lisa what to do. I couldn’t trust Emily not to make a bigger deal of things, so asking her was out of the question. I still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell Sienna the truth, knowing that the longer I waited, the bigger the explosion would be when I finally told her. Dad would likely tell me to tell Sienna the truth. Lisa was my best option.
I was hoping to talk to Lisa in private. Emily dashed that hope when, during dinner, she asked me what I was doing visiting our parents on the weekend when I had a brand-new girlfriend and probably should be spending time with her. The reactions to that news were as I had expected. I was thrilled because someone other than me thought of Eve as my girlfriend, but it was Em, who was just as obsessive (in the best way) as I was, so I wasn’t sure if I should have been thrilled. Dad was disappointed that I was lying to Sienna, no matter how much I tried to explain myself. Lisa was cautiously optimistic seeing my dating as a sign that I was settling down in San Diego.
The rest of dinner was spent in silence. I finally saw my opportunity to talk to Lisa when dinner was over, and it was time to clean-up. I picked up the dishes and followed her into the kitchen. Over my shoulder, I saw Dad and Em step through the back door and out onto the deck.
“I’m not lying to Sienna,” I said. I turned on the water, putting my hand under the spray and waiting for it to get hot.
“You’re keeping the truth from her,” Lisa said. The patient lilt to her voice brought me back to my childhood. I couldn’t remember a time when Lisa had been angry or upset. I was sure Dad and us kids had tested her patience plenty over the years, still she never once raised her voice. She had the voice of a yoga instructor, the kind that was meant to make you fall asleep.
“Which is not the same as lying. Lying is making up something that is the opposite of the truth,” I said.
Lisa smiled, not out of amusement, and shook her head. “You’re planning on telling her soon, I hope? How serious are things between you and Eve?”
“I don’t know. She’s been distant for the past couple of weeks. Before, she would text me back the same day. Now, she goes a day, even two without replying, and then it’s a vague excuse about being busy. She’s been struggling with her business and I don’t want to push her. A clear answer would be nice, though.”
Lisa dropped the towel she was using to clean the counter and went to the coffee maker to turn it on.
“Why don’t you just ask her?”
That was the million-dollar question. The answer was that I didn’t want to hear her say she wanted nothing to do with me. I was hoping giving her all the space she needed would eventually help her realize she wanted to be with me. And I wasn’t exactly the sort who enjoyed being smothered in a relationship. If the tables were reversed, I knew Eve wouldn’t push me because it wasn’t in her to do that.
“I don’t want her to ask me for space, so I am giving it to her before she even has the chance to ask.”
“That’s very noble. And not at all the Daniel I know.”
I snorted and started scrubbing the greasy pot in the sink.
“I can be patient,” I said, hearing the amusement in my voice.
Lisa laughed and started to make a fresh batch of coffee.
“Do you Reid’s’ even know how to be patient?”
“There’s always room to grow.”
“Can you tell that to your father?”
“I feel something different when I am with Eve. Different than what I felt with Cecily or in the relationships before her. It’s pure, potent. Does that make sense? I find myself wanting to tell her things I never wanted to share with anyone, knowing it would make me vulnerable.”
“You are in love with her.”
I had a physical, visceral reaction to those words. The pot almost slipped out of my hands and I caught it at the last moment. I rinsed off the suds and placed it on the drying rack before turning to look at Lisa. She wore a little smirk on her face which told me she caught my fumble.
“It’s not love. I am not…we’re not in love,” I said. I hoped it came out calm and reasonable and not as frantic as it sounded in my head.
Lisa’s smile grew wider and the look in her eyes made me think she thought I was a fool.
“What is it with you Reids and the idea of falling in love? Why does it scare you so much?”
“I’m not scared.” I tried to keep my limbs from stiffening and myself from being defensive. I was the one who broached the subject with her; she was going to give me her opinion. Even if her opinion was completely wrong.
“Look, all I’m saying is, sometimes, you can spend years with someone and not fall in love. And sometimes, you meet someone you have an instant connection with and fall in love within days, weeks, or months. I knew I loved your father after our first date and it took him two years to tell me he loved me. If
you really love Eve, be patient with her. But first, you have to admit your feelings to yourself. Bring out the coffee, will you?”
With that, she grabbed the chocolate cake she had made for dessert and took it out onto the patio. I rubbed my hands over my face. Shit! Was I in love with Eve? I loved talking to her and spending time with her, and I did spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about her. But love? Did Eve feel the same way?
It was all I could think about hours after the dishes were done, dessert was eaten, the dishes were done again, Emily had left and I was in my old bedroom, staring up at the ceiling because I couldn’t fall asleep.
Eve and I suffered from the same problem. We wanted to commit; it was also the hardest thing we had ever done. The only thing I had ever truly committed to was my career, and Eve her bakery. My job was the only thing I never wanted to run away from. Eve’s position in my life was starting to trump even that.
I turned over to my side to change my scenery from the ceiling to the wall lined with all the awards I had won in school. My phone lit up on the nightstand where I had placed it after getting into bed. I leaned up on my elbow and reached for it.
Chapter 21 – Eve
My panic over my panic that my business was failing subsided a little when the Mayor of all people called to have a meeting with me. Her daughter was getting married and she needed someone to bake the cake for the bridal shower and wedding and the groom’s cake. They had fired the woman who was supposed to do the cakes, and the one after that and the one after that and so on. I was their seventh option. Never had I been more excited to be someone’s seventh choice.
It didn’t help my creative process, but I did get to make macarons. I hadn’t made macarons for years and I had to call Maddie to walk me through the process again. On the bright side, the cranberry and orange macarons I made were some of the best baking I had done in months.
I had lost all track of time, day or night, it didn’t matter, I was always at work. Maddie wasn’t home and I didn’t have any reason to be there either or be anywhere else for that matter. Was I avoiding a certain someone who shall not be named? Yup. I didn’t know what to make of Sienna telling me not to fall in love with him. How could I control my emotions? Especially when I thought I may already be falling for him.
Ending things with Daniel was probably the right option. I needed to focus my energy on my business as I’d always done. My relationship status and problems have never been a priority, which answers the question of why I always got dumped. Where could the relationship with Daniel go if I was forbidden to fall in love with him? I didn’t want to be heartbroken. My mother had gone through that and watching her suffer had put me off the whole thing. So, before things got worse with Daniel, it was better to cut things off.
It would be even better if I had the guts to answer his calls or messages and say that to him. Instead, I was being the asshole who ghosted the person they were dating because I was too chickenshit to say it wasn’t working out. Or in our case, it would be, ‘your sister told me not to fall in love with you, and since I may be on the verge of doing just that it’s better if we not see each other’. It was so simple that even Daniel shouldn’t have a problem with it.
“Evelyn, what ails you?”
I looked up from my margarita, at my girls who were all staring at me with varying degrees of curiosity and worry. It was another Thursday night; we were gathered in Stella’s apartment that she shared with her abundance of plants. The woman had a thumb so green even Mother Nature would be jealous.
“I’m fine,” I scoffed.
“Are you sure? Because it seemed like you were trying to read your future in the bottom of that glass,” Stella said.
“Is my brother upsetting you?” Sienna demanded. She was tucked into a corner of the sofa closest to me, watching me with her chin resting in her hand. I marveled at her ability to be completely fine with this situation. I’d thought she would be harboring some resentful feelings. Nope! She had greeted me today as she always had.
“No.”
“Are you sure?” She narrowed her eyes.
“Yes, fine. I’m going to the bathroom, then I will make another pitcher,” I said. I got up, avoiding everyone’s eyes and the numerous plants. I made it to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, taking a deep breath. Finally, it was just me, my thoughts, and the pot of African violets Stella had on the sink. It was only a moment of solitude before rapid knocking came on the door and I opened it, only to have Clarissa and Rosemarie push their way in.
I stared at them in bafflement.
“Have we reached the point in our friendship where we’re comfortable peeing in front of each other?” I asked.
“I hope we never reach that point in our friendship,” Rosie said, cringing a little.
Clarissa closed the toilet seat lid and sat down, putting one leg over the other and resting her chin on her fist. She appeared the picture of casualness; I knew better. From the way her hazel green eyes moved over me, she was trying to get all my secrets out.
Rosie situated herself on the edge of the bathroom, staring up at me with innocent grey eyes.
“So, what’s going on here?”
“Nothing, we just wanted to chat. See how things are with you,” Clarissa said. Rosie nodded enthusiastically.
“I haven’t had sex with Daniel,” I said, cutting to the chase. “With the way things are going, I’m never going to have sex with Daniel.”
I sat on the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. I was giving into pout mode. I missed Daniel. I missed him more than I should someone I wasn’t even sure I knew all that well. Was I going to blame him? I didn’t share a lot of things with him, yet expected everything from him.
“How do you know that’s what I was going to ask?” Clarissa asked, feigning offense.
“Because I know you. You brought Rosie in here because she’s the nicest,” I said.
“I brought her in here with me. You seem kinda down,” Rosie said tentatively.
I sighed, reached out my hand, and grasped Clarissa’s in an apology. I didn’t have the energy to verbally apologize. The tiredness had nothing to do with Daniel. That came from working sixteen, seventeen hours a day, on my feet and moving around all the time. I was rushing through all the orders because I didn’t want to mess up the three cakes for the Mayor.
“I’m fine,” I said again. “I’m exhausted because I’m working so much. I feel terrible because I’ve been avoiding Daniel. Sienna has forbidden me from falling in love with him. I can’t date him; I just can’t love him. Why would I even want to date him then? I know she means well, and she’s been so amazing through this. She doesn’t hate me; I can’t ask for more.”
“Sienna didn’t forbid you from falling in love,” Rosie said. “She just wants you to be careful.”
“Rosie, you read those romance novels. You know what happens when a man and woman get together,” Clarissa said. “If Eve doesn’t want to see him, she doesn’t have to see him.”
“But that’s the thing!” I exclaimed. “I do want to see him. I want to see him all the time and talk to him all the time. He smells amazing, he’s got the best smile, I miss our conversations, I miss his smell. You know that crisp, wintery smell?”
I stopped talking, noticing the way Clarissa and Rosie were staring at me. Rosie with a small smile on her face, Clarissa with a blank look that hid who knew what emotions. I felt my face burn, realizing I had said much more than I had intended to. And saying those things out loud has just made me realize exactly how much I missed Daniel. I was an idiot. I thought cutting off all contact from him cold turkey would make everything better. All it has done was made me realize the very thing I didn’t want, to be addicted to Daniel.
I groaned, leaned my head back against the door.
“I’m screwed,” I said.
“In the novels, the heroine always has to take a leap of faith,” Rosie said. “She struggles, but she finds that it’s the best thing t
hat’s ever happened to her.”
“Life is not a romance novel, Rosie,” Clarissa said, in soothing, motherly tones. “If it was, we would all be having amazing sex all the time.”
“That’s true,” Rosie conceded. “What I meant is that Eve should take a leap of faith. The only reason you stopped talking to him is that you think Sienna is right and Daniel will fuck up. You assume she is right.”
“She’s his sister.”
“So?”
“So…she knows him.”
Rosie huffed and crossed her arms. For the first time since I had known her, I thought she was upset. Rosie never got upset or worked up. I thought it was a bit unhealthy for her to keep all those emotions buried inside instead of letting them out. I never imagined her letting out her emotions on me.
“I’m sure they are close, but they haven’t lived together for thirteen years. Daniel could have changed a lot during that time. If you want to keep being scared and stupid and break up with a man you’re falling in love with, then go ahead. We’ll be good friends and support you. Just be prepared for the regret you’re going to feel when you’re lying in bed at night and wishing you had someone to curl up with. You’ll know then what you missed out on.”
Rosie stopped talking, her face red and her breathing hard. Clarissa and I exchanged looks, she looked as surprised as I felt. We turned back to Rosie.
“Is this what you’ve been hiding behind your quiet exterior, or have you been working with Logan for too long?” Clarissa asked.
If Rosie had blushed, it was hard to tell. “I get a little worked up when I feel greatly about some topic. Eve’s HEA is of great importance to me.”
“Thank you, honey. That means a lot to me,” I said. It did.
“I think I’m a little attracted to you right now,” Clarissa said, looking at Rosie through narrowed eyes.
That time, I was sure Rosie blushed.
Two days went by before I finally got the guts to pick up the phone and call Daniel. I thought about how easy it had been to dip my toes in the water with Daniel holding my hand and standing beside me. I had trusted him that night, even let my emotions rush over me so that I had kissed him. I tried to summon up that same trust and courage as I sat on my bed on Saturday night, technically Sunday morning, with my blanket pulled up to my chest.
Not My Type : Golden Girls 1 Page 17